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  1. 12 points
    MaepleSyrup

    Valentines Day

    I wanted to tell you all Happy Valentine's Day. I know some of us (including myself) are single or you may not have someone to wish you a good holiday. So I'd like to tell you all Happy Valentine's Day and you are all amazing for being here and helping each other. I'm also glad for those to have reached out to this wonderful forum 🙂 I wish you all a grand day!
  2. 11 points
    I'm starting a much needed vacation. I'm not going anywhere. I'm resting. I don't have to work again until Tuesday.
  3. 11 points
    gandolfication

    What A Weekend

    I'm 42. One of 5 children, who have been disbursed around the world the last 20 years, with one sister serving in China as a missionary the last 15. We aren't able to see each other often, but we all did this weekend, along with our mother, step dad, and for the first time, all 17 of the cousins. My oldest brother, arranged for all of us to attend memorial day weekend at camp Barakel in Michigan's National Forrest, where all of us grew up going for 1-2 weeks each summer, and then would volunteer as counselors and suer staff in college and beyond, going back to my mother, and her father, who helped start the camp. There are a lot of fun things to do there and the kids had a blast. We really hadn't had a vacation in probably 10 - 15 years. It's cabin-camping. I had finished a legal brief till 3am and then packed and help drive the 7 hours to get there. Interaction with my wife is still frayed and painful...and for a lot of the weekend, I just took the kids around to activities with family, met old friends, etc. Happily my urge to engage in the important questions was quelled, perhaps my my brother's adroit handling of the chapel services. He's very good in his field. His approach to the faith is simultaneously as high brow and practical as it gets. I learned this over the years as I would debate with him, and at some.point I realized he was the only person I knew who could best me....that is teach me with a deeper insight into life, death, our nature, truth, epistology, logic, the big questions, etc. (This is the purpose of debate, argumentation...to sharpen one another and learn). And it is wonderfully gratifying to seem doing so well and in this elemement. Barakel means, where good has blessed. Even though my relationship with "The Faith" is still painful, the live piano music, rustic would chapel, and familiar faces are heartwarming. One of them was a Yoda-like mentor, and he still runs the camp, going on I think 40 years. An oracle. Brilliant, thoughtful, conscientious, large-minded and hearted. And the grounds are as tranquil as it gets, with Sheer Lake centering the entire campgrounds like some mystical gem. My youngest brother was our chapel speaker this week, he cristened a professor of theology a few years ago after completing his doctorate and other divinity defrees at 3 of the world's top institutions, ending at Cambridge University. I was excited to see everyone, and it was great, and to hear him speak, preach, whatever. And my discomfort subsided...I've been working on it anyway. He's smarter than me, a true intellectual. He was born to teach. He took on the most difficult questions... literally...having the adults, a diverse mix of lifetime bible students, and some not, put in questions all weekend, which he then gave his best expert answers to in his penultimate talk. And wow people brought--and he selected--tough questions. He answered a couple of mine. I don't still agree with everything he says, but I will say he makes imaculate arguments. Driving, compelling, subtle, compassionate, humble.... the way good intellectuals should always be.... Genuinely interested in learning the enlightenment of truth, without fear or sacred red cows. I know that sound unlikely for a Christian preaching the Gospel. Here was one that I I think he has probably said to me before, but I will remember: are you willing to doubt your doubt? Are your questions borne of real wonder? Or with wat attitude of heart are they asked? Would more information really persuade you (hint it rarely does with people). This came after praising and embracing, and just before answering some of the toughest seeming contradictions of the faith, of doubters like me. A couple of the questions were mine. His answers were not unexpected, and not comforting, but they trouble the waters in the way that activists always have. If I were ever to believe again in a literal way, it would be because of these few people who demonstrated a kind of peace that passes understanding. It's still painful for me, much more than a heritage lost. The belief is pervasive of every fragment and shard of life. It is so large and hopeful. And it inevitably is challenging to me. Was I wrong then, after all? Or now? Is there really a supreme love, personally interactive and powerful, who redeems all things...an unconditional love that would change everything. Everything. It's the strongest bond on Earth or heaven, even above other mere-human connections. It is a sad thing that I do not share it any more. But the weekend was really good, and I am thankful.
  4. 11 points
    Happy for once. There are still so many things out of place, I could go on and on. But going through what I just went through.. I would have never thought I'd be here, sitting at my desk again, working. Just having something to work towards fills me with so much hope. Even if it doesn't work out like everything else I'm just glad that in this moment in time I have something to work towards. I'm going to enjoy it whilst it lasts and not think about what will come after.
  5. 10 points
    PraiseBrownies

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Halloween gets less joyful as you grow older. I stayed in and did homework. Nobody came to the house for candy because it was cold and my neighborhood is kinda off and away from any decent places. Not the worst thing, though. Means I got a bowl of candy to eat over the next weeks and a week's worth of college work done. I consider it a win.
  6. 10 points
    Floor2017

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    well, my day didn't start off to good today. I left my pain medicine and I'm hurting really bad and of course that is affecting my thought process. But, about a hour later my daughter brought me my bag and bought me breakfast. It really cheered me up and now I am looking for things to improve from that point on in my day.
  7. 10 points
    Rattler6

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Irritated about being off of work for so long. Sad at being lonely, but I am trying to talk to more people. Glad I got groceries and did my cleaning today. Glad that I went over some stuff for work.
  8. 10 points
    Soarsie18

    Mental illness = cute and trendy

    One of the worst things about mental illness is that people generally don't understand it. Yes, awareness of mental illness has improved massively over the years. But there are still tv shows, media posts and films that glamourise and celebrate it. If they really want to support people who are suffering from mental illness, they should make films, or tv programmes actually showing what it's like. How debilitating it is. They should show mental illness from the perspective of the person who is suffering from it. Because they are the only ones who understand it fully. If people could actually see, and feel what it's like to live with a mental illness they wouldn't undermine it. They wouldn't make comments like 'man up', it'll pass' or 'toughen up'. And people who were actually suffering would feel more comfortable seeking help, they wouldn't have to worry whether or not they'd be taken seriously. For me, mental illness has been harder to live with than any physical illness i've suffered from. People need to understand that. Mental and physical illness should be equal. Equal accessibility of treatments, and equal in that they are both taken seriously. And even now after opening up to my family and friends about how i've been, I still don't feel that they understand fully how hellish it's been.
  9. 9 points
    SoulSurvivor

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    I had a pizza party too... but just on my couch
  10. 9 points
    MaepleSyrup

    Online vs. Real Life

    Aw, I just noticed it’s been over a year since I’ve joined. So happy I have. Things have changed a lot, and I’m glad I can still come here freely, despite the ups and downs. Such an odd place for this, but thank you for the wonderful year. Especially @Ratvan and @MarkintheDark You both are my best lads here. Don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys!
  11. 9 points
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I was very worried about you. Seeing you back here and doing well makes me very happy!
  12. 9 points
    Depressedgurl007

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I’m on my way to work and I’m getting kinda nervous cos today is my supposed last day and I’m doing final handover.
  13. 9 points
    Bulgakov

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Thanks to my incessant reading of DF threads, I know that 3 a.m. starts the "witching" hour. I looked on Wikipedia, and it said that in medieval times, women caught out at this time, without good reason, could be executed on the spot. Funny how rituals bind history. Women out late at night, currently, are suspect in some Muslim countries. Like Rattler, I worked as a network admin until my early retirement. Used to sub contract some of grunt work and number crunching at a CPA place I monitored, and so we used to do business with a company in India for that. Some times, the work went undone overnight, as the ladies in charge couldn't go out after dark, on the streets. That was fairly recent, about ten years ago. It does make you wonder though . . . why any female would need to go out alone, at 3 a.m.? Just kidding, I'll get back in line. Bulgakov the Male
  14. 9 points
    RiverLight

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    @iWantRope I’d like you to know that since that breakdown, I worked my butt off and raised my salary from 35k to 90k in five years. I’ve earned my Senior title. Despite some anxiety I still have, I’m more than equipped to handle a Senior Director role at this stage in my life. I deserve it, and I’ve worked hard to get there. I am fully qualified for the position and have been at a strategic leadership level for many years. It’s not in the cards for me to go backwards. I’m thriving and am doing very well.
  15. 9 points
    This year has been the hardest year of my life. I'm finally beginning to feel strong again. I'm not going to **** myself this year or any year. It's sad and scary how long it takes you to say I'm going to survive this. It's time for me to get a good life in this world and make mom proud.
  16. 9 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Went to mental health doctor today didn’t realize how much better I have been doing crazy as that sounds but hey I’ll take it 🙂
  17. 9 points
    roadking02

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Left this morning on my Triumph and headed for Virginia. Finally stopped at a motel to rest. Gonna be back Wednesday probably since I have to work next weekend. As far as states go I started in Kentucky and was in and out of Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina. Not really going anywhere specifically, just away.
  18. 9 points
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    I'm beginning to feel strong again because I finally know the way out of this hell. I'm right up to the fence that's always been blocking everything my whole life from the ground to the sky. I can see everything I want through that fence but this time there is a door and I'm going through it!
  19. 9 points
    nojoy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Why won't it work out? Don't believe everything your depression tells you. Life can be scary. I'm old and I'm still scared of life. One day at a time, one baby step at a time and breathe when the fear (depression) tries to take over. You are strong!
  20. 9 points
    Had a decent day, even if it was a struggle to stay in the moment. Did what I could to honor my dad, who's been gone for almost 34 years. I was able to stick a toe in the past, but decided not to wade in. Next month's surgery is on my mind and it's been hard to detour around it, particularly how/if the post-op pain will be managed. Nevertheless, enjoyed things like the rain all day that kept Spot inside curled up with me whenever/wherever he could.
  21. 9 points
    You're describing the thought processes uncomfortably familiar to most of us. That's to say, it's particularly difficult for many of us to find the middle ground in our heads. It's a daily issue for me. It's such a relief to have good days, my inclination is to put on the rose colored glasses. And bad days are, well, REALLY bad. Best I've been able to do is to at least have some awareness of my thoughts and when it's my depression speaking. tbh, that may not necessarily help what I'm FEELING at the moment. I sometimes have to content myself with just being aware of the thoughts. Quite often the thoughts have to do with the past or the future, too. Believe me, I go through plenty of that bounce. Lots of material. idk if this is helpful - it's barely PG - but I heard a saying, "One foot in yesterday, one foot in tomorrow, p*ss all over today."
  22. 9 points
    At this point half my personality is just me being conflicted. My head will flip back and forth from "my life sucks" and "I'm so blessed." Or it'll flip between "my parents are abusive i have to leave soon" to "what if i never leave what if they're not as bad as i think" I guess it's good that lots of people help snap me back to reality. The reality that it's tough and confusing and conflicting but I'm going to make it through okay. Right?
  23. 9 points
    I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm getting one of the dead trees cut down in my yard today and I'm getting 2 more dead trees cut down next week. The other 10 dead trees I'm cutting myself. Yes I'm saying this as someone that has never used a chainsaw but there's a time to learn how to do everything. I could pay thousands to get the trees cut up or buy a cheap chainsaw and do it myself. The 3 I'm getting cut down are the most dangerous that I need help with and people are doing it for free because I agreed to help them with other work at their house. So what could cost thousands of dollars to do will only cost the amount of a chainsaw and gas which is so much better than it could have been.
  24. 9 points
    Floor2017

    New Beginnings

    Well, I woke up and decided that I can not live any longer in the condition that I am in. I am determine to fight and take my life back. I have been held down to long and I am not going to remain there. I already been down, so at this point I don't have anything else left but, to come up. I cannot do any worse than I have already done, so I choose to live today and to begin my new life and to make the best of a bad situation. Hang in there all of my friends around the world.
  25. 9 points
    Tears_Always

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    What is a lemon cat? Every animal I have ever met is special and has something to give.
  26. 9 points
    samadhiSheol

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Not too bad.
  27. 9 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    A li'l rough startup this morning physically. But today, amazingly, is one where I have zip on my plate. No obligations. No people pushing their way into my life. Nothing. Whatta relief!
  28. 9 points
    evalynn

    *Favorite Quotes* 8-]]

    The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. - Mark Twain
  29. 9 points
    Floor2017

    Make It Go Away

    I can remember when one of my twins got sick almost 18 years ago and one of them said daddy make this sickness go away. I know so many of us out there wish mental illness would just go away. Hang in there my brothers and sisters out there until a better day come.
  30. 9 points
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    I'm doing pretty good. I just realized I will be sober a year and a half the day before my birthday. Yes of course my brain's thought is you should have a big celebration and I will just not the kind my brain wants.
  31. 9 points
    MaepleSyrup

    Hey again.

    I love you all and I love this forum. I've received a lot of help and have gave some help too. You all are amazing for still being here.
  32. 8 points
    gandolfication

    Today 3

    Hey thanks everyone (and sorry I guess too). I really didn't mean to alarm anyone. I'm just having trouble coping. With everything. Work. Home. $. Emotions. Relationships. Anxiety I'm struggling to deal with what seems like every moment. Despair. Loss of hope. Everything, everyone here is intimately familiar with. I don't really think I have means for wherewithal to take any final action...don't really have much of a plan right now either. I don't have means around the house. At work, I'm not sure if or how I can access the roof. I feel like it. I want to. But I don't think I am close. I wish I were. I really wish I were. I did see that the previous Today 2 thread was suspended, closed for further replies, I presume because there was concern. Apologies again, I really didn't intend that. I was just expressing the way I felt and feel. Which is awful. No one here needs it explained - you all know. (because this is a new thread, I'm cc'ing those of you I can think of now from the old one) Anyway, thank you all. I got a number of messages, and even calls - and thank you all - I tried to respond to everyone who did. If I missed anyone, please know how deeply I appreciate your concern and empathy. I have been having trouble managing everything lately, and in a spiral I'm trying to get some control of. Thank you -g @uncertain1, @LonelyHiker, @Sophy, @JD4010
  33. 8 points
    Floor2017

    You can do it

    For everyone, who has been having some really tough times trying to overcome the set backs in your life. It is doable but you have to gradually piece your life back by inch by inch until you can be at a place that you can tolerate on your own terms and nobody else’s. I know because I’m having to piece my life back together inch by inch until I can become the person that I am comfortable with being as I live from day to day. It can be accomplished but you will have to fight your mind and your body to overcome the lack of will power you might be experiencing right now. I call it the inner strength that lies within you that all of us possess in our heart. Be blessed my friends and I hope nothing but the best for all of you.
  34. 8 points
    sober4life

    Dave

    I don't think he would want his threads to be closed. His posts have helped many people and they will continue to help people.
  35. 8 points
    The mouse doesn't even try to be sneaky. He just comes and goes as he pleases. He jumps up on the couch and watches tv with me. I like my new pet.
  36. 8 points
    Nightjar

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    OK, let me see..... Had a chill out session this morning which was much appreciated even though it seems impossible for me to ever relax completely. Played with mini lion who was literally climbing the walls with boredom because she didn't have her prompt play time in the morning. Showered. Managed to enjoy it for a change as was more relaxed after chill out time. Went shopping. Sorted some recycling, put out some rubbish. Evening DF session. Not a massively productive day but beneficial to my mood. It felt really nice to give myself a break and go easy on myself. Of course I have a to do list as long as my arm but I can honestly say today that I don't care, I feel better for relaxing.
  37. 8 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Not completely unexpected reaction to my meds this morning that I've learned from experience can subside when I get even a small cup of coffee in me. Pulling myself together was important to me personally. About like a regular photo assignment, I'd committed to a photographer friend to catch professional shots of his flight's arrival from Dubai this morning for his family's record of the trip. It was bittersweet for them. His son's first visit to South Africa, but it was also to scatter Grandad's ashes.
  38. 8 points
    Doing better midday - no anxiety at the moment - having grabbed a couple hours and in the Big Nest with my arm curled around Spot (who'd taken possession of it). I've already knocked off a call to change Mom's pension to her primary bank and even made an appointment for a haircut. Out for groceries and I'm done. Giving a friend a ride to the airport early tomorrow...a good excuse for some dawn photography.
  39. 8 points
    PraiseBrownies

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Pretty decent. Saw Avengers Endgame for the second time. Had some good food today. I'm feeling a little nauseous since I get carsick but it'll pass. I get to eat sushi tomorrow too, it's my favorite. I'm just burned out from being outside and energetic for so long, but I don't feel bad by any means.
  40. 8 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Relatively decent weekend and, frankly, all the storms helped. A break from the unrelenting heat, though not the humidity. On a whim, even trotted out Saturday evening for some unusual nighttime shots. Helped that the shots got positive reactions from some of my colleagues on social media. Usually, I'm the one admiring THEIR work. Had a bit of a tiff with my anxiety this morning that eventually subsided. For now, I'm often able to put aside waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I sure as hell know it's there, lurking. A little nervous about my appointment with the specialist Tues afternoon.
  41. 8 points
    Feel pretty good today. :)
  42. 8 points
    Ratvan

    What made you smile today? :)

    Walked onto a building site to see that one of the guys had brought his dog to work. Complete with Hi Viz and Mini Bump Cap
  43. 8 points
    ladysmurf

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    pushed myself to go out for a 20 minute walk, the sun is out so not bad .. hope everyone is doing OK
  44. 8 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Doing good but my head hurts a little
  45. 8 points
    jayb1233

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    I am grateful and glad I joined www.depressionforums.org. Sometimes I feel like no one else can be experiencing "exactly" what I am, or what I have so it makes me believe no one would understand so why explain. Right? Wrong, I have learned now that I can come here and interact with people who know exactly how I feel, been through what I have been through and genuinely understand. I am able to vent, get great advice, and realize (other than a therapist telling me) that I am not alone in this. It gives me hope and makes me feel good that so many people are here supporting one another! It may sound cliche but it is how I feel. Thank you, all of you!!
  46. 8 points
    evalynn

    The Post Anything Thread #3

    “I don’t feel very much like Pooh today," said Pooh. "There there," said Piglet. "I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  47. 8 points
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Ditto. Kitties in my case because I'm in an apartment building. I brought home two senior cats who are a "bonded pair". They had been surrendered to the humane society at age 8 for some reason. I saw them and thought, "nobody is going to want a couple of older cats that can't be separated." Well, nobody but me. They've been my roommates for four years now and we have a blast. I love 'em!
  48. 8 points
    Paris43

    Valentines Day

    I wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!! Everyone should try to do one thing for themselves today that makes them smile or feel a little better--we all deserve to have a special moment for ourselves...But, then again, I don't think we need a special day for that--we should try to do a little something special for ourselves on a regular basis!! Anyhow, I am babbling again, have a pleasant day everyone...8-]]]
  49. 8 points
    sober4life

    Valentines Day

    Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Please don't let this day get you down. Go out and do whatever makes you happy today.❤️
  50. 8 points
    Paris43

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    All I can say is today is lots better than yesterday--Today I feel more relaxed, thank goodness--8-]]
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