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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/02/2012 in all areas

  1. 34 points
    Today I had to go to the store, and that's a very big task for me for so many reasons. One, I hate to leave the house. Two, I hate myself. Three, I'm obese and it's a huge struggle for me to move around. Four, I suffer from severe anxiety. Five... and so on. When I have to go to the store, I make myself sick over it for days. Today, I told myself that if I made it to the store, I would come and post my success here and maybe someone would understand just how big a deal it was that I got that task done. And even though I don't know anyone here, I was anxious to be able to tell someone, anyone, that I accomplished my task. I went to the store today! Not just one store, but two stores. I'm exhausted and stressed to the max, but I did it. If you did anything today, anything at all... please post here. Or if you do something tomorrow, please come back and report it. I don't care how small the task is, because I think when suffering from depression, there are no small tasks. I have days where if I take in the mail, it's considered a good day. Seriously. So, did you do anything at all today? Anything?
  2. 28 points
    What I've learned living with a spouse with depression: 1. I need to be flexible: When she is in the depths of the shadow, I need to protect her; when she is functioning in the normal range I need to give her space. Don't be shy about taking the car keys or other drastic action when your loved one appears to be "out of control", since you may be saving their life. 2. I can help her understand the dynamics of her depression. For example, I can help her recognize what "triggers" a depressive cycle and I can help her implement actions to stop the downward spiral into the deep shadows. Using these prevention points can avoid the coming pain. 3. I am a caregiver, and I need to know my boundaries. I have a life too, with feelings and needs. I need to maintain my "separate self" and not just become a slave to the depression. Yes, I need to sacrifice and forgo some of my plans and commitments, but I will quickly burn out if I don't also care for myself. 4. TV is a drug. Most of it is not healthy for me or my spouse. A walk is much more therapeutic. 5. There is no golden answer waiting to be found in books or other literature. Yes, it's good to know the basics of depression and the specifics of your loved one's diagnosis, but you will not find a cure in a book. 6. Change the subject if your loved one is cascading into the pit. They can easily get into a cycle where one negative thought breeds another negative thought and they can't seem to stop the descent. 7. Try to maintain some level of social-activity in which you can both participate, such as going to movies. The depressed person will probably withdraw and avoid social situations. They need some "quiet time" and personal space, but that can quickly become brooding time that leads to another slide into the depths. 8. Do the best you can with what you
  3. 22 points
    I know there are some folks here that don't want to leave their homes because of various reasons. I, on the other hand, sort of can't leave home. Don't anyone freak out. I'm not being held hostage or anything. I just don't have the means or resources to get out of the house. Most of it is due to not having the cash to go. I'll admit that I haven't always had the nice, easy-going demeanor I have now. Back in the day I was very outspoken. My mouth and language has cost me more than a few jobs and a lot of friendships. I don't want it to seem that I'm bragging. I have been battling the war with depression for at least 20 years. In the past 20 years I have done a lot of self prescribed medications. Drinking alcohol, liquor and smoking a lot of pan. Needless to say, those things didn't workout that well. Especially when the best 1 was illegal. But now that I'm on disability, I am on a upswing with my depression. Life hasn't been too bad since this past December. The only problem I'm having is my being the only 1 home for like 10 to 12 hours a day, awake, without any human communication or contact. That's 1 of the reasons I joined this forum. I read a lot of your posts and feel sympathy. I'll admit I joined for my own selfish reasons just like most of you. I'm starting this new thread as a positive swing in this forum. I'd like for whoever reads this to reply with something positive that personally happened to them today and everyday if they can find the time. I've learned with my depression and anxiety issues that if I try to think positive and find positive things to concentrate on, the bad doesn't seem to be as horrible or deflating. I'd like to say thank you to all of you for allowing me to join this great forum and I pray that all of you find peace.
  4. 19 points

    People's Inappropriate Responses

    Well I'm starting this thread cos I just need to get these things people have said to me out of my head cos their just rattling around in there......I hope everyone understands I hope this can be a venting, releasing sort of exercise and not to contribute to anyone's anxiety or stress by triggering,,,.please add/share any bonehead responses you have heard! Here's my "favorite" inappropriate responses I have heard to any discussion of my mental health/mental health in general -"you are just having a pity party" -"there's nothing wrong with u, it's all in your head" -"you're just making things up and imagining that" -"get over it" "You worry too much" "People who commit suicide are just selfish" -if things were that bad for you you would be on the streets living in a bus shelter"
  5. 16 points
    Hey DF family, I'm doing fine. Great, actually!! There's been very little change in the kidney "lesion" since the last MRI, two years ago. That's a HUGE relief because I've been through a lot of stress, didn't eat well, and drank too much during those two years. I'm one lucky SOB. Thanks for your concern, everyone!
  6. 14 points

    The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2

    strangely OK - I am not going to question it, just enjoy it (I wish things were better for everyone here, though)
  7. 14 points
    Hi all. Just got home a little bit ago and dinner was ready right away, so I'm just now catching up with everyone'e status. I'm sorry so many people are feeling down today. I hope you all feel better. Well, the update is that I feel very positive about the phone job interview that I had this morning. The interviewer said that she'd pass my information onto another person in the company and that they will contact me. The next step is a Skype interview as there is no one here to do a physical face to face interview for the company. I'm waiting to here back now. As for this dental drama of mine, I went to the dentist after my interview. I was there for 2 hours and 40 minutes. They put me into an emergency slot since my tooth was hurting and I wanted to be seen right away. I didn't think they'd be able to help me with both of my problem teeth today, but they did. I was seen by a dentist who works at this office and another clinic, so I still haven't met my regular dentist at this office. They filled my lower right, back molar with the cavity with the white filling material. It was badly decayed. There was decay on the biting surface of the tooth and on the side by my cheek near the gums. This didn't surprise me since it was hurting so much. The good news is that the novocaine has mostly worn off and I'm not in pain anymore. That's the nice thing about fillings, is that usually they take away your pain. The exception is if it's a deep cavity that turns into a root canal. They also fixed my fractured tooth. This is my upper right, back molar. The tooth had a root canal treatment done on it 2-3 years ago and didn't get a crown, because I was told I couldn't with the braces on. I had no idea that I'd been told wrong by another doctor. They put a temporary crown on the tooth and I go back in 2 weeks for my permanent crown, which will be done by my regular dentist. I'm so glad they were able to do this tooth today also. I really went in thinking I was only getting a filling. The fractured tooth had been hurting and also irritating my tongue and cheek, so it's so nice to not have to deal with that anymore. So, I guess I feel relieved. I was a nervous wreck at the appointment for most of it, because this doctor was not able to administer nitrous oxide. I'm not sure why. My normal dentist can. My nervousness, fear and anxiety were very apparent to myself and the staff. I was shaking so badly. I also get very quiet when I feel like that and often my voice will shake also. They were very patient and very gentle with me. I'm so thankful to the staff who worked with me today. JJ
  8. 14 points
    Morning all, I'm feeling anxious about the day. Almost ready to leave for my appt. I just want to know what I'm dealing with in regards to my knee, besides that it hates me immensely. My nephew's birthday dinner with the family is this evening so I'm not sure if I'll be able to make any of the chat, and that makes me sad. Be kind to yourself today. ((((Hugs))))
  9. 13 points

    What's Your "one Question?"

    Will I ever learn to love myself?
  10. 13 points
    (((Massive hugs to everyone who needs them))) I'm feeling mildly/moderately depressed, though certainly not as low as I could feel (thankfully!) I still haven't heard squat from my employer-to-be (lol), but I really don't think that is triggering any of the down/blah feelings. I had a good T appointment yesterday followed by a pdoc appointment. I'm off of the Klonopin, which I didn't care for, and taking Ativan/Lorazepam now. I am likely going to be put on a low dose of Abilify at my next appointment, but thankfully pdoc is keeping me on Zoloft/sertraline. Searching for motivation. I think it's hiding under the couch or something.
  11. 13 points
    I'm sorry so many of you are hurting today (everyday). My thoughts go out to all of you. I feel... abandoned and exhausted. Also like a stuffed pig.
  12. 13 points

    Assignment #1: Dear Me

    I'm sitting here taking a break from doing the dishes, because I need breaks because climbing Mt. Everest (aka doing the dishes) is really hard work. So anyway, a light bulb clicked on, a smack across the head, an inner voice perhaps shouting, "You are SUCH a hypocrite!!!! You can show sympathy, compassion and kindness to others.... give yourself some of that back." So this topic is going to be all about me. (or you)...but it has to be good stuff. I'm not unrealistic to know that there will be days when I don't come near this thread because I'm not feeling it but today, I want to document that I'm capable of showing myself even a teeny bit of some of the good stuff that I give so freely to others. I don't want to be a hypocrite any more. I would love for you to join me, there's just 1 rule though. Good stuff only, even if it's a teeny tiny bit of good stuff. Dear Me: I'm proud of you for having this epiphany today. It means somewhere you have a sliver of hope and that means progress. Now go finish the dishes!
  13. 13 points
  14. 13 points
    I feel toxic and not as in I have bad gas. (although that has happened and hazmat has been called out) You are welcome. You laughed right? Anyway, yes I feel toxic. As in, I feel negative and don't want to be around other humans. It's not as if depression and anxiety haven't been driving the boat on my life for the last 6 months, now this pain is overshadowing every part of my being. It's all I think about. It affects my ability to walk, to sit, to stand, to get in and out of bed, to get dressed, to do simple ****ing tasks and on and on and on. My once "optimistic" despite being depressed view point of life is scattering into a billion pieces and as much as I try picking them up....I'm losing my grip. Yesterday, my mom came to visit so I frantically tried to pick up the house as best I could (I HATE drop in visits) and we started talking and I just wept, I feel so ****ing worthless. I didn't realize how much my pain is affecting me and how I'm really not tapped into our I'm emotionally feeling because I'm numbed out emotions and am focused on the pain.
  15. 13 points
    Well I can say I've felt much worse metally, but my back is giving me fits this morning and that's always a trigger for my mood as I hate how it limits my exercise and just overall desire to do any movement some times. I also slept waaay too much this weekend and feel guilty about that. There is just so much work to be done on my house after 6+ years of this crap and I just don't have the energy. On a funnier note, I almost didn't read Christina's earlier post where she labeled a section (CAUTION: POSSIBLE ED TRIGGERS) . My first thought when I read ED was male associated ED and not eating disorder. Whew! Edited to add: I really don't feel like working today. :-/
  16. 12 points

    Valentines Day

    I wanted to tell you all Happy Valentine's Day. I know some of us (including myself) are single or you may not have someone to wish you a good holiday. So I'd like to tell you all Happy Valentine's Day and you are all amazing for being here and helping each other. I'm also glad for those to have reached out to this wonderful forum 🙂 I wish you all a grand day!
  17. 12 points
    I feel okay .....the sun is out and I went for a walk for 10 minutes......not a big deal to most, but to me is a huge accomplishment because normally I barely do anything....
  18. 12 points
    Disappointed. Once again, I feel like God/The Universe/Whoever is laughing at me. A former lover came back to my life and now we have come to a ridiculous impasse. Bottom line -- he just doesn't know me any more. If he did, he would not suggest some of the things he has. I've been known to use poor judgement when I'm lonely, and do things I know aren't good for me. What he suggests would be awful for me, and if I've learned anything about myself, it's that I must take care of myself by not making a move motivated by loneliness. But that still leaves me alone, yearning for the comfort of a man's arms around me, Back to bed I go. Maybe my dreams will comfort me.
  19. 12 points
    Going to be forced to interact with strangers for the next two days, wish me luck.
  20. 12 points
    I could not agree with you more, renee. I think in a decent society people like her would be helped rather than punished in a situation like that. But then, I'm probably a pie in the sky softie.
  21. 12 points
    This is just going to be pure me ranting (so sorry about that!) but it's something that's been frustrating and upsetting me so much recently. People who don't take depression seriously. Can't put into words how much this irks me. And I know, for people who don't suffer from it, it must be a difficult thing to understand, but the sheer stupidity of some of the things people come out with makes my blood boil! "I had depression, but I didn't go on pills or anything and then I just pulled myself together and got over it." You, my friend, do not have depression. That's feeling a bit sad and then having a sandwich and playing XBox and being happy again, and doesn't give you the right to tell me that I need to "fix myself." I am not broken, I have illness. And people who do the whole "You don't need medication, you should be strong enough to get over it on your own." Ok, go tell that to someone with diabetes! And people who think it's making something out of nothing and don't seem to understand that it cripples people and ruins their lives. Or refer to me as being "delicate". I am not delicate, my brain doesn't produce the right amount of the right chemicals and it affects my mood. It's basic endocrinology, and you should have covered it in secondary school... "Just don't think negative things." Ohhhhh I should just stop doing it! My god, why didn't I think of that. It's like when someone turned round to my friend Becky and said about her OCD "Why don't you... you know... when you get the urge to do something just.... don't do it?" Please share things people have said to you that make you feel utterly exasperated, so I know it's not just me! Sorry, I realise this is a really negative thread, but it's been stressing me out so much!
  22. 12 points
    Well, better than yesterday. Today I feel...resigned. That's better than feeling completely despondent, as I did yesterday. Money sucks. The lack of it sucks even more.
  23. 12 points
    I'm f.u.c.king angry right now.
  24. 12 points
    Felt really silly for a couple of reasons. What with my unemployment/rejections, ill family member, money problems, health issues (my shoulder is messed up), on and on, what I have been doing the last week or so is just silly. I lived on food pantry beans and macaroni with soy stuff for about two and a half months. Got my tax refund, bought a few groceries, and have been craving ice cream, but instead of just buying and eating the evil ice cream, I have bought and eaten substitutes that were no healthier or cheaper (cookies, m&ms) and infinitely less satisfying. So feeling silly about the fact I made this a huge deal, failed by eating comparable calories and spending probably more money, and still obsessed that I just didn't get ice cream, so I am going to go get some..... For some reason with all the reasons I can beat myself up, I am entertained when I finally realized what an internal drama I have created about some stupid ice cream. I can be so stupid sometimes HAHAHA!
  25. 12 points
    How I'm feeling... when the bad times out number the good times it's time to move on! I'm packing up box after box and I've realized something. Even with my constant need to purge possessions out of my life, I still have a ton of junk!
  26. 12 points
    Anxious and a bit overwhelmed. I'm not sure why all of the sudden it feels like Zoloft side effects slammed into me like a board. I've been on this dose for almost two months. But last night I was laying in bed and had ringing in my ears, before it turned into an auditory hallucination (of music). I also had very vivid dreams. Today my anxiety is up and down, my ears are screaming with ringing (ARGHHH), I'm nauseous and had a brief auditory hallucination in the bathroom. I was also a bit teary this morning. Unsure what this is all about. I wonder if part of my "reaction" to hair dye was actually this weirdness and hit at a coincidental time. - Christina
  27. 12 points
    I feel rough...managed to not fall asleep the entire night...finally around 6 something am this morning I did. Only 3.5 hours later I wake up?!? WTH. Geez I feel for those with insomnia.
  28. 12 points
    Miserable. Feel like I can barely breathe in this ****ing heat. I hate the summer. Don't feel like doing anything--just want to sit in front of the fan and hope I drop dead. I want out of everything. But, hey, I'm getting ice cream later so I guess that's something.
  29. 12 points
    A little anxious today. So much to do work wise. Lonely. A tad down. But, I'm plugging ahead! Found out a little about myself yesterday. Should have been obvious years ago. I have a victim complex - when something goes wrong I take about three mental leaps in a nanosecond and determine that the entire world is against me. I've always done this. It is something I am going to try to battle with full force. A victim mindset puts me (us??) in a position of total helplessness. It might feel good to be the victim, but it's a blocked alleyway.
  30. 12 points
    Hi chickens, Elliot-best of luck with your appointment. I hope it goes better than you expect. (((hugs))) Wisteria--I can very much relate to your post as I was let go from my job a few months ago, please be gentle with yourself. I hope you find something that you love very soon. (((Huggles to you))) Brian--High five for a good nights sleep!! Woot!! I totally get what you said about your date this weekend. I'm guilty of doing the same thing with people.. I hope you're able to take a step back and try to take things as they come. As much as I'm alike in that situation~I don't want to see you get hurt if things don't work out---OF COURSE, I'll be sending positive vibes for the best outcome though! You are a great guy and deserve someone that can see those qualities in you. (((Squishy hugs to you))) Christina~I hope today is a good day for you and the pain takes a hike. I hope the coffee was tasty! (I haven't had any in 3 days!) (((Lots of hugs to you))) GoldenEve-- I hope your day goes quickly!! I hope your weekend is good. (((Hugs))) JD-- I hope the day goes quickly, drink lots of water! I'm sorry about your lady, I hope she's feeling better soon. 1500 miles is a long way, that has to be tough. It's not Biotching and moaning--if it's how you feel. That's what we're here for! (((Loads of hugs))) S~ You've been through a lot recently, it's okay to be in a foul mood. I hope you're able to shut everything out and relax today. (((Squishy hugs to you!))) My anxiety is through the roof and I think I'm going to have to break down and take a Xanax...haven't had to in the last week. I've spent the last few hours on the phone trying to get insurance stuff figured out and being overwhelmed at how I process this stuff now. I feel like an ***** because the guy kept having to repeat himself. Bless him, he was as patient as they come. Thank goodness. My goal today is to start deep cleaning my carpets... and I need some good vibes because what will more than likely happen is I'll end up in the chair staring at the tv or in bed for the afternoon. Okay, I think I'm done! :)
  31. 12 points
    Hate admitting it, but I'm in such a foul mood today :uh-uh: I think it might just be the past couple weeks catching up to me. I'm so tired, so tired of being tired and sick, and so tired of these migraines. Really really low and just want to hide from the world.
  32. 12 points
    wish we could all just have one day where we don't feel like sh!t.
  33. 12 points

    It Can Get Better

    It Gets Better. It can. It does. It only feels like it never will. We here these stories from people here and elsewhere, and often think, "can it really happen?" "Maybe it happened for them, but how could it for me?" It is a lie from the disease. I have been posting on this site for several years. Most of that time and content has focused on a tortured cry to want so desperately to get better. I have felt suicidal the vast majority of the past 8 years. Everyone here knows how sh*tty that is. My story also involves the stress of trying to maintain a damaged career as a former lawyer and sales professional as the sole provider for a family of 4. But today I want to hopefully offer a ray of hope to someone. During the many long years I have supported from depression, I have tried SO MANY different things, for long periods, multiple times, different therapies, treatments, doctors, medications, etc., etc. As everyone here knows, one of the standard things that thoughtful and knowing and especially recovered/recovering people say to us is that it gets better. It reminds of the poignant TV camping to LGBT youth struggling with identity, bullying, etc., in school. I'm sure I'm not alone in that when people say things like "recovery is possible," "you will feel better," "there are things you can do that will definitely make you feel better or worse," "I have improved so people can get better,", etc., I usually have two reactions (at least). 1) Thank you, I am grateful for your sincere testimony and encouragement. It is a good reminder that does offer some rational and much needed help, and I want to be able to see and believe that; and 2) Sure, okay, maybe for some people, but you don't know how much, how hard, how long, how many things I've been trying - that HAVE NOT WORKED!!!! And I think about things like but wait, some people never do really get over it or seem to improve, etc.....ahh...that could be the case for me. So, really, some people get better and I may possibly have a chance at getting better. Well, I am feeling better. It is recent and so far brief, but it is real. I cannot discount it. I can't believe it. (I have detailed the work I've been doing with DBT therapy over the last few months and TMS treatment over the last couple weeks here: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/104275-experiences-with-dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt/). But the purpose here is not to promote or even talk about those. They seem to be working for me (and there is good evidence they work for many), but people's situations vary and anyhow, I'm not a professional. I just want to say to everyone having a horrible time, that life can feel better. Please remember that.
  34. 12 points
    I feel phenomenal. Honestly phenomenal. Cymbalta has been the best thing since sliced bread for me. I am actually smiling again! :)
  35. 11 points
    I'm starting a much needed vacation. I'm not going anywhere. I'm resting. I don't have to work again until Tuesday.
  36. 11 points

    What A Weekend

    I'm 42. One of 5 children, who have been disbursed around the world the last 20 years, with one sister serving in China as a missionary the last 15. We aren't able to see each other often, but we all did this weekend, along with our mother, step dad, and for the first time, all 17 of the cousins. My oldest brother, arranged for all of us to attend memorial day weekend at camp Barakel in Michigan's National Forrest, where all of us grew up going for 1-2 weeks each summer, and then would volunteer as counselors and suer staff in college and beyond, going back to my mother, and her father, who helped start the camp. There are a lot of fun things to do there and the kids had a blast. We really hadn't had a vacation in probably 10 - 15 years. It's cabin-camping. I had finished a legal brief till 3am and then packed and help drive the 7 hours to get there. Interaction with my wife is still frayed and painful...and for a lot of the weekend, I just took the kids around to activities with family, met old friends, etc. Happily my urge to engage in the important questions was quelled, perhaps my my brother's adroit handling of the chapel services. He's very good in his field. His approach to the faith is simultaneously as high brow and practical as it gets. I learned this over the years as I would debate with him, and at some.point I realized he was the only person I knew who could best me....that is teach me with a deeper insight into life, death, our nature, truth, epistology, logic, the big questions, etc. (This is the purpose of debate, argumentation...to sharpen one another and learn). And it is wonderfully gratifying to seem doing so well and in this elemement. Barakel means, where good has blessed. Even though my relationship with "The Faith" is still painful, the live piano music, rustic would chapel, and familiar faces are heartwarming. One of them was a Yoda-like mentor, and he still runs the camp, going on I think 40 years. An oracle. Brilliant, thoughtful, conscientious, large-minded and hearted. And the grounds are as tranquil as it gets, with Sheer Lake centering the entire campgrounds like some mystical gem. My youngest brother was our chapel speaker this week, he cristened a professor of theology a few years ago after completing his doctorate and other divinity defrees at 3 of the world's top institutions, ending at Cambridge University. I was excited to see everyone, and it was great, and to hear him speak, preach, whatever. And my discomfort subsided...I've been working on it anyway. He's smarter than me, a true intellectual. He was born to teach. He took on the most difficult questions... literally...having the adults, a diverse mix of lifetime bible students, and some not, put in questions all weekend, which he then gave his best expert answers to in his penultimate talk. And wow people brought--and he selected--tough questions. He answered a couple of mine. I don't still agree with everything he says, but I will say he makes imaculate arguments. Driving, compelling, subtle, compassionate, humble.... the way good intellectuals should always be.... Genuinely interested in learning the enlightenment of truth, without fear or sacred red cows. I know that sound unlikely for a Christian preaching the Gospel. Here was one that I I think he has probably said to me before, but I will remember: are you willing to doubt your doubt? Are your questions borne of real wonder? Or with wat attitude of heart are they asked? Would more information really persuade you (hint it rarely does with people). This came after praising and embracing, and just before answering some of the toughest seeming contradictions of the faith, of doubters like me. A couple of the questions were mine. His answers were not unexpected, and not comforting, but they trouble the waters in the way that activists always have. If I were ever to believe again in a literal way, it would be because of these few people who demonstrated a kind of peace that passes understanding. It's still painful for me, much more than a heritage lost. The belief is pervasive of every fragment and shard of life. It is so large and hopeful. And it inevitably is challenging to me. Was I wrong then, after all? Or now? Is there really a supreme love, personally interactive and powerful, who redeems all things...an unconditional love that would change everything. Everything. It's the strongest bond on Earth or heaven, even above other mere-human connections. It is a sad thing that I do not share it any more. But the weekend was really good, and I am thankful.
  37. 11 points
    Happy for once. There are still so many things out of place, I could go on and on. But going through what I just went through.. I would have never thought I'd be here, sitting at my desk again, working. Just having something to work towards fills me with so much hope. Even if it doesn't work out like everything else I'm just glad that in this moment in time I have something to work towards. I'm going to enjoy it whilst it lasts and not think about what will come after.
  38. 11 points

    Depression and Work/Career

    For me, the 'sadness' part of depression is not something I mind. Never really have. I've always had a melancholic side to my personality and I guess I've always been okay with it. While depression has impacted every domain in my life (physical, psychological, mental/emotional, spiritual health, relationships, family, confidence, etc.), nowhere has the impact been more obvious, direct or disastrous than in my career and work life. Depression only became a problem when I experienced some kind of wall or block - a seeming inability to continue to move forward and complete work due to: a) serious anxiety (procrastination, distraction, angst, something along the lines of panic attacks, although not literally feeling I could die or anything); b) depression and all its negative effects; and c) a sense of the utter meaninglessness (not just present tedium) of doing for-profit work in law or sales. I've had trouble keeping and now getting good new jobs, which naturally has caused spiraling fall out at home, in relationships, financially, relative to confidence, etc. I've long thought we are in great need of a hybrid therapist/career counselor and at times have thought about trying to become such a professional. Anyhow, I'm going to try to include a poll question here to see how others view their depression as having affected their work lives and careers. Let's see if this works or if I know how to do this.
  39. 11 points

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Hello, all my dear friends here on the DF Forum, you have all been so caring and supportive and I am so grateful for that. I am so sorry for not being around much here lately, but I hope to contribute more in the near future. I have to admit that in my whole life, I have dealt with a lot, severe depression, severe handicaps and a whole lot more, but I have tried to do the best that I could with what I was dealt, as I have tried to encourage others on the forum to do. I have been depressed for a while now, but not to bad, but I don't think I have ever been as physically sick as I have been for the past 6+ months in all my life. I not only have been suffering with stomach issues but also cysts under each arm filled with "staph" infection, I think I have "cornered the market" on antibiotics, so to speak. There is one particular person on the forum that I care about a lot and am so sorry that I have not been around much for, (He knows that I am referring to Him), I do worry about Him and everyone else here every day, this forum has been one of the best places I have ever been to on the internet. By the way, my goal of making it to Florida, may happen in a few days, I need this more than ever. But guess what?, my destination, which is Naples, in Collier County is on fire right now, so that may hamper, yet my trip, again, it just so figures. That I know is a bit selfish, considering what they are going through that live there. I have not seen my brother, nephew or little nieces in a few years, but they will be here, along with my sister, on and I plan to go back to Florida with my sister when she leaves. Right now I am feeling better and also excited that I may get away from this "Damn" house and the doctors, tests and appointments for a while. PS: To all my friends that I message a good bit, I will catch up soon and get back to you ALL...I will see yall around soon, I hope...Your Friend Quentin...
  40. 11 points

    The Little Things

    For some reason, Life keeps placing "insects in trouble" in my path and although it is a little thing, I enjoy helping them. Last night it was a little spider caught in a glass bowl that was too slick for him or her to crawl out of. Yesterday it was a little bug that was trapped on the train. Sometimes it is just walking somewhere without stepping on any little critter walking beneath my feet. I don't know . . . makes me feel like I am at one with Life on some level and brightens my day or night.
  41. 11 points
    Feel like getting lost in music for a couple days. Piano, take me away.
  42. 11 points
    Just got back from the Deadpool movie. Went by myself which kinda bugged me because of seeing so many couples... I did enjoy the movie though. Work weekend is probably gonna suck. Friday, Saturday and Sunday... I love the 4 days off though I don't do much.
  43. 11 points
    crying ... heartbroken... sad... angry... lonely... confused... depressed...
  44. 11 points
    Absolutely exhausted. I met with the Geneticist and had my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome diagnosis confirmed. It is more of a relief, than upsetting, to finally have answers.
  45. 11 points
    there is something i would like you to consider. a lot of times guys use the term "friend zone" to describe a perceived negative condition where a woman will not sleep with them. but i think a lot of men don't realize how this comes across, when they keep complaining about the so-called "friend zone". basically, getting upset over the "friend zone" over and over again comes across as the idea that a man feels entitled to sleep with any woman he goes out with, as soon as he wants to. and that if she is not so inclined, or she is not ready yet, that she is bad or she is wrong, because she is not giving him what he is entitled to when he wants it. this is really, really how it comes across. i want you to think about this concept. every person has a right to decide who they want to sleep with and when... it is their prerogative, it is their choice to do so or not. so although you would like to be with the woman intimately, and so it is a less than good situation for you if you don't get to, the woman is not inherently wrong or bad for not saying yes. (and vice versa, if a woman wants to be with a man sexually and he doesn't want to, the man is not bad or wrong for saying no either.) in reality, i don't think anything like the "friend zone" really exists. there are just people, who are having interactions. sometimes there is chemistry and good compatibility, and sex may occur, while other interactions are platonic, and those may be very satisfying in other ways that are not about sex. instead of seeing everything as being in the "friend zone" or not, maybe just consider it to be an open arena of interaction. there may be lots of interactions that you could have, if you stop seeing it in a binary manner. this is not just a point of view held by me only. if you search "friend zone" and "entitlement" you will find some articles on the subject. I really don't think I deserve to be accused like this on this Forum. I also don't feel I need to explain myself to you. I'm not accusing these ladies of anything. They have told me they are not interested, period. But they like me as a friend. There is no man more respectful of a woman's wishes that I. If you have some hangups about others using this term differently, don't paint me with the same brush - and deal with your own issues in private. I resent being treated this way on this Forum.. Thanks very much. Stardreamer, I'm not trying to cause problems here but when I read this via my email on my phone I was also extremely upset because 1. I knew this would upset Brian and rightfully so. 2. If you knew and read his posts, you would never have wrote this to him. I know it's difficult for some people to not read another persons words and to be objective about it but you should gather information before writing such stuff, especially on a depression site and with a subject as sensitive as this. Brian, You are in my thoughts. ((((Hugs)))
  46. 11 points
    Feeling really anxious, gonna spend the whole weekend on a conference from the volunteering work I just joined. Lots of social interaction, real stress to me
  47. 11 points
    Not bad at all today, so far. I think my hormones are done wreaking havoc and I feel less fatigued than I have in weeks. I ran errands this morning, cooked lunch, and worked out. The only frustration I felt was annoyance at my left wrist partially dislocating while I was straining pasta... again. I think I'm forbidden from pasta straining duty. I can pop my joints back into place with ease, but am starting to feel a little bit like Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas. Sending hugs and positive vibes to you all! - Christina
  48. 11 points
    I feel ok today.
  49. 11 points
    I applied for a job at the memorial centre and...I got it. It's a permanent position, as opoosed to me being a sub teacher for three years now. The thing is, being a teacher is ALL I am. Literally, I have no identity other than being a teacher and being depressed. Plus, I love those kids as if they were my own. I really do.
  50. 11 points

    Rip Robin Williams

    So sad to hear he passed today. Goes to show you that no one is immune to depression and suicide. Such a loss. Will always be one of my favorite actors. Hope he's in a better place now. :-(
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