Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/01/2015 in all areas

  1. Prayers please, Dad in the hospital in Louisville and have had panic attacks for the last few days straight, can't eat or anything. Shaking, crying, etc. Just horrible
    9 points
  2. Today is a new day, full of new possibility and new hope. I am going to try and embrace my own signature quote... I am going to let yesterday be yesterday and try and move on. I hope this sticks for today. And I pray that my boss responds positively to me. Big hugs and lots of love to everyone.
    8 points
  3. Numb. I'm going to be sitting here in 10 years again, alone, obsessively refreshing internet forums looking for whatever it is I'm looking for. Same thing I was doing 10 years ago.
    7 points
  4. i had a veggie chicken queisdilla I made with chiles habneros,jalopenos and ghost peppers,I definitively got a adrenaline rush and have been sweating for 10 minutes
    7 points
  5. Oh no, so very sorry! Sending prayers your way!!!
    7 points
  6. i feel pretty good,happy again,I hope i get called back for one of the job applications I applied for.I keep falling asleepin the morning though its really getting on my nerves how erratic my sleeping pattern.i really feel like doing something fun im to broke to do anything though I wish six flags was open now i want to do something that gives me a adrenaline rush.its so dark outside,it got almost pitch black by 5:00 pm I don,t like it,it makes it feel like the day is over.i hate driving at night i have trouble seeing things.
    7 points
  7. I'm just trying to fight through things, one day at a time. Yesterday, I was scared, lost, and self-loathing. All of that is still there today, but there are other feelings as well. Today I'm more resigned. Perhaps a bit mournful. But I have some small measure of hope as well. I have found this place, where I can speak plainly about my issues and where I no longer feel alone against the world. To go along with the Buddha's wise words from havehope's signature, I'll add a favorite mantra from the Green Lantern comics: All will be well.
    6 points
  8. My life used to be depressed for awhile and then snap out of it and be better. I call it peaks and valleys. But I feel my depression has been with me all along. Changes in antidepressant and anxiety meds helps, plus therapy And of course circumstances. But for the past few years. especially when my dad passed, I've been trying to climb out of this valley of despair, but keep being pushed back down. I can't always see the good, only the bad. I used to trust people. I don't anymore, with exception of very few. The negatives seem to take over the positives, knowing I should be grateful for the blessings I have, but I can't acknowledge even those. The past couple days have been rough. My family, which is only my sister and her family are non-existent because my sister and I have severed ties. I have dealt with this through therapy and accept it is better we have no interaction as she makes me very stressed. The holidays are tough because old memories of family and home come to mind, but all that has changed. It still hurts. I think it may be a tough Christmas. I think I'll see if I can volunteer somewhere on a food drive or something. Giving back is pretty much the only thing that makes me happy these days.
    6 points
  9. depressed.... bleh. I don't want to go to bed. I hate living a life of sickness day in day out. It has left me bitter and angry.
    6 points
  10. I'm doing better today. Thanks, everyone, for your support yesterday. My roommate came back and did something amazingly nice for me, that took away a lot of my fears and made me feel that I really am on the right path and that things are coming together for me. Coming together under my feet, like a path home.
    6 points
  11. Another good day/weird night. I don't know why the nights have to be so hard. Trying to pick myself up.
    6 points
  12. Science guy, That's great that you heard back on one of the job apps, I hope that goes well for you! And hooray for quesadillas!! That sounds WAY too hot!! :)
    6 points
  13. I'm sick of myself. I think my therapist is losing faith. I feel like a bad student that is begrudgingly going to school. I feel like I'm trying but I think my manner shows anything but.
    6 points
  14. If you are feeling really low mood and depressed And having suicidal or self harm thoughts , please don't hesitate to contact your local crisis line. Yesterday my mood was very dark and I did call. It wasn't the first time I have done so and probably will not be the last. But it really is the right thing to do in that moment. I was having thoughts of suicide even though I have no intention to act on them, it's a dark place to be alone with yourself. But we all know how inappropriate our well meaning friends and families can be towards our mental health struggles! Honestly I really encourage anyone, when u are having these thoughts and really dark clouds to just phone or do online chat with a crisis line. These people are not counsellors or therapists which almost makes it better in a way. It's just a way to not be alone when u are feeling very low. It's anonymous and confidential.
    5 points
  15. My prayers are with you and your Dad. I have panic attacks too and they are very scary. You are under a lot of stress no doubt. But be sure to take care of you. I send you my very best.
    5 points
  16. Felt really bad this morning. But I always feel bad in the mornings. Then I feel a little better usually in the afternoons.
    4 points
  17. Oh no, so very sorry! Sending prayers your way!!! (((((Hugs))))
    4 points
  18. It was pretty hot,the ghost pepper wasn,t as hot as I thought it was going to be,I googled it and it said its stronger then pepper spray.i feel like habneros are hotter,it was hot though I had to start eating ice cream to take some of the edge off. i hope everything works out for you (((freckledface)))
    4 points
  19. I'm good. Busy day today and a busy day tommorow but I actually like it. Better then sitting as home.
    4 points
  20. Feeling worried and anxious... on pins and needles waiting to see if my boss responds to my message. She hasn't responded yet. My boyfriend said that if she was looking for an excuse to get rid of me, then my message could be a tipping point. Hopefully that's not the case. I still don't know what I'm going to say to her. This weekend was a bit tough to get through.
    4 points
  21. I know the feeling Salparadise. I feel like I can't rely on anyone either anymore. Had friends, don't have any right now, feel hopeless, lonely, etc. So yup, I'm extremely depressed right now. Just wondering why bother.
    3 points
  22. Love and peace to all of you - lately I've been stalking this website and clicking "like" here and there, but not posting as much. I'm resolved to eat clean (porridge/blueberries for breakfast, salad for lunch and fish/veggies for supper) because I need to dig myself out. It's working. Big hug to all.
    3 points
  23. Thanks for asking Duck! Much appreciated. :) I am.... coping better today at least. I haven't heard from my boss yet on my message about having a low morale & how my work has been difficult. Still hoping I don't get fired for saying this, but I am trying to be hopeful. I coupled that message along with another just prior asking her to pay for certification course so that I can add more value to the company. I'm hoping that is interpreted positively in contrast to my other message. That's probably more info than you were bargaining for! LOL. I am trying to be more positive today.
    3 points
  24. I woke up angry and upset,it feels strange I called my mother and asked if she wanted to go to lunch because I can,t take sitting in the house,she was nice enough to buy me lunch im running out of money I am get really mad at myself I haven,t found a job I asked my parents if they can loan me money for my bills and they said they would.I just need a job as soon as possible.
    3 points
  25. I'm so sorry for your loss duck! Extra special hugs to you! Brian, oh no.. that's terrible. A good friend should understand that the significant other may be of a higher priority at times, and usually is top fiddle. Maybe it's something she's just not used to and will adjust? Can you make it clear that she is just as important as she always was, but that you do have someone else in your life now too? This doesn't seem fair to you... very sorry!
    3 points
  26. Feeling sad. I miss my late dad. I did not sleep all night and I have an appointment with my pdoc today.
    3 points
  27. Yay hh!!! Nice to read that! That's the spirit. ((((((((highanxiety))))))))) - hugs to you. Thanks for staying in contact with your family here! As for me, I seem to be not too bad. Not sure why, but, I hope it holds. B
    3 points
  28. Slept all day but managed to shower then drove to a mind fullness meet up group. This was my first time with this group. They meet every Monday. I am hoping to fill my week with meet ups at least one every night. I also met my friends for coffee. I am feeling somewhat satisfied. A bit anxious and cold despite wearing thick clothing.
    3 points
  29. Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I keep remembering before my depression things used to be better. I used to do everyday chores easily now taking a shower is like moving a mountain.
    3 points
  30. (((((Camelia))))) You like cats, I am afraid of them but take a look at a cute creature which resembles my darling at home. Some are scared of rodents :))) http://m.123rf.com/photo-12092837_hamster.html (((((((((((((((((Mikayla))))))))))))))))) I'm scared with rodents. But the one in your link is cute :)))
    3 points
  31. I just don't understand why we would be put on this earth for whatever cosmic reason God could come up with and then leave us here after we made a single mistake and then not comfort us. God is supposed to be comforting and our father. But he doesn't treat us like that. No parent would ever leave their child in the depths of despair without some amount of true comfort. I'm tired of being strong and fighting through each day. I want to be able to enjoy the small and big things. I want to be able to laugh and smile and know what happiness feels like. True happiness that isn't brought on by or tinged with sadness. David committed so many grave sins and yet he was forgiven and was given back his favor with God. I have committed sins but they are nowhere near as bad as Davids and yet I am given lifelong misery even before I was born. God formed me in the womb and God made me with all these disabilities. He GAVE them to me. Just up and decided that I'd be a perfect candidate without my consent.
    3 points
  32. Hello, dfmike71: So sorry to hear that you're suffering like this. I actually understand quite a bit about what you wrote, and I have a little experience with some of it. So I might be able to help you. Let's start with the Short Term Disability (STD) insurance. The basic concept is that STD will pay a percentage of your salary if you must be off work for an extended period of time for any medical reason that is covered by the policy. The medical reason can be either a physical illness, or a mental illness. In one way, it kinda/sorta doesn't matter whether the physical or mental illness is work-related or not work-related. BUT in another way, it does matter. Here is a big clue about why they keep asking you that: in addition to Short Term Disability insurance, a large corporation also has Workers Compensation insurance. That would cover a physical or mental illness that was directly caused by the workplace. It's a different insurance policy, with different guidelines, the payments come from a different source, etc. When it comes to a PHYSICAL injury, it's very important for the corporation, the insurance company, and the individual to identify whether the injury happened on the job, or happened in private life, because that determines whether the payments come from the insurance company who provides the STD or the insurance company that provide the Workers Comp. When it comes to a MENTAL illness like depression, it's harder to prove whether it was caused by work or not, so it's probably just simpler to assume that the depression is not caused by work, so any time off that is paid by insurance will be paid by STD rather than Workers Comp. Now, how does one get a legitimate medical reason to be off work for an extended period of time because of inability to work caused by depression? I'm pretty sure that you don't need a psychiatrist to make the original medical authorization. For example, I believe that a regular primary care physician (PCP) or family doctor or GP can make the initial medical recommendation, and submit it to the corporation and the insurance company "Joe Schmo is not capable of work because he is incapacitated by his current depression and anxiety." I believe that's all you need to get the initial "X" number of weeks off work with a percentage of your salary paid by STD, usually 60% of your regular salary. Now, to get additional weeks off, then the insurance company may need additional proof that a mental health professional judges you as incapable of work. That's why the psychiatrist would need to complete paperwork. The insurance company may require that you show proof of participation in an out-patient hospital group program for your depression. Now, the EAP is totally un-related to all of this, however the EAP will be a valuable resource for you, too. The EAP will not be the determiner of whether you are depressed enough to get paid while you're off work. But, the EAP will set you up with a talk therapist. A competent talk therapist will help you to understand yourself better, and learn to develop different thinking patterns. The therapy will be more effective when the medications calm your mind. Or, it's possible that the therapist may serve the role of proving that you're getting treatment while you're on disability leave. Or, the insurance company may accept or require reports from the therapist to determine whether your mood changes, depression and anxiety continue to be debilitating enough that you can't work.
    3 points
  33. 3 points
  34. So sorry to hear, ((((((Raven)))))), praying for you and your dad and family!!
    3 points
  35. I hope you feel better soon (((((Camellia)))) (((((havehope))))) hope everything goes well with your boss! (((((((hugs)))))) all around to everyone struggling!! :hugs: :hugs:
    3 points
  36. Scared, hopeless, worthless, and at fault. I want to drink until I feel nothing, but I have the sense to know that would only cause more problems.
    3 points
  37. My eating has been off since my migraine on Saturday. My meals have not been regular and today I felt nauseated during exercise class. I think that was from taking my meds with breakfast. I want to get back to being myself and I'm so impatient. mywarmblood, that sounds horrible. What an awful thing to experience. I hope that those bugs will leave your house. We used to call an exterminator for fleas and cockroaches and we called him the Pied Piper because he would just make them disappear...(he used fogging, mostly, or flea bombs)
    3 points
  38. ((((gandolfication)))) More complicated nickname wasn't in stock?
    3 points
  39. Nice Post Hugs all 'round. *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
    3 points
  40. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Kaniro )))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    3 points
  41. I hate losing friends. But, I did see this one coming. She was a great help to me, but I always saw her irrational side. She told me up front that she will be jealous if I get a girlfriend. (And she wasn't even interested in me that way LOL). She loved my adulation. It's hard to take, but I guess she didn't really love me. hope - seems to me you're not getting canned - too long a delay. She is probably just backing off a while to think. You communicated your feelings and did so in a constructive way. You were very professional. Enjoy the reprieve!! :)
    2 points
  42. I woke up with a renewed sense of faith, hope and trust in myself, my path and the future. I hope this sticks --- at least for today.
    2 points
  43. (((((((((Camellia))))))))))
    2 points
  44. Teddy545, I've seen your picture as well. You're nice looking too. LaurynJcat, the kittens are very sweet.
    2 points
  45. Its more common than you think but people don't admit it because of all these rules in society, where we all have to be a certain way but that's not the way life is. Society can be ridiculous.
    2 points
  46. Odd as it seems i like my cycles. It felt like my body was working and all the flutters and cramping and moods etc proved i was alive and that in a few, it'll be back to the way it was before. anatomy is intriguing to me. But i wasn't always like this so I feel your pain!
    2 points
  47. (((((Camelia))))) You like cats, I am afraid of them but take a look at a cute creature which resembles my darling at home. Some are scared of rodents :))) http://m.123rf.com/photo-12092837_hamster.html
    2 points
  48. "Real" family can be so thoughtless. Especially around holidays. I hope that it helps to know that you are loved by your DF family (((((Camellia))))) Thank you Mulberry. That's all I can say right now. Thank you (((((((((((((((Mulberrypie)))))))))))))))))))
    2 points
  49. i don,t think people would miss me or they would have cared when I was in outpatent and no on talked to me or called me,when I told them I was just ignored,I told everyone my plans and why I want to do it,noone seemed to care..if I thought people would miss me I wouldn,t be thinking about it.today im better,and thanks I love coke.................................................... cola We would miss you, and I'm sure people in your real life would too. Sometimes I think people don't know how to love us, you know? I hear you. Most mornings I can identify with this. I'm glad you keep going.
    2 points
×
×
  • Create New...