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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/28/2016 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    lex333

    I'm unbearably sad tonight

    so sorry for your pain... and I understand every word you wrote... wishing you relief.
  2. 3 points
    Kabuto

    It's Just So Darn Unfair

    So...feeling down. I really want to do something that aligns with my introversion and free spiritedness. I don't really want to deal with other people, and I don't want to be confined by others. It's so unfair...that I seriously can't seem to find any vocation at the moment that will enable me to live on my own whims and desires. I don't want to submit to others- I just want to live on my own. Without dealing with anyone else's nonsense.
  3. 3 points
    Sir Robin

    How did I get myself into this?

    Friends, the past week has been a bit of a whirlwind for me. Long story short, I did a couple phone interviews with a company in another state that I had applied for a job with. Last Thursday they asked me to come over there for an in-person interview. At first I thought it was a bad idea, but later I decided that maybe it was a good idea. So I asked my brother if I could spend Saturday night at his place (his living in that state was half the reason I wanted to move there anyway) and he said sure so I up and did it. Drove eight hours on Saturday, got to his place and hung around until early the next afternoon, then drove another 3 and a half hours to the city where the interview was (they paid for a hotel room for me for the night.) I called in "sick" to my job on Monday morning, did the interview, left for home Monday afternoon, spent the night at another hotel, got home late Tuesday afternoon (I had Tuesday off work anyway,) went back to my job on Wednesday. Quite an accomplishment for me, considering my nerves were shot almost the whole time. I didn't really relax until I started heading for home. Yesterday (after my wee-wee test was cleared by the lab) they offered me the job, but I had pretty much 90% decided by that point I wasn't going to take it anyway. It would be just too much change too fast. The city I'd be working in is so far away from where I live now that it'd be next to impossible for me to set up a place to live and be ready to go as soon as the new job would want me there. They hinted to me a couple times they wanted me to start ASAP, I told them I would need at least three weeks because I'd have to give two weeks notice to my current job (hey, I don't like my job but I respect my employer for giving me the job) and at least one week to get everything moved. I talked to my dad on the phone about it for almost an hour last night and we don't agree on much of anything but he told me he didn't see any way I would come out ahead by taking this thing. But being the oversensitive wuss that I am I still feel bad about turning down the offer. What I really learned from this whole experience is just how bad my anxiety issues really are. I always feel like I'd be happier somewhere else, and to a certain extent I think I could use a change of scenery and a fresh start... but taking virtually any action to actually make such a step scares me silly. All I can think the whole time is, "I don't belong here, I shouldn't be here, I should be at home where I belong." It's like I always want the opposite of what I have. One of my friends who encouraged me to take the trip kept telling me, "You're not setting anything in stone, all you're doing is going there and taking a look at it." But in my head I felt like I was signing my life away. It's maddening. This post didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to but after everything in the last week I'm not thinking straight. And immediately after this I'm going to send the "thanks but no thanks" email to these people and I'm dreading it. If life's a journey, than I'm in the middle of a forest at the dead of night with no compass.
  4. 3 points
    GSpolar

    I'm unbearably sad tonight

    I know the feeling lp44. When I'm at the bottom, I have so so little to say, like almost nothing. Your tiny words resonate in their genuineness. So subtle hand squeeze from me instead of words, OK? :)
  5. 3 points
    Atron

    creativity-when-depressed-part-two

    They are right, don't forget who the boss really is. You. You have the the power to start your own dance, don't be ashamed of how you look, I'm sure you are far more beautiful than you think even if no one else can appreciate it.
  6. 3 points
    I've had a couple of close friends teach me about what eating disorders are like. Profound tears and pain......I will never forget the looks in their eyes. CS Lewis wrote a memorable essay about his concept of heaven. The 'bodies' of people are the physical manifestations of the beauty of their inner character on earth. I hope he is right, so that after a long life, your beautiful self will shine radiantly, and you can forget about all of this business for a few millennium :)
  7. 3 points
    SoWhatWithThis

    Howdy folks

    Hello everyone I am new to this website, I found it by just googling. So huzzah for Google, great be its search engine. I have little pack of critters living in my head, though sometimes "critter" is not the most appropriate word. At times one or more of them is a monster. Be them critter or monster, this is how I visualize my having Depression, ADHD, and Dyslexia. I don't go about telling people I meet on the street (rhyme time!) that I have things living in my head, no. If someone asks me what I have, I tell them "I have Depression" or something to that effect. However, this community here seems different to me. I think you all might understand the coping strategy that is me turning my illnesses into "critters." I think you all are the kind of people who wouldn't judge me for that. So thanks. :)
  8. 3 points
    Oscar K

    Howdy folks

    Welcome aboard the good ship Depression Forum. I'm always tempted to tell newcomers now get to work. Actually we can come up with strategies to deal with depression issues. Keep in mind those "critters" might seem real but are really metaphorical. They're your critters and you are in charge of them not the other way around. Anyway keep posting and we will help you and I assume you'll help us.
  9. 2 points
    LookinforLight

    Never thought

    I would be on a forum like this one. I have a lot of pride and don't like admitting I have problems, but it is what it is and I gotta accept it. Life is very unfulfilling these days. Ive tried so hard for 5 years to climb out of the darkness. Sometimes I'm good but times like today I feel depressed. I was just sitting in my car 10 minutes ago and thought about all the other humans experiencing similar feelings. Although I wish no harm on anyone, it is comforting to know I am not alone. Thanks for listening.
  10. 2 points
    lp44

    I'm unbearably sad tonight

    So few understand that statement. I can literally think of no where else to say it. One of these times I fear I will not find a reason I actually believe to continue.
  11. 2 points
    Jalen

    I'm unbearably sad tonight

    I know how you feel, and it's scary, both during it and after it, you are feeling really bad but you will get through this and see merit in living after, good luck. Please don't let these moments get the better of you, as they almost have of me. Just know it can get better. Best Wishes, -Jalen
  12. 2 points
    thank you @rainingviolets for encouraging me to post this. I too wrote this about 5 years ago on an eating disorder site. I was going to post it a week ago and thought it wasn't good enough. And then her post showed up recently. I was surprised that someone else had written about this being a dance as she was. she had pointed out that maybe someone else who is suffering with the same thing(s) may be able to relate and it could affect them well. I also realized that I had written a part two, but I will wait with that one for now. Maybe tomorrow, I don't know. I will emphasize here that it is very poorly written. I haven't changed it, it's in the same form as it was back then. I also want to point out that I don't normally refer to eating disorders by the nicknames you hear of and that I have used below. But really, I felt I had to at that time in order to show the dance.
  13. 2 points
    craving for female affection going to sleep now, i'm starting to hate it
  14. 2 points
    lp44

    I'm unbearably sad tonight

    Thank you
  15. 2 points
    I understand how you feel. I worry at times about the world that my niece and nephew are going to grow up in, and not just because of the environment. Something is going to have to give in this society where everything is so blasted expensive. A couple years ago I was in an insurance licensing class where the instructor showed us a copy of hospital bill from sometime in the first half of the 20th century (sorry, I no longer recall if it was the '20s, '30s or what.) A week-long hospital stay cost 20 bucks, I kid you not. Granted that was a lot more money back then than it is now, but it didn't sentence you to a lifetime of debt either. Health care costs go up every single year and people think the answer is to "just let the market fix itself." And yet instead of trying to fix any problems, people just make up nonexistent problems to worry about instead. Personally my view is that eventually we are going to come to a point where stupidity is going to become an overpowering force and there's going to be a major catastrophe, but worrying about it isn't going to change anything, so I just try to focus on myself and improving life for those around me as much as I can.
  16. 2 points
    Peach

    Howdy folks

    Hello! Nice to meet you :) Glad you found us! I'm pretty new I also found it via google - huzzah! I do the same thing, I call my depression "my parasite" because it feeds off my weaknesses to make itself stronger etc. It's smaller than me, but sometimes it drains me so much it feels like a monster. I am also dyslexic although most people don't notice, I struggle more with my memory than things like spelling.
  17. 2 points
    mulberrypie

    Howdy folks

    Hi there SoWhat!! *laughing* your analogy of critters in your head is just too hilarious lol. Welcome to our interesting community of twisted philosophers. It's nice to meet you and to have you join us. I, too, sense something different about these forums. Ppl here are generally friendly, caring and unjudgmental. I got here through google, as well. see you around, take care
  18. 2 points
    womanofthelight

    Never Ending Sentence....

    dunk her unceremoniously in an outhouse (You guys are k.i.l.l.i.n.g me! hahahahahahahahahahaha . . . )
  19. 2 points
    Jalen

    Never Ending Sentence....

    Wrap Miley in toilet paper then...
  20. 2 points
    Do you think you're a hoarder? If so, I'd suggest seeing a therapist. I'm pretty sure my brother is one but he doesn't think he has a problem...it's painful to watch from the outside. If not, then I have a few strategies. First, set a timer for 5/10/15 minutes. Do as much cleaning as you can in that allotted time. Once the timer is done, no more cleaning for the day. Keep doing this every day and it'll become a habit. Second, choose a small area of your place to clean for the day. Maybe it's emptying the garbage cans. Maybe it's tidying one tabletop. Do that, and no more for the rest of the day. Both strategies have worked for me at different times. Third, if things are really too overwhelming at this point, hire a cleaner for two hours (or more). Fourth, read Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I listened to the audiobook and it seriously changed how I view my relationship with my possessions. Most of all, remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. When I'm at my lowest, I try to remember the idea: "just show up." You don't have to finish your cleaning task, but just show up and work from there.
  21. 2 points
    JasonDark

    In Love.. Can't Sit Still

    Eazy...the roller coaster is climbing.
  22. 1 point
    I don't know if this is the right place, but honestly, I didn't know where else to go. Today, a report came out claiming that two thirds of the world's species will be dead by 2020, in part due to climate change. Most scientists have announced that it's basically too late to do anything. What? All those years of stealing out of my neighbor's garbage cans, trying to drive less, using less electricity were for nothing? Nobody in the government cared enough? The skeptics are still taken seriously? What the hell is the point, then? Why don't we just commit mass suicide? My symptoms have struck back full force. I know it's not my fault, but part of me keeps saying I didn't do enough. Why am I living now? Why not give up and jump onto train tracks before I have to see the fresh hell we've created on this planet? I don't know how to live with this. I'm not a genius, I don't know how to remove carbon from the atmosphere? What the hell do I do?
  23. 1 point
    Jalen

    So I talked to a counselor.

    I talked to a counselor today, and it went horrible. I just could not explain how I felt and I think I came off wrong. I was really scared going into this and now apparently I am supposed to see him again next week and I don't know what to do, it feels like I can't explain the feelings that do matter the most, and I don't know how I feel about going back. Now that I think about it I guess the main problem is I can't explain how I feel without mentioning suicide, which then he'd be legally obligated to tell my parents and I'd rather them not know about that at all. I was thinking about taking some of my posts here and putting them in a word document, editing them, and then showing them to him so maybe then he'll be able to understand without me having to explain. If you have any advice that's be great, I could seriously use it.
  24. 1 point
    samadhiSheol

    Depression Haiku Thread

    Creativity Avoiding me, like the light Shunning my essence
  25. 1 point
    MarkHollywood

    what are you watching right now?

    cool tv series
  26. 1 point
    jmg

    Never thought

    Welcome to DF. this is a good place . You are not alone here . Many here have an understanding heart for your suffering . sending positive thoughts your way . I hope you find peace in your life . jmg
  27. 1 point
    Double check the year on that. Two thirds of the world's species will absolutely not be gone in four years. Where did this information come from?
  28. 1 point
    Natasha1

    Depression Haiku Thread

    I don't deserve this Marriage is not what I thought Stop yelling at me
  29. 1 point
    I ave a similar issue with external validation. I also had similar reactions to things like that when I was younger and sometimes a toned down version even at my current age. (Goof news is the older you are the less grandiose these reactions become). Maybe my technique will help. It's called "consider the source". Is this person someone who is kind? Are they stable? If not- don't mind what they said or why they rejected you. I'll use a couple real life examples of how I used this. There was this one guy I used to talk to on a dating app. I lived far so we didn't meet for awhile, but we used to talk a ton. After meeting in person and doing some things I regret he pretty much, after a long detailed explanation of why he rejected, kinda disappeared. I wanted to stay friends,but whatever. Let's focus on the rejection part. Now, this guy wasn't really a happy guy. He had some parts of his life together( the man had a P.h.D from MIT for example) ,but personality wise and such he wouldn't have been a good match for me at all. There were many things during the date that were signs of this ( he never walked side by side with me, he would walk way ahead leaving me behind ,which I found somewhat rude; he didn't see fond or tolerant of children making noises at the restaurant we ate at; he seemed a bit more into himself; he had a bleak outlook on relationships in general as his parents had a terrible marriage etc...) So, even though initially I was hung up on this for awhile, I realized he wasn't the person I was looking for, and I would not have been happy in a relationship with someone like this. In majority of cases of being rejected you can find reasons for why you would not have been a good match. Instead of focusing on why you liked them, focus on the red flags about them, things you overlooked etc.. If they ghost or ignore you- they are rude and have poor communication. You need and want someone who will communicate with you. Rejection hurts, but when you face it stop yourself and say "this hurts, but why is this good? What bullets did I dodge" Many times, you are being saved for the right person. Sometimes we have to go through a couple s***ty relationships with the wrong person before we find the right one.
  30. 1 point
    Boy can I relate to that! I remember in middle school being at a water park with friends and this one girl who was tiny and had perfect skin asked me what was wrong with my back with a tone of extreme concern. I've never felt human. I see other fat girls, there are many girls my size and bigger on YouTube ,but one thing I notice is A. They ave skinny ass faces, no double chins and/ or B. They don't have weird skin things like I do. No acne on arms, or face etc.. It's not just on YouTube ,but in person too. It affects my relationship as well. I can't put on something skimpy on and act sexy because in the back of my head always remember seeing my reflection or photos of me, and I feel ridiculous. The weirdest thing, is that in some mirrors-mainly bathroom mirrors- I don't hate my appearance too much. But in photos I look NOTHING like what I see in these mirrors. It's confusing as heck.
  31. 1 point
  32. 1 point
    Throwaway

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    everything up until now, yes. Most likely it would help me get out of monotony, but i doubt anything more.
  33. 1 point
    gs22

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    You say everything, but surely there must be things you've never tried before? If you were to meet new people, of either sex, or see what your friends are doing, wouldn't that give you some ideas of things to try out?
  34. 1 point
    Throwaway

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I don't know. I have tried for so long to find an answer as to why i find everything so boring. I really wish i had one, but i don't. It's just that doing mostly anything does not give me any kind of pleasant emotion, moreover it irritates me.
  35. 1 point
    ColdFire

    Depression Haiku Thread

    I stare into space wishing I could float away and sleep in the sun
  36. 1 point
    ColdFire

    Never Ending Sentence....

    extended her her freakish tongue and let out a shrill song to summon the horde to her side, what she didn't know was the trolls were enthralled by my new Gary Busey face and will now only obey me. I smiled and commanded them to....
  37. 1 point
    Welcome GIA! Glad you're here. You'll find a lot of caring helpful people on this thread. I am sorry you're not feeling well!!!! Sending out good thoughts to you!
  38. 1 point
    How do I feel? Like a plague doctor. Now how do I attempt to describe this...
  39. 1 point
    quentin360

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Hi everyone, I'm feeling a little bit better today. Last night I went to a support group (NA) for recovering addicts and I got a lot out of it. But then I made the mistake of staying on my computer until 2:00am and so I do feel tired as well. The new medication, I think, is starting to work somewhat. I just must begin taking better care of myself, such as eating and sleeping the right amount...so thats how I'm feeling...Be Good to Yourself...
  40. 1 point
  41. 1 point
    This was the first poem I wrote 6 years ago when I began writing as therapy. Since then, under different user names, this has been on a couple of eating disorder forums and was on site for art therapy until I removed it. There is a follow-up poem to it called "The Intervention" which is a much more personal look at the dance during my college days. That one I don't feel as comfortable allowing others to read because it is reveals an uglier side to the dance. I have been dancing with the dragon for over 30 years. At least for me, I don't believe there is a "recovery." There have been times of remission, but never recovery. The dance ~ along with the all the forms of abuse I suffered throughout my childhood ~ has destroyed my body. I live with chronic pain and a long list physical disorders. And the dance goes on... Dancing With the Dragon A young girl watched the stairs As her sister descended, A familiar pain grasped her heart… An ache that never ended. Her throat constricted… Her heart convicted… She tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Her sister was poised and beautiful, Charming and graceful, Tall and lean And only nineteen! The younger girl stared from far below, Admiration or envy, she didn’t quite know. Sis had a small nose, blue eyes with long lashes, With 20/20 vision, she’d never worn glasses. With the belt at her tiny waist Cinched ever so tight, Her jeans clung to her backside Firm, sexy and tight. Her unblemished skin, so soft and creamy, Made swooning guys gather and agree she was dreamy. Her hair was long and shimmered with highlights, Blonde, of course, no split ends in sight. The younger girl saw perfection in her older sister; Thoughts that God loved Sis more started to fester. Why was Sis destined for skinny and slim? Petite, undersized, thin, slender, and trim? As the youngest child in this family of ten The girl was teased again and again It wasn’t a home of love and affection It was a battlezone ruled by competition Each day was a contest, a new battle or war Who had the best grades, who earned the best scores? Bad breath was insulted, pimples were noted, Tattle tales got points for tales they quoted. Any new trophies or gold medals at school? Silver wasn’t good enough and bronze was for fools. One of the very first lessons she learned Weight was monitored with cruel words that burned Along with insults that damaged the heart This was a home that tore souls apart Horrible abuse with threats if they’d tell Unspeakable acts that send men to hell As the young girl stood looking up at the stairs She knew it was pointless to think and compare Her sister had been given so much more it seemed Her sister had been blessed with her beautiful dreams The younger girl’s thoughts were hurt and confused; She’d spent her life bruised, shamed, and abused. Looking toward Heaven the girl sobbed out loud, “You were never there before, why would You be now?” Then from behind her she felt 2 strong arms Embrace her with gentleness ~ a hug safe and warm. Turning she looked and there stood a lady, Or was it an angel or some kind of fairy? “Don’t be afraid,” the Being softly whispered. Then she took the girl’s hand, leaned over, and kissed it. I see your sadness and feel your pain. You try to lose weight but you only gain. I’m a master of food with a big bag of tricks, Be my best friend and that weight you’ll soon kick. Your sister will be the one envying you When you’re smaller than her and wear a size 2! Your friends and family will be mystified At the gorgeous girl they once criticized. You’ll no longer hunger! You’ll no longer eat! With me to help you You’ll accomplish this feat! You’ll have no need for cookies, ice cream and such, You’ll no longer dip, snack, lick, sip and munch. Let’s begin now to learn of restriction, Don’t listen to anyone ~ this is not an addiction. With elation the girl learned the one simple rule: All food is bad, if you eat you’re a fool! A voice in her head said, “Get up! Don’t be lazy!” A voice in her head made her go diet crazy! “Exercise! Exercise! Exercise more! Fast! Fast! All food ignore! Starvation! Concentration! You’re in control! Power and Perfection! Perfection and Control! Keep the famine going, You direct it all! Manipulation, isolation, limitation, regulation, Separation, Domination…Complete exhaustion. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! She gave up all meals. What fun! What success! The tag read “zero” in the back of her dress. Victorious and proud, she exclaimed, “That was tough! I’ve gone way past my goal but that’s still not enough.” Suddenly displeased with the weight she had dropped, She realized with fear that she just couldn’t stop. The sky turned dark, the wind blew cold The fairy-like being cackled loudly and bold. “You won’t eat again, you’re mine forever, You’re caught in my snare, oh aren’t I clever?” As the Being strutted about, taunting and bragging, Astonished, the girl realized it had morphed to a Dragon! “You were easy to catch wallowing in your obsessions For external beauty and flawless perfection. Dieting and thinness were your fixation and passion. You stepped in my trap freely with no hesitation. “What happens now? I’m sure you are wondering: A life of starvation, a life of suffering. No holiday parties, no evenings with friends, If food will be there, you must not attend. The frig must stay empty, the cupboards keep bare. No treats in the drawers, no food anywhere! Your face will be dry, blemished, and wrinkled, Everywhere else your skin will just crinkle. The shiny tresses you wished caressing your head Will start falling out ~ hair by hair, thread by thread. Your bones are decaying, some day they will ache. You’ll walk with a cane, if you fall they will break. Legs ~ you will bruise them. Babies ~ you’ll lose them. Your thoughts will dwell always On corpulent blubber, Fears of being fat, plump, overweight and chubby. Insomnia, depression, migraines, and more All these are yours forevermore.” The young girl trembled at the Dragon with fright, All she had wanted was a small waist and no cellulite. A few doctors tried to out-clever the Dragon With therapy, promises, bribes, and bargains. Hospitals, ranches, houses, and clinics But the Dragon made the girl think like cynic. These programs were failures before she’d begun, With her, the Dragon reigned Number 1. Through the days, through weeks, through the months, then the years She and the Dragon danced on through her tears. One day, worn and tired from fighting the war, The girl’s heart gave up, she couldn’t dance anymore. Finally at peace, her pain now relieved, The Dragon moved on and her family grieved. ©mks January 2010
  42. 1 point
    standup

    Frustrated with "Professionals"

    I can't speak for everyone, but my guess is that most people who have severe cases have tried things other than medication. For me, medication is kind of a last resort. When I used to exercise (and I exercised a lot), it really didn't help much. If it did help, the effects were short-lasting. I'd still wake up every day loathing the day and wanting to die. I don't like medication. I'd rather not take it. But there's practically nothing left to try at this point other than TMS and I'm not approved for that. Exercise can never hurt, of course. I think the efficacy of things like exercise depend on the severity of each case and a bunch of different circumstances and variables.
  43. 1 point
    I'm manic-Depressive, and have anxiety issues. I'm unemployable. Even if I'm actually not, I believe I am. So I put all my energy into my projects. Because I would rather talk about the things I do, than myself. A lot of the things that cause stress and depression for me come down to money. My computer is old, and I'm terrified it's going to die on me and take all my work with it. All of the hopes and dreams I have are tied to that machine. I haven't slept on a proper surface in years, I spent 5 years sleeping in a loveseat, and the last 2 in a recliner. I'm a creative person, but I lack to tools to do the things I want to do properly, which forces me to just work with what I've got. A myriad of things constantly creating stress and depression whenever I start thinking, dwelling, on them. Currently my main project is a game called The Adventure of Bored Jimmy, and I'm running an indigogo campaign to try and fund better graphics and music for the game. I've done everything in my power to try and promote that campaign, and absolutely nothing has happened. This is a cycle I tend to find myself in. I work on something, hope this will be the project that amounts to something, then it does nothing. So I find myself doing things I normally wouldn't do. Even this post is partially an attempt to get people to see my campaign. Because that's what the depression of facing yet another failure pushes me to. I hate myself for doing it, but that niggling hope that it might just work pushes me to do it anyway. What do you do when a lot of the things that cause the depression and pain that makes life a struggle, can be solved with money. But absolutely no one takes it seriously? How do you cope when every single attempt you make to succeed, every time you allow yourself to hope, it always gets crushed like a bug? I keep moving forward, but it gets harder. I find myself working on my projects less and less, because the feeling of "why bother?" sets in. I feel like nothing I do will ever succeed and all I'm doing by allowing myself to hope, is torture myself. But my projects are all I've got. Do you have any similar issues? How do you deal with them? I feel like I'm caught in a catch 22. I know that the thing that will help a lot, is money. But if I just come out and ask you all for it, I look like I'm just here to beg. If I don't bring it up, all I get are platitudes. Which simply don't work for me. I'm far too practical for the whole well wishes and prayers be with you stuff. I know deep down that that stuff is to make the person saying it feel better, not the person they're saying it to. I honestly feel like it's a no win scenario. The majority cause of my depression seems frivolous, and gets dismissed. Even here I feel like everyone is going to turn on me, hate me, because what I want more than anything right now is help with that crowdfunding campaign, because that would open doors, which would ease my depression. But because it comes down to money, I will be vilified, dismissed and attacked. That is what I feel. Do you understand?
  44. 1 point
    ColdFire

    Never Ending Sentence....

    One of them said "Pardon me good sir, I really should watch where I'm going, but my eyes rotted away weeks ago." I thought to myself......
  45. 1 point
    ColdFire

    Never Ending Sentence....

    rather than end up looking like I slow danced with Freddy Krueger.....as I left I bumped into.....
  46. 1 point
    do you pay for plane tickets to, because i'll meet at 8:00 pm tommorow if thats the case.
  47. 1 point
    newborn leader

    creativity-when-depressed-part-two

    I miss the smiles on your face And the help you give I miss talking about challenges I embrace I miss you, I miss her, and I miss everyone else in between I miss the hugs, kisses, and loves like I miss riding the limousine Flowers are pretty, The sunshine shines And your hair is ever-white But that is what makes you, you You are a loving person Ever so generous Kind with a blooming heart And you are so smart Thank you for being you Dedicated to a loving person
  48. 1 point
    JCastro

    Frustrated with "Professionals"

    I have been there. It is unsurprising that most psychiatrists and doctors are morons with poor problem-solving skills. It is also expected that you lose faith in things when you continually put your trust in them and they fail you. Just hang in there, persistence will lead to your recovery. Unfortunately, even though doctors and therapists are propped up by society as if they know everything, they are just like car mechanics, but for the body instead of a car. They are not geniuses and will fail you time and time again. However, there are good ones out there that can help you. Good luck, and best wishes to you.
  49. 1 point
    ColdFire

    creativity-when-depressed-part-two

    Mother Dear All the things you see in me things you find disagreeable you label toxic masculinity preaching from your pulpit with a rafter in thine own eye You scold me "be a man" but only according to your definition you want me to reject social norms but not the ones that raise you on high the ones that demand my protection and provision to this day even of the son of your own womb whom you curse from the moment you wake til your head hits the pillow You are trying to fix the world but you have broken the fruit of your loins my first breath were a shame to you my first steps you saw as an advancing army and though now I have jumped from your poisonous nest and define for myself what kind of man I am your talons are at the ready to scoop me up and carry me on your pinions back to the same twisted tree for me to fill the roles you supposedly hate so much. I wish to be free of you but my freedom is somehow your oppression I spread my hen pecked wings and I soar without you even if I fall even if I can not keep aloft of the world and its demands even if I am struck by the pellets of your shaming buckshot I will fall with love for myself love that you denied me simply for my y chromosome I will return to the cradle of the earth the only mother I have ever known.
  50. 1 point
    That_Random_Guy98

    The Power Of Hugging

    It's not that I don't believe hugs could be helpful...I've just never been hugged, or touched by others in general really, so I tend to not like being physically touched...Don't get the wrong idea, I wasn't like abused or anything, I just haven't been touched by people so my only stimulus is to act indifferent or shy away from actual physical contact...
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