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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/15/2019 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    Shirley Temple is on this morning. Maybe I should start acting like her and just start singing and dancing out of nowhere. Maybe I should pretend this life is a musical from now on. Everyone already thinks I'm nuts so why not?
  2. 3 points
    ladysmurf

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    tired, but i am going to try to go out for a while.........have a good weekend everyone
  3. 3 points
    sober4life

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    I ordered winter tires. It's hard buying tires for a car I'm not sure will make it to spring.
  4. 3 points
    Bulgakov

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Song: "Riding that train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better, watch your speed!" from Grateful Dead, "Working Man's Dead" album. I know E is not high on cocaine, thanks. The "train" analogy does get around though. Bulgakov
  5. 2 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Am anxious but fine
  6. 2 points
    hocico

    News of the Weird

    WARNING CONTAINS CLOWNS New Zealand: Man brings clown to redundancy meeting The human resources department at FCB New Zealand encouraged him to bring a "support person" to help cushion the blow, an option that is legally required in New Zealand. But rather than bring a family member, a friend or even a pet, the part-time stand-up comedian decided to splash out NZ$200 (£100) on a clown called "Joe". "Joe" accompanied Josh for the redundancy meeting, where the clown made balloon animals, although he had to be told to stop a few times as it was difficult to hear above the screeching of plastic. 😂 "Boy, oh, boy, are they noisy," Josh said. When Josh was finally delivered the hammer blow that he was to lose his job, the clown reacted accordingly. "He nodded his head along when I received the bad news as if he was also receiving the bad news," Josh said "Professionalism at its finest, really." Josh said he'd highly recommend hiring a clown as support for any suspected redundancy meeting. Perhaps he can squirt your soon to be ex boss with some water
  7. 2 points
    I want to lay out some stuff just to vent a bit. That is, I'm NOT asking for advice, well-intentioned as it may be. As usual in this thread, it's kinda candid. I guess I can write b/c I've just had 12+ hours with no anxiety attacks. I have just enough coming in/available to make my move when the lease is up, maybe even carry me for a couple months. I've been scraping and juggling to usually keep four figures in my accounts. Frankly, I haven't been putting a lot of energy into even considering the possibility. My energies have gone towards putting my affairs in order. And I've had some successes, though I'm far from finished. Mostly, they've left me overwhelmed this month to the point I struggle to accomplish anything. The peak of hurricane season hasn't helped...nor has losing my neighbor David or having crossed the awful threshold of living longer than Dad. What scares me, aside from exiting, is whether I can medically or emotionally handle another move after only 2½ years. My health continues to decline. My previous move was after 7 years in a modest, but for me, almost idyllic setting. The stress brought on a gall bladder attack within a month that put me in the hospital for emergency surgery. In a broader sense, that's what major stressors do to me. When I lost Ricky, my feline companion of 16½ years in 2013, I had a heart attack a month later with two stents placed. When Mom had her MI a year ago and I was forced to become her caregiver, plus straighten out her financials and legals b/c of her dementia, it put me in the hospital again with a COPD attack within six weeks...and a very slow recovery of almost two months. I'm also fighting an uncaring clinic/service organization that's been blowing me off for months. I need their assistance and they ignore me. I'm older than most of their clients...or staff. Nor have my initial searches come up with anything close to acceptable as a new home. I just want a place that's affordable, safe, quiet and relatively comfortable for a (mostly-retired) guy in his 60s. I've received a couple of responses from a neighborhood site. One's way too expensive and not at all quiet (though I like the owner), the other, idk yet. I don't even know if it's in the same area I've lived the past 30 years. I'd like to go my usual route this week and drive though nearby neighborhoods to see if, as I did here, I can find something. David, my former landlord, was a godsend. His presence saved me. I also recognize I've been fragile enough the past few months that it doesn't take much to completely throw me off my game. Thanks for listening.
  8. 2 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    fwiw and from what I've read of your posts, it sounds like you're doing an amazing job under the circumstances...and, make no mistake, it IS a job. From my limited perspective, your family knows of your struggles and you have friends who care for you, even if they don't know the whole story. I suppose, as with most relationships, it's a matter of degrees. Sounds to me like you recognize that. I'm quite similar on what's "appropriate," as much as I don't like the restriction. I'm kinda facing that situation at the moment with a couple closer friends who've been concerned. I wanna dump the whole story on 'em. Yeah, def pay attention to the exhaustion part. In my experience it's quite real and, imo, needs to be respected. When all this is over, you gonna have some recharge time? ...and Happy Bday!
  9. 2 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Took some effort, as noted this morning, but got out this afternoon with four - count 'em - of my friends I hadn't seen in weeks to do some shooting. 📷 And a pleasant breeze from TS Humberto well offshore even made the temps tolerable. Three Tylenol probably helped, too. We'll see if I can hold on to this. Either way, glad for the relief.
  10. 2 points
    John_in_SF

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    How well I know that 3 am wakeup call! I slept decently last night; had some mini anxiety attacks in the wee hours but not the usual crushing depression toward sunrise.
  11. 2 points
    MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Kitty is my barometer when I'm doing badly. He knows I'm suffering. For the past several hours he's been checking up on me constantly, under foot a lot, and talking considerably more than usual. In his feline way, he's making sure I'm not alone.
  12. 2 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I hope you feel better soon you deserve to feel good
  13. 2 points
    Lady Mozzer

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    My Mom and I went to look at some furniture and she found some dining room chairs she liked and she`s thinking about getting them. We then went to Walmart and picked up some groceries then picked up some food for a very late lunch.
  14. 2 points
    Bulgakov

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Thanks to my incessant reading of DF threads, I know that 3 a.m. starts the "witching" hour. I looked on Wikipedia, and it said that in medieval times, women caught out at this time, without good reason, could be executed on the spot. Funny how rituals bind history. Women out late at night, currently, are suspect in some Muslim countries. Like Rattler, I worked as a network admin until my early retirement. Used to sub contract some of grunt work and number crunching at a CPA place I monitored, and so we used to do business with a company in India for that. Some times, the work went undone overnight, as the ladies in charge couldn't go out after dark, on the streets. That was fairly recent, about ten years ago. It does make you wonder though . . . why any female would need to go out alone, at 3 a.m.? Just kidding, I'll get back in line. Bulgakov the Male
  15. 2 points
    evalynn

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    The past 24 hours or so have been zig-zaggy. Woke up at 3 am and couldn't fall back asleep. I got a lot of great birthday greetings via text and Facebook and here that made me smile. But by the time we went out for lunch I was exhausted, but I was determined to enjoy the day. We went up the street to Carrabas, and I had delicious prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, Italian salad, and shrimp fettuccine. Then we came home and I got a nap in before my hair appointment. Now at the salon, the stylist at the register said she checked me in but apparently she never told my stylist I was there. 28 minutes passed and I was gearing up to say something when my stylist came up front and saw me. She was shocked and pissed that no one had informed her! She kept apologizing, but it wasn't her fault; I should have been more assertive and had the receptionist check in the back but she saw me sitting there and never offered to. Anyway, the rest of the appointment went fine and now my hair is nice and smooth and straight and trimmed. (Oh! Turns out the put me down for color treatment too, which is NOT what I said on the phone. What is up with these receptionists? 🙄) My husband met me at the salon and we went to the bar afterward for a couple drinks and snacks (Midori Sour and Pineapple Sangria for me, and mediocre crab cakes) and then back to the house. I fell asleep at a decent hour, but now I've been up again since 3 something again. I guess this is my new schedule.
  16. 2 points
    evalynn

    News of the Weird

    Breathtaking photos show 'purple sunset' gracing Florida skies in wake of Hurricane Dorian ALEX LASKER, AOL.COM Sep 5th 2019 2:45PM As Hurricane Dorian traveled up the eastern coast of the United States, it left behind at least one pleasant effect in its trail of destruction. Skies above multiple cities in Florida glowed a lovely purple on Wednesday night as the storm passed by the state, largely sparing it after ravaging the Bahamas for days. Residents of the sunshine state have since shared mesmerizing photos of the phenomenon on social media. Amy Pope-Latham, LCSW @coastalBtherapy Purple skies after #Dorian passed by Jacksonville today. Do you think there’s a chance Dorian was a fan of Prince? This type of celestial spectacle happens when low-level clouds, such as the ones caused by Hurricane Dorian, distort ultraviolet light from the sun as it sets, allowing cameras and our eyes to pick up on the typically unseen violet color, according to First Coast News storm expert Steve Fundaro, who compared the effect to "looking through a filter." "You're seeing a sunset normally, but you have low clouds underneath from the hurricane that are distorting the [normal sunset] colors to make it seem purple," he said. Amy Pope-Latham, who lives in Jacksonville, Fla., told CNN she sat outside and watched in awe on Wednesday night as the sky transformed from gray to a brilliant, vibrant purple hue. "The sky was definitely a pleasant reminder that we must have hope and if we only believe in the sun when it's shining we will never get through the night," she told the outlet.
  17. 1 point
  18. 1 point
    In a good mood right now, reading through old threads and reminiscing. My sister, bro-in-law, niece, and parents are coming over tomorrow for belated birthday dinner and (hopefully) cheese cake. I have to decide what we're going to order in! My husband is getting more days off lately. He likes to pick up shifts because we could use the extra money, but I also enjoy having him for more than one full day a week, where we can hang out and also accomplish chores and errands without having to rush. Also, this time of year I start to get over my hermit phase so maybe we can start going out places again.
  19. 1 point
    evalynn

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Which store had the bag of autumn leaves?
  20. 1 point
    Lorax

    Away from home

    Thank you for your replies. I'm really not looking for any answers. I don't talk about my depression with anyone in real life, I don't want to talk about it with anyone in real life. Sometimes I do need to let it out though and I know this is a safe place where people understand. So thank you.
  21. 1 point
    F*** These People
  22. 1 point
    The crazy waiters in the Indian restaurant were making me laugh tonight with their bad tempers and jokes so bad, they were good.
  23. 1 point
  24. 1 point
  25. 1 point
    FerryJerry

    I feel very helpless

    I am more and more pain each day so I take strong pain meds and they help my pain and mood but I don't like to live on them and I need to see my dotor because the pain is getting worse as is my mental health but nobody will help, my partner spends all day in bed asleep and I can't look after myself I am dehydrated a lot of the time, I in pain both mentally and also my bad legs and I don't have any will left to live and I have considered saving money to travel somewhere where the doctors could assit me in dying because I could convince them that I am suffering a lot because I am my fiance doesnt want me to go to hospital but she doens't help and its not her fault because she struggles too in the end I am probably going to get worse because I can't be very active and even being hungry triggers me but I am too depressed to make food or to look after myself, In a desprate bid to try and cope I have taken up a new hobby I ordered the cheap parts which will come this week or next week I have decided to take up magnet fishing because its something to do and I can sit on the bridge with a folding chair I got my hopes up this morning when my partner said lets go for a walk and get food at the food van and then she took it back and went to sleep so I have sat here online ever since in this chair in agony and hungry, I really need a carer but I can't afford one and I feel like I am a burden and I have lost my will power. I am super angry at my dad because he keeps promising to do things to help but then he lets me down time and time again until I get fed up and disappointed, his life revolves around his new girlfriend and the only reason they are coming to visit is because she wants to see the area as she never has been and I doubt they will spend much time here the mental health team wont help me because they cant be bothered to even do an assesment they want to try and get my old records and were very dismissive and would not listen to me and I have had enough of this world and society becuase I don't fit in so other people treat me badly because I am autistic, the only thing I have going for me is my cats and rabbits and I am struggling to give them a good life in terms of giving them the attention they need because I can not move very much because its difficult to walk and move now I don't want to be a burden anynore and I don't want to deal with other people
  26. 1 point
    Tears_Always

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Spot is also trying to let you know how much he loves you and that you are very important to him. Hugs.
  27. 1 point
    duck

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Got for it. I will even help you take care of it. 😁
  28. 1 point
  29. 1 point
    Lady Mozzer

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Not much today but that`s probably because I just woke up a little while ago. I guess I did something ...I made coffee .
  30. 1 point
  31. 1 point
    Atra

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Walked to the bead store to pick up some metal spacer beads for a bracelet I'm assembling. Walked out having spent $60 on items I hadn't intended to purchase; feeding my need to bead. 💸 Did some grocery shopping then worked for over 3 hours on a job application that I'd already spent hours preparing with the help of others. I've been putting off completing and submitting it because I was afraid of my own compulsive tendency for finding "perfect answers" to every question. It did interfere but I managed to submit it anyways before late evening and I didn't spend the rest of night rethinking how I might've answered them better. It's important to value these small successes, they fill the gaps between struggles. Kinda like spacer beads.
  32. 1 point
    hocico

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    Dear @evalynn Happy birthday hope it proves to be an enjoyable one!!
  33. 1 point
    Nightjar

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    OK, let me see..... Had a chill out session this morning which was much appreciated even though it seems impossible for me to ever relax completely. Played with mini lion who was literally climbing the walls with boredom because she didn't have her prompt play time in the morning. Showered. Managed to enjoy it for a change as was more relaxed after chill out time. Went shopping. Sorted some recycling, put out some rubbish. Evening DF session. Not a massively productive day but beneficial to my mood. It felt really nice to give myself a break and go easy on myself. Of course I have a to do list as long as my arm but I can honestly say today that I don't care, I feel better for relaxing.
  34. 1 point
    MrMisery

    Goodbye

    It's not cowardly to keep hanging on. Whatever small part of you is still clinging on to life, listen to it. There is always hope, and our obstacles are rarely as big as they seem, it's just we're looking at them from a messed up perspective. Ride out the darkest days, better ones will come.
  35. 1 point
    gcac

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    11th Week @300 mg/day The truth is, I was thinking today about how bad I was feeling before beginning treatment, as well as how (unnecessarily) bad I felt for over a decade, and I'm feeling pretty damn good these days, considering. There has really been a pretty remarkable improvement for me. While I would love to take credit for it, the truth is it has been mostly dependent on the medication. One thing I'm not sure I've mentioned on here is how bad the brain fog was, and how much that has improved in these recent months. Still trying to get the Hedonic functions to up themselves to what I consider baseline, but I can't really complain.
  36. 1 point
    gcac

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    10th Week @300 mg/day Don't want to be too repetitive. I am kind of maintaining the same trend from the last few weeks: still improving on a smallish scale? Still pretty much the same areas of improvement, and also pretty much the same areas where improvement is largely absent to this point.
  37. 1 point
    gcac

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    I've been doing pretty well with exercise, averaging 3 times a week for almost four months now. Pretty good considering I hadn't exercised at all in over a decade. Last week I committed myself to a new goal of exercising 5 times per week. Have also been doing what I can as far as bootstraps and therapy, but I really think the medicine part has been instrumental. Not sure any amount of bootstraps or exercise could have pulled me out of myself. I hope you get your pdoc figured out and you are able to improve the situation surrounding your medication. I will pass along to you the thought that was given me by a psychologist very early on in this process, she suggested I visit many psychiatrists and psychologists before choosing one to continue therapy or medication with. She said sometimes people feel committed to continuing with a doctor or therapist just because they've already been seeing them for a while. She said that mental health is very important (clearly) and that I needed to be smart about finding someone I considered good, not just the first person that came along. She also said to trust my gut.
  38. 1 point
    gcac

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    @Laura123 I have really appreciated your commentary. Your validation is really well received.
  39. 1 point
    gcac

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    9th Week @300 mg/day My arrow is still pointing up, albeit with a softer slope than I imagined before initiating treatment. I suppose I expected this process to be faster: I imagined at 4 weeks the medicine would be showing it's full effect (work or not) and afterwards it would just hold steady. Here I am, nine weeks in, and my p-doc thinks my progression is quite normal, can be a slow process. He says Remission (improvement of 50% of symptoms) should happen on a 6 - 12 week time-frame, and the months that follow should continue to bring improvement. Positive, Negative or Absent Effects: First the Positive Effects: I definitely feel steadier, more "profoundly calm". It's different than the calm that comes from Benzo use, which feels inherently transient. This calm feels like it has a more solid foundation behind it -- you wake up calm in the morning and go to sleep calm in the evening. I am able to put things in perspective better. I generally have more energy than before, and I now appreciate just how critical a role energy appears to play in this whole "depression" thing. Negative Effects: I can't say the medicine is causing any negative effects really, after the adjustment period. Just a persistent need to drink more water in order to stay hydrated. I was having fasciculations for several weeks, but even those seem to have stopped recently. Absent Effects: I feel like the best way to describe where I am today is through the Positive Effects and the ABSENT Effects, because even though there are quite a few positives to like, and I have improved compared to baseline, there are still groupings of things that appear to be absent. Stuff like pleasure, appetite, libido and response to sexual stimuli, interest or attention, and memory. The two best weeks I've had under this medication served as a recent reminder that those things are still POSSIBLE. So, I'm still holding out hope that I will continue to gravitate in that direction. Fingers crossed.
  40. 1 point
    Laura123

    GCAC's - Wellbutrin Weekly Journal

    I always feel that there is a cause and effect when making any changes to medications. Thus, I would expect some reaction to lowering your Klonopin dose.
  41. 1 point
    Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a fairly new, nontraditional type of psychotherapy. It's growing in popularity, particularly for treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD often occurs after experiences such as military combat, physical assault, rape, or car accidents. Although research continues, EMDR remains controversial among some health care professionals. At first glance, EMDR appears to approach psychological issues in an unusual way. It does not rely on talk therapy or medications. Instead, EMDR uses a patient's own rapid, rhythmic eye movements. These eye movements dampen the power of emotionally charged memories of past traumatic events. What Can You Expect From EMDR? An EMDR treatment session can last up to 90 minutes. Your therapist will move his or her fingers back and forth in front of your face and ask you to follow these hand motions with your eyes. At the same time, the EMDR therapist will have you recall a disturbing event. This will include the emotions and body sensations that go along with it. Gradually, the therapist will guide you to shift your thoughts to more pleasant ones. Some therapists use alternatives to finger movements, such as hand or toe tapping or musical tones. How Effective Is EMDR? More than 20,000 practitioners have been trained to use EMDR since psychologist Francine Shapiro developed the technique in 1989. While walking through the woods one day, Shapiro happened to notice that her own negative emotions lessened as her eyes darted from side to side. Then, she found the same positive effect in patients. EMDR appears to be a safe therapy, with no negative side effects. Still, despite its increasing use, mental health practitioners debate EMDR's effectiveness. Critics note that most EMDR studies have involved only small numbers of participants. Other researchers, though, have shown the treatment's effectiveness in published reports that consolidated data from several studies. What Do the Guidelines Recommend? Guidelines issued by more than one professional organization have recently boosted the credibility of EMDR. These guidelines define who may benefit from the treatment. For example: The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has noted that EMDR is effective for treating symptoms of acute and chronic PTSD. According to the APA, EMDR may be particularly useful for people who have trouble talking about the traumatic events they've experienced. The APA guidelines note that other research is needed to tell whether improvements from EMDR can be sustained over time. The Department of Veterans Affairs and the Department of Defense have jointly issued clinical practice guidelines. These guidelines "strongly recommended" EDMR for the treatment of PTSD in both military and non-military populations. They also note that this approach has been as effective as other psychological treatments in some studies, and less effective in others. How Does EMDR Work? Even the most enthusiastic supporters of EMDR have not agreed on how the therapy works. At this point, only theories exist. By inducing the recall of distressing events and diverting attention from their emotional consequences, EMDR in some respects borrows basic principles used in prolonged exposure therapy, the gold standard behavioral psychotherapeutic treatment of PTSD. Some therapists believe that EMDR reduces anxiety. This allows patients to better take control of their upsetting thoughts. Others simply say that we don't yet understand how EMDR works. According to the APA guidelines, EMDR needs further study to more fully understand it. Getting EMDR Treatment EMDR techniques are performed by trained professionals who are also qualified to treat panic disorder, such as psychologists or mental health counselors. If you are currently seeing a therapist who is not trained in EMDR, you can ask him or her to provide you with a referral. EMDR practitioners can also be found through online directories, including the EMDR Institute, Inc. directory or the EMDR International Association's list of treatment centers.
  42. 0 points
    CoffeeAddict103

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    my body feels broken. Horrible brain fog headache, always tired and aching.
  43. 0 points
    I'll probably get banned in an hour or two because I dared to call out a very hateful, sexist, and scapegoating bigoted women who blamed her obesity and male oppression for all of her woes. Although she doesn't hate men, see, just "how *they* treat women." They, huh? I wonder if a topic about an unemployed man who shared the same views against women would be treated by the moderators. I would imagine it would be abusive triggering hate speech. Oozing with male privilege as always, stay frosty!
  44. 0 points
    bellerose

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I feel alone on a trip with friends celebrating someone’s (and to my surprise mine as well) birthday. I am surrounded by people who love me. But I’ve been so exhausted from fighting the depression+ package that I’m burnt out. I don’t feel like interacting with anyone, but I want to pour my heart out. I know now is not the appropriate time, so it’s a bit of a struggle. But, I consider this practice, for when no one is around and I really do only have me to rely on for support. Apparently I need more practice.
  45. 0 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    Am okay hade a few bad dreams about stuff I was thinking about a lot yesterday
  46. 0 points
    Mine is complicated. I am a middle child but there is 12 years difference between me and the older brother. So at times I felt like the oldest. I didn't like either position.
  47. 0 points
    Atra

    What Did You Do Today? #3

    This afternoon, I went for a walk in the park with a new friend who I met recently. We saw flowers, listened to musicians jam for a while. Walked around a duck pond, went up in a tower for a 360 degree view of the city. We talked real talk. I don't know when it dawned on me that our leisure trek had begun to feel like a date. The easy openness in sharing about ourselves. The gentle looks, compliments. Rapport. Chemistry. I don't think I was making special efforts and attempts to be charming or cool because she's married. For me, that's a boundary. We both want to make new friends and this seemed like a safe and tidy foray... but NOPE! 😞 Cause life is seldom tidy, towards the end of our day she spoke her truth about her feelings for me. I did not confide my own - not that it mattered, she sees through me. I kept the physical boundary intact, so nothing happened. But you know how the chemicals in our bodies that signal attraction feel like opiates? I feel a mess. This is a mess, and I don't know how to tidy it up. What would you do?
  48. 0 points
    Devlinkyla

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I feel lost I really need same one to vent to no one well talk to me 😶 maybe am really that bad
  49. 0 points
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #11

    I tried to go out today twice actually. The last time people hurt me so badly with their actions I never wanted to go out again. I did nothing. They ruined my day just because they could. Some of the things that have happened to me just because I went for a walk. I was almost robbed. Someone threatened to **** me and leave me in the cemetery. Today someone waved at me in the distance to get my attention and I waited for them to get there. I must know them I thought and when they got there they said some of the worst things I've ever heard and walked on by. I hate people.
  50. 0 points
    sober4life

    Lost Lonely Loser

    So you're thinking my bitterness is making me use all or nothing thinking and surely there must have been some good caring people in my life? You're right there have been but most of them have passed away at this point.

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