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Wild Child

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About Wild Child

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday November 6

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    I live Tennessee ~ My heart is in Wisconsin

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  1. Trace, I miss you! Please take care and write me a PM when you can. :^)

  2. I am sorry you going thru this pain. It is a heavy burden. I am going thru the same issues. I see hope that maybe you can too. You have given your pain a voice instead of sitting right now silently in paIn. There was a time when all I did was cry, I didn't have words. I read a quote: Don't count the flowers in the garden, but the seeds that you plant. Take great csre of you. Wishing you hope today.
  3. Sheepwoman!.Dropping by to say hi. I hope all is well. :)

     

  4. Hi Trace, I sent you a private message, don't know if you got it. take great care! Hope all is well with you! Wild Flower

  5. P.S... Just wanted to say I have found another counseling center to go to at my university. It sounds like they will listen and let me talk about my issues. I think I am more ready since I've had to fight these other counselors. Made me think about the real issues and how I want to address them. I didn't have that even six months ago! Anyway, just wanted to share. Thanks for the links and for listening! :)
  6. Thank you everyone for the information and links! I am sorry I haven't been near a computer until now. On the Thursday I had the appt., I bailed. :-/ I felt a little sick from not sleeping and eating too much, so I called in sick. I was just afraid to face this man. How strange, really. I just had this image of his "mean" face. LoL It was like all of his negative vibs became an image, that seemed to be his face when he gave me this assignment! It was as if he was saying, go ahead, and see if YOUR way works! We have another appt. scheduled but I got a letter saying to call to reschedule. Not sure if the other appt. stands. I'll call him this Thursday (only day he is in) and see. I am basically looking for a needle in a haystack! He said to come up with exercises about the past. I think he doesn't understand and that in itself is frustrating. Part of what I really need is a counselor who gets it, gets that I have pain that I need to RELEASE. Not just forget it, as I have been trying! I will go to the links and find a couple more exercises. Thank you all for responding. :)
  7. I realize this is a last minute request, and if no one has any ideas, I do understand. I just need help in coming up with two more ideas. I will check back mid morning. If you have anything that you've heard of or a website I could go to, let me know. If there are any self-acceptance or other activities I could suggest. I feel put on the spot by my doctor. I feel he isn't a supportive person to explore my past but there is no other counselor that I can have (no insurance, last place for me with the state funding). Thanks again!
  8. Hello, I have a counseling session on Thursday- 1pm that I need help with! Some might or might not remember me. I haven't posted,haven't been able to in a long time. Too many things going on that I can't share. :-/ Right now I am trying to come up with some exercises about my past.. My counselor suggested I come up with three exercises about my past. (Side bar- he isn't in agreement about my need to explore my past instead of "changing my thoughts". Ugh. I have had counseling for so long the way he wants to do it and it does NOT work for me but he doesn't agree...) I already have one called the trauma egg (draw three pictures showing your past trauma, then talk about it in counseling) but need two more. Anyone have something that has helped them? Thanks, Wild Flower
  9. Re: Contact Crisis lines Hi, I haven't been around much, too much going on. I had to come and post about a hot-line I found available in the US. It is called Contact and it appears to be in many states/ cities. If you google contact, crisis and your city or state, you should find a website/ information. When I call Hot-lines they often seem adversarial, too busy to talk unless you are in need of immediate intervention. I would hang up, feeling worse than when I called. I called this Hot-line, Contact and they didn't even ask my last name. :) They let me talk and lead the conversation. Here is a statement I found on a web site: "A 24 hour Hot-line offering free, confidential, non-judgmental listening services to anyone in need. Services include crisis intervention, information and referral, and reassurance calls to the elderly." As I said above, google your city and/or state and crisis. I recommend them. I called them tonight, feeling very distraught after calling a local hot-line whose advise was, have you tried to call xyz counseling center. THEY were the xyz counseling center!! I guess they were talking about in the morning, talk to my therapist. BUT what to do until then???! I am glad I called Contact. :) I hope this helps, I know how hard it is to need someone to talk to. Best wishes to all. :)
  10. Dreams, dreams, dreams! GO thy away! LoL -signed not Shakespeare! I was sitting in the audience watching a show. Two women were singing. Actually, one was singing and would go behind a post and the other woman would emerge. Each had short stylish hair, only one was blonde, the other brunet. Only, it wasn't done very well and it was very silly. Like we could see them both? Can't quite remember. Then, all of sudden I had to go on stage with a pan of fresh bakery. Only once I got up there, I had to hide too. I went to the wings and had to lie down. Then, I was in a kitchen and cleaning it up. Evidently I had made treats or something (the pan of bakery? I don't know if this was before the show or a different dream all together). Anyway, there was a man who complemented me on the cleanness of the oven. Only I hadn't used it, couldn't for some reason. This was pointed out to him, and he was even happier that I had worked under less than ideal conditions. Another dream or part of a dream the same night... I was on a hill and one of my old classmates from Grad school was there. I was picking up change in the grass because I needed it, being so broke. I dropped one of my own nickles and my friend tried to push it away from me, saying someone else could find it. I grabbed it back and said it was my own! Then, I rushed down the hill and away, thinking I would go back for the rest of the money when she was gone! This friend is someone that was in another dream months and months ago where she was so happy. She is in real life a very energetic woman I admire. I think she was in this last dream because I saw her on campus about three days ago. I was on the phone and she smiled and nodded at me. I felt so grungy that day and wished she hadn't seen me. Also, I am not really part of that dept. anymore and I think that reflects in the dream. These dreams happened on a night I slept a long time and I am sure there was more dreams I couldn't remember.
  11. That makes a lot of sense, especially about the distortion of thoughts and anger of depression. I have a lot, I mean A LOT of anger towards me. It stems from my childhood, repressed anger in response to my circumstances. My parents were angry people- yelling at each other and my sisters and I. I had noise, I like quiet, no sound at home. When I can hear my neighbors soft, not loud music, I turn on my fan to drone it out. LoL Seriously, I am that sensitive. I finally realized that my anger towards my mom is ironic. I get upset at her- her yelling at me. I feel the anger- gggrrrr and realize, I am anger over anger. Sounds like you are doing a lot of thinking and that is good. :)
  12. Thank you for the information about the Mayan calendar. I had heard a little but didn't know why they were supposedly thought to predict the end of the world.' I hear you, I do. The world is a very indifferent place sometimes. I wish you didn't experience as much as you do or at all. I have too. I have very close friends, who I have known for 19 years and I knew their kids since they are 5-7, was part of soooo many celebrations- but left out of their wedding celebrations. My friend would be a aghast at my mentioning but it is an example of how people (for valid reasons many times, but often hurtful) leave others out, make the world a less appealing place. It sounds like the people you have met, interacted with haven't been open or helpful to you. They are acting in their own interest not yours. It is a shame that others have less awareness of other people's feelings. If you face that time after time, it is no wonder you feel as you do. Think of this. If you keep searching, interacting with others, you may find a friend. Each person you meet is an individual who has potential for being a friend or not being a friend. Don't discount the next person because of past rejections. I admit that is hard many times. Just don't give up.
  13. **Editing to answer your question, Is this a psychotic thought... see below... Remember Y2K? The computer crash of 2000? Didn't happen. I know that is a different prediction from different people. But still. These kind of date predictions have been going on forever. I read somewhere about it happening when the calendar was moving from the 900s to the 1000s or something like that. (Sorry, it has been a long time ago I read it...). My point is there are many things that could happen, many people could predict them before it happens. Many things that are predicted do not happen. When the prediction is such a huge thing (ha, understatement- the world ending? Kind of huge? ) it is going to capture our attention even more. And what if it is true? Is there anything we could do about it? Not likely towards it happening or not happening. Mah. My post isn't adding much. I could write about environmental happenings around the globe or like you mentioned, how people behave sometimes. But I don't really want to get into all of that mucky muck stuff. ;-) Life's negatives can create havoc in someone's personal life (esp. when we're depressed, I have to add). It is easy to use the world's problems as a jumping off point to feel bad. BUT We can look towards the good things in life- babies, flowers, someone smiling at another, a kind word, a hug, talking on the phone to a dear aunt (or friend, or anyone, really) or ______ fill in the blank with another wonderful thing you can find. IF we LOOK for it, we CAN find it. One thing, I think people are basically good. Yes, people do a lot of negative things but they do good things too. There is a saying that you find what you look for or for what you expect. Ever buy a red/blue/green car and then, notice all of the red/blue/green cars on the road? AND ha, IF you do buy a red blue green car, people will be STARING at YOU! Little joke, I was really meaning red, blue OR green but... my mind is working strange today. ** I don't believe it is a psychotic thought. Reading about it, hearing people talk, can create an uneasiness. You could develop unhealthy thoughts about it that could cause you further distress and problems. But just the thought, I wish it would happen, can have many meanings.
  14. Oye. Trace, are you sure that dream didn't mean that I am going to wind up a sad old woman in a messy apartment (forgot to mention the place was a mess!)? Write the book?? But there are one million pages in that book and I want to read it, not write it! I keep looking in the library but I can't find it... Yeah, I am being a bit hard on me. What else is NOT new? ;-) Don't notice the time I am here!
  15. Prettymelrad, What I meant to be clearer is, yes you can deal with this successfully. It takes time and patience. It takes looking at your life and how you felt then and now. I have come a long way. You can too. The reasons why a child is depressed is beyond counting. As we have seen, read in this thread (and many others) is it is a very individualized illness/ disease. Do you have a counselor? Have you spoken to your doctor? If you have a doctor you see regularly, that might be a good place to start talking. There are also sliding scale fee counselors through county or city mental health departments. You can find help. You can improve and as others have proven, lead a successful life. I am glad you are here and seeking answers. Keep searching and you'll find what you need. :)
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