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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/29/2018 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    Gman992

    Brain blocked?

    Has anyone else feel that their brain is being blocked? It just feels that the juices are just not flowing? Especially in the frontal lobe. Before I got depressed, I just remember my head getting really anxious and as if all the juices flowed away. I keep on bringing this up with doctor, but I don't think that she is understanding what i am saying.
  2. 3 points
    Waffles

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    New Retro Wave - End of 2017 Mix (The future beckons)
  3. 2 points
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I pushed myself on a long walk last night in the heat and humidity. I actually enjoyed it. Wound up walking past the state governor's mansion, which is colossal and surrounded by a high black iron fence. I spat onto the lawn just for the symbolism (we have a horrible governor who cheats and lies routinely--but isn't that what politicians are supposed to do?). Anyway, I'm enjoying my walks again.
  4. 2 points
    hocico

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Rammstein - Du Hast
  5. 2 points
    Epictetus

    Brain blocked?

    I have had that feeling too.
  6. 2 points
    So do I, @babyxgothxx!!! So much. So so much!! This is one of those nights for me that I lack confidence in what to say. I started a text to my daughter and an Email to my friend that I abandoned because I was questioning myself. I read on here of others that deal with this too. Some nights, I can opine freely and feel confident in what I say. Not tonight, for whatever reason. But one thing I will say is that I am confident that there is a need for you to exist. You have a huge heart, BG. Our world needs you! You have added so much to my life and I know you have added to others, and will to others and others multiplied over your time. Most love, biggest hugs, and the most healing peace to you, my UK friend! Brian
  7. 2 points
    Well I Wonder ~ The Smiths
  8. 2 points
    Called an old friend i hadnt talked to in a long time, took 4 tries to actually dial
  9. 2 points
    surfcaster

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Lose control by evanscence
  10. 2 points
    This Charming Man ~ The Smiths
  11. 2 points
    Pain of Salvation - "Iter Impius" Life turned its back on us How could you just agree?
  12. 2 points
    I will never understand my body, but I just got a solid 4+ hours of sleep at night after days of being nocturnal again. I'll take it.
  13. 2 points
    While My Guitar Gently Weeps ~ The Beatles
  14. 2 points
    Yes, me too. This is often running through my head as well. I can pinpoint specific instances when my mental health got in the way of something I wanted, and that's on top of all the other ways it's affected my life that I don't even realize. Anyway, I'm of a similar age (30) and have the same feelings as you. Like JD, I've been told all my life how smart I am. And yet, here I am, with a college degree even, working as a cashier and then an underpaid desk jockey currently. I have definitely squandered my potential. I could've been anything, I know it, but my depression and anxiety got the best of me and I stalled out a long time ago. I don't yet know how to recover that potential. I'm sure there's a way. We are still young enough, I don't think it's unusual for 30-somethings to change careers, change their lives, etc. For any age, really. There's no age limit to change. But I think we all feel the same hopelessness, and that's what's holding us back. Like I said, I don't know how to change it, though. I'm in the same boat as the rest of you, adrift at sea. I agree fully! Those are two thoughts that I'm trying to hang onto as well.
  15. 1 point
    StillStandinTall

    Getting Started Doing Right

    I know I need to eat right, exercise & do other self care items but it's so hard to get started Any tips on finding the discipline (and energy) to build the habits of doing the 'right' things?
  16. 1 point
    surfcaster

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Sorry you feel this way but you are strong and you'll get through it, keep your head up and be good to yourself
  17. 1 point
    lonelyforeigner

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    That's a good idea. Cats in general have a very low sense of thirst and in the wild they would be eating meat that contains plenty of fluid. Dry food isn't ideal since it can lead to them being chronically dehydrated which can then lead to kidney issues. Best to mix it up a bit.
  18. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Not all cats, but there sure seems to be a tendency towards urinary tract issues. Males are more prone than females apparently--but both of my females have issues.
  19. 1 point
    Two weeks later and still asking myself the same question: how can I find the energy to get started?!? I am tired of having no energy - being depressed and feeling like a blob of nothingness.
  20. 1 point
    I can sense your "agony". I had no complain with my job, working life in Germany was too good. But after I saw few of my colleagues died at their late 40s or early 50s, I started to question about everything related to job and money. And then I resigned and returned. Now I have freedom to do whatever I like. And I should really be thankful for my job for being in this situation. I hope you will plan/work on your personal finance and hopefully you will find the freedom in coming years. You can do it!
  21. 1 point
    Sophy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    What do you feed them JD, to help re kidneys?
  22. 1 point
    Since I quit drinking, I'm able to walk longer distances without being constantly out of breath. I'm down to one lung the way it is so anything that compromises my breathing is dangerous. Getting away from booze is the best thing I ever did...and I'm able to walk longer distances again. It feels great!
  23. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I feel very physically healthy right now. I feel like I could run across the country right now. Mentally I lost that battle long ago.
  24. 1 point
    Like I wish life would just let me go.
  25. 1 point
    Gman992

    Brain blocked?

    It that i can function, but I still having trouble concentrating.
  26. 1 point
    Chris27_

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    To you guys feeling sad, i love you. Do something small you enjoy. Sometimes i just have a cup of tea with biscuits (yes English) but i enjoy that for a few minutes at least, like 'Yeah, this is some good tea'. I've had insomnia all night. Its 5am and i have things to do today ugh. At least when you have a partner you can just have sex a couple times and then im out like a light. Oh well.
  27. 1 point
    I would lead this into a beginning, Demonstration of ancient antiquity, But the moment grows evermore, A constant struggle of my humility, As I pass the hand that grasps me a plan, As I make my marks of glyphs and lines, I arrive to question the creation's demand, The pen is to never keep up with the times,
  28. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I want you to keep existing.
  29. 1 point
    @JD4010 You're certainly NOT worthless. You brought a wonderful daughter into the world, you care for your cats, and you help so many people here. We do what we can. Like my Mom having to adapt to living with Multiple Sclerosis, and other life events, somehow we find a way to cope. Sending hugs to all of you.
  30. 1 point
    It's frustrating to go through life using only a fraction of my potential. It's frustrating to helplessly watch my youth waste away before my eyes. I try not to think about it. Mindfulness helps me recognize negative thought patterns before they get the better of me. I try to write at least three things I'm grateful for every day. I try to do the best I can under the circumstances.
  31. 1 point
    velvetpuddles

    what are you watching right now?

    Firefly!! It's been so long since I've seen it, I forgot how funny it is! πŸ˜‚
  32. 1 point
    4 big mosquitoes sent to heaven. They drew the first blood.
  33. 1 point
    TiredDad

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I remember back when I was in high school and college I would crush. I would get obsessive about someone. Never actually acted. Never asked a crush out. In some cases I was friendly with the person, but I would secretly obsess about them. What I learned was this: your image of the person, who you think that person to be? That person does not exist. They are NOT who you are idealizing them to be. They are just another flawed human being. It didn't actually take dating a crush to uncover this. If you just really think about it, your image of that person CAN'T exist. Get to a place in your mind where you can enjoy things. Once you get there, find someone who also enjoys most of those things you do. Whatever you do, don't settle on someone just because they "put up with you".
  34. 1 point
    I am thankful for my parents and siblings, they are always there for me despite my constant bad mood. Also thankful for my friends (sometimes they bug me) and my therapist. And of course I am thankful for this forum, I appreciate the fact that people in here, total strangers, have the courage and good heart to face their own terrible problems and at the same time take their energy to help others. That is truly remarkable and I am grateful for that.
  35. 1 point
    Lady Mozzer

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I`m feeling anxious right now. Maybe because I haven`t slept very well for three days.
  36. 1 point
    sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I hope I never see my crush again. I hope I never have a crush again at least not how it's always been. Crushes have ruined my life. I focus only on the person and the rest of my life goes away. I won't do it again. I feel free now and maybe happy at times for a change. I want real love one day but I can't expect someone out there to make up for all of the abuse and neglect I've been through. It's not fair to that person. I'm closing in on a year sober and that's all I'm going to focus on. Maybe after that I'll be emotionally stable enough to be good for someone out there.
  37. 1 point
    MommyofPrecious

    What Are You Reading?

    I just finished Amy Tan's The Bonesetter's Daughter, spent some late nights it was so absorbing. Today, a random novel of suspense I paid 40 cents for in the thrift store. Laila's pic, Dan Brown's Origin, is on my wish list, can't afford it yet....
  38. 1 point
    I am sorry to hear that you felt letdown after meeting your CO. Oftentimes we have certain expectations when it comes to meeting our COs and more times than not, it isn't what we expected or wanted. I was on cloud nine after meeting mine but I also felt letdown and depressed because it all happened so fast and we had to part ways. I hope you felt a little something good when meeting your CO something you can look back fondly on.
  39. 1 point
    Deep_joy

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I feel I have got some extraordinary power, specially bringing lightning bolts and rain when I am most depressed and sad. But actually it's monsoon here in West Bengal, India. πŸ˜€
  40. 1 point
    hocico

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Amerika - Rammstein
  41. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I'm feeling better than yesterday. Having the kitty's "funeral" behind me is a big relief. I'm so happy to have the other two at the apartment with me. This goes without saying, but don't take your furbabies for granted. Nor your human friends and/or family. Something turned on a switch for me last night...I suddenly feel like getting back into shape. I went to the store earlier and bought kale, arugula, spinach, blueberries, strawberries, and nanners. I'm gonna exist on smoothies for awhile, and get my @ss outside and walk a lot more. I love to walk...but I don't love to sweat. But it's good for you so I'll train myself to like it again. πŸ™„
  42. 1 point
    surfcaster

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Rose tattoo by dropkick murphys
  43. 1 point
    surfcaster

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    the big interview with dan rather, he is interviewing the band styx, i love this program
  44. 1 point
    velvetpuddles

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    November's Doom - The Pale Haunt Departure album Why on earth have I not listened to this music for so long??
  45. 1 point
    Lady Mozzer

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    The Queen Is Dead ~The Smiths
  46. 1 point
    I struggle so much in school and the teachers always look past it. And, it’s not like I never asked for help. I did, plenty of times. But it seemed like those cries went unanswered and maybe because I was their favorite student. I mean, school would be much easier if I didn’t spend my nights crying (sometimes for no reason).
  47. 1 point
    Everyone has potential and it's possible to argue that a newly-born baby theoretically has the potential to be a brain surgeon, lawyer or Olympic athlete. But even if we personally aspire to these things, there are often very good external reasons why we might not actually get there and there's no point in repeatedly blaming ourselves when we don't. Most of us are doing the best we can and perhaps in western society generally the problem is that the aspirations were often not that realistic in the first place and that the importance placed on achievements, especially of a material nature, causes stress before we even begin. In my own case, depression has certainly been a hindrance, but education, social class, my poor memory, lack of good looks and shyness are significant factors too, together with a host of others. I'm 59 years old and regard potential as virtually irrelevant and probably the best thing I can do is look forwards and enjoy what's left. I often write on greetings cards to other people that the best is yet to come and cling on to the hope that it applies to me too.
  48. 1 point
    Thanks twitchy, that was good advice.....I try to follow that too because I couldn't get into the dream career I wanted to either, but it hurts. You can't imagine how much it hurts. Some days I start crying because I never made it. I am hoping that I will get my anxiety/depression on some type of control soon so I can at least have some type of life. Anything is better than being stuck at home. I'm looking into Ketamine it's my last resort at this point.. BTW, don't you guys get mad that there isn't enough research and funding going into research or anything as far as mental health? In a few years depression is supposed to be like the #1 illness in the world affecting people......I mean I go to retailers and they ask for donations for cancer, or other stuff, but never have I gone anywhere, or seen a national walk to raise awareness aside of NAMI (they national walk they do) unless I'm wrong. That's really messed up considering how many people are suffering.
  49. 1 point
    This may sound trite, but you may need to adjust what you think of as "your potential" to account for the fact that you have a real (and not imaginary) illness. It's no different than any other medical condition, even if some people don't really recognize this. I'm bipolar, but was not diagnosed until I had already gone to law school and worked as an attorney. It's a miracle that I survived that long before receiving treatment. But I lost my dream job because of my frequent hospitalizations. The job where I had a ton of friends, was respected and had a real future. Where I expected to spend my entire career. I was crushed, to say the least! It has taken a fair amount of therapy, but I have finally accepted that my illness precludes me from holding certain jobs. But that doesn't mean that I don't have something to offer to the world and that I'm not a valuable person. I'm living up to my potential as a person with a law degree, who also suffers from bipolar disorder. I hope that you can find work that gives you meaning. But don't base it on the salary or the "prestige" of the position! Ask yourself if you are doing the best you can given your circumstances (and don't be too hard on yourself!). If you can't find a way to find meaning in your job, maybe you can do some volunteer work, even just one day a month. Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself!
  50. 1 point
    I'm sorry . i wish I could give you some advice but I feel the same way. This illness is terrible and it destroys your life. I couldn't handle a full-time job either because I got too depressed and I'm treatment-resistant... It was too stressful, in the end I couldn't even handle a part-time job so I gave up. Are you getting help or any therapy? It's not your fault this illness is destroying your life, I didn't choose it, you didn't either. Try not to be hard on yourself, and just do the best you can that's all we can do. I never imagined my life would turn out this way either, but blaming myself because this illness destroyed me is not the answer. The medical field has no answers or relief for me, so why should I be hard on myself? I've tried for decades to live a functional life and I can't. After a while it gets to you. I really hope the medical field looks into mental illness more than they currently are, because way too many people are suffering and it's not fair. I get really mad when some people say its not real, grow up, etc.. I wish there were walks for mental illness to raise money just like there are for other diseases, why can't we count?
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