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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/02/2018 in all areas

  1. Epictetus

    3 Words Of The Moment

    train ride fun
    3 points
  2. My Cat From Hell. It's Caturday after all!
    3 points
  3. You are anything but. Never ever worthless, @Wisteria. At least online you are not alone.
    3 points
  4. Just want to urge you to re read Mark's message. I agree with everything he said.
    2 points
  5. My unqualified opinion is that your sister has borderline personality disorder. She blows up at the slightest thing, everyone coddles her and she manipulates everyone to suit her. This means you get stepped on regularly. If youre not one likely to stand up for yourself, you suffer even more. You are right to put distance between yourself and your tormentors. The more the better. Yes thete is guilt involved with it being family, and thete is a confusing mix of love and hate there, but you need to care for your own well being. Try to stay away from people who arent good to you. You know you are in a bad place when people online are nicer to you than your family is.
    2 points
  6. Nightjar

    3 Words Of The Moment

    unencumbered monkey puzzle
    2 points
  7. Nightjar

    3 Words Of The Moment

    overinsured cloud cover
    2 points
  8. Just because someone is close to you doesn't mean that they're behavior is going to be appropriate. Actually, it's more likely the opposite. It's hard, because they're the people who should be supportive of you, and for whatever reason they won't. If you want to be generous, you could consider that they may just be unable to, due to their own personal limitations. But often they're just insensitive jerks. You're more likely to get empathy and compassion from total strangers, whose identity and personal history isn't tied to yours. My family gaslights constantly. It's just how they deal with things. Problems aren't problems. Nothing is wrong. Feelings are unimportant. The important thing is to not say anything to anyone about anything. Part of it is because they're emotionally limited people. And part of it is because they really don't care. It's a depressing thought on it's own, but it's just something I have to accept. I've cut off family members who can't be supportive. They're totally optional, and I don't want them around. It's more dificult when you're young and are still in your family's company every day. When you move out, you'll have greater choice about the cirucumstances where you deal with them. Of course, at that point, you'll have to develop the relationships that will be satisfying on your own, which leads you back to the situation in my first paragraph. If that's depressing on it's own, the answer is to cultivate relationships only with people who can be supportive, and lose or limit the rest. That may be precious few people. It may be one. There may be times when it's none. But value those who are.
    2 points
  9. @MarkintheDark I'm so sorry that you lack any support with taking care of your mother. My mom has early onset dementia. It got to a point where my dad could no longer take care of her, even with our help. As things got worse, she ended up in the hospital a few times. Eventually she ended up in the nursing home where she now stays. I'm not sure about all the details, but I know my dad had to go to court to get authority over her medical care and such, and that he got her on disability which is what pays for her nursing home stay now. He still visits her nearly every day, but as I'm sure you know it's so much easier on him to be able to take care of himself without having to watch her every second. I hope that you are able to get some support somehow with your mom, so that you can both be as healthy as possible.
    2 points
  10. Building a spaceship and flying to the farthest planet from here. Somehow I'm sure when I show up the people I'm trying to avoid will be there. They are always there!
    2 points
  11. I'm anxious about finding clothes for a job interview coming up. Wish I had tons of options.
    2 points
  12. Yes, if you want to! It took me a very long time, but I finally found true love. I know what it's like to feel lonely. But I truly believe that if you want something badly enough, it will find you or you will find it. ((((Hugs)))))
    2 points
  13. I saw a tornado coming right for my neighborhood - like a huge, powerful one. It filled the sky. So I went door to door in this neighborhood I lived in (not my actual neighborhood) and people were just sitting on their front porches talking and waiting to watching the tornado like it was a parade or something. I screamed and cried and yelled but it was like they didn't even hear me. So I took my husband and kids and went to find shelter. We found one, the entrance was inside a shed. Then I woke up, and I didn't know whether to scream or cry.
    2 points
  14. You Call Me A B*tch Like It's A Bad Thing - Halestorm
    2 points
  15. You took the words right out of my mouth. Second that. I refuse to give up, though. What say JD? Soldier on?
    2 points
  16. My boyfriend just bought my engagement ring! Now he just needs to ask me after it arrives. I’m so excited!!!
    2 points
  17. Traveling around the country with my cats in an RV.
    2 points
  18. HeatherG

    3 Words Of The Moment

    I like snow
    2 points
  19. hocico

    3 Words Of The Moment

    Mango happy tummy
    2 points
  20. Serious changes needed stable ones hahaha not manic overhauls
    2 points
  21. This makes total sense to be - the reason you do not recognize the narcissistic tendencies in people you befriend, s that they do not seem abnormal to you. It took me a long time to realize that I had suffered from narcissistic abuse and that some of the people I chose to spend my time on were not good for me - because their behavior was the same as the behavior of my mother. I had come to see her behavior as not only normal - but loving. This is not normal behavior - and it does smack of gaslighting to me. She is telling you that you are lying about ow you are feeling - that is just asinine. She is telling you that your feeling are wrong. How can feelings be lies - how can they be wrong? You feel what you feel...period. Your assumption that you did something wrong to cause her to act the way she did and your questioning of your own worth based on those comments is concerning. You are not the problem here.
    2 points
  22. Ken bought my engagement ring today!! I’m soooooooo excited!!!!! It’s absolutely stunning. I helped pick it out. Now it just needs to be shipped and then he just needs to ask me!!
    1 point
  23. I know exactly what you mean. I tell myself that they may be happier but chances are they are more superficial too... And inevitably they will go through the big losses at some point. Maybe later rather than sooner for them. Spirituality says that suffering brings us closer to god and I agree, I'm on my knees! Lol Still, it actually feels better to feel happy for others if we can muster it, no?
    1 point
  24. I don't know if this would be the right place to post, but I could use some help. Some background on me: I am a 20 year old, and I recently experienced an episode of depression. I learned that I have been dealing with anxiety and depression in silence. Since starting therapy, I feel like I am becoming more self-aware of my life, my choices, and especially who I choose to spend energy on/with. I started noticing a trend, which was that I tend to make friends and spend a lot of time with people with narcissistic tendencies, and get taken advantage of without being aware of it. I started cutting out toxicity from my life, but it seems like it is harder with family. Ever since I was little, my older sister has had a very explosive personality. She is very self-centered, and makes my parents and I cater to however she wants things to be. If we wake her up, we get screamed at. If any of us "annoy her," she snaps. My solution to this was to walk on eggshells to avoid setting her off. I remember for example, that she yelled at me for leaving a strand of hair in the shower, so I have a tendency to check the bathroom in case I leave a mess. Recently, there was a moment on our vacation that particularly scared me. I have a fear of sudden, loud noises. I was walking outside to our hotel room, and fireworks started going off. I stopped walking and told her that I needed to wait until they pass before I could keep walking. She responded with, "If someone kidnaps you, scream." And then left me there. When I finally reached the room and explained to her why I had to stop, she told me that I made the choice to not go with her, and that it had nothing to do with my fear. She then starts yelling at me, saying that she has a "fear of me acting crazy like this" and "fears me going missing." I was crying and had enough. I tried to tell her that all I needed in that moment was compassion. And she said it's not who she is. After my mother came in and spoke to her, she finally apologized. But when I asked her why it took so long for her to listen to me, she said "you have a tendency to lie about things." I started crying profusely and had to leave the room. I started having a panic attack and felt suicidal - what if I made a big deal over nothing, like she said, and this was my fault? What if I was being difficult, making a scene and acted crazy, like she told me? Am I a compulsive liar? I am trying to spend less time around her. But I feel really guilty. She called off her engagement recently (in March), and I tried to support her through the breakup, despite everything. We watched movies together, and I talked to her to cheer her up and get her excited for dating again. Now with single life, she's been worse than ever. She's constantly yelling at me and my parents like she's a rebelling teenager, going out with guys and her girlfriends all the time, etc. She barely speaks to me. I fear that she is not handling the breakup well and has underlying issues as well. My mom tells me to let it go because she's going through a hard time. So I feel guilty. But at the same time, I am very hurt and upset and feel like I need time to just feel angry. I know this is long and can use some help please.
    1 point
  25. hocico

    3 Words Of The Moment

    Always time others
    1 point
  26. A version on youtube (The Bible Ep 2 Of 10 Exodus)
    1 point
  27. Not too bad today. Meditation is helping straighten out my mind and get my priorities straight. I have a little action plan now and am giving myself LOADS of time to tick off each goal. Less pressure works best for me!!
    1 point
  28. Wouldn't it be nice if they made noise canceling headphones for dogs?
    1 point
  29. Well I hope same for you i To also know it’s very hard to pretend everything is okay I really hope all the best for you
    1 point
  30. I hope that you heal from whatever you are going though and that your family is more understanding and supportive. My family doesn’t understand my pain either and it’s hard to pretend that everything is ok.
    1 point
  31. I'm thinking about tomorrow when I will take a friar on a train ride.
    1 point
  32. I'm so sorry, Devlinkyla, You deserve to be understood and appreciated. Hopefully we can give you the understanding and compassion, the encouragement and consolation which your family is not offering you ! ! ! Welcome to the Forums ! ! ! - epictetus
    1 point
  33. Chef John from Food Wishes make a Greek salad.
    1 point
  34. I care. I always will. I wish you could find peace and happiness in this world.
    1 point
  35. 20YearsandCounting

    Hey There

    Welcome to DF, cam. I look forward to hearing more from you! Glad you are here.
    1 point
  36. Tired and dreading this evening's checkup visit with Mom. Found things amiss last night that I corrected. She's still confused on her pills, even in clearly labeled boxes. She's having trouble caring for herself and I have ZERO support, even from her church whose members have repeatedly assured me they'd check in on her. I'm ready to read them the riot act. I'm stuck with this the whole long weekend until her physical therapist and nurse start showing up weekdays. I may simply have to drop her off at the ER if I reach the point I can't manage any longer. It's lousy, I know. But everyone's abandoned me. And, yeah, as Mom's caregiver, I am focused on me and making sure I'm in some kinda shape to tackle this.
    1 point
  37. Kate Bush - Babooshka, The Dreaming
    1 point
  38. What is best in life Donald? Making your pastries, seeing them sold before you and hearing the lamentation of the customers. sorry I was watching Conan earlier
    1 point
  39. Ugh, I totally understand. Most of my clothes no longer fit and even if they did I don't want to go in public looking like this. I feel so disappointed in myself.
    1 point
  40. Steveab63

    Heartbroken

    Sorry youre gaving trouble with therapists. Unfortunately it can take a few tries to find someone youre comfortable with. Cant say ive ever had to endure a therapist that bragged about himself though. Next...
    1 point
  41. Steveab63

    Hey There

    Hi Cam. There are lots of nice people here that get how you feel. Welcome.
    1 point
  42. All of the planning Cleaning Organizing Keeping upping
    1 point
  43. Angel of the Morning ~ Merrilee Rush and the Turnabouts (1968) Definitely a haunting song.
    1 point
  44. hocico

    3 Words Of The Moment

    AHA! yes it does
    1 point
  45. HeatherG

    3 Words Of The Moment

    Yes Abba does
    1 point
  46. Fed and played with cat for half an hour in the am Cleaned sink Showered Put bins out Went to library then did two laps around the park Came home, fed and played with cat for 5 minutes Trying to motivate self to do some dishes. Not happening right now
    1 point
  47. Fitful sleep ate a pineapple upside down cake for "breakfast" Watched some TV on demand had lunch took a shower got ready to go out, and realized my keys were missing had a fit looking for my keys, only to find them deep within the dog's toy box picked up my husband drove in pouring rain and thunder to the restaurant we were meeting at waited far too long for a table had a good meal turned around and drove home in, thankfully, less rain got home safe; relaxed with a coffee on the couch watched part of an Undercover Boss marathon lying in bed now
    1 point
  48. How to deal.
    1 point
  49. Welcome to DF, justonce23. It's great that you are going to therapy - it will help you sort things out. And I think Jessiesmom is absolutely right - your sister is twisting things and manipulating you. You have a right to your feelings, and you have a right to have those feelings respected. Like jessiesmom said, how can feelings be lies? The idea is crazy. And to accuse you of 'acting crazy' sounds like she might be projecting some of her stuff onto you. I've had someone do this to me in the past, and it took a long time for me to recognize it, and realize that this person was actually wrong about me. I had to continually remind myself that my behavior was appropriate, and that person was the one who was out of line. It sounds like common sense, but it was really hard for me to see and change how I reacted to that person. Ever since I have been able to realize that, and realize that that person's words were not true, it helped a lot in how I dealt with that person.
    1 point
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