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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/24/2015 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    Tired, but feeling pretty good right now. My annoying co-manager and my #1 competition if we do wind up getting the assistant manager position in our store is stepping down from being manager. I am so happy about this I could cry. My stress at work is going to go down even though I'll probably be working a bit more until we get a replacement for her.
  2. 4 points
    I visited a friend for a few minutes. I washed some dishes and put away some clean clothes. I did some sewing. All in all, not a bad day.
  3. 4 points
    trying to recover from an anxiety attack... its been a month since i have been back in town and have only left the house once to hang out with a friend... i tried to do it again... and it felt like the walls where closing in and i couldnt breathe.... i know i need to get over this anti social bit of depression but it is soo hard right now!!
  4. 4 points
    Pleas don't. If you feel this way, please call a crisis line asap. (((hugs))) awwwwwwwww I wouldn't actually do that I'm too unsidedown responsible with my meds but ty for the caring =)
  5. 4 points
    For you it was a mistake, but also a lesson learned that you can apply in the future! He died so future grasshoppers might live. Your effort was noble, Epictetus!
  6. 4 points
    I learned from a mistake. I thought I could save the life of a grasshopper by bringing him inside out of the cold. I placed him in a container with ventilation, food and water, including some organic grasses. Today I saw that he had passed away. I didn't have a clue why this happened until I realized that I had not made the air holes large enough to circulate the air. The grasses had decomposed in the container giving off strong gases which I think [?] were too concentrated for the grasshopper to breathe. And so he died because of my ignoranct kindness that turned out to be cruel. Perhaps he would have better survived the cold than my kindness. I hope to never repeat that mistake again. For me if was a mistake. For the poor grasshopper, a death sentence!
  7. 3 points
    I always do this when someone says something disaproving towards me. I posted a post on reddit, the guy basically said I was stupid (in a nicer way). Yet this makes me feel worthless. There is a pit that just grew inside me and it is growing now because some random guy said something disaproving. Everytime I fail or mess up I get this growing pit. If I make someone feel bad by accident I start to cry and usually start saying how I want to just "****ing die" softly to myself (but out loud, not in my head). I can get from content (don't really get happy) to wanting to just be rid of myself in seconds. I seriously don't like most things about myself. I always will think I'm a loser, and even say it under my breath just throughout the day. I could write a novel talking about all the ways I suck, but I could only write 1 or 2 pages describing good qualities. I was just raised to hate myself due to school, bullying, adults disaproving of me, me comparing myself to everyone. I can't even stand to look in the mirror, I just want to punch the reflection until it dies.
  8. 3 points

    The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2

    I had a good day apart from being a bit tired. In fact the last couple days haven't been that bad except for fatigue. I've actually had some motivation, so I've been researching and planning something that I've been wanting to do for some time now, make and sell jewelry. Now I just need to save up some money for the equipment and supplies I don't already have. I've got some books and things I think might sell on ebay to make a few dollars. In the mean time I have supplies to make a few pieces.
  9. 3 points
    Just another moment realizing that if my depressive feelings alter my apperence or behaviors, that a lot of people will see this as an oppurtunity to use me to their advantage or to step on me. This is just another reason why I feel the need to hide how I feel when I'm down and out. Not just to perform to protect my paycheck at work, but to protect my dignity as well. Some people pray of the vulnerable because they know exactly how vulnerable some people are.
  10. 3 points
    I feel like a failure because I can't get what I want..
  11. 3 points

    Coping With Poor Self Image

    Well, I'm "plain-looking", to be charitable. And I've got a few other physical issues/disabilities going on, most of which I can and am trying to work on. OK. Let's say, for the sake of argument that we're all ugly. I'll bet together we can name many "ugly" people that have been great successes. Lyle Lovett, Danny DeVito... heck, Einstein wasn't a prize, but seems to have been a ladies' man. Look at some of your country's politicians! What else is up with you? Why do you let physical appearance - your opinion of which is probably distorted due to depression anyway - define you? How's your brain? How's your hygiene? How's your level of fitness? Can you get around and do the things you want and need to do? How's your personality - friendliness, helpfulness, etc? Do you have interests and/or hobbies? What are you PASSIONATE about? What about education? There are SO MANY facets to you other than physical appearance. And a lot of people will look past that, anyway, to see what else you have to offer. It's hard, I know. I've lived this for decades. And it took me the longest time to figure out that if I displayed something - anything - that people wanted, they'd accept me. Besides, think about it. Think about an "average-looking" man or woman. 50% of everybody out there is uglier. Take care!
  12. 3 points
    I would rather have not been born. i really struggle with the physical plane and always feel like i should be in spirit form. i feel like I'm dead in everything but body.i find everyday life like tidying, washing etc so exhausting. I've felt like this for years. i find the physical plane so restricting. Having said that I'm still scared of dying.
  13. 3 points
    Managed to get some stuff done today.I guess I`m feeling okay right now.Night is when I start t feel the depression the most.When I lie down to go to bed all the things I`m worried about overwhelm my mind.I just get this really low feeliing and I can`t shake it.
  14. 3 points
    Depends on the day but I'm thinking 3-4 times a day on average. Some days I hurt so much I spend the entire day thinking about how nice it would be to not exist. On other days I just think about it wmfrom time to time or when something even vaguelly unpleasant happens that makes me think I'd rather die than deal with it.
  15. 3 points
    I'm so sorry that so many here are struggling with so many things - I don't know what to say except I'm sending best wishes for things to look up soon for everyone; *hugs* to you all -
  16. 3 points
    Hey everyone's it's been a while since I posted here. Sending hugs to everyone. I've been doing better, but at the same time I'm still struggling. Next month I turn 21 and that's all I look forward to really as of recently. I've been going out more often but I can't exactly say if it's helping or not. I have crying spells throughout the week and it seems so normal to me now...
  17. 2 points

    Why Am I Not Depressed???

    All that I have to Deal with Seems I would Be this way..I read alot about folks ******* themselves ,using drugs because of depression..? Here is my life. I grew up my mother and father divorced, never much seen my dad,my mom dated drunks and left my brother and I at home, or with so called friends. never much told us she LOVED us..she was on well fair. NOT her fault she worked but got hurt at work.. disabled.. so we didnt get much christmas. or birthday presents etc. much less got candy much.. they were times we ate manoynaise sandwiches.. so I quite school started work. at 16, had pretty much cook. clean ourselves growing up. well worked into a career.then opened my own small business. got married ,had a child.. My wife has bipolar. so she would have a break down every 3 or so years have to change her meds around.. then my mother same.. she is bipolar have to put her in and out of hospitals every so many years. have to take care of her bils. etc.. plus try to work sometimes have to take off week at a time.. that hurts the budget.... then my brother. is a druggy.. he dont do a thing.. have to help him now and again.. get out of trouble or help him with money to eat.. worry about bills.. cause the time I have to take off,, dont get spent time with few friends I do have.. I should be totally depressed..and in a psych ward.. BUT IM NOT..I love life.. LIKE to still get out and do things. when I can.. from what Ive read. only one of these things get others down. .here I have over 4 or 5 things that should be ruining my life.. .hell Im probably undiagnosed bipolar myself.. but cant LET it stop me from achieving my goals.. the old saying SUCK IT UP and MOVE ON.... you gotta be strong and say .IM NOT GIVING IN to this crap.. IM strong..I can take it and keep GOING.... Thats what I do.. sure I could just give up.. but what good would that DO ANYONE especially ME..??? I keep going and going..
  18. 2 points

    Another "down" Day

    Can't you see your psychiatrist sooner if your meds aren't working? It sounds like you are indeed surrounded by stressors, but you're coping. Hang in there! Your dad seems to be doing better. And you seem to have a good handle on your work situation - you've got choices to make there. And maybe now that your dad is better, you can take a weekend or a couple of days off and go somewhere? Or treat yourself to a life "cheat day" - do a little shopping and take in a movie and maybe do dinner with hubby? All my best.
  19. 2 points
    I had a few carbs too. Today we went to this noodle/dumpling place for lunch--seriously. That's all they have on the menu! I got a pan roast, ate the meat and nibbled at the noodles (because I didn't want to seem weird not eating the noodles...which were good). I have to admit that I feel lucky with my current meds cocktail. There are things I'm happy about and I feel it. Or maybe that's why I've gotten into baseball so much...for the jolts of adrenaline and endorphins, so badly needed... In any event, for me, once we added Strattera and I got beyond the awful dry mouth, it's like night and day. Add a little caffeine every day and that helps even more. Also, coming here regularly is more help than ever! Now I have to talk myself into doing my laundry...bah!
  20. 2 points
    Unless my depression reaches a psychotic state, there is always some part of me that is somehow outside my thought stream, like some little voice that keeps telling me: "Hey Epictetus, don't take your automatic thoughts seriously when you are feeling depressed." That little voice almost gets drowned out by self-destructive thoughts that "pop" into my head. I feel as though, if that little voice were completely silenced, maybe I would not be here. But I am 60 now. Once when I was in a severe depression and in a psychiatric hospital, the little voice was almost completely drowned out. But somehow, someway it keep resisting. It was like my thought stream was: "There is no hope, no hope, no hope, no hope, no hope, no hope," and then there was this little interior voice: "You are not all-seeing and all-knowing. You don't know the future. You cannot say there is no hope. There is always hope!" There were times when I didn't think I would live to be 13 years old or 30 years old or 40 years old. My life was in the toilet so to speak. I am 60 now and some of the best things in my life happened to me when I was 58 and 59 and 60. And it was like those things completely redefined me. I find now that I like to help people and that this is important to me and gives me a sense of meaning and purpose and peace. And I realize that I had to fail and mess up and go through hell before I could reach this point. I can't explain it at all!!! It is like when you are reading a book and everything is going badly for the protagonist and you might even find yourself losing sympathy for him or her and then in the last chapter of the book something happens that not only redeems the present but makes sense and redeems the entire past of that character. I often think of the German Oskar Schindler, a man with failed marriages, failed businesses, broken dreams, bad habits and then he went and did something: he saved the lives of thousands of Jews who were headed to concentration camps. Even after that he failed at many things too and yet that one thing redeemed him. And it is almost like, well, maybe if all that misfortune hadn't stricken him, maybe he wouldn't have done that one incredibly heroic thing in his life, that thing that defined him. Sorry I can't put this into words. It is so difficult.
  21. 2 points
    Oh thx brian :sheep: heh this is the life we are forced to live in...we want to be happy when we're trapped in stone houses and travelling in metal junkies and do the jobs that we don't like...humanity destroyed all the nature around them to call it modern life..life became a modern prison for suffering mentally.
  22. 2 points
    Went to the store, whew, cleaned both litter boxes, repotted plants, cleaned the toilet
  23. 2 points
    Wondering how its going to "feel" living in a shelter? At least I wont be alone there.
  24. 2 points
    Had the day off from work today (Geelong cup day) so i made the most of it. Called into work and handed in a medical cert to say that i wont be in tomorrow or friday. Saw my GP on tuesday night after work and having the rest of the week off due to work related stress etc. Saw my counceller in Melbourne today, first time in 8 months and all went well there. Called into Total Tools in Brooklyn on the way home and spent $300 bucks on tools, mainly for home, also called into Repco and bought engine oil for the XD (its due for a service) steering wheel puller and a set of spark plugs for the XH. Fitted the clockspring from my brothers old LTD and the horn now works, and i've decided to remove the LPG wiring as its been poking at me like a sharp tooth pick.
  25. 2 points
    nothing. just lay in bed all day. :verysad3: