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  1. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from Atra in Part 1 (of 3): Self-Forgiveness   
    These days, I feel as if the universe is forcing me to accept what is and just find a place of peace inside no matter what's happening elsewhere. It must be my destiny to be a calm center. 😕 
  2. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Atra in Part 1 (of 3): Self-Forgiveness   
    This is how it feels when I attempt to "sit" with a strong, uncomfortable feeling rather than leap for a distraction or anesthetize myself. 
  3. Like
    Tymothi reacted to kels in 02   
    Hi Tymothi
    Thank you for responding.
    Just checking in to say...stay strong.
    Keep well
  4. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from kels in 02   
    Thank you very much. Your words reached their target, and I had to step away for a few minutes to give a proper reply.
    I needed to hear a lot of this. There is great beauty everywhere, and I've always had a gift for finding it (especially in nature), but for whatever reason I never thought of it as a lifeline, when I certainly could and probably should. The tunnel vision gets so comprehensive, so overwhelming, so disorienting, that it's easy to simply be swallowed by the mad darkness, whereas if we are prompted to stay focused, we can remember not only what's outside the tunnel (both before and at the end), but more importantly that there are probably a lot of other beautiful things in the darkness with us. If we could stop being so dedicated to clawing at that distant speck of impossible light and take the time to breathe and ground, our eyes might adjust to the dimness and we might discover helpful items on our way as we watch each of our steps, always forward.
    You helped me, and from half a world away. I will remind myself to look at this again the next time I feel a reversion.
  5. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from Devlinkyla in Hade a nice day   
    That would make any day nice. I wish I lived near water.
  6. Like
    Tymothi reacted to kels in 02   
    Hi Tymothi
    I'm so sorry that life has done the dirty to you. I could say all the customary words but then you already know them, so what I will say is that here half a world away in UK, I am thinking of you and share your pain. Take hold of that tenacity that has brought us through the past 40 years and keep fighting. Keep holding on. For what you might ask. Well, for what we always hold on for; the hope that happiness, normality and sanity are just around the corner. You have experienced some of it and even though it was ripped from your grasp, keep seeking. In the mean time seek the beauty in the things around you, let the wonder of nature caress your soul... but don't stop searching. The adventure is in the journey not the destination.  You have journeyed far and are wary. Rest, rejuvenate, build strength to face the enemy that is depression. Be a warrior, do not succum to the seductive darkness.
  7. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Atra in So now they know. (Or do they?)   
    A good insight, thanks. I hadn't considered this. What human being would be eager to rethink and conclude that their judgments were misguided? Maybe it's more comfortable for most neurotypicals to view their mental health as temporary dysregulation. When living conditions return to the way they were? They assume they'll go back to being "normal", while we'll remain "nutjobs". 
    Feels jaded to assume this applies to all, though. I choose to believe in this abnormal time, I can make a small difference.
  8. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from Atra in So now they know. (Or do they?)   
    This is a good way to put it. You'd think it would bring us closer together, help us feel more alike. And maybe for some, it does. But I doubt the average neyrotypical is looking at it that way. They might even be even more resentful because it's starting to make sense, and they will feel bad because of the way they've looked at us for so long.
  9. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from Atra in 01   
    Thanks for the kind words.... I certainly hope so - or at least help with existing. I really should look into those emotion wheels, I guess...
  10. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Atra in So now they know. (Or do they?)   
    The non-diagnosed are struggling with Covid-related mental health conditions that resemble our own. I know that because I'm hearing from them. Most aren't struggling out in the open, too risky, so much fear. A large number are reaching out to helplines, though.
    I think some people's perspectives about mental health will shift. I don't know if that includes more compassion on the part of neurotypicals, but surely a better understanding. Like us, they have no clue as to when this will end and they can go back go their baseline again. Stigma remains an obstacle, they do not wish to envision themselves as being like us  and I think that separation limits empathy. 
  11. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Atra in 01   
    This is an amazingly candid and heartbreaking entry. Those raw emotions moved me, it makes this snapshot of your pain so human. It may sound trite to say but I believe this share with all it's naked despair will help people. Thank you for putting a portion of your struggle out in the open. Maybe it will help with your healing, I don't know. 
  12. Sad
    Tymothi reacted to sober4life in 01   
    I cry because I care.It's not bad when someone cries when they should cry.  I feel so much of the pain you feel and I feel very much alone in this world.  The hardest part is looking back through my life and remembering people that loved me.  I remember those times and then go through these times alone.  You think how could people not care now?
  13. Sad
    Tymothi reacted to sober4life in 01   
    This made me cry.  I know how you feel.  I feel very much the same way.  I could have wrote most of it myself.  I keep fighting but a lot of me feels like my story is over.
  14. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from sober4life in Bugs Either Bite or Glow.   
    Now we know why leather is so tough. 😊
  15. Like
    Tymothi reacted to sober4life in Bugs Either Bite or Glow.   
    I never knew they were called buffalo gnats but yes they're everywhere and yes so are the fireflies here in Ohio.  If I mow here I have to change my shirt 2 or 3 times because the flies are attracted to the sweat.  There was a couple of times my back was covered in welts from the flies.  I honestly just thought they were horse flies.  I feel bad for the cows because every time I see them they are covered in these flies.  They are every bit as bad as when you run over an underground bees nest and you get attacked by a swarm of bees.
  16. Like
    Tymothi reacted to HeartagramGirl in Same what a good day   
    sometimes you have to take in the small victories even if it is just going to the beach.. depression is crippling.. you are handling it the best you can.
  17. Like
    Tymothi reacted to sober4life in Self control and Rioting   
    I understand your frustrations but after this year voting is the last thing on my mind.  I will never vote again for anyone or anything because this year has shown me none of us really have any say about anything.  When times get too tough certain people will step in and make all the decisions whether we like those decisions or not.  We have the illusion of freedom as long as they allow us to have that illusion.  Also vote Trump out and put who in there exactly.  Let's be honest both choices we will have will make you scream in fear for one reason on another.
  18. Like
    Tymothi reacted to sober4life in So now they know. (Or do they?)   
    Yes you're right or what happened to Kim Jong Un?  This is a world of misdirection.  Look over there so you don't see what we're doing in the other direction.  I 100% believe the coronavirus is real but they have used it every step of the way for a long list of agendas.  While it's nonstop coronavirus talk on the news they could get away with doing anything right now.
  19. Like
    Tymothi got a reaction from kels in A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum... I Mean The X-Ray Lab In The Basement Of The Local Community Health Clinic....   
    Update: Hand's not broken. Inflamed tendon. I have meds, and they seem to be working. Not that I worried for nothing, but I may have overblown the panic a smidge. Who cares if I have a mangled hand? I could use it to scare children. "Arrgghh! The claw's gonna get ye!"
  20. Like
    Tymothi reacted to LibraryLady in Okay, So I'm No Sound Engineer But...   
    Not bad at all!!! :-)
  21. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Tymothi in It's Hardly Believable   
    Update: The limo company lost the reservation, we discovered as we were waiting for its arrival. So nobody got to ride in it. We all piled into each other's Jeeps and got trashed and had a great time.
    I'm not going to say anything. Nope, not a thing.
  22. Like
    Tymothi reacted to Hertz in Whoops   
    I'm sorry for all the pain you're going through. Sometimes it seems like there's no limit to how much suffering can be imposed on us. It's a good sign that you're reaching out though. We're there to listen. Be patient, everything passes.
  23. Like
    Tymothi reacted to kels in Sneaux. Boo! :/   
    Hey there! Your blogs make me smile! Glad that you have moved so far forward! (((HUGS)))
  24. Like
    Tymothi reacted to solarflare in Sneaux. Boo! :/   
    We mostly just get bucckets of liquid sunshine in the Pacific Northwest. I miss the snow that I experienced in the prairies. Thanks for sharing your description of it. I also am inspired by your hope.Keep on keeping on....
    Solarflare .....still burning
  25. Like
    Tymothi reacted to e1234 in Hey! A New Interface For A New Year! Awesome! Happy New Year, Everybody! Now Clean Up This $%#$@ Planet!!   
    I'm glad you like your new life that is truly fantastic!
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