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SpaceAce last won the day on March 2 2013

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About SpaceAce

  • Birthday 06/02/1986

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  1. Hi Hope, It might help to try break things down and only focus on say the next 5 minutes of life as it comes. Maybe you can even write down "Things to deal with within the next 5 minutes" as a list and then write a new list when 5 minutes it up. That way things aren't so overwhelming. There is really only two ways do deal with things in life and that's either: 1) Take action - do something to change or get rid of the circumstance but when that option isn't available see (2) 2) Accept it - accepting doesn't mean liking it, it just means you give up the struggle with it Of course the mind likes option 3 which is worry about it, think about it over and over, start preparing for all the things that could go wrong which is pointless and only harmful for you. When I get overwhelmed (many times a day) I try and think "what problem's do I have this very second?" and usually I'm thinking about things in the future which haven't happened. So I then plan to either take action to deal with it or try to accept that there is nothing I can do and just let it go. Hope this helps.
  2. And it's really exhausting. "Why are you single at 29? You should be married with kids by now" Hmm lets see I've been single for over 10 years I don't even remember what a relationship feel like (thank god) what should I say.. "Oh I'm just waiting for the right one" -- "What excites you about life, what just fills you with joy?" Ok let's see, absolutely nothing I fantasize about suicide multiple times and day and I sleep as much as I possibly can when I don't have uni. "Oh Im just a chilled out person" -- "What do you like to do with your spare time, what hobbies do you do?" Well when I'm not sleeping as much as I can I'm likely just sitting on the Internet mindlessly clicking things like YouTube and reddit until the day is gone and I can just hope I don't wake up again. "I'm into doing baking at the moment" "Oh really what kind of things to you bake" "Umm .. Cakes.. And stuff" -- Lately I've been stuck with other people for a couple of days away and my face is just hurting so much by having to fake a smile and laugh when other people make jokes or tell funny stories. I just sit there thinking " I hope I'm smiling enough and I don't look totally miserable".
  3. Hi Nexus, 29 and never had a girlfriend here. First while it may feel like everyone else is in a relationship that is not the case. The main question if why do you want to be in a relationship? For myself I can say that I want to be in a relationship to be cared for, be loved and feel happy. But all these things are just me wanting someone else to fix me and make me feel good which is not fair in any relationship. So for that reason I have stopped looking and stopped caring about getting into a relationship until I can start loving and caring for myself. You don't need a relationship to be happy but it can be an easy temporary fix. The other thing is that when you see a relationship you see the happy, kissy feel good parts but you don't see the fights, arguments, disagreements, sacrifices, etc. Take care.
  4. It's hard to say what you can do to help, you may not be able to do anything that can help. If she is already in therapy and seeing a doctor for antidepressants then I would say the only thing you could do is try to talk to her. Maybe get her out the house to do something fun? Maybe a walk in a nice park or going out for a meal or something?
  5. I'm losing the ability to push myself to get things done at work and falling back into my apathy/don't care/couldn't be bothered feelings. I hate myself for not being able to handle life.
  6. Exhausted. I had a meeting today for 2 hours with 20 random strangers. I was so anxious the entire time and I'm not good with talking to other people so that doesn't help when it's supposed to be about networking. Then when it started they went around the room and everyone had to introduce themselves which I HATE and I could feel my heart pounding so hard I felt like it was bouncing off my ribs. As soon a it finished I left even though you are supposed to network after the meeting as well. I hate networking, seems so fake and I suck at it.
  7. I've been reading about acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) in the book The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.
  8. Today I've come to realise that I'm really not any better than I was 2 years ago. 2 years ago I was sleeping 16 hours a day and spent the remaining time in bed anyway only leaving to go to the toilet and eating a meal (maybe) once a day. Over that time circumstances have improved which slowly gave me enough of a boost to start getting my life back together but I'm still no better at handling life. Today I was in bed most of the day because of being so depressed about this work experience project that I'm doing for uni. I'm getting so anxious about it that I feel nauseous and feel so overwhelmed since I have so much to learn. But the realisation that I'm no better at handling life really sucks. I'm completing my last year of uni this year but I only got this far because of circumstances were good for me not because I was growing and becoming stronger. The only positive is that now I know that I NEED to spend time practising my therapy techniques rather than thinking they would be a nice thing when I had some spare time to do it.
  9. I feel stuck in a loop. The pattern is: 1) Read about some better ways of thinking 2) Spend a small amount of time trying those ways of thinking and think "this is a better way of thinking" 3) The next day forget everything and go back to my horrible whinging thoughts with self defeating attitudes 4) A week later go back to 1 Just can't seem to get anywhere.
  10. I can only speak for myself but I don't handle things well, I procrastinate a LOT and I give up fairly easily. I just try to get through each day but I never really achieve that I want to achieve. All any of us can do is take each day as it comes and try to make the best of it. I find it helps if you try and leave any guilt behind otherwise it's just a cycle of feeling guilty, feeling bad, not getting much done then feeling worst the next day. Take care Duke
  11. Very good question, it's one I think about a lot. One important thing that I think is generally overlooked is that each and every one of us has our own unique journey in life. No one on earth has ever lived the exact circumstances that you have gone though and no one ever will. Therefore comparing ourselves to others is not a valid comparison. If my experience in life has generally been a good one and even in the worst moments I was supposed, cared for and after going through them came out a stronger person then it's not all that far fetched to think I would be a person who enjoys life and can get out of bed in the morning without too much trouble. Yes everyone in the world faces problems and difficulties and yes there are many things that happen behind closed doors. But also there are some people in the world who has experienced a generally happy life. Something to think about.
  12. Is there someone you can talk to about this Izz? Maybe a family member? Are you able to get any help from a doctor?
  13. I can relate to not fitting in with people socially. My social skills are basically non-existent. As for the reason for not checking out I will throw a few out there: 1) Checking out will basically destroy the lives of the people who care about you and I'm saying this not to make you feel guilty but just as a fact. 2) We will all die at some stage, maybe even tomorrow so why not stick around? 3) Things can change in your life even if you feel they never will. 2 years ago I was so depressed I slept 16 hours a day and for the other hours I just laid in bed wishing I was dead. Now I have also finished a degree and I am doing some work experience at a company over the break. I thought things would never get better but they have VERY SLOWLY over a long period of time. It was hard (and still is) but I just try and focus on getting through each and every day. Even if things just go bad again and I mess everything up or even if thing go so bad I'm homeless at least I tried to make my life better and I can feel good for trying. No one can control you or tell you what to do but I hope you can find something worth holding on to. Best of luck.
  14. Have you thought about trying some psychological treatments? There are a few different types out there: Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and others which may be able to help you. Best of luck.
  15. Hi mountvaux, Sorry to hear that you aren't doing well. I wish I had some good advice but I'm afraid I don't. Just wanted to say that I read you story and it sounds like you have been through so much in your life. I hope you can find some way of feeling better again. Take care.
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