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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/02/2012 in Blog Comments

  1. 8 points

    Does it matter?

    Before I leave, I decided to make a quick stop to the blogs since there weren't many posts in the depression central. Usually, what I do in times like these is take a few days off and come back. It gets lonely, sure. But it helps realize what I want to be as a human being. You are correct that what we do matters. Actions speak louder than words.
  2. 8 points

    Does it matter?

    All my hugs and sympathies are now officially tenfold.
  3. 6 points

    Close Call

    Great words, Man of Sorrows. Jalen you are just to young to end what can and most likely will be a fantastic life/future...
  4. 6 points
    Man of Sorrows

    Close Call

    Don't let the depression win. You are in control of your life, not this illness. You are in control. Reach out and get the help you need. You can overcome this. I believe in you.
  5. 6 points
    Absolutely! I think so, I think I'm going through a transitional phase from picking not so great people and figuring out how responsible I am for some stuff to getting rid of unhealthy people and wanting something better. Though I certainly don't want to compromise myself again it's not worth risking falling into the hole of depression. But the conflict is.. am I setting unrealistically high standards to the point where I'm not allowing anyone in? or is there a point where you must settle? I don't want to get told how to wash my clothes, when to use a coaster, whether I can laugh very loud or not (controlling guy), i dont want to be 2nd to drugs (drug addict guy), i dont want to lose myself esteem either (..ex who caused my 1st round of depression-long story but he was a fraud as in he took up an identity to hide from a string of women he had kids with, as in new name, address, operated by cash, impregnated 3 women during our relationship, he used people). Then again, everyone I know and hang out with is married or elderly. And the new people I meet are the same. great people though. I like that you brought up a good question Gisele, bc now I'm pondering. and that's always good.
  6. 6 points


    This reminds me of a concept in CBT called TRAP. It stands for Trigger-Response-Avoidance Pattern. In your story, the trigger was the angry lady, the response was a depressed mood, and the avoidance was laying down in your bed for hours. While studying CBT I learned that that kind of avoidance only makes feelings worse and spiral down. I learned to find alternate, healthier responses to triggers, that stop the downward spiral. The idea is to replace the TRAP by a TRAC, which means Trigger-Response-Alternate Coping. What could you have done other than lay down in your bed for hours that would have been healthier?
  7. 5 points

    Close Call

    Jalen...im so happy it didnt happen. please please call a crisis line in your area or 1 800 273 TALK. im very concerned about you. you can depend on us here too although timing could be an issue. so please call hugs as always Nat
  8. 5 points

    Cuts You Up

    I would ask my doctor for a different medication.
  9. 5 points

    2Nd July

    this afternoon i baked cookies for little. she liked them and we didnt cry today <3
  10. 4 points
    If I could, I would give you some of my energy and motivation to get started. Getting started is the hardest part. I wish you all the best!
  11. 4 points

    No longer

    I sure feel for you. I have unipolar depression so I can’t relate to your hypomania but for the rest ... I’m a master of the art. I live a lonely life. And often I feel that if I still had my husband around, I wouldn’t be depressed. But then I remember how it was just as hard when he Was around. Maybe worse - because of expectations I couldn’t meet. I’m in a very dark place now and have been for a long time, so I can only empathize with you. With whatever is left of my heart. I prayed earlier. Intensely. But what use is prayer without faith? Real faith? Blessings and strength to you dear fellow warrior.
  12. 4 points

    Absorbed in Self hate

    @samadhiSheol You are an amazing and awesome person. I'm sorry that you're in a self-loathing state too. You aren't a douchebag, you are so nice and kind. I am working on getting help right now, and I guess soon enough I might be getting some. Try to love yourself, for me. Even if just for a minute. Best Wishes, -Jalen
  13. 4 points

    So bad.

    I hate to break it to you honey, but you have NEVER, EVER failed me. You have supported me, listened to me, cared for me when I needed it. Close your eyes and breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. (I was advised to do this after a really bad car accident. It helps calm you down.) Nice big breath in, then out. Is there a hotline where you are? Search online. Please find one. A real, live voice will help you now. Please. Don't leave us.
  14. 4 points

    Just a poem.

    And Jalen gives light And rights dark wrongs And Jalen gives life When singing these songs The dark was in, and now its out For brother Jalen, I punch and shout!
  15. 4 points

    Just a poem.

    Damn buddy, this is some pretty dark stuff...it's not a bad poem though! I hate that you were feeling this way...I really think your active conscious and your high level of self-awareness put you in a very small category of people. Most people don't know why the hell they do/say/feel anything, and they don't care to know. You're not like that, and it makes you different. That being different can make you feel alone, a lot of the time. But I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I understand you, I know who you are, and I love you as a person. I'm grateful every day to have such an awesome friend - no, brother - in my life. Our friendship is something I value and cherish, man. So when you feel like no one would miss you if you were gone, think of me. I'd be heartbroken if I lost you, homie. Besides, you're an invaluable partner to have for surviving the apocalypse. The value of that alone makes you worth the price of admission
  16. 4 points

    Christmas Edition

    lol that was hilarious. I hope your Christmas will be good. AND YAY YOU GET THAT IPHONE 7!!!
  17. 4 points


    I relate so much!! I am also afraid of falling asleep ... and during those times when I am awake, I think I have figured out why I am afraid. I am so afraid of failure that I cannot even start a task, because if I do and I fail, then it will simply prove that I am truly a failure ... thus I procrastinate and don't do what I am supposed to do. Thus, at night, I start to think of all the things that I failed to do, go into a self-blame conversation with myself and because I did not do anything, I get anxious and am afraid of the next day coming, because if means another day finished and I didn't do anything and deep down, I know I will not do anything the next day as well ... and because all this makes soooo much sense, my brain decides that I should not sleep ... because ... wait .. I don't know anymore... I can't think nor focus ... nor make any sense ... due to lack of sleep :(((((( my point is, have you tried to really figure out why you refuse to let yourself fall asleep ... why you are afraid to go to sleep? I believe that we know ourselves pretty well... but for some reason we often refuse to be honest with ourselves... for many reasons ... too much painful .. is often the main reason why we refuse to be honest with ourselves... sorry for this long txt ... I am dizzy and making sense is difficult. ps - your poem made me laugh out loud!!! you should write more ... keep them all and publish it one day! I would buy :)
  18. 4 points


    Dude... Sometimes, our emotions are so far from logical, it's crazy. Highs and lows, alternating from feeling up up up and down down down...it's too much to handle, sometimes. I know a bit about your situation, and I know your options for dealing with this stuff are really limited. I just want to give you some real, honest encouragement that's not total BS...you're honestly doing everything you can right now. I really believe that. You're fighting as hard as a person can, you're being honest...the value of that cannot be oversold. Your honesty is going to be your biggest ally in the fight to level out and find some emotional stability. Just keep using your support system, and like I was saying earlier, you will find your groove and level out. A lot of people with this problem really worry me and I don't have much hope for a full recovery...but I know for sure that if you hang in there, you will be fine. You'll be better than fine. I'm always in your corner, buddy, and I'm not going anywhere. Hang in there, guy. You're doing a great job.
  19. 4 points

    Being Carter

    Thank you for the positivity :) we all need it, regardless of what other people might say. it is not because we suffer, that we need to see everyone else down as well. so thank you!
  20. 4 points


    Hi MayRyan, just wanted to say sorry that you had to go through it :( I felt the same way as you did when I had my A levels a month ago and I felt like I was going to disappoint everyone. Exams were all coming at once, and it was non-stop torture. Everyone was minding their own business and I had no one to talk to because I felt like nobody could understand how i felt. Honestly, it was so hard to study because I could barely remember what I read and most of the time I slept because I couldn't take the stress. As you are in the midst of your exams, you can always PM us when you need someone to talk to. I do just want to say that these exams will not define who you are as a person. :)
  21. 4 points


    My heart is breaking for you I don't have any practical advice...you're already in therapy, which means you are probably on a medical treatment plan as well. The only thing you can do is try to build a healthy support system to get you through the rough patches, and it sounds like you are definitely going through one of the roughest of patches right now. Just know that even if nobody else cares, a random guy in Mississippi is holding a good thought for you. I wish you very well and I hope you're able to come out on the other side of this soon. If there's anything I can do, my door is always open on DF - PM me, don't be a stranger if you need to bend an ear.
  22. 4 points
    @herbaI think you're a very self-aware person with a lot going for you, despite inherent roadblocks and obstacles. I'm really glad you've got a loving and supportive partner, it really does make all the difference in saving our lives when we don't feel like we're worth saving. I'm gonna follow you and check up on you, because I feel like maybe I could learn a lot from you. You actually have something to say.
  23. 4 points
    I'm dumb dumb at interpersonal relationshippery, but being as I used to have an acquaintance who went out of her way to help me out, and was constantly supportive, I have an opinion to express. I went through a hard decision with her. She did try to be a friend, and did try to support me when I felt terrible. But then she would belittle my opinions, treat my ideas like garbage, show zero respect for me when she wasn't in the mood to be nice. And she'd never really apologize for it. She had this basic ... I dunno ... feeling around her I guess ... that I should be thankful for her friendship because I was a social dumpster fire. At times it was like she would completely forget that I had social anxiety and would become one of "those" people. The ones who don't understand that social anxiety is a thing and not an act. And she would do this stuff sober. I can't say there are similarities here between my stuff and yours or that I really understand your situation at all, but ultimately in mine I had to let her spread her bitterness and fly away. If a person makes you feel bad and doesn't seem to care, regardless of who they have been for you in the past, they don't have to stay anyway because they helped you before. This changes, of course, if they were going through a rough patch or some life disaster that might make them P**kly. It's always nice to pay back the kindness. I guess my bad advice for this column is to say that a toxic wart is a toxic wart, even if it used to be a beauty mark.
  24. 4 points
    I know. I'm just tired of all the games and for what? men who tend to be selfish :/ i appreciate your words of encouragement. for a minute there I thought it was just being irrational and defensive. I don't know anymore
  25. 4 points
    Perhaps he realized what an insensitive thing he said and is trying to redeem his actions? Or maybe he just has the old-fashioned mentality that there must be something wrong with you if you are 30-something and still single. Whatever the case, don't let one person's opinion get to you. You stand your ground. I remember the dating game not too long ago, and reading your entries brought back horrific memories. My dear, I do not envy you during this phase. However, PLEASE DON'T SETTLE AND GET LOCKED IN WITH SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW! Sorry I shouted. :-) But really, please don't be hasty. There are a lot of weirdos out there... and liars... and cheaters... and worse....
  26. 4 points

    How are we supposed to help each other

    I don't think people come to DF to be 'fixed', or even 'helped' necessarily, but to find comfort in the camaraderie of others who are suffering similarly. I would also submit that many here are inspired to carry on and keep striving to fight this terrible illness by just reading and empathizing with the trials and tribulations of others.
  27. 4 points

    Cuts You Up

    (((Lady Mozzer))) I'm so sorry you've been struggling my friend. I'm here if you need me. -AG
  28. 4 points
    in the shadows

    When I'm Depressed...

    You are no burden, and you are no annoyance , its ok to cry , you are not alone AG I care we all care for you,
  29. 4 points

    My Latest Depression And Anxiety

  30. 4 points

    The Noise Inside

    i get horrible feelings of not having anywhere to fit around anybody. i am sorry you feel this as well i wish i knew what to say to make it feel better :( big hugs
  31. 4 points


    That woman is no better than you, try not to let someone like that put you in this state of mind. In fact, next time if someone acts like that just knock something else off the rack and make it look really obvious. Then tell her, "Now you have something to be annoyed at." We already have enough to deal with in our lives without people like this adding to it. I hope these feelings pass quickly for you and tomorrow is a better day.
  32. 4 points

    The Life

    Ohhh, you're talking about the Lifescript™! :D Or at least, that's what they call it in some circles. Especially the idea that everyone NEEDS to have kids, part. We all grow up with this idea that we have to follow the Lifescript to be "happy". Haven't they been peddling this crap since at least the 50s? You don't have to bother with it. Not only that, there are healthy online communities full of happy people (couples, too!), who are proud to disassociate themselves from it. People will scream and cry and moan if you no longer wish to follow their precious Lifescript, but you may well end up a much happier person if you don't. Because you're right - the house, the job, the 2.5 kids, the trophy wife/husband, the golden retriever with the bandanna, the car, the boat - it's not for everyone, and it's not necessary to be happy. You'll more than likely meet the right person eventually, and you'll be loved. Meantime - the hell with the Lifescript and all of its guilting. You don't need it. I hope you find the right person who will love you soon, so you both can figure out which path you'd be most comfortable with. :)
  33. 3 points

    Week of July 10th

    You just might be the motivation I need to get moving!
  34. 3 points

    A circle has closed

    Fascinating! I'm always struck by how many parallels you and I have in our lives. I had an infatuation with a coworker as well. It was agonizing, made worse by the fact I was still married at that time. Now I work alongside her without "longing". I have to say, it's much better this way!
  35. 3 points

    Another Wasted Year

    This is beautiful writing. I don't believe it is your fault. Most do not understand the difficulty of getting anything going while in depression, and they do not understand that even the slightest bit of progress doesn't help us feel better. The only thing that helps is complete and total rectification of all the problems in our lives. But that is unlikely. I do not blame you, frien.
  36. 3 points

    Laid off.... Partially

    Riv, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you find a new job soon so you can tell your boss where to shove it.. Muchos hugs!
  37. 3 points

    Feel Like a Failure =(

    Down 20 notches...the RL I know will now climb 25. And if knocked again will rise past the last level. And no...you do NOT want to work for a company that wouldnt allow fir qurstions on your end. That is part of the whole thing...
  38. 3 points

    Ideal Wedding

    As usual, this is like pro-level funny. It's kinda cool that you're planning your bizarre wedding already...I'm stoked that I'm a guy, this seems like a real pain in the ass. I shall make my girl do all the hard work on this, but if she forces opinions out of my, I will grudgingly give them. I want her to dress me, tell me what to do and where to stand, and just ignore everybody in the room but her. As long as she shows up, the wedding will be perfect, to me =P How's that for corny? Oh and I'm ignoring the single toilet at your wedding and claiming a bush outside. Because the odds are EVER IN MY FAVOR.
  39. 3 points
  40. 3 points

    In Love.. Can't Sit Still

    Eazy...the roller coaster is climbing.
  41. 3 points


    Hello again Jalen, first of all never say never. You are for sure a younger version of myself. In public school I had one person that I could call my friend. I was very, very shy and just could not relate to the other kids, not that they wanted me to. I was always last to be picked, if at all, to play sports. I was disabled at a very young age and I was made fun of by everyone for the way I walked. I never was invited to sleepovers or camping or anything. Throughout school I never had a girlfriend. But then after losing my sight, I started going to another school out of town and everything changed for the better, aside from being blind of course. I made friends with everyone and I even got a girlfriend. I got involved in sports, scouts and was class president as well as being the best swimmer on our swim team. My point Jalen is that things can change on a dime, bad happened to me real fast and I wasn't sure at all what to do. But at the same time good things came about and I was OK. Don't sell yourself short, don't believe the your telling yourself because great things can be right around the corner. I hope that you don't have to go through what I did to realize this...Put yourself out there and take a chance...your friend Quentin
  42. 3 points
    no good relationship

    Rage Attack

    Hi I can relate to you, your not a bad person or anything but you carry a lot of guilt with low self esteem and it's not your fault its your mothers you feel guilty about not liking her but she knows how to push your buttons and may or may not know she is doing it. Is she always the victim does she get her way all the time, what about not telling every detail in a event to make her look good. You always get a rotton feeling when she comes home. This is toxic for you being raised by a passive agressive there are certain levels of this and we all at sometime are. the kind you don't want any part of is when its consistent and they do it to make themselves feel better my tobe ex wife is a pro at making me feel and look bad I never new until my therapist figured it out. I was going to write a blog about it because I just figured out why my family has been distant and my mom asked me if I learned my lesson so i have been so depressed its kept me off my feet until I figured out for the last 5yrs she has been telling my family I'm using oxycodone I need shoulder replacement they were prescribing me oxycodone 5yrs ago 1 and half years i was addicted but suffered through withdrawal. It makes me sick to think about it. Major depression from her passive agrressive /narscist disorder mimics the same affects as someone on and off that crap and she has been going around telling everyone That Im still taking that stuff and she knows i dont this bad stuff if you can get away or they hate it when you start calling it out yeah thats right tell her when she does it and let her know how you feel butmy ex knows ecxactly what she is doing
  43. 3 points

    Was I on some emotional high? What-is-wrong-with-me?

    I understand.
  44. 3 points

    Every Relationship Has Abuse?

    Wow. Every relationship (vast majority anyway) has conflict and drama, but not abuse. That's a messed up thing to say.
  45. 3 points

    suicidal, but does it matter?

    It sure does matter. I notice when people stop posting on here. And thenthen I begin to worry a little. I might not check in because I'm wrapped up in my own sh*t but damn it I care. I get picturing your death. I've done this recently. Wanting to go tge same way as my dad and hated that I'd have to wait 30 more years since I think my body is like his. I'm so happy to have let that go recently. You're not weak. You're not a loser. Could you imagine a regular Joe blow going through what you go through? They wouldn't last 6 hours let alone 6 years. Try to get out there and do something for someone. Online or not. See how it makes you feel. Do something for you...for me it's intense exercise (intense for me that is since I'm out of shape). Just those two things. Try them for a while. See where it takes you. Pm me anytime buddy.
  46. 3 points


    Neighbours can be a funny sub-species. Some will never talk about you, no matter what you do to deserve it while poorer examples will cheerfully talk about you all day long, not because of anything you may have done but to fill their own pitiful void. Others will bring your bins back in (my favourite). Others again will bore you to death because they think living next door gives them licence to do so. Point is...let them do the worrying while you do the living ;)
  47. 3 points

    Still On Disability

    I am so glad that you have got such a good support around you and that they are looking after your needs. I hope that with this support they will be able to give you new methods and ways to cope. I hope this will be successful for you. Take care ((((hugs))))
  48. 3 points

    Cuts You Up

    I'm here, too.
  49. 3 points

    Tough Day - It Must Be Me

    What Hiding Pain said, all the way. At least, that's how I've dealt with it, too. Only problem I had with it is having it whispered (yes, again, whispered behind my back) that I was not a "team player", all because I didn't want to join in and gossip with a lot of these flakes in the office. I hate this attitude, because I learned early on from office drama that I had been drawn into, that trying to forge friendships in the work place was not going to be a good idea, and that it was better for me to take the attitude that I was there to work, not get involved with people in any other way. In my opinion, it's a lot more professional to just go in to do your job and then go home and have your real life there, outside the office, but nowadays it seems like you're damned if you don't, damned if you do. I'm another one who can barely stand looking someone in the eye I have no respect for, much less smiling cheerfully at them as if I just loved them to pieces - yet, that's what's required in some offices. I really wish you the best in this!! It's sad when a previously drama-free office goes bad. I really feel for you because I remember how hard it used to be to work around that. :(
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