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Showing content with the highest reputation since 02/24/2019 in Blog Comments

  1. 3 points

    Week of July 10th

    You just might be the motivation I need to get moving!
  2. 3 points


    Fear has to be depression and anxiety's cousin. Fear is a major trigger for me. I did lose everything in the 5 years. It's hard to get past but with support from each other we can and will.
  3. 2 points

    Futility and void

    ...Ahem..just wanted to say that though all the above is true enough, I tend to go overk ill when my mind goes on a tangent breaking orbit into the great unknown.. and I am truly sorry for the negative outbursts. Sorry @Depressedgurl007. You deserve better than my puerile explosion. Season's greetings and all that. I mean it boys and girls, I hope next year will be better for all of us.
  4. 2 points

    Petty Things

    So a guy came up to me and one of my lady friends the other night and gave me a piece of paper that said he was homeless,no food etc. (you know the story) and that he was mute and couldn't speak...the sorrow I felt in his eyes was true... luckily I speak sign,and conversed with him a bit about life in general etc. I gave him what I had in my wallet (Im a spend money for the day kind of guy,and am really good at math so everything is covered anyways and at the end of the day any money I have left over,I don't feel I need anyways) but I gave it to him...and some random guy was like he's probably on meth etc. And I laughed at him,I didn't care what his burdens was,the only thing that mattered in the moment...was he needed help,and I had it to give. Don't care much for the details...bc the point is much simpler than the reasons for him to ask or me to give...you got them some gifts,that's all that really matters isn't it? You thought about them when maybe no one else did...and the small anxieties,well I can relate too. (Little background on me I have PTSD) and I wanna hang out or enjoy places,events or things with people but it's hard...sounds and movement put me in a survival state of mind again and it's so heavy in the civilian world,but I overcome it sometimes with shear strength or will... speaking to others isn't my thing and I'm a silent kind of guy...but I throw on a smile and speak to people if I need too. And it really isn't that bad in the end...of course PTSD is funny in the sense that it is gonna be there anyways no matter what I do to overcome it in the moment I still come full circle to fight it again whether it be 5min or 5hrs, my brain is just wired different now from being in a life or death situation for too long... doctor's say it's as "simple" as that lmao 🤣... remember what I said about the present and how the past and future only exist in that state? ...once it's over with,you'll be like it wasn't that bad or that was simple/easy,why did I worry...so think about how everything will go right and if it doesn't work like that (bc it usually doesn't) turn it into something fun,a game or an adventure for you and your family in the end...change it up a bit...good or bad,it will atleast be an experience rather than a chore...or a burden 🙂 wish you luck!
  5. 2 points

    Epic Fail

    Being enormously fond of exercise and being varying degrees of mental, I have some thoughts on exercise which may or may not be useful. Work out what motivates you, make a plan, consider carefully the free time you have, rule lines in an exercise book and call it something quaint like "My Cute Little Exercise Journey", google shit ... diets, routines, perspectives and really, really immerse yourself so deeply and so thoroughly and ... you'll probably sit there and hate yourself instead. That's when you might pile all that up and make yourself a nice fire. Do it for your body and your brain will catch up. That's how it is for everybody but that doesn't sell books. So you're guy wouldn't do the cesspit? I like that you're obviously not in journalism or marketing 😉
  6. 2 points

    Epic Fail

    I'm really sorry you're going through such a rough time JD. I hope you can keep hanging on and things get better for you very soon.
  7. 2 points

    Starting Over...

    I'm in a similar situation. I've had a bunch of "false starts" in establishing a walking regimen over the past four weeks. One of my weird hurdles is that I sweat even at freezing temps. When I walk in hot summer weather, I get drenched. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I know anyone who sees me out walking wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Everyone else is out there jogging without a single drop of sweat on their brow while I have a waterfall cascading down my face even at a a moderate pace.
  8. 2 points

    ...But I have to "move on"...

    Broken hearts are so hard to mend. It's a true saying. Even time doesn't always help it. I think it's because of all the unanswered questions we're left with. I really feel for you, and something very similar to what happened to you happened to me not long ago as well. I wish I could offer some encouragement but I have none.
  9. 2 points

    A circle has closed

    I'm a "highly sensitive person," which means, "Sensory processing sensitivity is a temperamental or personality trait involving "an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli." Y'all might relate. There's a book, The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron. Life is so much better when I honor this fact about myself and just chill more.
  10. 2 points


    Well! You aren't far away from many of us who feel very much as you do. If I had any creativity, I could have written a similar poem. I've tried to explain depression to my daughter and she simply doesn't get it. I see that as a good thing because that means she isn't familiar with the feeling from it.
  11. 2 points

    It's gonna be a long climb...

    My weight loss diet is, I only eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. When I get to the point of being starving I allow myself to eat whatever I fancy (I try and choose healthy). When I eat I eat slowly so that I know when I’m full and should stop eating. I also drink a lot of water throughout the day. And as a treat, once a week (normally on saturday) I allow myself to have 200kcal of whatever sweet treat I want - dark chocolate is good for curbing cravings, without actually needing to eat a lot of it. But the point is to limit bad foods rather than cutting them out completely, it’s quite a nice diet to follow. I’ve lost 1/2 a stone in one month 🙂
  12. 2 points

    Not sure how to feel

    Thank you but it is okay. I was more annoyed at the reaction from the NHS staff for the lack of reaction on my part. The plus side is that I don't really have to change all that much as I already undertake most of the things they recommend for dealing with Cancer and Phlebotomy. Although I could become more tired and snappy after my bloodletting sessions... I've let my brother know that he may want to get tested for this as well, I lost both my Grandparents to this Christmas 2017 and i'm fairly sure that it was the straw that broke my mother's strength and caused her suicide at the same time (more or less) I'm just really struggling with how to tell people without them changing their opinions or attitudes towards me. I have another meeting in a few weeks time where we will discuss whether or not I am eligible for Chemo Therapy and if i want to receive treatment, leaning towards no chemo at the moment. I remember seeing my family go through it and I really want to avoid it if i can. The plus side is that even though Polycythemia Vera is curable the symptoms are treatable, however over time there is a chance (mine is 90%) that it may progress into a more serious condition such as myelofibrosis or even acute leukemia. Also under my GP's direction I have been told that I am still ok to fight in June. I will have to have an X Ray to check on my spleen after the fight but nothing more Fantastic
  13. 1 point


    Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
  14. 1 point

    Futility and void

    haha it’s ok thanks for your kind words but i totally understand your outbursts i’m just sad i can’t help you more but here’s to a better year next year happy new year in advance (:
  15. 1 point


    I love your way with words thank you so much. I really don’t believe I’m the light though. But you’re right, time is an illusion created by us.. I should focus on what I have now in the present, thanks for making me realise this 🙂
  16. 1 point

    God, redemption and everything

    Absolutely fascinating. Something I need to ponder for a bit (a long bit, given my slow thought process).
  17. 1 point

    I can’t do this anymore.

    Just reading n hearing my words is enough..thanks for sharing my pain with me. Being grateful for what little things I have is all I’m holding on to.
  18. 1 point

    Second depression

    It's never a walk in the park. Don't belittle your past battles. It took courage to get through. This new, and greater challenge you face, is something you can face. And sometimes these struggles are a good thing. They give us strength, and more than that, they give us empathy. Not sure if these words are of any use... but hey, here they are. Maybe I'm just crazy.
  19. 1 point

    This world is f ucked

    The world is dog eat dog or eat or be eaten. Welcome 🌄
  20. 1 point


    Dont worry about it. Its probably just a social media experiment.
  21. 1 point

    life goes on

    nojoy, I know very well what you're talking about. Along with my severe physical disabilities I have to deal with this damn severe depression, but by God life goes on whether I wanted to or not. I live alone and the loneliness kills me but I do volunteer at a local ministry and for the most part it helps me get out of myself but a lot of times wherever I am, there I am with my misery. I tried desperately to be an optimist but that's easier said than done. I do contemplate ending it all every single day but I don't and life goes on. I do hang on to the thought that things could get better right around the corner but that starting to seem ridiculous to me but I hang on. You to hang on my friend and possibly these may get better with you. As hard as it is try to be good to yourself as best you can
  22. 1 point

    Kick in the eye (a nod to Kerouac)

    .. of course we (I) might be going about all of this wrong way. Finding something worth struggling with (ie. meaningful pursuit, meaning of (ones life??) could be the key to a satisfactory life. So I have heard. Yet "meaning", "meaningful", are concepts that elude this nihilistic mind. The price of our complex mind as you put it, @Depressedgurl007, with it's cogitoergosums and heightened sense of "me" and the discrimination between "me" and everything else, is we also have the capability to stare into the abyss that stares into us.
  23. 1 point

    How Can I Be A Fan If I Never Watch It?

    If you're living vicariously through a TV character .... which is something I may have done myself before Cersei died in a freak bricklaying incident ... then get yourself a perspex screen and go hard! Like a footy fan 😉
  24. 1 point

    it's okay that I'm not okay

    I understand. You are not alone. We are out here, battling too. Somedays I am not sure how I will continue to carry on, but I do... It is scary, I am afraid of what is happening to me, like its something I cannot control. Tired of trying one med after another. Its a long road, but there are others on that road, maybe we can give each other a little push ehen needed, a hand when we fall down, to keep the HOPE going, the journey to recovery is hard and takes so much courage and strength. I know you can do it, I know I can do it... One foot in front of the other... keep going... we're all here.
  25. 1 point


    Hold on.. hold on for another day. Make it through that day, and hold on for another day. You have the strength within you to keep going.
  26. 1 point

    What a Load

    Dude, can you get out thre for just FIVE minutes today? At the end, stand still and look around. What do you notice?
  27. 1 point

    Week of July 31st

    That is an inspirational post. I'm still twiddling my thumbs when it comes to an exercise routine. Thumb twiddling doesn't burn many calories unfortunately. There's a gym right next to where my daughter works. I generally have to pick her up at 9 p.m. five nights/week. A smart me would have joined the gym long ago. My daughter is going to grad school in September so she won't be working more than one or two nights/week. Another missed opportunity.
  28. 1 point

    Sigil magic

    I would love to hear more about your experience, jd.
  29. 1 point

    Week of July 17th

    Yikes! Sorry things aren't going so well. I haven't been getting out there much either. It's been so flipping hot and humid. I could go walk in the mall I suppose but I don't even have the energy to drive there, let alone walk around. We will both be back on our feet again soon, I'm sure of it.
  30. 1 point

    Disappointment with family life

    It's not entirely incorrect to say that the husband wants to remain a child. And I don't mean that in any derogatory way. There are many adorable and completely harmless child-like qualities people harbor or display - most of which are socially acceptable (*these days), or even attractive, but prove to have less-than-productive impacts on their lifestyles or livelihoods. In other words, there are people who act like adults in almost every way but tend toward age-inappropriate goals, activities and emotionally driven behaviors. There are some people who appear to be age-appropriate in behavior and development though are incapable of living what could be boxed up and labeled an "adult lifestyle". Eating nothing but pizza and TV dinners, never cleaning up, and playing games all day. Someone who is an adult yet uninterested in doing much else outside of that unless provoked - a whole life of this, year in year out. Nothing wrong with someone like that, really - unless you need them to be something else. Children are naturally dependent on others in the home to provide a clean and stable environment and have their basic needs met. Adult children, immature individuals, never take on that roll themselves without a whole bunch of coaxing, reminding and bullshitting involved - sort of like dealing with a teenager but it's a spouse. Many wives jokingly complain that their husband is the third child. In your case, the husband might be the only child who doesn't want to give up that position. He may or may not be aware this could be having an impact on what is supposed to be a matter of adult sexual health. Quite a lot of 26 to 55 year olds I personally know have jobs, friends, make their own decisions, and provide for themselves BUT "deliver pizzas" all their life, live in their mother's attic, maybe marry someone who is a parental replacement. Some are further gone and dress up like dolls, fictional characters, cartoon animals, pain addicts and unkempt teenagers well into their old age. These people are fine, but tend to be noticeably disturbed, passive-aggressive, irresponsible, making others responsible for their so-called emergencies, they throw tantrums, form addictions and always have an excuse-based entitlement argument when it's time to do anything outside of their comfort zone. I was one of these obvious idiots for a lot of years and still can be. Then there are the adults (who are just as legitimately stuck or stubborn to remain a child) but never actually "act out" in a way you can call them on because of the level of intelligence and some other factors; the protected immaturity is more of a controlled "secret" with minimal demonstration or inconvenience. There is a generalized lethargy in both body and spirit, disinterest in change, some form of addiction, and lack of self care in most cases. Being a father is not anything an intelligent adult child would strive to bring into their life. The adult ego would have to face the fact that there is a REAL child in the room now and everyone else needs to shape up and be responsible and ever on alert for everything thing that does and doesn't happen to this baby for the rest of it's life. People who are stifled dependents of their spouse wouldn't easily entertain the thought of something disrupting that flow, and would naturally recoil from anything having to do with bringing a child into the world. Children are the result of sex and that's enough to deter any intelligent "teenager" or man-child. You brought up gamers as a thing. I know what you mean. It's not exactly up there with alcoholism, but the very idea is rooted in not wanting to enjoy life on life's terms - defending a lifestyle that puts reality at a great distance and making it look like there's nothing wrong with it. You can't be physically and spiritually present in your marriage, nor be emotionally and mentally available to a toddler if the only thing you know how to make yourself happy with is a home life anchored in fantasy. You can't change people, Kiddo. I have never successfully changed anyone but myself, my attitude and what I'm going to do to meet my goals. Whomever is going to be in your life has to be naturally on board - not dragged, pushed and pleaded with. I would not want to see the husband hurt or alone. But it is my opinion that if you want a baby and want to raise the child with someone who has always wanted to be a father without provocation, you need to find someone else - period. Then again, if you really still feel the husband you have now is going to truly be present on his own accord, and will easily adjust to selfless parenting, bring him to a clinic. Harvest his sperm, have the pregnancy "conducted" and just leave him out of the whole baby-making process. It will be interesting to behold his reaction should you ever tell him that's the new plan. You could also let the husband know how deep the resentment is taking root. If he's smart, he'll know this marriage could (or maybe should) end just based on the fact you have reached an impasse regarding sex and family planning - which is every reason why he's here, and possibly the reason he needs to be replaced if a healthy sex life and raising children is that important to only one of you.
  31. 1 point

    Uh oh

    This describes an alarming amount of my life. Sort of LOL. Thank you for posting!
  32. 1 point

    Starting Over...

    Great to hear, guys! Go you! I really have to remind myself on a consistent basis that ______ is better than nothing. Because it really is. I'm just working on making it a habit right now.
  33. 1 point


    I just am curious about spiritual stuff. Also a bunch of coincidences happened and I got a messiah complex.
  34. 1 point

    Progress... Sort Of

    It's great that you can "work through" the pain. For me, walking is a real chore. I get so short of breath and then begin to sweat. I just went for a short walk, maybe 0.5 mile, and now feel like falling into a coma.
  35. 1 point

    Post Honeymoon ~ Reality of Work Life

    Start planning your next vacay 🙂
  36. 1 point

    We Tied the Knot!!

    Congrats, Riv!!!!
  37. 1 point

    My absence; More LOA studies; Vision Boards;

    Welcome back and I hope you're feeling a little better than you were before.
  38. 1 point

    I don't know how this helps anyone

    WOW. Thank you, this helped me. You thought it wouldn't help anyone, but it did me. I don't know your specific details of course, but I can relate. I feel you through those words. It's something I could really relate too, as I am struggling with harming my insides too... It gets scary out in the world sometimes. But I always feel alone too, especially in despair and I often get or see the hope a little too late. When I come out of the depression and regroup my mind, I get that hope feeling, as if one day the Joy will stay with me in my heart for ever and ever. Here's some wisdom I've gathered. I wrote it in a special journal: Sometimes we have to have a breakdown before we have a breakthrough. And what you focus on grows. What you resist, persists. Resistance makes stronger. Complete the past so you don't have to repeat the past. If past memory comes, look at it, observe it, acknowledge it's there, but let it go. Trust the Universe, trust the process. Know it's all coming from within anyways. Your reality is a reflection of what you believe to be true. Decrease the importance of things you're giving a lot of meaning to. Let go of giving things too much meaning. Patterns of the past keep us in ego. Show your mistakes to let others know its okay to make mistakes. Things get better when you don't resist... just be yourself. It only matters how you see yourself. Don't try to control everything. We don't attract what we want, we attract what we are. The day you plant the seed is not the same day you eat the fruit. You harm yourself, as dust thrown against the wind comes back to the thrower. Anxiety deals with the future, depression deals with the past. Stay Present. Ego = the phantom self that runs your life when you're not there as witnessing consciousness. The awakening process is an inside job. Pleasure is externalized. Joy rises from within. Enlightenment is knowing how much you don't know and being okay with that. Nothing changes for the better in your life until you do. Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. You didn't come here to be perfect, you came here to be real. If you learn self control, you can control anything. The greatest relationship you can have is with yourself. Prove yourself to yourself. The Universe reveals it's secrets to those who dare to follow their hearts. Life begins where fear ends. We control how we respond to situations, but not the situation itself. We control attitude. Learn to accept being in the present moment. The things we can't control teach us how to let go. Step into the truth of who you really are, move into the oneness that everything is, and trust the Universe's plan. I hope this helps.
  39. 1 point

    Before it's too late...

    @LonelyHiker My ex spent us into the deepest black hole possible. We got divorced almost 5 years ago. She gets 40% of my salary now (and for another 5 years) and will also get 50% of my retirement. The latter is a state law. I could retire but I'd be chronically destitute.
  40. 1 point

    Went to the park

    Yes it is
  41. 1 point

    My depression story

    @Tears_Always You've been through so much, but your still here. And like you said, you're moving forward. I admire that a lot. I know there's still more for me to experience, harder things to have to deal with. I just hope that I'm as strong as you are when that day comes. And I'm praying that we'll both be able to get out of this dark place somehow and experience some happiness - (even if it's just for a little while)
  42. 1 point

    My depression story

    Good for you for being strong, but still wondering if you got into vet school?
  43. 1 point

    Just a little pick me up

    Yeah you should, take 10 seconds out of your day. I normally only manage 3 things - coffee, cat, sun (thats me for today) X @Depressedgurl007
  44. 1 point

    Just a little pick me up

    Nice. I used to do this but stopped after awhile. I should pick it up again after seeing this 🙂
  45. 1 point

    Mood. Disorder. What does disorder really mean?

    Thanks. And you don't drain me either. In fact, I'm buoyed by your posts. I'm serious. My few friends (all online, nobody in IRL) are nihilsts too. I enjoy being around them much more than the positive people who seem to have all the damned luck. I want to move out of the country. One friend of mine kept telling me how nice Costa Rica is. I finally asked what it cost him to move there. Of course he had been sitting on real estate and had a good pension saved up. Money was no object for him. Me? I rent and the only thing I own is a rusty old beater of a car. So I'm stuck here in the bog too.
  46. 1 point


    I’m happy that things are beginning to come together for you. Continue to work on yourself and hopefully you will be able to do all the things that you have dreamed about doing when you return home. I wish you nothing but the best as you continue to move forward
  47. 1 point


    Aww, beautifully worded and more importantly, beautiful content. Glad you are feeling a bit better. Those horses, yeah. It's hard teaching them to be more mellow, but it can be done and more importantly it is so worth it. Life with a stable stable and mellow horses is gooood. Allow yourself and the horses to get as much relief as you can during this period of unspooked calm.
  48. 1 point

    Does it matter?

    All my hugs and sympathies are now officially tenfold.
  49. 1 point

    Honk if you love DF! 11/02/05

    Oh, Brenshay - what a positive, uplifting post! Thank you for sharing! It's been a pleasure accompanying you on this journey
  50. 0 points

    Still hating myself

    Wow. He's something else. But you knew that already.


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