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  1. I just want to say a big thank you to you guys. Today was a big milestone for me and it was so hard to get here, sometimes torturous.. You have no idea how much you've helped me with your gentle encourage ment every day. You have never judged me here and it's helped me so much. THANKYOU
    10 points
  2. I really hope so. I want to thank everyone who has been helpful to me all these years. I really hope this therapy does something, because I don't have anything else to try, and I don't know if I want to go on living like this forever....thank you everyone for the support..
    10 points
  3. Sorry for the long absence. My life got turned upside down over the past month...had an NDE in the ambulance on the way to the ER. No fancy bright lights or people beckoning me...just a sense of nothingness. I was in the hospital for 4 days. I don't remember much of the first day but the rest of the stay was OK. Hooked up to a bunch of IVs and on O2. I gotta say this...the hospital had excellent food. I'm not kidding! My brother offered to let me stay with him and his wife while I recovered. I couldn't walk more than 3 steps at first so I took him up on it. We had a great time during the week I stayed there...lots of reminiscing. We had drifted apart because my ex didn't want anything to do with him or the rest of my family. They tried extending olive branches to her but she'd refuse every time. Anyway...I'm feeling quite a bit better now. I can walk around without O2 and my appetite is back. My brother helped me rearrange stuff in the apartment and do some cleaning. It looks like a human being lives here again. I think I bottomed out just as Covid hit me...and now I have desire to climb back up. I've got to find a job RIGHT NOW or I'll be homeless next month. I'm motivated more than I was just a few weeks ago.
    10 points
  4. Doing okay today. I think I may be losing some weight due to my diet and exercise. Have more energy. Hope I can keep the weight off. Hugs and Happy New Year to everyone!
    10 points
  5. Hey @evalynnThinking of you. Hope all is ok.
    9 points
  6. Just working through some mixed feelings as of late, dont know if i actually care or if I'm just trying to put up a front to get left alone, i know how i want to feel but just cant figure out the truth
    9 points
  7. I brushed out my what I call depression hair and nice and clean for once
    9 points
  8. I had another particularly useless visit with my therapist this week, not her fault really…. I need somebody to physically motivate me for half of the stuff that she recommends. I tried explaining that an existential search for my ‘Purpose of Existance’ POE, was failing. i need more than go tor a brisk walk, take a shower….. I watched my kids xbox update for an hour or so and felt I had accomplished more
    9 points
  9. I’m sorry ur going through this. The fact of life is not that you’re not important. No one is. Everyone only cares for themselves and prioritise their own lives. I always end up having to take care of my own self. I’m not brave enough to seek help now, but when I do, I have the same mindset as you, cos Im afraid of being let down, I tell myself I’m not important. I’m not really helping you I think… just saying I kinda know how u feel I guess. Learning to FLY is hard. First Love Yourself. Hope u get the help u need eventually. Hang in there!
    9 points
  10. Wishing everyone a good day. I know it is very difficult for all. HUGS
    9 points
  11. Well I'm back!
    9 points
  12. Thought i was the only one who talked to myself, i get answers sometimes too
    9 points
  13. Finally I'm back home so I can go back to talking to myself in a growly voice and making owl noises the rest of the day.
    9 points
  14. I love that you have a plan and are making progress to make your life better for yourself. I know it isn't easy to get to the point of deciding to make a change. Change can be scary, even when you know it's in your best interest. Good on you!
    9 points
  15. Feel much older than I am.. Plenty of older people have more of a life than me Anyway, think I'm about ready to try and change that. Step 1: Escaping the clutches of narcissistic mom. Progress: Working on it Better than nothing I suppose
    9 points
  16. I've actually been resting today. I don't do this nearly as often as I need to these days. It's not overrated, this kicking back business It's been pj's all the way for me today
    9 points
  17. I did a decent amount of work today for a Monday. Also, this past weekend, I decided to speak up and went off on some things that were bothering me. It felt kind of good to do that. Not sure if it will do any good in the long run or if it will help me to be in a better place with things but it is better than keeping all of this stuff bottled up inside.
    9 points
  18. @monicott17 Hi monicott. Sorry you had an uncomfortable experience today. It definitely sounds like it would be worthwhile to discuss this with your therapist. She may be able to give you some coping mechanisms I do have to say that yip, I agree, people on the whole are pretty strange and not all that welcoming a lot of the time. I empathise.
    9 points
  19. I've long believed that we were heading into very difficult times.... I just always sort of felt that way. Of course we've had plenty of warning about climate change but I've also heard warnings about the big fight between power and freedom, light and dark, whatever, intensifying at this time. Seems true. We have more darkness emerging in the world but also more light Focus on the light guys.. It helps everyone you knowSend love and peace to everyone you meet
    9 points
  20. @sober4life thank God someone invented the television to keep us company and the internet to control our brains
    9 points
  21. glad you've recovered, was wondering where you got to, actually i was hoping you were feeling better mentally and were too busy enjoying life to log on much, hoping you find a job relatively easily, i mean lots of places are looking for help, a lot of service oriented jobs that don't pay too well but others are out there
    9 points
  22. There is a point in life where you get older and the world doesn't make sense to you anymore. That's where I'm at. I want no part of today's world. I wake up feeling like I'm on another planet every day. I saw on tv where a robot could stand in for kids when they get sick so they aren't counted as absent. That's what I want a robot to stand in for me for all of life really and I don't even care if the robot tells me what happens. I don't even care if he does things right. I just want no part of this anymore.
    9 points
  23. I am watching Magnum PI. This is the remake. I like it. I was feeling Nauseous today. Could be side effects from my medication Ozempic. Snowing again today. It looks beautiful.
    9 points
  24. A little nervous but I pushed myself to do stuff i have been avoiding for weeks/months now.......hope everyone is doing well
    9 points
  25. Well chances are I would say I'm just as crazy as I was when I was in school. If I showed up it would take a manic episode to get me there and who knows what I would say to them. I'm honestly at this point not afraid to face any of them and I don't even remember their names. I guess that's another big accomplishment not fearing the people from high school anymore. Maybe I'll show up drunk. Maybe the oh no I forgot to wear pants today dream will be a reality.
    9 points
  26. Hi everyone. Well, my final exam went well, and I don't know how I did it, but after 3 years, I reached 50% of the whole course, so I'm an "advanced" student now. I left soul, tears, health, mental health in the way, and lived with the minimum for the last 2 years. Time to get a job, and to work on myself, enough maths for now. I'm trying to reach out people. I'll go to a kind of (sports?) encounter tomorrow with a group of unknown students. Luckily for me, the only 2 friends (actually it's just one friend and I've seen once the other guy) I have here will come with me, so yeah, I won't be that weird that knows no-one. I've failed many times going to a place where I know noone, many times I just turned back at the gates of the event. Let's see how it goes.
    9 points
  27. I'm not sure how to explain how I feel at this moment. I feel blah. I'm just watching tennis as a deterrence to dealing with the blah blah blah blah feeling.
    9 points
  28. I got five.. 1. We need you here. 2. You are lovely and make a positive contribution to the world. 3. To prove them wrong. 4. For a chance at the good stuff. 5. So that you don't have to repeat this earth school again
    9 points
  29. Both of our remote car starters stopped working a month ago. After spending hours and hours online watching videos and reading manuals I was able to reprogram one car. There seems to be a hardware issue with the second car. We need it because our winters are brutal. I managed a short walk this evening. I would have liked to walk more but it is midnight here and windy and cold.
    9 points
  30. We all make those mistakes, you're not alone
    8 points
  31. Yeah, we have those. I mean my sister will most likely feed me but I can't take the piss. If I want to access a food bank I will have to get in touch with some sort of authority I'm sure I will survive. Petrol wise though, I'm not gonna be driving too much, that's for sure.
    8 points
  32. I'm sorry Cherryapplez, I hope you get a break from the bad thoughts.
    8 points
  33. Scared I would be too, and I often am. When I think about it hard enough I realise I should not be scared, that is the depression and schizophrenia talking. Try to do small things, without overwhelming yourself. Dont go straight for the shower, start by brushing your teeth, do the smallest things first and be happy you achieved that. My objective is a daily effort to complete three things, and to be gratefulyou could do them. There are days when brushing my teeth counted as one item off the list. Insure can relate to how you are feeling right now, hope this hug helps and that the doctor can prescribe you something soon.
    8 points
  34. Tired. G'nite all
    8 points
  35. I have Schizophrenia mayor depressive disorder borderline personality disorder and ptsd but I think am bipolar also
    8 points
  36. Sorry cherry, if and when you want to talk about it or not, we're here, take care of yourself
    8 points
  37. Im picking up the key for my flat and moving in tomorrow and I am so excited to be living on my own
    8 points
  38. My therapist had suggested for us to create good better memories with mil so that we can try to slowly remove all the old bad memories we had. So. Today the four of us are going to the zoo. God knows what will happen cos family field trips have had their worst moments too. Hope everyone has a good today, or at least a bit better than yesterday.
    8 points
  39. Hey guys, I deleted the number in narc mom's phone. I felt guilty doing it, but she was stealing it in the first place. It wasn't hers to have. I can rest a bit easier now that I know she can't call the owner if she feels like it. She seems to have piped down about everything now so I guess she is accepting it in her twisted way. It will likely take a while for her to be ok with it and I guess we won't be talking about it for a good while. She'll probably always have a snarky comment about it Anyway, all is still on track for me thankfully and I'm going to start with the beginning of the never ending admin tomorrow. I have a form to send off. G'nite friends, wishing a good night's sleep for everyone
    8 points
  40. U will figure it out, u will find it somewhere. Even if u can’t find hope right now, we will be here for u until u do.
    8 points
  41. Good morning duck, have a great day
    8 points
  42. That sounds daunting indeed for both. I'm sorry you're going through this. Sending encouraging thoughts.
    8 points
  43. Sorry to hear, were in the same situation it seems, just got xray results from last week, calcific tendonosis ( whatever that is ) and arthritis, seeme therapy if i go but i doubt it, I'll probably just take it easy if i can, nsaid helps
    8 points
  44. Had my church service over the phone with my small fam. Didn't know it is Palm Sunday, but so nice one of my pastor's brought me a palm leaf. Nice to be thought of, ya know? Finishing up some writing. Got bad news in the mail on Friday-- I'm going to choose to not care, trying not to worry. I do pray every morning now, I'm scared not to. I send love to everyone. I remember when I first logged on, so many MANY kind people. Thank you for making me feel, know, I'm not alone.
    8 points
  45. Good to see a couple of positive posts. I love it when we get good days My day was sortof OK. That's pretty good with me. There was some stress with family but I just about managed it. I was pleased that I managed to get a shower in. I often find it such a struggle to get through. I made a conscious effort to dial down the OCD in there today and it helped a lot
    8 points
  46. Your situation sounds quite toxic. Wish we could get you away from the anguish caused by your sister. A deserted island sounds great!
    8 points
  47. I wish you all the strength to battle that entire situation and I am positive you will have that mastered some day. You seem like you can do it. But the irritable part I sadly can relate to and do not know how to handle it either. It goes by the day. Some are fine some are bad. It is not that I feel irritated towards others - just myself and the situation I am battling for almost 2 years now. But sometimes there is a light and I latch on to the rays and cling on. ( I know it is just a said "thing" but that is what it feels like ). It makes me smile internally and create hope and faith for the next day.But the next "glitch" ...I find myself at square one. .. that is what sucks... every time
    8 points
  48. Hi guys, just a quick one while I have a minute.... Hope everyone is doing ok and better than I am.... I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired today.... At least I can have a moan here. I can't really anywhere else...... Please god, let this current breakdown eff off as soon as poss Have the best day possible everyone
    8 points
  49. For sleep I tried counting sheep jumping a fence. I visualize that of course, otherwise I'd just be counting. Just as I began to nod off, a fracas broke out among them. All were huddled one one side of the fence, none jumping. Instead they were arguing about who should jump first. Ewes felt they should leap first. The rams claimed they had always gone first, and saw no reason to change the order. Some bleated that the aged should go, then the lambs, then ewes. There were sheep of color who claimed they had always been forced to jump last, and they were way tired of it. I don't know where I get thoughts like that, but they don't help me sleep. Bulgakov
    8 points
  50. Thank you. Beating myself up takes too much energy, so I'm trying not to do that, but also trying not to waste too much energy in other ways. A friend who went through a crisis a few years ago talked about how carefully she guarded her time and energy then. It sounded very kind to herself, actually. That's my goal, to spend it wisely as much as I can. Got a betterhelp appt tomorrow. Still feeling it out, since the first appts have some formalities. I can't keep up the cost a long time, but it's a worth a try right now. They do have income-based discounts, if that might make it more accessible for you? I think the cost is also less if you don't sign up for video calls, though I really wanted the face-to-face part at least right now.
    8 points
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