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  1. Like
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    No, they are not friends at all. I think my boss's job may already be on the line. My boss and our SEO manager our best buds, that's different. The CEO likes me and kept me on even after he was going to let me go....  I know far more about SEO than anyone on my whole team, including my boss. I believe my boss is threatened by me because he fears the CEO could promote me to SEO Director and get rid of him! That's what's really going on here. My boss is a lying sleezebag and I will make sure that's indirectly said to my CEO. My CEO hired me as well... not my boss. 
  2. Like
    duck reacted to sober4life in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I agree with what you're saying but you said the boss and the CEO are friends.  This won't be easy.  If you want to be boss you need to be friends with the CEO as well.  It might take a while to get this done.  Don't let your emotions get the best of you.  Stay strong.  I believe in you.
  3. Like
    duck reacted to Devlinkyla in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Well I found my old wedding ring today I put it on 🤔
  4. Like
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I am going to take down my a-hole boss. It's a f-ing battle now. F-him. He deserves it, the tiny low man that he is. He is going to get fired, if it's the last thing I do. I will meet with my CEO, I will show him ALL of my achievements and will prove that my boss has been underhanded and LYING to him, and I will get his butt fired. 
  5. Like
    duck reacted to Rattler6 in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Feeling a little bit better.  Studied and asked my boss when work was going to start up again.  Glad I let myself have a nice lunch and that I studied after I took a nap. 
  6. Like
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Perhaps so. Yes. I'm going to wait a bit until I am less upset so that I can be calm and collected when I meet with my CEO. 
  7. Like
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Omg. I want my boss to get fired. He should be for the shady crap he's pulling. I think he may already be under the microscope. 
  8. Like
    duck reacted to sober4life in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Yeah it's time for you to be boss I think.  If you have that meeting with the CEO and say the right things maybe that could happen.
  9. Like
    duck reacted to adamrparr in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Oh damn.  I grew up on the water in Annapolis.  I loved it & miss it desperately.  I’m now hopelessly landlocked in Memphis.
  10. Like
    duck reacted to adamrparr in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Absolutely.  Hold that meeting & screw him to the wall in that arena.  He’ll now be under the microscope as far as you’re concerned.  It’ll make for some potential tension there, but the power of his wings will have been largely extinguished with respect to you.
  11. Like
    duck reacted to adamrparr in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Ah, thanks!  Yeah, it was great.  Had a fantastic time with Carl, my best friend since the first grade.  
    (We’ve had quite the relationship with Lucasfilm over the years, written a Star Wars filming locations reference book/travel guide.  We’ve had the sort of experience that John Star Wars fanboy would **** for, and yet we consciously eschewed that whole fandom thing many years ago.)
    We’ve got two other book ideas on the back shelf.  (A historical/anecdotal Grateful Dead show site/venue reference book being particularly compelling for me.  Title?  Dead Spots.  C’mon.  Whaddya think?!)
    For now though, we’re doing work on the Alien Archivists project.  Interestingly, we were in Orlando in part of a uap/ufo convention.  We spent some time with Nick Pope who was head of that sort of research in the British Ministries of  Defense for over 20 years.  He also  happens to be the authority on the Rendlesham incident, if you’re interested in that sort of thing.  We’ve got a podcast interview arranged with him over the next few months.  We’re partnering on a research issue concerning the staggering connection between Rendlehsam & Sedona AZ, where Carl & I began some research in September, which’ll be exciting.
    We also spent a full day at the all-in-universe “Star Wars - Galaxy’s Edge” park.  What an experience.  Exceptionally well done.  Good show, Disney.  Too many things to go into here, but it’s obvious that this has become a flagship park down there.  You can tell.  And it’s very easy to understand.  Can’t say enough about it.  Get there if you can.
    (A year or so after the book was published, we were doing 2-3 day guided tours of the nine Star Wars shooting locations in Death Valley CA.  Interestingly, we received an email from none other than the Director of Imagineering at Disney.  Those guys create all the park/real-world experiences.  He asked us to arrange a long weekend out there in Death Valley. Ultimately, funds were pulled at an extremely high level, considering that John himself was Imagineering Director, and that it was pulled out from under HIM.  But obviously that was going to be one hell of an interesting series of conversations/experiences with, once again, Lucasfilm, (now owned by Disney.)  Damned shame it didn’t happen, but that’s how sh!t goes in that business sometimes, as we’ve now experienced a couple of times.)
  12. Like
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    My boss is blatantly undermining me. He made that 100% evident to my face today. He tried to claim that it wasn't my work that raised my client' revenue off the charts and exponentially. He tried to claim it was the work of another team's efforts. So I marched into HR, told her what was up and she suggested that I hold a meeting with my CEO to discuss my achievements (that are getting grossly watered down by my boss). Un-freaking-believable!!!! Can I please just have a boss who is NOT threatened by me??????? PLEASE. 
  13. Sad
    duck reacted to nojoy in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    For the first time, I feel free of the negative thoughts that have always ran around in my heard. I'm sure the thoughts are still there but not as loud. Unfortunately, I now lack motivation to get out of bed, not because of depression but I have nothing negative to focus on and I don't give a hoot if I do anything. 
    And one more thing, I hate snow! East Coast, on Chesapeake Bay and its snowing in November.  I hate snow!
  14. Sad
    duck reacted to Depressedgurl007 in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I wish I can wake up happy. Or at least wake up without seeing my mil’s face. That would be my dream come true.. and it’s sad to say it will only come true if she pass away..so that makes me a bad person 😞 
  15. Like
    duck reacted to JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    The only thing "real" is the universe's constant malevolence towards me. People will say, "you are part of the universe" and that's fine...but I'm a part of the universe in the same sense that a booger is a part of one's body.
  16. Like
    duck reacted to JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I hit ths sad emoji first and then changed it to the normal "like" emoji.
    Numb is a huge improvement relative to my normal anxiety and frustration. I yearn to be numb. Yeah, it also means anhedonia, but that's infinitely better than climbing the walls and waking up in cold sweats.
  17. Like
    duck reacted to JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I think we are on hour apart (I'm on central time). I should check in at the chat more often.
  18. Sad
    duck reacted to sober4life in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Yeah I am who I need to be today.  There is no real me.
  19. Sad
    duck reacted to ladysmurf in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I try to go there sometimes but with the time difference, it's hard to meet up with people.
  20. Like
    duck reacted to samadhiSheol in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Nothing is is it.
  21. Sad
    duck reacted to sober4life in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Well if you see me I'll be smiling and seem happy but it's all a show.  None of it is real.
  22. Sad
    duck reacted to samadhiSheol in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    Dead within.
    As usual.
  23. Sad
    duck reacted to MarkintheDark in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
  24. Sad
    duck reacted to RiverLight in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I woke up upset. It's always about my job. My job really gets to me. Now I'm doing extra work for a client when I am only supposed to spend 7 hours a week on them, for which I'm paid. Any extra work I do for them is FREE. And we're not supposed to do that. Well, this one client keeps calling me about nit picky things and about things that are outside my realm of responsibility. They treat me like I am part of their own staff for crying out loud! Coordinating website updates with their web developer, which is NOT my job! I'm exasperated. I told my boss, and he didn't do a single thing about it. So I told account services, and I can see where it's headed. They're all so afraid of LOSING a client by pushing back and drawing boundaries because they don't freaking do inside sales to keep a pipeline of clients in the works. So if we lose a big client, our jobs are in jeopardy instead! This is no way to run a freaking business! Who the hell doesn't do inside sales for a digital marketing agency!!!!?????? I am beside myself. They run this place ass-backwards. 

    So today I have to go in and tell my boss (more emphatically) that I am working above 7 hours for this one client. And they just gave me another client too. If I have to work more than 7 for the one, I will have no room to take on a new client. And because my job was in jeopardy a few months back, I cannot be an a-hole about it.... I have to be very diplomatic about this and not sound like I am complaining or being negative. But I feel stretched thin, I am starting to get stressed about all the work on my plate, and I don't know how I will manage yet another client who is also a big challenge. ARGH! 
    WTF. Happy Tuesday to me! lol. 
    At least I am talking to a new recruiter today about job possibilities. I hope to be gone from this place by early next year. I need to be....
    OK, JUST BREATHE!!!!!!! 
  25. Sad
    duck reacted to samadhiSheol in How Do You Feel Right Now #11   
    I have never been able to relax.  Both my mind and body is in a constant state of tension. I hate myself for being such a f ucking p ussy. For being so nervous and anxious. My mind is in constant flux. I don't recall a time when it hasn't. I honestly don't know what it feels like not to be aroused and irritable.  I am always restless and impatient, short-tempered and have the attention span of ..wait, I don't have an attention span. Ha ha.
    Don't give me the adhd crap or mindfulness. I'm not and mindfulness isnt the panacea it's sold as. I have seen enough of docs, psychs and other representitives of Quackery Incorporated and I see no point going there anymore.
    I am dissatified with myself and life in general. I pretty much despise myself for being the failure I am.  Now it would seem my health is declining. Aches and pains in my tendons. F uck that too. Nothing the docs do helps.
    I dont care about the joneses, I am just a failure unto myself. I have never known what I want or who I am. Nothing seems relevant to me in this world. I end up in crap jobs and I fail at anything I attempt to do. I have no skills, talents or interests. An indicator of the Dead Within.
    To be honest, I don't truly connect to anyone or anything. There is always something lacking and I believe it's that I don't have (a) soul. I am dead already. I have been dead like that my whole adult life, probably even before that.
    I see nothing changing in the future. I don't even have a future. All I see is emptiness and the travesty that is my life. Perhaps everyone elses lives too. I believe we are f ucked as a species and there is f.a. to do about it.
    Everything points to the fact I should be dead in all ways. And hopefully that will happen soon. This crap stops here.
    Though it won't until I really am dead, will it?
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