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Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/24/2019 in Blog Comments

  1. 3 points
    Gisele

    Wannabe

    Natasha, If I can digress for a tiny second, I know I take to myself on my own pages pages with sometimes bitter irony and that's a bit of a topic for me lately. I'm not bringing that here, just so you know.. You play the flute, play the piano, sing, maybe more besides and you at least write poetry, all to a high level. You must. No one shit at anything gets critiqued. You also get to the point in as many words as it takes me to get started. If it has never occurred to you, some of us rather like that! Comparisons are awful but the only 'auditions' I ever won were for gilded cages with no clothes on. I did manage though to graduate in the top 37% of my class. and ... so what. Not a great CV and not really worth idly importing into your space. I say it because remember dangling from that yardarm on my lonely little boat when you and others reminded me of what I was accomplishing. I really hope that the better voices are the ones you can begin to really hear. Truly,
  2. 3 points
    Soarsie18

    Does it matter?

    We are all people who have been hurt in someway, we know what it's like to feel that kind of hurt, and I think it makes us more sensitive to other peoples feelings. If you are suffering and struggling to talk about it, just know that this is a safe place for you to talk, with understanding people, who are just like you. I'm forever grateful for the support I had, and know the importance now of supporting others struggling like I did - the impact it has. - You have all my support Meg X
  3. 2 points
    RiverLight

    Does this site help anyone?

    One way out of depression for me was to focus on a goal of mine, whether that be a small goal or a larger one. When I was in my worst depressed state, I was living at home with my parents at the age of 42, I had lost all independence as I knew it, and my greatest dream had been crushed. I was suicidally depressed for 8 months straight. I came here, and people helped to keep me afloat for those 8 months. I was in a pit of despair. I was only working one very small part time at home gig (consulting) and earning very little money. Well, because I had to earn more money and work full time to get out of my situation, I decided to take a professional development course. I forced myself to study the videos and take notes every single day, even though 100% of me wanted to just crawl back in bed and disappear from the world... forever. But I forced myself every day for two plus months to do this course and to finish it. I took the final exam and failed the exam because of my lack of concentration and depression, which meant I did not receive the actual professional certificate. But I did not care. I still earned it in my mind and added the course to my resume and spoke of the course in interviews. After finishing the course, some time later, I landed a full time job. So, my goals were: 1) to complete the course and 2) to land a full time job. I focused on both the entire summer, and man, did it feel like the biggest accomplishment ever to help myself like I did, even in the depths of my depression. And lo and behold, accomplishing those goals lifted my self esteem again and gave new or renewed energy in life. My depression lifted. I started working full time again and my self esteem soared. It took me eight full months to come out of it, but I did it. So my advice is to focus on a goal you really want to accomplish in life, go out and achieve it -- even if it takes baby steps each day to achieve, at least you're working towards something that will help pull you out of a rut and a hole. It worked for me. And working on one's self esteem does wonders for depression. My two cents!!
  4. 2 points
    kels

    02

    Hi Tymothi I'm so sorry that life has done the dirty to you. I could say all the customary words but then you already know them, so what I will say is that here half a world away in UK, I am thinking of you and share your pain. Take hold of that tenacity that has brought us through the past 40 years and keep fighting. Keep holding on. For what you might ask. Well, for what we always hold on for; the hope that happiness, normality and sanity are just around the corner. You have experienced some of it and even though it was ripped from your grasp, keep seeking. In the mean time seek the beauty in the things around you, let the wonder of nature caress your soul... but don't stop searching. The adventure is in the journey not the destination. You have journeyed far and are wary. Rest, rejuvenate, build strength to face the enemy that is depression. Be a warrior, do not succum to the seductive darkness. Shalom
  5. 2 points
    I can't imagine what this situation would be like if I was still in the grips of my anxiety disorder. I used to be afraid to go out because of agoraphobia. That's long gone but I can only imagine how horrible that would have been. A lot of people are scared, but we can't let it completely stop our lives. If you feel better going out wearing a mask and gloves, a lot of other people are too so you won't be too conspicuous. I too know what it feels like when nobody understands, and you don't want to burden people with your troubles. That's why you can come here and vent.
  6. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    Methinks you will get other awesome opportunities. Don't give up!
  7. 2 points
    RiverLight

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    Thanks so much!!! It turns out they wanted someone who would move to Seattle, and I don't want to live in Seattle! And it was more of a sales role, and I have little sales experience in my field Still a disappointment.
  8. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    So sorry to hear that. Still rooting for you though!
  9. 2 points
    watalife

    Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

    I tell a lot of people I feel and think this way about life and they either say' oh it ain't that bad' or they are just lying and really do hate it. But these people I speak of are on some type of drug so that's not a clear conscious answer. My life is all about survival food and rent. There is no good times because there is no money. My only happiness is buying cheap or overpriced products made in China. Im nothing but a consumer. $$$$$$
  10. 2 points
    sober4life

    Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

    I don't think there's meaning to life either. Everything around us is just random science. There's nothing looking out for us making sure we have a good life. Nothing. There is no reason for everything. That's bull! I went for a walk today and saw a dead baby deer in the ditch. What could possibly be the reason for that? Day to day survival in a cold unforgiving world is all life is.
  11. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    Rooting for you, Riv. I hope you get the job!
  12. 2 points
    RiverLight

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    Thank you!!!!
  13. 2 points
    sober4life

    Career Opportunity Arose!

    I hope you get the job. This is wonderful news!❤️
  14. 2 points
    Atra

    Of Crap and Men

    I appreciate the feedback! I'd never attempt to diagnose or claim that yes, you do have a specific mental health condition. I'm skeptical of the quote above because from reading your posts here, you seem quite preoccupied with suicidal thoughts and that's definitely a true feature of a mental health condition. You Express everyday negative thinking and persistent feelings of being a failure and letting yourself or others down, that's another feature. Okay. Well, what if problems are problems - no matter if the next guy seems to have it worse? Pain-weighing is impossible as none of us is truly capable of obtaining empirical knowledge of anothers experience of pain or suffering (empathy is a feeling rather than a measurement). I know of your pain and suffering because you disclose it frequently and in great detail, so I have compassion and empathy for you because aspects of your pain seem so familiar to me. I have no idea if it hurts worse or more. In any case, should the degree of impairment determine whether we deserve or need understanding, support, treatment and compassion? Nothing is subtracted from mine or another's experience if you seek comfort or treatment. Putting it another way, your struggle isn't somehow less valid simply because someone else's struggle seems bigger. When I read the words "stiff upper lip", the generations that endured wars and flight from strife and poverty pop into my mind. My parent's lived through such times, I deeply respect and admire their fortitude and I probably owe my existence their fortitude and resilience. And, there's another truth I hold and that is they were/are utterly hopeless at identifying and regulating their emotions today because the one technique they learned to manage them was to shut them down until they exploded. They passed that technique along to me by modeling it in our family. It wasn't just unhelpful for living in the world I grew up in, it was detrimental. I don't blame them (anymore), I understand they were doing the best they could with what they knew in the times they lived in. But I don't admire their coping skill.
  15. 2 points
    sober4life

    CoronaVirus Anxiety

    The thing I wonder though are things getting a lot worse or are there a lot more cases because they are testing people a lot more. I just heard something like 90% of people that got tested didn't even have the virus but that doesn't help them get viewers. They constantly have the growing negative numbers of people that have the virus and people that have died. Is it realistic that all churches will have Easter gatherings? No but some will do it. The president will take heat no matter when he decides to open up the country. At some point they just have to risk it before the country is gone.
  16. 2 points
    Floor2017

    CoronaVirus Anxiety

    Try to stay safe and limit your leaving your house as much as you can. if you can wear a mask and some gloves when having to go out in the general public.
  17. 2 points
    Floor2017

    CoronaVirus Anxiety

    that's awesome because every little bit will help
  18. 2 points
    sober4life

    CoronaVirus Anxiety

    This is what I found The plan’s provisions are very simple. Adults would get $1,200 each and children $500 each. At higher incomes, the checks would get smaller: The benefit would start decreasing at a rate of $5 for every additional $100 in income. The phaseout starts at $75,000 in adjusted gross income for singles, $112,500 for heads of household, and $150,000 for married couples filing jointly; it would phase out entirely by $99,000 for singles and $198,000 for couples (with no children). I think I also heard they were going by what we made in 2018 but I could be wrong. You might get something.
  19. 2 points
    JD4010

    Instrumentals.....

  20. 2 points
    Natasha1

    Uniformity...what is that?

    EXACTLY! @JD4010 thats totally what i go through. Or i am ignored. Or im given a response that totally goes off the topic i brought up. or the response shows they arent really listening (or they are too dense to get what i am saying,).
  21. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Zeit

    Ah. It's a detail from an illustration from Dante's "Divine Comedy", the Ninth Circle of Hell I believe, by Gustave Dore. The Ninth circle was the "traitor's "circle(I think). I would be in the seventh circle. That's for the violent ones. Suicides etc. I don't believe hell is place you end up in when you die. It's a state of mind in the here and now. When you are dead you are dead.
  22. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Futility and void

    I'd settle with purpose to be honest. Well-being..I am not even sure what it means any more as I doubt everything and every meaning of everything... Haha. Part of the problem if you can even call it a problem is the realization that I have, in effect, lived in a lie. I have lied to myself all my life. I want this or that, I want to spend time with these people or doing whatever. In fact It would seem my whole life is fundamentally skewed. As to why I haven't done anything according to my true feelings or inclinations..I am lacking in that respect. I don't know what I want. I don't know who I am. I have never known. I seem to be a set of biological functions and that's about it. Now I stand at a junction of what was, The Lie and the road of emptiness (more lies?), or perhaps my True North. If it even exists.
  23. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Futility and void

    ...Ahem..just wanted to say that though all the above is true enough, I tend to go overk ill when my mind goes on a tangent breaking orbit into the great unknown.. and I am truly sorry for the negative outbursts. Sorry @Depressedgurl007. You deserve better than my puerile explosion. Season's greetings and all that. I mean it boys and girls, I hope next year will be better for all of us.
  24. 2 points
    SleelingAtLast

    Petty Things

    So a guy came up to me and one of my lady friends the other night and gave me a piece of paper that said he was homeless,no food etc. (you know the story) and that he was mute and couldn't speak...the sorrow I felt in his eyes was true... luckily I speak sign,and conversed with him a bit about life in general etc. I gave him what I had in my wallet (Im a spend money for the day kind of guy,and am really good at math so everything is covered anyways and at the end of the day any money I have left over,I don't feel I need anyways) but I gave it to him...and some random guy was like he's probably on meth etc. And I laughed at him,I didn't care what his burdens was,the only thing that mattered in the moment...was he needed help,and I had it to give. Don't care much for the details...bc the point is much simpler than the reasons for him to ask or me to give...you got them some gifts,that's all that really matters isn't it? You thought about them when maybe no one else did...and the small anxieties,well I can relate too. (Little background on me I have PTSD) and I wanna hang out or enjoy places,events or things with people but it's hard...sounds and movement put me in a survival state of mind again and it's so heavy in the civilian world,but I overcome it sometimes with shear strength or will... speaking to others isn't my thing and I'm a silent kind of guy...but I throw on a smile and speak to people if I need too. And it really isn't that bad in the end...of course PTSD is funny in the sense that it is gonna be there anyways no matter what I do to overcome it in the moment I still come full circle to fight it again whether it be 5min or 5hrs, my brain is just wired different now from being in a life or death situation for too long... doctor's say it's as "simple" as that lmao 🤣... remember what I said about the present and how the past and future only exist in that state? ...once it's over with,you'll be like it wasn't that bad or that was simple/easy,why did I worry...so think about how everything will go right and if it doesn't work like that (bc it usually doesn't) turn it into something fun,a game or an adventure for you and your family in the end...change it up a bit...good or bad,it will atleast be an experience rather than a chore...or a burden 🙂 wish you luck!
  25. 2 points
    Gisele

    "You have to love yourself." What BS.

    When greeting cards and fridge magnets salt fertile minds, pop psychology is what we get. Self-worth and self-love are not the same thing. Self-worth is the thing that won't let you take no for an answer and try again, tomorrow, to be a genius. All love is respiratory. Breath love into what you do and love will come back. Sometimes we have to re-learn this.
  26. 2 points
    Gisele

    Epic Fail

    Being enormously fond of exercise and being varying degrees of mental, I have some thoughts on exercise which may or may not be useful. Work out what motivates you, make a plan, consider carefully the free time you have, rule lines in an exercise book and call it something quaint like "My Cute Little Exercise Journey", google shit ... diets, routines, perspectives and really, really immerse yourself so deeply and so thoroughly and ... you'll probably sit there and hate yourself instead. That's when you might pile all that up and make yourself a nice fire. Do it for your body and your brain will catch up. That's how it is for everybody but that doesn't sell books. So you're guy wouldn't do the cesspit? I like that you're obviously not in journalism or marketing 😉
  27. 2 points
    AloneGuy

    Epic Fail

    I'm really sorry you're going through such a rough time JD. I hope you can keep hanging on and things get better for you very soon.
  28. 2 points
    JD4010

    Wannabe

    I've masqueraded as a "professional" for 33+ years now. I'm an imposter though. I'm as stoopid as your average rock and don't have a mind for much of anything. At one time, I had a little bit of confidence but that is now long gone.
  29. 2 points
    Natasha1

    Wannabe

    I love you @Gisele. You are a very special person.
  30. 2 points
    jeffreyd

    Ketamine and beyond

    Thanks Atra. I just read your journey with ketamine. Very descriptive, that will help many others I'm sure when contemplating ketamine. Glad you are having some positive results. I never really thought about exploring myself more, interesting to ponder. My pdoc really wants me to become an expert in mindful meditation. Guess I'll be looking into that. Still hoping there is a med out there that can help... Good luck to you!
  31. 2 points
    samadhiSheol

    Kick in the eye (a nod to Kerouac)

    ..and then there is the fact that "forced" positive thinking is missing the point. If our reality is that the/our personal world has gone to the dogs, we need to see it hasn't in fact, to change our reasoning. In other words, reality has to change too. It always struck me as odd that we are told that we should live our own lives as according to our true nature, yet when we are facing any kind of mental health issue its slammed against our face. Suddenly we are told how not to think, how some thoughts are damaging etc. Who has that kind of power? Might there not be a real, tangible reason for our disquiet and inner turmoil? Sorry rant. I meant to say in my roundabout, mannerist way, that you are right. Though I dare say that the "bold and beautiful" are probably every bit as effed up as the rest of us.
  32. 1 point
    sober4life

    My Corrupt Former Employer

    It's very hard to know what to do for sure. Yes think it over. I will say you have 2 parents that think having a business of your own is the right choice. If you did that it would be a business run your way. You would choose the people around you. No more idiots like there were at your last job.
  33. 1 point
    Tymothi

    01

    Thanks for the kind words.... I certainly hope so - or at least help with existing. I really should look into those emotion wheels, I guess...
  34. 1 point
    I was very afraid in the beginning of this but then I got to a point where I realized nobody really seems to know what they're talking about at all with this virus. They'll say one thing and change it tomorrow or the next day. Everyone seems to be lost for the most part during this so I just decided to live my life how I wanted to live it. Whatever happens happens. The madness caused by following rules and guidelines they make up usually for political reasons way more than anything will drive you crazy.
  35. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    Of Crap and Men

    Actually I couldn’t agree with you more. Spot on. Yet there is more going on in any given life experience than moods, thoughts and feelings. There are also the circumstances, past and present, that influence how we think, experience and feel. And it’s in the face of insurmountable circumstances and banging our heads against proverbial brick walls, however much we accept our circumstances and change our outlooks on life and our perceptions, we reach critical mass and collapse. Indeed this is what I HAVE been doing most of my life. I have changed my outlook, tried to see my “failures” as challenges and accept the lot that is my life. It’s all well and good to attempt to change our outlook to see obstacles and mistakes in life as opportunities to “grow” as human beings. But everyone has their limits. At some point some of us just break and realize the obvious. This all there is and it won’t get any better. Some of us just can’t accept that. Some of us don’t see life as worth the effort any more.
  36. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    Of Crap and Men

    or If I could have my wasted days back Would I use them to get back on track?
  37. 1 point
    Atra

    Of Crap and Men

    Ha! I think that sounds like a great idea for the back of t-shirt, wonder what would be written on the front? What I've felt, what I've known never shined through in what I've shown Ah, Metallica.
  38. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    CoronaVirus Anxiety

    Just like to add my two cents..or pence.. as to who is at risk, according to WHO. If I understood correctly one is more at risk for severe symptoms at an age of 60 or above and /or with an underlying disease. As to over 40’s, I quote: “..and those with underlying medical conditions (such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, chronic respiratory disease, and cancer). The risk of severe disease gradually increases with age starting from around 40 years.” (CORONAVIRUS DISEASE 2019, SITUATION REPORT 51, WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION) So if you are in basic good health without any of the aforementioned underlying diseases and you don’t smoke and under sixty(in my neck of the woods they say 70 but better to be on the safe side) you shouldn’t be at higher risk. Keep safe, don’t take unnecessary risks and wash your hands, boys and girls, you’ll all do just fine. (they should have an elbow greeting emoticon.. this is actually politically incorrect under the circumstances..haha)
  39. 1 point
    RiverLight

    Nearly One Year Wedding Anniversary!

    Aww, thank you!!!! We just booked a beautiful B&B in Vermont to celebrate our anniversary!!!
  40. 1 point
    Floor2017

    Nearly One Year Wedding Anniversary!

    Congratulation and I pray that the two of you will have many more prosperous years to come
  41. 1 point
    sober4life

    Nearly One Year Wedding Anniversary!

    Your story makes me cry. I'm very happy for you and very proud of you.
  42. 1 point
    Gisele

    I Dreamed Of You

    I haven't read anything this tactile in a long time. It is really rather beautiful and I feel privileged to have read it
  43. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

    Instrumentals.....

    @AloneGuy, sorry it took so long to get that comment up... anything with a link or image or file in it has to be approved manually, and I just haven't been here as often as I should... Hope things are going well for you, and thanks for sharing! Love it!
  44. 1 point
    JD4010

    I hate you

    Wow. I don't like the sound of that. Not one bit. You OK?
  45. 1 point
    Depressedgurl007

    Futility and void

    haha it’s ok thanks for your kind words but i totally understand your outbursts i’m just sad i can’t help you more but here’s to a better year next year happy new year in advance (:
  46. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    Futility and void

    I can't not think, as I said. I do all that. I exercise. I read. I have a semblance of a life. But you know what? It changes nothing. My life, all life is pointless. And I cannot see past that. The stuff I "can change" means squat in the grand scheme of things(not that a "grand scheme of things" even exists). "Change the way you think, if you can't change your circumstances". WTFF?? For me, that's about as intelligable as saying: Tó emón aeròstromnon enkheleíōn plērés estin. (My hovercraft is full of eels, in Greek, apparently). As far as I can see, life is pointless and for some of us..well, we just aren't even meant to be here other than perhaps as an example as as to how fu cked up people can be. F uck that. I have no intention of living to be old(er). If life sucks now, I can only imagine what it's like, not able to move around, being frail and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I just want it to be over.
  47. 1 point
    Depressedgurl007

    Futility and void

    “So stop overthinking” That’s what is said to old people sometimes you know? They worry about their condition and can’t stop worrying cos they are stuck at home whole day with nothing to do but think so they think n they worry n they complain. That’s what my chairman told me when I told him about my problems cos I’m living with an old person. Then he said we should bring old people out more so they don’t think so much at home. “Stop overthinking”. Gah I dunno maybe you can try that..go out more to places without humans.. Go out n take control of your body n tire out your body so your mind don’t think so much about things you can’t control. Just telling you what my chairman said, so you can give it a try if you have not already 😛 I mean old people overthink I know..since you are already “overthinking” now, can you imagine how your mind will become when we are old O_O
  48. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    Epic Fail

    You WILL prevail, JD. Fxxk work. Do what you have to, but on your free time, even if it’s just 15 mins, do the exercise you feel drawn to. Try not to think in terms of regimes(though god knows I am the same..). Just do what feels right.. I am too, JD. You deserve so much better. Oh, and btw, you are anything but an epic fail. Lose the fail. Maintain epic!
  49. 1 point
    Bulgakov

    life goes on part 2

    Hi NJ, You mentioned "chair yoga." It reminded me of a couple of Utubes I've watched lately. The ones I've watched have been "selfies" but backed up a few feet from the subject. There are a number of short vids that show the film maker, sitting in a high- backed chair. Then they proceed to crawl/climb under the chair, over the back or side of the chair, then back into the seat, sitting up. None of their body parts can touch the floor as they perform this feat. They are something to see, and I think you could get a good workout trying them, if you are under thirty years of age, fit, and had some time to with no other use for. I'm glad to hear you are having some good days, and thanks for posting that. I sometimes fall asleep while at my dining table , ha. It's on a "slide out" platform in my small trailer, so it sits maybe a foot above the floor, and I'm afraid I'm going to wake up while hitting the floor some A.M. I should set up my tripod, and create a selfie of me falling asleep, then waking up. That one I could do. bulga
  50. 1 point
    S, I happen to think there is much truth to that. Our core is mutable and fluid and dynamic. We couldn't go from Survive to Thrive with our same self and the same values, whatever they may be. I also think the values we have at least start as lights in the night sky. Some stop shining and others shine brighter and brighter. I think there must be a real truth to that because there weren't any of the lights shining on the child me that shine on my own children. Can I just say that it isn't often nihilism is as engaging as you have made it and for quite some time. If it changes ... if you find something ... I for one hope I'm still here to read all about it
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