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Shy80

Junior Member
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About Shy80

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 01/26/1980

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    North Carolina

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449 profile views
  1. Hi everyone! I'm sorry I have been MIA. I have and still dealing with my mom's death. Right now, I feel like I don't care about how others feel about me. I am trying to live day by day and my mother and dad's side of the family, except my dad's sister don't even see how we're doing. The only way they'll speak to me anyways, if I call them first.
  2. Well, my anxiety will skyrocket because it's heading to where I live. I'll probably have a full blown panic attack. It's good that you're anxiety is under control.
  3. I feel a bit better today. One of my mom's friends told me that my ma told her some things before she died. I cried and cried. I think I was holding in a lot of my pain or grief. The things that my mom told her were all good things. One thing she told me that my mom told her that she wasn't afraid to die. That was eating at me for so long. I always wondered if my mom was afraid to die. I didn't want to be afraid. She told me other things as well.
  4. I am tired, but I can't go to sleep. I can't go to the sleep in the daytime anymore, which I'm glad because I won't be able to sleep at night. I went out today as usual. I got hit on by an old man. It's funny I always get hit on by crazy or old men. I know I have mental problems, but they take crazy to the extreme.
  5. Now, I feel a bit better that Prozac worked for you. I'm on the generic version. She said it works for some and others it doesn't. She's going to put me on a low dose. I'm supposed to take 10 mg for 7 days and then 20 mg after that. I was hesitant because I think I read on the forum that Prozac took their hair out. I need my hair.
  6. I'm 39. I know I'm old. lol I can leave the house, knowing what I need, but as soon as I get there, my mind goes blank. I have to think and think. I have been in the house and forgot I had something in my hand, such as food and carried it upstairs. I was supposed to put it downstairs in the fridge. I can get all the way downstairs or upstairs and completely forget what I was supposed to get. I sometimes put things on paper, especially when I go to the store. I need to do it from now on. That's what the lady at the pharmacist told me today. She said her dad died 4 years ago and she still grieves. I told her people tell me that I will get over it. She said, you never will. Sorry for waiting so long to respond.
  7. Sorry I haven't responded in a while. I went to my psychologist today and she prescribed Prozac. She put me on a low dose. I noticed she keeps me on low doses. The Trazadone finally started working. The Lamictal helps with my depression. My anxiety and panic attacks are horrible. I had an episode like I always have. My dad pissed me off today and I just got mad and started screaming, hit the counter hard, and fussed out my stupid brother. I told him that what he said when my Mom was alive hurt me. He doesn't remember. Of course, when people say mean stuff to you they can't remember. He told me when my mom was in the hospital from having a tumor removed that me and my Dad weren't taking care of her. We were the only ones by her side until the end. Now, my mom's friend kept on telling me that my mom should have had better doctors. She had the best doctors that she could afford. I took a long walk because everyone just pissed me off. I had to tell my dad before I left that I'm not my mom and you can't expect me to do the same things that she did like fuss people out who got on her nerves. I'm reserved and I only get riled up, if I'm provoked. Both my brother and my mom's friend have amnesia. When I came back I guess my dad thought about it and told me we didn't cause ma's cancer. People say that stuff because they don't like us. There is no cure for cancer. We can't cure it. I don't forget hurtful things people say to me. I may be medicated, but I'm not medicated where I forget. I still have feelings.
  8. You need a new therapist if you can get one. I know sometimes it can be difficult to change therapists. Hang in there. Have you tried writing in a journal. I have one and it's been helpful.
  9. You are not stupid. I am 39 and still haven't gotten over things that happened to me as a child. Have you thought about talking to a therapist?
  10. I have been MIA for a while. I am still grieving for my mom, but I am able to think of the things she used to do. I am trying not to think about how she looked when she was sick. I prayed to God to help me to not think about it. I hate thinking about it. I am still mad at my mom's side of the family. I am learning to cope with their ignorance. I just hope they are suffering for what they did my mom and how they're treating my dad and I. In my mind, I want them to rot in hell, but I know that's not good to think that.
  11. I agree. They want to medicate you as much as possible and end up giving you the wrong meds. My psychiatrist wants to put me on Prozac. I don't know. I'm already experiencing memory loss at my age. I don't forget everything, but small things I do. I told her last time I was having issues when remembering things and she said it was probably because I'm still grieving.
  12. I agree. I have noticed I am able to talk about about my mom used to be instead of thinking about when she was sick. I am still anxious. She hasn't given me anything to help with that. I wish I had a better psychiatrist, but this is the only one I can afford.
  13. Sorry I haven't responded. I'm seeing a psychiatrist. She compares my issues with others. I try to explain how I feel, but she says no, most people do this and that.
  14. Since I've been on these mood stabilizers I haven't cried as much, but I think about my mom every single day. I had a dream about her and I knew she was dead, but I don't think she knew. She was just walking around the house and talking like she used to. My mom's side of the family and her friends believe I should have gotten over the same day we buried her. They are stupid anyways.
  15. Carry a bat anyways and bust is skull open. You are just protecting yourself.
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