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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/28/2019 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    Stand your ground, politely but firmly. Fight the fear that this may invoke and be ready for anxiety straight afterwards but you got to set the person doing it straight,
  2. 3 points
    Smallbike

    Hi everyone :)

    I joined a few days ago. I have dealt with depression and anxiety since childhood, and developed body-focused repetitive behaviors a little later. Currently my trichotillomania/dermatillomania has gotten really bad, and I can’t stop. Hoping to find support, and also here to support others since I’ve had these issues for so long. When my brain isn’t out to get me, I like playing music, sewing, and getting outside. I love animals, and I have a cat and a pet tarantula. Good to meet all of you!
  3. 3 points
    Floor2017

    Hello all.

    I'm feel you guys and today I'm not having my meal. So, I'm throwing my tray back at them too.
  4. 3 points
    I got through today without crying.
  5. 3 points
    Picked up my script refills BEFORE they ran out. Considering the past few weeks, that's nothing short of a miracle.
  6. 2 points
    silverkit

    Feeling really really crappy

    Yeah, anxiety and depression can often be exhausting. And you sound pretty burnt-out. What you're describing - the depletion, brain fog, feeling of a blood sugar crash - all sound really familiar to me. I'm sorry, I know how awful it can feel. And anxiety often produce symptoms that make you worry more. It's just a negative feedback loop. While seeing a doctor is a good idea, it sounds like you have plenty of 'life stuff' to explain how rotten you're feeling about anyway. Do you have someone you can talk to regularly about all that? And just about whatever you're worrying about? Feeling like you have to handle everything on your own can often amplify whatever stress you're going through (which is also something I know the feeling of and have utmost empathy for.). And we often underestimate the simple power of a good conversation with someone who knows how to listen. If you can and you haven't already, can you get therapy or counseling? Or a friend you can rely on to just listen, not judge, not minimise, and not try to make you wrong? Also you can always come here and tell us. However stressed you're feeling, you can share it here. As far as anxiety-related burnout is concerned, the one few things I always go back to are these basics: high-quality sleep and enough of it, breathing exercises or meditation, exercise, foods that stabilise blood sugar (less carbs, more fibre/protein/healthy fat), and whatever vitamins you need. I never skip my vitamin D and iron and lately I've started taking magnesium. I've also taken an adrenal support supplement with adaptogens by Gaia Herbs, which I buy on iHerb. That one really helps smooth out day-to-day anxiety. It sounds like you're trying a few different things already, so ignore that if this is all old news to you.
  7. 2 points
  8. 2 points
    I have scratched up, dusty, fingerprinted LPs from the 60s that play perfectly all the through, but I’ve easily damaged 150 gram reissues I’ve paid up to $40 for even though I handle them like crystal vases.
  9. 2 points
    I feel great full for the opportunity to still do the things that bring me some comfort like my freedom to work and to do my own stuff.
  10. 1 point
    The time change will be upon me all too soon - I hate it. I hate it not only because I lose an hour a day, but because here in the Midwestern US the 'fall back' time fits my Circadian Rhythm much better. So come spring, I'm always a little exhausted - I looked it up, its something like chronic fatigue, only caused by having to live a schedule that's just a little bit (hour or so) off your natural Circadian Rhythm. It turns out it's just as exhausting as it feels, losing that stupid little hour. So I"m taking my nightly meds an hour earlier and working my way up to getting up earlier. LOL, when I set my alarm for 6am, I end up waking up at 5am. Set it for 5am, I wake up at 4am..... Ugh. So right now I'm just trying to get the fuck out of bed when I wake up. Sounds simple, right? The anxiety hits me pretty quickly. Doc tells me its because my thoughts are not focused then, that the anxiety is more likely to hit me when I am unfocused. So I am trying to keep in mind things I actually - gasp - enjoy doing. (I know, right? I have things I enjoy now! It does happen, so don't lose faith) Like blogging here, or writing on one of my silly little FanFictions. I"m trying to give knitting a shot - I'll have to put in a pic of the poor excuse for a scarf/dishcloth/whateverthehell later - you'll get a good laugh out of it. Monday, I made a little progress. I managed to walk for just over 30 minutes. I'm going to have to vary my walking route, though, as it's getting a little boring walking past the same houses over and over. I'm also showering in the evening, and another goal is to get my hair trimmed and have a wave put in. I'd say 'permed' but the last time I home permed my hair (it's really insanely thick and wavy) I ended up with a white person afro, not unlike the christian singer Carmen, if you google old pics of him in the 80's. Wow, yeah. You know it's not going to be good when your mom takes one look at your hair and says 'oh honey, I'm so sorry'. LOL. I washed and washed and it ended up looking really curly for awhile anyway. My hair is currently somewhat reminiscent of Sybil Trelawney in Harry Potter. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to post additions to this post this week. I know, it's a slow pace, but it sure as heck doesn't feel slow - it gets my heart pumping, and that's what counts. Monday Feb 25th- 1.94 miles, 33 minutes (hi temp 63F) (ps, this time of year, that hi temp means 'fixing to freeze your sorry ass') Tues Feb 26th- missed a workout or walk because the bottoms of my feet hurt so bad (hi temp 39F) Wed Feb 27th- HasFit 30 min beginners HIIT Routine on YouTube (hint: I did Claudia's 'easy' version & I think I had a near death experience, LOL) (hi temp 25F) Thu Feb 28th- HasFit 30 min beginners HIIT Routine in YouTube (yep, the easy version Claudio does, and yep it's not easy, LOL) (hi temp 28F) Fri Mar1st- missed a workout because we traveled to the city to do shopping after work - so I was walking, just not the healthy kind of walking, LOL Sat Mar 2nd- HasFit 30 min beginners HIIT Routine in YouTube (I must have been doing it wrong because it felt slightly easier, and no near death experiences) Sun Mar 3rd- 20 minutes of Pilates for Seniors (that totally killed me anyway)
  11. 1 point
    Today was a good day no complaints. I have to go back to the way I was living to get through March. I can make plans for today and tomorrow but I have to act like anything beyond that doesn't exist. It's the only way.
  12. 1 point
    Getting up and cleaning something so today isn't a total waste
  13. 1 point
    George11211

    Feeling really really crappy

    AKB48 Thanks for your heartwarming reply. I really needed it. The hard thing about being an adult is people fail to merely sympathize with you. They say, 'oh well you're an adult. F*** you. You're on your own.' Sorry about my language. I just can't describe the anxiety this puts me under. I have much to tell but I will keep all my posts here short as possible. I know for a fact that I need help from a therapist. Everyone else seems to be excited about the move. For me I've always been the one in every group, the 'one guy in the corner.' The 'one with whom his opinion doesn't matter as much.' I've had so much taken away from me throughout the years, and most of it truly was not fair. I really just don't know what I'm going to do. Life has taunted me and tormented me. I've made so many sacrifices for people and got so seemingly less in return. I really wanted to quit self medicating soon but now that's definitely not going to happen. I get nauseous and sick when they bring this up and I've gotten headaches and major stomach aches. I'm not trying to be a pity me but this is just how it is right now. This is what's going on in my life. This is literally one of the hardest things I've had deal with. Before they even brought up the stupid idea to move I was already dealing with tremendous anxiety, OCD, and depression. I literally feel like my world is ending. The worst part is nobody can do anything and, except the people here, nobody else seems to care. Everyone thinks I'm faking my depression and just 'wanting attention.' Maybe the last part is true to a small degree, but only because I've been neglected, betrayed and disowned by teachers, friends, and even family all throughout my life. I'm the guy who's gotten less validation and love. I always thought all human beings need love, and not just from themselves but from others. Its been hard for me to do anything right because I'm just so exhausted I'm bogging up a current but an being swept down no matter how hard I try I'm going over the waterfall. Anyway I'm sorry for the purge. I'm dealing with more then I can bare right now and thank you and everyone else for taking the time to help me.
  14. 1 point
    Alin05

    Has This Worked for Anyone?

    The first days and even weeks on sertraline are not fun at all. In my opinion the starting dose should be 25 mg, not 50 mg. I used sertraline a number of times but the first days are just as unpleasant even the 7th or 8th time I tried it. But I also know that it gets better once your brain gets ajusted to the drug. While probably it will never make you happy, after you get over the first weeks it tends to have some positive effects on your mood and on the symptoms of depression in general. And if it doesn't work even after 2 months, there are many other types of antidepressants that you can try.
  15. 1 point
    I'm watching "Crikey! It's the Irwins" on Animal Planet channel. 🙂
  16. 1 point
    Camellia

    Thinking that you’re faking it?

    @AnxiousGirl123 Sorry about what are going through now. For me i never fake it. I try as mush as possible to hide it. I know the therapist or the doc will always want to bring me far away from thinking about death. I dont think you are faking it because that is the true feelings that comes from inside.
  17. 1 point
    Aspirin. Again. Pain? I have a medical issue, and at this point in this treatment is where I quit the last time we tried it. Apparently, the pain is a good sign, though. Some of my own goo is about to get dropped and forgotten because I'm getting on my own nerves again. Annoying lab partner A taught me something about myself.
  18. 1 point
    If it makes you feel better im not ugly and no one gives a shit about me, atleast if I was ugly I could blame not being able to build relationships with women on that. Instead of me being a mentally ****ed up person that can't maintain relationships with anyone. I see guys way uglier then me with women and it makes me feel like shit. I know if I tried harder didn't fear rejection and or commitment I could have dated tons of women by my age(28). Yet I fear any kind of closeness with anyone so have no friends only acquaintances my life will only go down hill with age. I never had sex either on my birthday I get no calls or cards from anyone. I have nothing to share with anyone anymore and part of it is my fault always finding reasons to dislike people or be judgmental because of jealously, I am a bitter lonely asshole more devoid of empathy then my father who abused me. I came on here to post because I feel trapped in my situation I just can't get over my fears of intimacy so find reasons to reject everyone It is better to be ugly on the outside then the inside like me and end up completely alone with you not giving a shit about anyone else, and no one else giving a shit about you.
  19. 1 point
    Extremebeginner

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Are you up toit. What will be the hard bit that concerns you?
  20. 1 point
    Epictetus

    Hi everyone :)

    Hi Smallbike, I like your screen name. Welcome to the Forums! I hope you will find them as helpful to you as they have been to me. It is cool that you like spiders. I have a lot of pet insects and like spiders a lot. - epictetus
  21. 1 point
    Floor2017

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    I have been in this predicament many times where I was having a lot of problems with a really bad co-worker. So, I just prayed about it and out lasted the person, before you knew it that person had quit or move on to another job. People like that usually don't stick around forever, because usually get what is coming to them
  22. 1 point
    Mostly sunny and 46 F. 🌤️
  23. 1 point
    blueskys_lemondrops

    New levels of Self-Care

    Under the weather this morning.. 😕 You know in life there are areas in which people are further along than me, there are also those who are younger and less equipped. I realize the path I walk is well worn. I also feel like In spite of this, there is something in me that is completely unique, and immeasurable by these standards of progress. It is so special and unique, and I just keep loving my experience, myself, and those around me in order to uncover more of it.. it has a gravity, it pulls me in.. it restores my faith, soothes my pain.. it is truly special. That is why I am so upset when people judge others, hurt others, and seek to destroy others. It is really just our sickness lying to us. "you cant do it" it says. Looking at your fear and pain is tells us "this is who you are." Well I for one think it is time.. time to question.. time to leave the realm of public opinion and fall back on myself.. completely. We remain conflicted because we have lost our self identity. We remain drifting because we dont know what is right for our needs and lives.. Remember who you are.. start mining the memory banks.. start experiencing fully what life is telling you. Just try it.. you might fall, but get back up cause this is YOUR journey and noone elses. And your not gonna get to the good parts of it by avoiding what God has put inside your heart.. to do, feel, think, experience.. we have a compass. ya dig. okay I could go on and on.. but this rant is drawing long. Be well today EVERYONE! Sincerly Yours - blueskys.
  24. 1 point
    3-5 inches on Sunday here and they never get it right so it will probably be 6-10 inches. My last winter here had to be awful to make me leave this place I think. I can't wait to get out of here!
  25. 1 point
    At my age yes that's all I will date for sure is someone that is potential marriage material. When I was younger and partying it was a much different story. Thank god I am growing up and acting more sensibly now!
  26. 1 point
    Being able to sleep without sedatives. Showing restraint without it eating me alive. The moment when someone feels so comfortable with me that they...
  27. 1 point
    SqueezeWax

    What Are You Listening To? #3

    I’m Comin’ Home from The Devil In Miss Jones soundtrack
  28. 1 point
    Haunted Rain

    What Are You Listening To? #3

    True Liberty - Revolution
  29. 1 point
    hocico

    What Are You Eating? #2

    Slices of trout on little cheese biscuits 😄
  30. 1 point
    Epictetus

    New here

    Hi jbee, I was thinking of you today and wondering how you are doing? Are you doing well? - epictetus
  31. 1 point
    It's raaaaaaaining, it's poooooooouring, my doggie is snooooooooring...
  32. 1 point
    watalife

    The Post Anything Thread #3

    @MarkintheDark love that pic 😊
  33. 1 point
    I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping. I hate not being able to sleep - my mood plummets, I get more anxious. At the same time, I've had sleep problems all my life. So I've picked up quite a few sleep hacks over the years. - Give yourself a long wind-down period before bed. like spend half an hour lying down listening to music, read something boring, listen to something non-stressful, before you sleep. Don't watch loud movies, play action video games, watch the news, or argue with people online 😛 You get the idea. Oh, and don't fall asleep with the TV/radio on. I used to do that, but it disturbs your sleep. - If possible, have warm orange lights on in the evening. I like to use these inexpensive LED candles I bought from Ikea. They run on battery and have a nice low light, like candles. - If you're on your phone before bed, use the automatic night mode setting. - Don't exercise right before bed, but stretching is really great if it's not too vigorous though. Stretch out any tense muscles. - Hot shower before bed (but not immediately before) - Do deep breathing exercises. it can be as simple as breathing in for 4 counts, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, repeat. - A hot drink, like Maeple suggested. Hot cocoa, warm milk, or even just a cup of hot water. Hope some of this helps.
  34. 1 point
    Hey @JustAnotherSufferer, I'm sorry to hear that you've been having trouble with sleeping. I know sleepless nights can really suck, but it's especially worse when we're too anxious or depressed to rest. Have you tried taking melatonin or other sleep supporting medications? If not I do recommend melatonin. I may also suggest to get into the habit of drinking tea before bed- if you haven't already. I hear chamomile is a great tea for relaxation and sleep. You'll probably want to drink it 15-30 minutes before bed 🙂 Stay away from caffeine, sweets, or other foods that can keep a person awake. They're not the best things to consume an hour or so before going to sleep. See what other beverages or excercises you can use to help you relax so you can fall asleep quicker and better. I hope you're able to sleep well again soon 🙂 I'm wishing you the best!
  35. 1 point
    surfcaster

    The Post Anything Thread #3

    Today was a better day than the weekend was, slightly
  36. 1 point
    Atra

    The Post Anything Thread #3

    I would definitely show up for Dep Con! It may be a bust if arranged like a traditional convention, though. I already have an idea in mind for the event I want to lead: Three flavors of Oprah for the severely depressed. Talk about your struggles with... Nope-rah. Cope-rah. Dope-rah.
  37. 1 point
    We're on day 3 of a family mini vacation. Today, I didn't lose control when I was feeling tense and hurried and lacking sleep. Late tonight after a couple of glasses of wine, my cousin, my mother and I talked calmly about the mental illness that runs in so many of our family. My mom brought up how PPD affected her after I was born. My cousin spoke about her depression, about her son struggling with symptoms and about our aunt who relied on barbiturates in 1950s. I talked about stigma. I wish my brother would've felt secure enough to speak. He buried his face in his phone but I'm grateful he stayed and listened. He's really tense and he won't talk about it.
  38. 1 point
    Beautiful Ashes As the darkness follows me like a shadow attached to my soul, I see that it is behind me, I never allow the pain to grow, But it's still rooted there like the delicate seed, The feeling undefinable, It changes and contracts, My brain switches the thoughts of your beauty on like an old record player, In the corner of my mind as if the needle goes into relapse. I'll never reset it, I hold my hand over it, The fragility of the cool air below my hand, Separating me from the feeling of freedom and regret. I was the beautiful ashes from the embers of your ever burning light, You was the one thing of this world I loved more than life. I see the echos of your ghostly vision beside me as I traipse forward into the darkness of our bedroom, If the heart was a song,then my heart will always play for you, My keys may rust and the frets may scar, But it will never lose its tune. I am the dust from which I was made, The soft ashes of your beautiful light, And now I hold yours so tight, In my hands,on the edge of our bed in the darkness of the night. Never will I let you go, Whether the shadow falls or always follows, I will hold on,to the only love I'll ever know. Damn the world and what they believe, As long as you are here with me... The shadow of darkness will not die,but... it will only ever be a seed. -Hope you don't mind if I share a bit here as well,I like to use poetry as one of many coping mechanisms as well. I wrote this to envelope the emotions of a man whom has lost his wife and has the choice to move on...but chooses to hold on in the murky darkness of his grief as it is the only place he can feel close to her again...
  39. 1 point
    sober4life

    What Are You Eating? #2

    Pop tarts cereal Yes they have completely lost their minds at this point!
  40. 0 points
    Hidiety

    Going to work is causing panic attacks

    Hello, I am having an issue that is causing a great deal of distress. I work in retail, and have done so for over 7 years now. Almost a year ago I was transferred out of the bakery and into a morning stocker position. For the first 5 hours of my shift I stock the freezer section. That part of the job I have no problems with. My problem is with the final 3 hours. After we open I have to work up at the registers, helping people unload and reload their carts. No matter what day of the week it is it always gets busy and crowded. This is causing me so much anxiety that I sometimes start to tremble a bit and sweat a lot. On top of that I am pressured to smile and display a positive attitude. I'm not that kind of person normally, much less so when I'm trying not to loose my mind. I was able to get around working up front by giving those hours to the part timers and making up for the time with my vacation time. Now I am all out of vacation time and I can't afford to go home early unpaid. I have gotten to the point where I start to crack even before I make it to the registers. Worse still is that after I am off, I sit in my car for almost 20 minutes some days trying to collect myself so I can drive safely. I have Clonazepam, but I am finding little to no relief when using it. On Friday I took myself to my doctor to try to talk it over with her but she couldn't see me and sent me to the urgent care clinic on the other side of the building. The doctor there didn't have any advice for me other than to talk to a psychiatrist and find a therapist again. Frankly, I'm not going through that routine again. I know I need help, and that I am coming undone, but I have tried so many treatments that don't work well if at all, that come with side effects. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job over this but I don't know how to approach my GM about keeping me off the registers.
  41. 0 points
    Does anyone else ever feel/think that maybe you’re just intentionally faking your symptoms for attention? And that maybe deep down you’re not really depressed? I’ve been struggling with this in my current episode. Never struggled with that thought before. Maybe because this time around I’m actually talking about it with a couple of other people other than a therapist—which leads me to wonder if I’m just faking it so that those people will pay attention to me. At times I realize that this thought, in and of itself, is an obvious manifestation of my existing depression because it’s a self-defeating thought. But it makes me so anxious sometimes. To think that I’m intentionally faking the symptoms —it makes me feel like a horrible and flawed person. I went to my doctor yesterday and she asked me how things were going since the med change, and for once I didn’t minimize my symptoms—I was up front with her and told her that nothing has gotten better (which, I have a tendency to kind of minimize my symptoms with doctors and therapists, but this time I didn’t). That alone made me question whether or not I’m just faking all this for attention, the fact that I was more transparent with my doctor than I have been in the past. “What if I’m telling her things are not good, so that she will pay attention to me? There’s no way I can really feel this bad, so I must be faking”. It’s a vicious cycle that has been floating around in my head almost constantly. I also often question whether any of this is real—not sure if I’m dissociating or what. But I’ve never felt this specific way during prior episodes. It’s torture. Thank you for listening.
  42. 0 points
    I’ve been having lots of sleepless nights lately, I just can’t sleep, I’m way too anxious or depressed to fall asleep. I hate having to wake up an deal with life, maybe that’s why I unconsciously stay awake, I don’t know anymore. just had to vent
  43. 0 points
  44. 0 points
    Lis

    Lack of concentration and motivation

    Hello my name is Lis and a newbie FYI- long post I apologize in advance. Background: These past 6 weeks have not been my best so far this year. Six weeks ago I started attending my community college after a year off to work and to figure out what I want to do with my life even though my major says teacher. However, I decided that my passion lies in nutrition and fitness even though I have not eaten healthy nor exercise but its something important to me. This may seem irrelevant but its tie to my depression and anxiety. Current Situation: Anyway the reason I am here is because I find myself again feeling depressed and anxious. Last year I was not feeling good emotions I had lots of guilt, self-doubt, low self-esteem and confidence, depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. I made a vow that this year I was not going to let myself fall into depression and that I was going to let my past hold me back. I thought that going back to school and working on improving myself and to getting what I want to do with my life was going to keep from falling into deep depression. When It Comes To Daily Stuff: But it hasn't in fact I find it so difficult to even get out of bed without counting to 10 even 15 to build courage to get going with my life even though I am struggling. Doing house chores, homework, socializing, calling an uber to get me to school has all become so hard for me. It takes me at least an hour to finish sweeping because I have so many things in mind and usually all I want to do is cry because I can't get things done in time. I really want to achieve everything I want to do with my life but I can't bring myself to do it because I can't focus and my motivation disappears with 3 secs of looking at all my homework that needs to be done. Questions: 1. I've been thinking about dropping out because I feel like I should take care of mental health first. However, I don't want to quit because I fear I might regret it. So what should I do to fight my way through? 2. I heard that adding pleasurable hobbies is a grear way to fight through depression. How should I do them when I feel like not doing anything? 3. I also have anxiety I tend to care too much about what other people think of me and things that aren't as big deal as it seems. What can I do to ignore my inner critic ? 4. Also how can I stop being so hard on myself? I tend to do that often. 5. I also want to be more confident and independent? I tend to depend too much on people and leave my responsibilities on their hands. I know this isn't the place but do you know any ways to study especially math. I am not very good at math but I do want to get better. I am taking arithmetic and pre-algebra and I am having a hard time understanding. I am sorry for this post. Is so long. I am 19 by the way Thanks for your help.
  45. 0 points
    ladysmurf

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    life's so unfair. i cried and stayed in bed most of the day.
  46. 0 points
    Being extremely tired of my life. I am not sure what changes to make that will not jeopardize my income. I have done some pretty bold things like taking time off of school. I made a professional network. That got me gainful employment but I am just tired and bored of my field. I feel like an constant child who makes an adult income. But I handle my finances decently. I have generally lacked the stability to move out. I have extreme difficulty forming new relationships. My parents and coworkers are generally the people I am around and I like to keep work and play separate. And with some of the people I work with, keeping them at a respectful distance is a good thing. For now I will just try to breathe and think in a positive constructive manner. I journal occasionally, but it has just become a repetition albeit a positive one. A representation of a cycle that I would like to change. Thing is that I make decisions that continue that cycle. So, it would seem that I want the cycle to continue.
  47. 0 points
    Tearz

    Birthdays

    My father never remembered my birthday, or my children's birthdays, or even my kids' names. He was a slimy toad. Sounds like your parents are, too. Pay them no heed. You - we - deserve better.
  48. 0 points
    Tearz

    Birthdays

    Strange that you posted this thread. I no longer celebrate my own birthday. Although I had plenty of crummy birthdays before, I permanently relinquished all birthday celebrations after my friend was ********. Her birthday and mine were on the same day. The exact same day. So for me, my birthdays were depressing before, but completely out of the question as there is zero joy in the thought of them now. Some clueless people think I'm just being coy when I tell them I don't celebrate that day, and say things like, "Well, we'll just see about that!" which is also very insulting. Also, weirdly, today is the anniversary of her M*****. Anniversary, another depressing word. Sorry, I am not normally this morose on these boards. But, this is a depression forum after all. I guess you can tell that today has been a very black day for me. I hope yours will be much better.
  49. 0 points
    desperateloser

    Birthdays

    Even my parents don't remember my birthday.
  50. 0 points
    negative thoughts abound
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