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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/24/2015 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    Pleas don't. If you feel this way, please call a crisis line asap. (((hugs))) awwwwwwwww I wouldn't actually do that I'm too unsidedown responsible with my meds but ty for the caring =)
  2. 4 points
    For you it was a mistake, but also a lesson learned that you can apply in the future! He died so future grasshoppers might live. Your effort was noble, Epictetus!
  3. 4 points
    I learned from a mistake. I thought I could save the life of a grasshopper by bringing him inside out of the cold. I placed him in a container with ventilation, food and water, including some organic grasses. Today I saw that he had passed away. I didn't have a clue why this happened until I realized that I had not made the air holes large enough to circulate the air. The grasses had decomposed in the container giving off strong gases which I think [?] were too concentrated for the grasshopper to breathe. And so he died because of my ignoranct kindness that turned out to be cruel. Perhaps he would have better survived the cold than my kindness. I hope to never repeat that mistake again. For me if was a mistake. For the poor grasshopper, a death sentence!
  4. 3 points
    I always do this when someone says something disaproving towards me. I posted a post on reddit, the guy basically said I was stupid (in a nicer way). Yet this makes me feel worthless. There is a pit that just grew inside me and it is growing now because some random guy said something disaproving. Everytime I fail or mess up I get this growing pit. If I make someone feel bad by accident I start to cry and usually start saying how I want to just "****ing die" softly to myself (but out loud, not in my head). I can get from content (don't really get happy) to wanting to just be rid of myself in seconds. I seriously don't like most things about myself. I always will think I'm a loser, and even say it under my breath just throughout the day. I could write a novel talking about all the ways I suck, but I could only write 1 or 2 pages describing good qualities. I was just raised to hate myself due to school, bullying, adults disaproving of me, me comparing myself to everyone. I can't even stand to look in the mirror, I just want to punch the reflection until it dies.
  5. 3 points

    The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2

    I had a good day apart from being a bit tired. In fact the last couple days haven't been that bad except for fatigue. I've actually had some motivation, so I've been researching and planning something that I've been wanting to do for some time now, make and sell jewelry. Now I just need to save up some money for the equipment and supplies I don't already have. I've got some books and things I think might sell on ebay to make a few dollars. In the mean time I have supplies to make a few pieces.
  6. 3 points
    Just another moment realizing that if my depressive feelings alter my apperence or behaviors, that a lot of people will see this as an oppurtunity to use me to their advantage or to step on me. This is just another reason why I feel the need to hide how I feel when I'm down and out. Not just to perform to protect my paycheck at work, but to protect my dignity as well. Some people pray of the vulnerable because they know exactly how vulnerable some people are.
  7. 3 points
    I feel like a failure because I can't get what I want..
  8. 3 points

    Coping With Poor Self Image

    Well, I'm "plain-looking", to be charitable. And I've got a few other physical issues/disabilities going on, most of which I can and am trying to work on. OK. Let's say, for the sake of argument that we're all ugly. I'll bet together we can name many "ugly" people that have been great successes. Lyle Lovett, Danny DeVito... heck, Einstein wasn't a prize, but seems to have been a ladies' man. Look at some of your country's politicians! What else is up with you? Why do you let physical appearance - your opinion of which is probably distorted due to depression anyway - define you? How's your brain? How's your hygiene? How's your level of fitness? Can you get around and do the things you want and need to do? How's your personality - friendliness, helpfulness, etc? Do you have interests and/or hobbies? What are you PASSIONATE about? What about education? There are SO MANY facets to you other than physical appearance. And a lot of people will look past that, anyway, to see what else you have to offer. It's hard, I know. I've lived this for decades. And it took me the longest time to figure out that if I displayed something - anything - that people wanted, they'd accept me. Besides, think about it. Think about an "average-looking" man or woman. 50% of everybody out there is uglier. Take care!
  9. 3 points
    I would rather have not been born. i really struggle with the physical plane and always feel like i should be in spirit form. i feel like I'm dead in everything but body.i find everyday life like tidying, washing etc so exhausting. I've felt like this for years. i find the physical plane so restricting. Having said that I'm still scared of dying.
  10. 3 points
    Managed to get some stuff done today.I guess I`m feeling okay right now.Night is when I start t feel the depression the most.When I lie down to go to bed all the things I`m worried about overwhelm my mind.I just get this really low feeliing and I can`t shake it.
  11. 3 points
    Depends on the day but I'm thinking 3-4 times a day on average. Some days I hurt so much I spend the entire day thinking about how nice it would be to not exist. On other days I just think about it wmfrom time to time or when something even vaguelly unpleasant happens that makes me think I'd rather die than deal with it.
  12. 3 points
    I'm so sorry that so many here are struggling with so many things - I don't know what to say except I'm sending best wishes for things to look up soon for everyone; *hugs* to you all -
  13. 3 points
    Hey everyone's it's been a while since I posted here. Sending hugs to everyone. I've been doing better, but at the same time I'm still struggling. Next month I turn 21 and that's all I look forward to really as of recently. I've been going out more often but I can't exactly say if it's helping or not. I have crying spells throughout the week and it seems so normal to me now...
  14. 2 points

    Why Am I Not Depressed???

    All that I have to Deal with Seems I would Be this way..I read alot about folks ******* themselves ,using drugs because of depression..? Here is my life. I grew up my mother and father divorced, never much seen my dad,my mom dated drunks and left my brother and I at home, or with so called friends. never much told us she LOVED us..she was on well fair. NOT her fault she worked but got hurt at work.. disabled.. so we didnt get much christmas. or birthday presents etc. much less got candy much.. they were times we ate manoynaise sandwiches.. so I quite school started work. at 16, had pretty much cook. clean ourselves growing up. well worked into a career.then opened my own small business. got married ,had a child.. My wife has bipolar. so she would have a break down every 3 or so years have to change her meds around.. then my mother same.. she is bipolar have to put her in and out of hospitals every so many years. have to take care of her bils. etc.. plus try to work sometimes have to take off week at a time.. that hurts the budget.... then my brother. is a druggy.. he dont do a thing.. have to help him now and again.. get out of trouble or help him with money to eat.. worry about bills.. cause the time I have to take off,, dont get spent time with few friends I do have.. I should be totally depressed..and in a psych ward.. BUT IM NOT..I love life.. LIKE to still get out and do things. when I can.. from what Ive read. only one of these things get others down. .here I have over 4 or 5 things that should be ruining my life.. .hell Im probably undiagnosed bipolar myself.. but cant LET it stop me from achieving my goals.. the old saying SUCK IT UP and MOVE ON.... you gotta be strong and say .IM NOT GIVING IN to this crap.. IM strong..I can take it and keep GOING.... Thats what I do.. sure I could just give up.. but what good would that DO ANYONE especially ME..??? I keep going and going..
  15. 2 points
    Every once and while.
  16. 2 points
    Most days I don't. But when I'm near the nadir of one of my downward spirals, I can ideate this many times per day. It's disturbing. Especially disturbing since if I had the guts to go through with it, I probably would have by now. But who knows what the future will bring... Take care, all.
  17. 2 points
    At least once. Often 6 days a week. I feel like I'm in everybody's way.
  18. 2 points
    Sent some emails, managed two meals, had a bath. Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk
  19. 2 points
    I guess I did, but I'm also disappointed. My anxiety screwed me over and I chickened out rather than ask a person if they wanted to do something. I'll try again tomorrow.
  20. 2 points

    What I Am Doing To Improve Life

    Life is strange. The haven't been able to be here for a little while. Just been so busy. I almost got fired but instead was promoted. That was and is good. Bette position as an executive search recruiter, recruiting director level to CEOs for emerging to mid cap companies. My own office, laptop, working with higher level of professionals. Unfortunately, my company plays hardball, and simce they knewy numbers, they offered no raise. We moved into a new rental house which is better for us and the kids. We're just out of money. I don't want to continue to love with the stress and indignity of not knowing and not being able to take care of or phone oviee security to my family. And right now I feel like I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to. Im just worn down. No one wants to live this long in this kind of state of fear. Insuppose most of us hear do, and maybe most do in general. I have the opportunity to get a raise withing the next 2 months. And there is always the possibility still of a real higher paying job. It always is out there. Yah, in just tired of feeling desperate. When I interviewd (11 times) for this current promotion sans raise, the President told me I just have to keep running ahead of the flames. I thoughtbto myself, 'really? Is that all there is? I know what that's like.' There are still things I do when iblive in the moment and I think am still happy at times. Watching my kids. Taking them places. A great movie or book. I took them on a tour of the white house today which was cool. But I am back here because I needed to be. I am losing the desire to keep living. My son will be coming in mid December, and I have no answers. It should be exciting, but is not really at all if I am honest because I don't know how to turn off the thoughts or reality adequately. (What sort of awful world permits this?) I'm being sued my the unscrupulous TMS provider for $10,000 I don't have (and they don't deserve, but theyll be able to win a judgment and can collect at least some through garnishment, which I can't afford reputationally or financially. I know my family will have more stability and better loves with me still here. But I don't know if I can live via that motivation for much longer. I can't expell the fear from the front of my mind. Well, posting here is something I wanted to do. I'm not sure why. Beautiful fall day. Will be gone too soon. Hope others here are well. Perhaps I'll find my way through this. I want to see a satisfying outcome (or at least one that isn't bats*** crazy) to our next US election. I guess one day, one moment at a time as always. I know I have experienced love as much or more than most. That is something.
  21. 2 points
    fish20- please don't punch the reflection. People say mean things all the time unfortunately. And unfortunately, it can be even easier online. People don't have to talk to each other face to face, and some people just use it as an excuse to say whatever without having to take responsibility. It's like when all those people say awful things to celebrities on their twitter accounts. They aren't saying it to their face, and because of that, it's almost like they aren't saying it to another person. People hide behind the computer screen, and it takes the humanity out of the equation. It isn't ok, but it happens. I'm sorry it happened to you, and I know it isn't easy to just let comments like that go. You are anything but worthless.
  22. 2 points

    Random Thoughts

    I wish my brain would tell me what it wants
  23. 2 points
    And I also wish I was an alcholic and could just drink my problems away. But no, I cant even do that! Signed pathetic person!
  24. 2 points
    Built a PC... Have always wanted to so I got together some parts and put one together. Haven't had a Windows machine in a long time since in a studio we mostly use Macs. The PC is white and goes together with everything else in the room.
  25. 2 points
    Came to DF,and feel protected and safe with you hanging all around,bought my new med lamictal with a feeling of new hope in the horizon.