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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/18/2020 in Blog Entries

  1. 0 points
    starting to spiral down. little things are sparking it. unfortunately everyone else's joy and happiness makes me sadder. new babies, new engagements...no matter how much i try not to think of it and dwell on, and try to be happy for them, its like a knife in my heart. how on earth will i ever get thru this and be ok with knowing what im missing? how on earth can i ever be happy with how things are? its impossible. I can't fully distract myself from the world around me having their life on track. what do i do? besides move to a deserted cabin in the woods to hide. how do i turn my heart off?
  2. 0 points

    You Got Me

    Im ready. You will finally get what you want. I can finally be meek. Submissive. You can rub the fact that you are the bread winner and i make so little and dont contribute financially in my nose as much as you want. Like a dog learning not to s hit in the house. Rub my face in it too. Im a dog. Because, lets face it. You are in control. When i made more than you many years ago i NEVER EVER tried to remind you constantly. There is obviously something wrong with me. Everyone shows me this constantly. Im 46 and i finally have learned this. Parents, friends, teachers, co-workers, bosses , medical officials, complete strangers, people online, you, and now of course our daughter has learned from you that its ok. Im surprised you dont hit me. My parents did. F uck my dad outright gave me the strap. He would chase me to my room snd cornet me on the other side of the room so i could scream in terror. My mother would slap me. Spank me with wooden spoons. Whatever was handy for our location. Skinny wood meant for fencing. Then there was the passive aggressive crap. The punishment through restriction of things that they were going to give me. You do some of that (withholding and verbal crap). Put me out of my misery. Just kill me. Youll be happy. Everyone will be.
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