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About Individualized

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    Junior Member
  • Birthday August 27

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    United States, Minnes0ta
  • Interests
    Trying to find answers like everyone else !
  1. I can't pick up the phone, and when I say can't I literally can't. This is a monster for me anxiety wise and the only way I can get help is if I go to the ER and get things rolling from there. I can't understand it, but I have gotten terrible at making decisions and even deciding to do anything. I'm only doing this because its tje result of doing nothing for four years. Now I have to do something that's how it works for me I guess . I'm just terrified of what everyone else will think. Parents, family, whoever even the person I talk to when I walk in. I hate the stigma of being depresses almost more then I do being depressed. I feel as of they are going to look at me funny like I'm crazy and treat me different. That's what's really getting me, especially in the hospital.
  2. I'm not going to hurt myself this minute I'm okay no need for hotlines I just want to know how to do everything. Do I just go to any hospital at any time? Where do I go? The emergency room? Who do I talk to? What do I say? What if I can't say how I feel or don't want to tell the person at the desk how I feel? Please someone!
  3. My parents want nothing to do with me anymore . I've destroyed every relationship I have, there is nobody. I am feeling terrible right now, suicidal thoughts won't go away, Mainly because I don't know what else to do. I have bad depression with a terrible addiction, my parents don't want it In there house anymore, they are kicking me out. I can't help myself let alone handle a homeless shelter. I feel lost and afraid, without anyone to fall on. If I go to the hospital for my depression and suicidal thoughts what will happen? I don't even know if ill be strong enough to walk in the doors. Can someone please tell me what to do, what to expect and so on. I'm really scared, I've been needing help for so long now that its so close my anxiety is getting to me. Please get back to me quickly I need to know in the next two hours. As soon as possible would be great! Thank you!
  4. Does anyone have any experiences with the two? Preferably any smokers out there? Im going through a hard time and I could really talk to someone about this. These two things alone have taken over my life. Thank you.
  5. I should also add that i do go to AA meetings and have some great support there, but i havnt been going to any meetings lately, mainly because my friend who i got rides with isnt my friend anymore. And well, finding a ride, thats even hard for me to do. I cant stand this.
  6. Im 20 years old and i cant make any decisions for myself, or at least it seems that way. Ive been depressed for a long time, and have noticed that in order for me to do anything, i need some support or someone telling me what to do. I am constantly over thinking everything until i get into this haze that has me confused and not sure what direction or decision is best. I find it almost impossible for me to create goals, because i dont know what i want to do. I try and think about my interests in life, and i dont have many if any that are important. I am still living at home with my parents. I live with a disfunctional family, there is no communicating, no sort of relationships at all and just fighting all of the time. The stress around my parents house is unbelievable. Ive been smoking green to self medicate my depression and ive gotten a terrible addiction to it, i use everyday, everyone laughs at me when i say im addicted to it. Having no suppport is making getting help almost impossible. The amount i use and the amount of time is crazy. I dont have a life because of this, and little friends. The reason i brought up all of that, is because i dont know what to do. I am terrible at making decisions, and i need to make one soon. My life is hell living in this dark.room only to do drugs all day and night. I want to go to treatment, but for some.reason i cant.pick up the phone. I have no money, and my anxiety freezees me up with fear of it all. I have been.doing better with my depression, ive beeb on.celexa for three months and have noticed a considerable drop in my depression and anxiety. But my addiction and family are holding me back from really making a dent in getting my depression better. In fact, my face is bruised up and im sore because my brother whos 22 attacked me yesterday about something as stupid as me wearing his shorts. I finally have an urge to get better and get my life back, after years of depression that robbed everything from me. I just dont know what to do, and i dont have long to do it. Im afraid my parents will kick me out again and i hate freezing. I cant make it as a homeless person i would end up dead. Can someone please give me some advice or shed some.light on maybe where i can go. I need to get out of this house, it isnt healthy living here for me. I need help. But im finding it difficult to do anything. I have no job, no car and no money. Whatever money i get goes towards drugs. I need some help here i feel trapped ):
  7. I just needed someone to tell me everything will be alright and there is hope... Not one person out the cares enough ...cool
  8. What do you do when you get too depressed to live? I don't want to die, I just don't want to live like this anymore. I honestly feel like I'm going crazy! I need to write this down, I need to ask some questions and get answers! For one, I'm 20 years old. I can't hold down a job. My anxiety gets so bad I don't want to leave my house. Excuse me, my parents house. I feel as if I'm dead inside. Literally. I can't get out of bed in the morning, I sleep all day, I have nothing pushing me to get out of bed. No energy, no motivation, nothing. I've lost my family, I can barely live with them. My friends got tired of my and don't talk to me. I don't know the last time I was happy.. I don't know what to do. I can't live life, my depression has turned it into a monster. I've been depressed for a long time, I thought my depression couldn't get any worse but I started a medication called celexa, I've been on it for almost four weeks, and I've never been more depressed. I mean, I cut myself for the first time the other night. I woke up and didn't remember because I was drinking, and my blanket was soaked with blood and my wrist had at least 15 cuts. That scared me more then anything has in my life. I think I tried to end it. I don't know what came over me, I don't know why I did it, that's the first time I've ever done anything like that in my life. I basically don't feel like me anymore. I feel like someone else and I hate who I am. I can't explain it, but this depression and anxiety is destroying me and anything I've loved in my life. I'm on the edge, I see absolutely no hope for me. I just want to know what to do. I know my meds are having a bad affect on me, but I've been super depressed since before I started taking them, the meds just made it worse. I just don't care anymore. I honestly don't know why I'm on here, I guess I'm reaching out one more time. I've reached out to my family, to them I'm a lazy a******. My friends arnt there anymore I need to go somewhere, maybe treatment. I hate admitting this, but I really need some help. I'm tired.. I feel like I'm going to lose it. Can someone help me or tell me something anything... I can't do this anymore. All my life is about is feeling sorry for myself an d smoking. I need some relief ):
  9. You NEED to put yourself in social situations! This is IMPORTANT! I can relate to a lot of what you said, especially the isolation part. It's hard to live life when you feel like this. It stops you from leaving your house. The only thing I can say is get social. Making friends is good for almost everything. They take you out of your mind, help you feel good and help you work your out. I wish the best for you, Peace
  10. I guess nobody could thank y'all for your time and support that's all I asked glad it was too much.
  11. I'm 19 years old, turning 20 in Augest. I'm not going to sit here and explain my life story, I've done that before. What I really want to do here, is try and understand my depression so I can overcome it. I've been Depressed since what seems middle school. I haven't been truly happy since my older brother molested me. Yea it's sick and gross and probably in appropriate but I have to deal with it so please at least try and understand. I got into fights in middle school, and through high school I was a loner, never had a big group of friends. Never went on dates or went to party's. I got kicked out of the Marines for smoking dope, the summer after I graduated high school. Since then I noticed my depression for what it actually was. Okay I did explain my life story, but I summarised it down to a tee. I first noticed I was depressed after I got kicked out of the marines. I always thought I was shy, and just really lazy. But then came the thoughts of self loathing, then the suicidal thoughts with no motivation or drive. My life has been garbage for the last three years. I'm addicted to dope (green), and if I try and quit my anxiety and depression goes through the roof. I've turned into and azzhole. My relationships are gone, nobody loves me like they used to. Family and friends don't respect me anymore. I have NOTHING. Not even my respect. I don't have a car, I'm stuck in this bedroom all day and I don't have any drive to do anything. I had a job at Arby's a month ago but I quit because it was too much. That just leaves me thinking if I can't hold down a job at Arby's I'm worthless. I've tried getting help a coue times, the first time I got depression meds, but I flushed them down the toilet because my dad made me feel rotten for taking them. My family doesn't accept depression, so I'm just a lazy piece of crap to them. Deep down I feel like I'm a good person, I just don't know anymore. I think I'm bipolar, as the weeks go on I'm less depressed then other weeks, where I'm super depressed and thinking suicidal thoughts. I would never hurt myself because I'm a coward but still the thoughts are there. Here's my question, what do I do? Last time I went to a doctor he made me fill out a ten question survey about depression which was garbage. My parents doesn't accept depression so they refuse to get me help, or if they do they make me feel guilty about being crazy or on meds or something. I feel guilty enough about being depressed. I don't think it's my fault, but at the same time I'm not doing anything to get myself better. I don't have money, or a job. My parents want to kick me out. I don't know how anyone could really help me with what I just said.. I'm really tired and I'm having a hard time explaining myself. I just don't know what to do in my life, and I was hoping someone could give me a clue? Thank you.
  12. Not doing well either, I know it's impossible to see, and even a little annoying to hear when your not doing well, bet this will pass. In fact, I'm probably in your situation at the moment. Hope everything turns out gret for you :)
  13. I've been really depressed for a long time, so much so it's destroyed my life and my future. I still battle it everyday and am currently trying to find help but to no luck. I got a low paying job at Arby's, and I feel pathetic working there. I start tomorrow at 2-5 I know it's probably easy to some people but my life has been a mess lately.. I'm worried about failing or not being good enough.. Can someone help give me tips for the anxiety that comes with this please? Thanks!
  14. I'm not talking about isolating yourself like depression already makes you do. I'm talking about when you see a trigger, run, then think before you react. You said that the problems are constant so you can't get away and run? Then stay and run in your head. If you know your going to get mad, have a special place in your head where you can hide. Like a memory of when you were the happiest. Then you may be surprised at how you actually can isolate your anger and not yourself.
  15. As for just your anger, I am currently in a battle with that myself. However, I find isolating myself when I'm angry helps, if I don't say or do something first lol. It's easier to take a minute and relax and think about why your mad then inthe sPur of the moment when someones irritating you. Just saying lol how old are you if I may ask?
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