Trace

Welcome Luvmygirl You can pm any of the Admins, moderators or support staff for the password. It does not have to be anyone specific. I am sure all of them will be willing to help you. If you struggle to find one, you can just pm SufferinSilence or jmg above. Trace

Hi Fighting 4 Survival I am so glad that you shared this. I have missed reading your awesome work. You have a true talent and have a wonderful way of looking inside which reveals realizations :) Trace

I have had so many jobs in so many industries all across the world. I am a jack of all trades but a master of none. Lol I started making my own money at 12, baking and selling what I baked. I also rode other kids horses for them when I was a teen to make my own money. I worked in the restaurant industry for years in resorts are restaurants all around the world. I have lost count of how many places I worked for. I started out as a waitress in most places and once the chefs figured out I could cook, especially pastries and deserts, they all used to dump that on me, but I loved it. I worked in my first restaurant when I was 15. I worked in one restaurant where they did not pay us at all. We were given a section for the night, we got given 2.5% commission and then tips. So if you did not get a table you would make no money. One day they told all of us we had to come in our day off and paint the restaurant. I told them they had to pay me for that. I would not do it for free. I told them that legally I did not work for them, as they did not pay me. Basically I was subcontracted. The told me I did not have to come in and paint. Lol In many, many restaurants, I have often ended up taking over the cooking when staff don't pitch or something goes wrong. In a place I worked in, in Australia, I was working lunch (it was usually me and an executive chef), there were probably about 150 + people around the lunch/pool area. It was light lunches at least. The chef did not pitch and I was told to close it down for lunch. I said no, I can handle it. Lol, I took all the orders, cooked all the meals, did all the drinks and the lot by myself. No one waited long and everything ran perfectly. It was helped by the fact that the kitchen had a one way window looking out over the pool area, so I could see when people needed to order. The chef who did not pitch, was amazed that I had done it all on my own and had a lot of respect for me after that. Even created a signature dish after me. I have ridden horses across the world professionally for a living as well. Worked and ridden for some strange people and stable yards. I have ridden just about every type of horse and done just about every single discipline. I have also taught people and kids how to ride. I have cleaned hotels, guest houses, rooms in pubs. I also have worked in loads of pubs. One I worked in was a live music venue. I loved that job, I made tons of money and got to interview, audition and oversee all the bands. I used to often sing on stage with a lot of them. Although the pub itself used to get very rough at times. I would also have to be the bouncer and I am little, but no one messed with me. Lol One of the most interesting jobs I have ever done was being an extra for the tv/movie/ad industry. I loved that as well. Met so many interesting people. The worst job I ever had was a job I got out of desperation. I was struggling to find work. It was in Australia and I had to stand at the lights on the roads in sweltering heat and collect money for charity. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. The other job that I absolutely hated is the job I left last year (I did it for 7 years) I was a travel consultant . Its not my thing. I was good at it, but I hated everything about it, despite the perks. I have also owned my own catering business (that was excellent money, but exceptionally hard work). I have also had my own pasta business and restaurant that was doing really well. Unfortunately my ex husband sold it it out from under me, which is how I ended up in the travel industry. That destroyed me. I have often held down at any given stage between 2 and 5 jobs at once. I remember riding horses for one lady in the mornings, teaching riding in the afternoons. Working at a restaurant 3 nights a week and a pub on another 3 nights and then on Sundays I worked in a video store. Lol I wonder when I slept?? Trace

Its usually a lack of potassium that does that. Try eating banana's, they usually help with the cramps.

Hi Spiritsage You may want to take a look in the Relationship Room, there are probably a lot of topics that can help you in moving forward in there and you may get a lot more feedback as well. Trace

To be honest, I have been in physical pain for a while now. It is getting to me. My nerves get trapped and my muscles ache, so I went swimming at 7am and it has helped the pain immensely. Its better than taking Xanax (which takes away the pain, as the pain is due to anxiety triggered by lupus), as it is not good to take Xanax often.

Hi Spiritsage Relationships are not easy, especially when dealing with bipolar, as it can change your perception at times. I am sorry that you have lost this woman, I realize that it hurts, but in time it will heal. You can use this experience to strengthen future relationships. The trick is two way communication and honesty. It sounds like she was being triggered at times, which made her scared. I do not know if the two of you are still in touch, but in order to move forward you may need to not have contact with her, so that you can let go and move forward. Also perhaps try writing a blog or keeping a journal. It can help get the thoughts out there without affecting the other person. Sometimes others just don't know what to do with how you are feeling, or they don't understand it and when people don't understand something it often turns to fear. Trace

Hi Waterboy Often your meds need adjusting. It may be time to go back to the doc to see if you need med changes or adjustments. That may help greatly. In regards to musical hallucinations, here are links to two topics where others are struggling with the same thing. You may find some info in them: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/62474-do-you-ever-hear-music-in-your-head/?hl=%2Bsongs#entry955311 http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/84542-constant-musicanyone-have-thisi-have-struggled-for-years/?hl=%2Bsongs#entry937671 Trace

Hi Blueskys I am glad that someone inspired you to share your poem. Its wonderfully written and I love the way you write. Trace

Cool and rainy. Makes a change to the melting heat,

Just alone as usual. I did have a nice compliment though from a bunch of kids. They told my daughters that they thought I was their sister, hahahahaha, at least I got a compliment of sorts, which is rare in my life.

A little cooler today, a few clouds and a nice breeze. Don't know how long it will last though.