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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/29/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I pushed myself on a long walk last night in the heat and humidity. I actually enjoyed it. Wound up walking past the state governor's mansion, which is colossal and surrounded by a high black iron fence. I spat onto the lawn just for the symbolism (we have a horrible governor who cheats and lies routinely--but isn't that what politicians are supposed to do?). Anyway, I'm enjoying my walks again.
  2. 2 points
    Epictetus

    Brain blocked?

    I have had that feeling too.
  3. 2 points
    So do I, @babyxgothxx!!! So much. So so much!! This is one of those nights for me that I lack confidence in what to say. I started a text to my daughter and an Email to my friend that I abandoned because I was questioning myself. I read on here of others that deal with this too. Some nights, I can opine freely and feel confident in what I say. Not tonight, for whatever reason. But one thing I will say is that I am confident that there is a need for you to exist. You have a huge heart, BG. Our world needs you! You have added so much to my life and I know you have added to others, and will to others and others multiplied over your time. Most love, biggest hugs, and the most healing peace to you, my UK friend! Brian
  4. 2 points
    surfcaster

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Lose control by evanscence
  5. 2 points
    Pain of Salvation - "Iter Impius" Life turned its back on us How could you just agree?
  6. 2 points
    While My Guitar Gently Weeps ~ The Beatles
  7. 1 point
    Gal5078

    Trying something new

    Hi, So, i guess I'll just rant for a second? I don't have diagnosed depression or anything but I've been feeling down lately and I don't really know what to do. I started college recently and I'm home for the summer, and I'm really proud of myself for getting where I am now. I started getting bogged down after spring break and I just wanted to be back home all the time. That's where my best friend is, and even though we talk on FaceTime and text and stuff I was really missing her. I haven't made any friends at college other than acquaintances and I haven't been to any parties, not that I really want to, but I haven't done any of the stereotypical college stuff yet. I haven't went out to eat with a friend yet, I don't have any pictures with anyone, and I love the campus and the city but I haven't been able to explore it since I haven't had anyone to share it with. I blame this on how much I work and study, but I'd happily make time for friends if I could. And I've tried joining clubs, but I got to the point where I've quit about everything because I don't feel like leaving my room. I was hoping that coming home for the summer would really help me, because that's all I wanted to do while I was at school, but now I'm getting back into the same routine I had at school. I go to work, then stay in my bed when I'm at home. I used to really really love playing video games and reading books and watching movies but I haven't been able to do those at all. I tried to make myself play a game and treated myself to getting a new one and I totally redid my gaming setup and my bookshelf but I can't manage to focus long enough to do anything. I really just want to talk to someone, but I am so so afraid of going to a therapist. Im from a small town and I've had 2 awful experiences and I'm too afraid to go again or bring it up to my family that I'd like to go, so I'm not. Thanks for listening, even typing that out felt pretty good to admit. Gal5078
  8. 1 point
    surfcaster

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Sorry you feel this way but you are strong and you'll get through it, keep your head up and be good to yourself
  9. 1 point
    babyxgothxx

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Welcome to the forum, tamjez! ❤️ Is that you on your profile picture? You are beautiful! I really mean that
  10. 1 point
    lonelyforeigner

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    That's a good idea. Cats in general have a very low sense of thirst and in the wild they would be eating meat that contains plenty of fluid. Dry food isn't ideal since it can lead to them being chronically dehydrated which can then lead to kidney issues. Best to mix it up a bit.
  11. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Not all cats, but there sure seems to be a tendency towards urinary tract issues. Males are more prone than females apparently--but both of my females have issues.
  12. 1 point
    Two weeks later and still asking myself the same question: how can I find the energy to get started?!? I am tired of having no energy - being depressed and feeling like a blob of nothingness.
  13. 1 point
    Sophy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Are all cats prone to kidney disease JD? I have two little strays (both 12 months old now). They have both dry and wet food "available" but 9 times out of 10 will choose the wet. I will try adding water and hopefully they will still eat it. One of them is insanely fussy (especially for a stray, haha!!)
  14. 1 point
    I can sense your "agony". I had no complain with my job, working life in Germany was too good. But after I saw few of my colleagues died at their late 40s or early 50s, I started to question about everything related to job and money. And then I resigned and returned. Now I have freedom to do whatever I like. And I should really be thankful for my job for being in this situation. I hope you will plan/work on your personal finance and hopefully you will find the freedom in coming years. You can do it!
  15. 1 point
    Sophy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    What do you feed them JD, to help re kidneys?
  16. 1 point
    JD4010

    Brain blocked?

    Yes...as if my body is on autopilot.
  17. 1 point
    Since I quit drinking, I'm able to walk longer distances without being constantly out of breath. I'm down to one lung the way it is so anything that compromises my breathing is dangerous. Getting away from booze is the best thing I ever did...and I'm able to walk longer distances again. It feels great!
  18. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I feel very physically healthy right now. I feel like I could run across the country right now. Mentally I lost that battle long ago.
  19. 1 point
    Waffles

    Brain blocked?

    The best way I could describe it was like feeling an open palm pushing my head backwards (from between my eyes) while trying to concentrate on an object in-front of me.
  20. 1 point
    Gman992

    Brain blocked?

    It that i can function, but I still having trouble concentrating.
  21. 1 point
    Chris27_

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    To you guys feeling sad, i love you. Do something small you enjoy. Sometimes i just have a cup of tea with biscuits (yes English) but i enjoy that for a few minutes at least, like 'Yeah, this is some good tea'. I've had insomnia all night. Its 5am and i have things to do today ugh. At least when you have a partner you can just have sex a couple times and then im out like a light. Oh well.
  22. 1 point
    I would lead this into a beginning, Demonstration of ancient antiquity, But the moment grows evermore, A constant struggle of my humility, As I pass the hand that grasps me a plan, As I make my marks of glyphs and lines, I arrive to question the creation's demand, The pen is to never keep up with the times,
  23. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I'll get a good night sleep. I'm always very comfortable around this person so I'm not worried. I can't believe how far I've come. At my worst I was reclusive and unable to talk to anyone. Now I'm usually very confident and strong speaking with people. I used to be afraid of everyone but my fear is gone. When I'm mowing I always take Gatorade with me. It's very fast acting and has saved me tons of times.
  24. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I want you to keep existing.
  25. 1 point
    @JD4010 You're certainly NOT worthless. You brought a wonderful daughter into the world, you care for your cats, and you help so many people here. We do what we can. Like my Mom having to adapt to living with Multiple Sclerosis, and other life events, somehow we find a way to cope. Sending hugs to all of you.
  26. 1 point
    It's frustrating to go through life using only a fraction of my potential. It's frustrating to helplessly watch my youth waste away before my eyes. I try not to think about it. Mindfulness helps me recognize negative thought patterns before they get the better of me. I try to write at least three things I'm grateful for every day. I try to do the best I can under the circumstances.
  27. 1 point
    velvetpuddles

    what are you watching right now?

    Firefly!! It's been so long since I've seen it, I forgot how funny it is! 😂
  28. 1 point
    TiredDad

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I remember back when I was in high school and college I would crush. I would get obsessive about someone. Never actually acted. Never asked a crush out. In some cases I was friendly with the person, but I would secretly obsess about them. What I learned was this: your image of the person, who you think that person to be? That person does not exist. They are NOT who you are idealizing them to be. They are just another flawed human being. It didn't actually take dating a crush to uncover this. If you just really think about it, your image of that person CAN'T exist. Get to a place in your mind where you can enjoy things. Once you get there, find someone who also enjoys most of those things you do. Whatever you do, don't settle on someone just because they "put up with you".
  29. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I hope I never see my crush again. I hope I never have a crush again at least not how it's always been. Crushes have ruined my life. I focus only on the person and the rest of my life goes away. I won't do it again. I feel free now and maybe happy at times for a change. I want real love one day but I can't expect someone out there to make up for all of the abuse and neglect I've been through. It's not fair to that person. I'm closing in on a year sober and that's all I'm going to focus on. Maybe after that I'll be emotionally stable enough to be good for someone out there.
  30. 1 point
    MommyofPrecious

    What Are You Reading?

    I just finished Amy Tan's The Bonesetter's Daughter, spent some late nights it was so absorbing. Today, a random novel of suspense I paid 40 cents for in the thrift store. Laila's pic, Dan Brown's Origin, is on my wish list, can't afford it yet....
  31. 1 point
    I am sorry to hear that you felt letdown after meeting your CO. Oftentimes we have certain expectations when it comes to meeting our COs and more times than not, it isn't what we expected or wanted. I was on cloud nine after meeting mine but I also felt letdown and depressed because it all happened so fast and we had to part ways. I hope you felt a little something good when meeting your CO something you can look back fondly on.
  32. 1 point
    Deep_joy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I feel I have got some extraordinary power, specially bringing lightning bolts and rain when I am most depressed and sad. But actually it's monsoon here in West Bengal, India. 😀
  33. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    You can always go to an air conditioned place like a mall to walk. I'm glad you are feeling better!
  34. 1 point
    Lady Mozzer

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Leave Me Alone ~ New Order
  35. 1 point
    That must've been amazing to do! Even makes me a little jealous that I don't have anything like that from passed loves to repurpose! I suppose I could paint on photos... that might actually be pretty cool. Do you still have that painting? I'd never let it go...as a reminder of your ability to move on and transform, no pain needs to be permanently debilitating, that sort of thing!
  36. 1 point
    surfcaster

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Rose tattoo by dropkick murphys
  37. 1 point
    Barrier Maiden

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Perturbator - "Sentient" I’m shutting down Shutting down, shutting down Shutting down my brain I feel it now, feel it now Such seductive pain I know it’s wrong And the warning keeps flashing bright I don’t know which pain to listen to Is it feeling, or being right?
  38. 1 point
    velvetpuddles

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    November's Doom - The Pale Haunt Departure album Why on earth have I not listened to this music for so long??
  39. 1 point
    Sophy

    Getting Started Doing Right

    Nicotine links into similar receptors in your brain as the really hard drugs like hero*n do. Not everyone who smokes gets physically addicted to nicotine, but for those that do, quitting is as physically difficult as going cold turkey from hard drugs. So if you trip up, be kind to yourself and if you are succesful at quitting, give yourself HUGE kudos! Biochemically, this is no small feat! Also, if you have been using nicotine as stress-relief or as an emotional escape, then your system will need new forms of stress-relief and emotional escape, now that nicotine is not an option. Try and find stuff that you LOVE - as @samadhiSheol said. If you feed your soul positive stuff, then it will stop going into hiding and start seeking out life and things like exercise and healthy food, of its own accord. Your soul is not lazy or dumb and it doesn't need some army drill to get it to behave "properly". Give your soul the TLC it needs and it will regenerate and start to blossom again.
  40. 1 point
    StillStandinTall

    Getting Started Doing Right

    @velvetpuddles smoking - yeah quit that. Went four years then one day decided to smoke again. Went about 10 months smoking. I have a little over 6 months nicotine free. I think quitting has a link to my anxiety & depression I'm going thru now.... I know what you mean about starting over to break an addiction. The cycle I'm in now makes me think of the struggles I had with quitting.... that's one reason I feel like a failure as this is simple stuff?!? This is a battle I'm fighting alone - one of the reasons I'm here aka the community 😎
  41. 1 point
    StillStandinTall

    Getting Started Doing Right

    @velvetpuddles @MarkintheDark I get these gandious ideas of what I should be doing. I picture myself working out, eating right, doing good things for myself - and feeling good. I know life would be so much better if I was doing all the 'right' things.... I promise that I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. I go nowhere - the lie perpetuates and makes me feel like a complete failure. This has been going on for far too long. Gaining even a little momentum is so hard. I know I need to keep fighting but I just want to crawl into my cave and isolate myself. @BeyondWeary thanks for the suggestion - maybe a book will help put together a plan. These words may seem ignorant but somehow I need to pull myself up and break this vicious cycle of nothingness.
  42. 1 point
    I struggle so much in school and the teachers always look past it. And, it’s not like I never asked for help. I did, plenty of times. But it seemed like those cries went unanswered and maybe because I was their favorite student. I mean, school would be much easier if I didn’t spend my nights crying (sometimes for no reason).
  43. 1 point
    Thanks twitchy, that was good advice.....I try to follow that too because I couldn't get into the dream career I wanted to either, but it hurts. You can't imagine how much it hurts. Some days I start crying because I never made it. I am hoping that I will get my anxiety/depression on some type of control soon so I can at least have some type of life. Anything is better than being stuck at home. I'm looking into Ketamine it's my last resort at this point.. BTW, don't you guys get mad that there isn't enough research and funding going into research or anything as far as mental health? In a few years depression is supposed to be like the #1 illness in the world affecting people......I mean I go to retailers and they ask for donations for cancer, or other stuff, but never have I gone anywhere, or seen a national walk to raise awareness aside of NAMI (they national walk they do) unless I'm wrong. That's really messed up considering how many people are suffering.
  44. 1 point
    I'm sorry . i wish I could give you some advice but I feel the same way. This illness is terrible and it destroys your life. I couldn't handle a full-time job either because I got too depressed and I'm treatment-resistant... It was too stressful, in the end I couldn't even handle a part-time job so I gave up. Are you getting help or any therapy? It's not your fault this illness is destroying your life, I didn't choose it, you didn't either. Try not to be hard on yourself, and just do the best you can that's all we can do. I never imagined my life would turn out this way either, but blaming myself because this illness destroyed me is not the answer. The medical field has no answers or relief for me, so why should I be hard on myself? I've tried for decades to live a functional life and I can't. After a while it gets to you. I really hope the medical field looks into mental illness more than they currently are, because way too many people are suffering and it's not fair. I get really mad when some people say its not real, grow up, etc.. I wish there were walks for mental illness to raise money just like there are for other diseases, why can't we count?
  45. 0 points
    tamit

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I feel so upset. Been working out so much and I see my self looking fat all the time no matter what I do and at times I over eat and purge and sometimes I don't know what I look like anymore or if my mind is playing tricks on me. :C
  46. 0 points
    samadhiSheol

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Empty and stuck. I’m going nowhere fast, boys and girls. Just like I always do.
  47. 0 points
    That is indeed a great thing! I want to retire from this circus so badly. Here in the US, we are expected to work until we croak--unless we are somehow wealthy through other means.
  48. 0 points
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    First thing I thought to myself upon awakening: "I wish I would just die." I know that's pathetic. But that thought is always lurking right below the surface.
  49. 0 points
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Same here! 32C degrees and very high humidity. If I wanted tropical weather, I would live in the tropics. I hate hot weather!
  50. 0 points
    I’m just so tired of living like this though. Some days when I go in to work I want to just break down due to how depressing my life is at my age. I make a little over minimum wage being a cashier & it’s so depressing. I sometimes say out loud in my car on my way to work about how I wish I was dead & wonder why I’m even still here like what’s the point. I’m sick & tired of this. I feel trapped in my mind & body & see no way out of this. All I do in my life is either at my s***ty job, on the internet or playing video games. I gave up on the whole girlfriend thing since I’m not realistically well enough to be with anyone. I didn’t feel like coming on here anymore Biotching about something I’ll never have & try not to think about anymore. My life is ruined at this point. I had my whole life ahead of me at one point now it’s destroyed.
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