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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/12/2015 in all areas

  1. Not especially good. Hope I can dial things back up again tomorrow. Was supposed to have lunch with a work friend today - she eMailed me EARLY this morning to say she'd hurt her back and couldn't make it. I read the eMail and went "WHEW!!! Now I don't have to shower or get out of the house or ANYTHING!" Ordered pizza and soda for delivery this evening. A very expensive dinner. This is how I know I'm kind of down... Have a good night y'all!
    10 points
  2. Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canucks!!! And Happy Blue Jays Win!!! Happy regular Monday to the rest of my friends here. I am sooooooooo tired of this on-line dating thing. I mean, I had a lovely date with a woman yesterday and she said she would like to get together again and I said, yeah, me too, and so I texted her today and .... crickets. 15 hours now and counting. Well, maybe tomorrow, maybe not, but I am tired of this waiting to see if people will respond. Saw Shania Twain with my son tonight in Toronto - lots of fun. Shania, dear, call me if you are ever single (not that I am hoping something goes wrong with your beau :) I am thinking of just having my reproductive parts removed and living with my cat for the rest of my life. Cheers Brian
    9 points
  3. Awful news! I feel so helpless when I read about such events. All I can do is keep you and yours, and the people of Turkey--I have friends from Izmir, their mom is still there. And I know it's far from Ankara, but it's jolt to the whole country. Hugs for you, desperados. Prayers/positive energy to your nation. That we live in a world where people come up with ideas like shredding people with metal balls is beyond my comprehension. I'm so sorry this is a reality for you. Thx to all it's more than 90 killed....wish i could live in a more civilized country,here our border neighbors are Iraq,Syria,Iran. ISIS and Kurdish rebel terrorists nests in those places.
    9 points
  4. Trying to find the courage to apply for a few retail jobs, in person.
    8 points
  5. I feel anxious and a bit jazzed up from too much coffee. I'm thinking of screaming it out a bit. Just finished a 45 minute job assessment test or whatever the hell you want to call it. Geesh, trying to find a job isn't like it was 7 years ago. Ratboy- I hope today is better. Desperado- Stay safe. I'm so sorry for what is going on in your country. Gentlerobot- Depression lies. Please believe me when I say you are just as important as anyone. TB- I hear you, I'm glad you came and shared how you are feeling. Kogent5 - Good thoughts coming your way. Brian- please don't go to that extreme. Happy Thanksgiving to you and all the Canadian folks here :) feelinglostagain - Best of luck on the job searching! havehope- I hope your break was therapeutic for you. Welcome back. Mia- I hope the headaches go away soon, could definitely be the medication. I hope today is a better day. Twilight Sky - there's no right or wrong thread. Hugs to everyone. Be kind to yourself today.
    7 points
  6. Feel bad for my dad. He thinks I spend most of my time out of the house hanging out with friends. In reality I've lost most of my friends and spend 98% of my time alone. Some things happened this weekend that got me down. Too tired to discuss it. It is Thanksgiving here tomorrow so I will try to be thankful...
    7 points
  7. Feel like an unlovable waste of a human being with nothing useful to offer this world or anyone. I always wanted to be special, have an identity, just be someone, but I'm just a normal guy with the added factor of being depressed and having social anxiety, so basically, I am hopeless. Just another guy who people will forget when I die. I thought I was a musician, but I'm just average at composing, even though I am a good instrumentalist; who gives a ###### about that anyway. I thought I was a writer, I was terrible at that. I thought I was a painter, I suck at that. I am 26 now, have a stable job, no girlfriend, and a few friends. I have no social skills to speak of and I feel like I will die alone and be remembered as that guy who went to work then went home. I don't want to be that guy, but to be something else I need to be good at it, which I am not. Besides, what I want to be, a musician, does not pay well, and as the only son it is my job to take care of my parents in their old age, which my boring corporate job helps me do. That is all that keeps me going, the sense of responsibility. I am just a pathetic human being who is this close to breaking down and giving up.
    7 points
  8. Oh i took new med zeldox yesterday night it over activated me and couldn't sleep for 12 hours then took high dose of seroquel to counter it since then sleeping for 15 hours now i get up at 4 am..noting to do i got med again to go back to sleep again.
    7 points
  9. I've had four headaches in as many days. I wonder if it's the Wellbutrin? Follena - I'm about to go low carb again too. Usually get a massive headache for a few days when I do that. Double Whammy headaches, oh fun!
    7 points
  10. Had a bit of a crying spell earlier today, but I blame it on physiology, nothing more. Two girlfriends phoned me and I'll see my sons tonight. Day three of being back on low carb which is crucial to bettering my depression. Luv to all of you.
    7 points
  11. I've been feeling sickly today, apart from that not too bad. Have had to deal with several panic attacks though.
    7 points
  12. I'll be glad when my work day is done and I'm at home so I can cry.
    7 points
  13. I have decided that my weight is one of the roots of, if not the main root of my depression...causing low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-worth and some physical ailments including mild sleep apnea and probably low metabolism, which are both zapping my energy. My weight and being out of shape keeps me from doing lots of things I'd want to do, it keeps me indoors too much. I saw the sleep specialist a couple days ago and since my apnea is mild he says I don't really need a cpap machine. He recommended a dental device or losing weight. I have been trying to lose weight and have managed to lose some this yr. already, but haven't lost anything in a couple months and I really needle to buckle down and get back to it. My exercising has been sporadic at best. But it's kind of a catch 22, I need to lose weight so I'll sleep better and have more energy and not be so depressed, but I need energy and motivation (meaning no depression) to be able to exercise with any regularity and enough "oomph" to lose the weight. GAH. This is where I'm really praying that the Wellbutrin (or some AD med) will provide some much needed help...and SOON.
    7 points
  14. Hi all, I'm back after a short break. I miss you all too much & it turns out I can't stay away for too long. I also need the extra support, especially since I am currently in between therapists. desperados --- Omg... my heart goes out to you & to Turkey!! How horrific..... this world is truly falling apart when it comes to terrorism, and then of course many other issues. Else --- thank you for your kind words & support! :) Big hugs. Brian --- :( so sorry..... online dating can be very frustrating... I've done it many times and remember having to go through many, many dates before finding someone that was compatible. I hope for your success... do hang in there, and take a break if needed!! Big hugs & Happy Thanksgiving!! Gentlerobot --- welcome to DF!! There are a few positives you mentioned to hold onto, ie, having a stable job, having a few friends, and being a good instrumentalist, even if you think that doesn't matter it's a positive. Please don't give up hope, you're young and life can be full of possibility, depending on how you look at it. Things can get better. You'll find a ton of support here, you're not alone, & you can vent all you like... I'm glad you're here. :) Big hugs. And big hugs to all
    6 points
  15. Thx Ratboy,slept 20 hours feeling light headed with less anxiety more boringness. My four cats salute your cat Brain,Furballs are always happy. Oh sorry to here Kogent5 i've lost 100% of my non existed friend. Depression is the god of lies it tries to think us like you say gentlerobot. Desperate thoughts are the beings who are little liars and close to breaking down and giving up.
    6 points
  16. Feeling sick. I've been having a rough few days. My period has totally messed everything up in my mind and my body. Going to make a doctor's appointment to see what can be done about this. Had a suicidal feeling night on Friday, then yesterday was in so much physical pain I could barely walk, and I have to be on my feet all day at work. Now I'm feeling a little better mentally but physically I'm just destroyed. I don't have to work today thankfully, but ug I'm feeling so ill.
    6 points
  17. Exactly..... lots of inhumanity & sickness here as well. The state of our world and of humanity is truly shocking. It's all just very, very upsetting.
    5 points
  18. {{{Hugs}}} JD, I'm sorry about your friend.
    5 points
  19. 5 points
  20. Eh, not too good I guess. Its really hard for me to care about or enjoy things. Usually I fake it but its so tiring to have to be someone else all day everyday its truly exhausting. Thanks I just had to actually say that to someone I have never actually said it before.
    5 points
  21. Well after the terrible trip I had with paxil last night I feel better today now that I switched back to Effexor, hopefully will have a good day.
    5 points
  22. I think I'm finally pulling out of a slump, fingers crossed! Nothing in my life has changed for the better, but I'm happy today
    4 points
  23. Thanks Renee Trying to motivate.... hmm..... I need to motivate to advance my career educationally, yet once again I'm dragging my heels. I took a baby step and found the course material though so I suppose that's something. Where is my previous gung ho energy where I would just delve into my studies full throttle with enthusiasm and sheer determination? Wish I could bring it back to life.
    4 points
  24. Hi Mia - I hear you about the first few days of low carb eating. It's so worth it. I'm posting on the whay-did-you-eat-today thread to keep myself accountable. Good for you for taking care of yourself. Dear, dear GentlerRobot. You are like all of us. We are mostly average. We are lovable and sooooo valuable in our "average-ness". It sounds like you love the arts - music, writing, painting. I hope you keep enjoying those things even if they don't bring you a profession or fame. Fame is a stupid lie about value. The most humble hidden heart is a thing of utter beauty and value. I hope good people will enter your life, friends, a life partner. Big hugs.
    4 points
  25. Oh yes havehope i'm sorry for you have to experience the same sick,twisted,inhuman actions in your country too...starting with Ferguson's death then a cop who shot at unarmed black man 8 times in the back should face death penalty or life in prison.Hate the cop terrorism too from all over the world.
    4 points
  26. Oh my goodness.. that is absolutely horrifying. I can't even imagine how you must feel being so close to such an act and to experience the sheer horror of it. It makes me so very sick to my stomach and enraged by these sick, twisted, demented, inhumane terrorist actions.
    4 points
  27. Thanks everyone. This friend had retired only four years ago. He was enjoying his retirement at least.
    4 points
  28. A woman once told me I wasn't allowed to worry about "that" until it happened. I've been telling myself that for a couple of years now when my mind starts to wander, which it always does, and it helps a little.
    4 points
  29. :verysad3: :verysad3: :verysad3: oh no, how horrible.... so very sorry! Guess I spoke too soon about that shoe staying on...then again, random tragic events do happen that are out of our control completely. Ugh.... so very sorry for your loss.... big hugs being sent your way.. I know how devastatingly painful that is
    4 points
  30. Well, there it is...a friend of mine who I used to work with died over the weekend. I found out less than 5 minutes after posting my previous message. OK, it has nothing to do with my thought process. But Dammit.
    4 points
  31. Here's a good example of my negative thought process: I'm feeling pretty decent today and things are going smoothly. But I'm worrying about the other shoe dropping--something *has* to go wrong in my life. More likely sooner rather than later. That's the way it's always been. Ya see?
    4 points
  32. Thanks ff, but still have headache, neck & backache too. I took some tension headache medicine (Tylenol + caffeine) but am thinking about taking a muscle relaxer too. I have palpable knots on the back of my head.
    4 points
  33. Take care of yourself, Desperados.
    4 points
  34. Oh the joys of mood swings. Ha. You raise a question worthy of discussion. It's something I've been really thinking about lately. I've noticed that so many of us, including me, have this tendency to want to fight our brains. I'm wondering if anyone has had any success is giving this fight up a bit? I have this habit of questioning things before I have them hammered out, but I'm not referring to giving up the fight to live, or even to live well within the confines of our illnesses, but rather give up this idea that somehow I can wrestle more out of myself than I realistically can. Would the world come to an end if I just accepted that there are going to be days I cannot show up. I will go to the grocery with stains on my shirt and not be worried by it. Confession. I found a noodle stuck to my top while shopping the other day. I seriously thought for one minute that I was so pathetic and then I just had to laugh. Don't get me wrong here, I basically look presentable when I go out, but there was a time I wouldn't go unless I was perfect and now it seems I swung a little to far in the other direction for a while. Anyway, the point is who cares if I'm the way I am? Maybe I just don't want to expend all of the energy it takes to be super skinny and shiny all of the time. Yes, renee - I have had some success, periodically doing this. So much so that I think it is essential, especially for people like me who can ruminate almost to an OCD level. Trouble, as always I find, is settling my brain down when it's "going wild." In other words, I find it difficult to stop fighting.
    4 points
  35. Dang, I missed a lot of posts! A few recaps: Freckledface, you have every bit as much right to that oxygen as anyone else. Keep on breathing it, and exhaling CO2 so the plants can live! I feel really bad about what happened in Turkey. This whole world seems on edge. Maybe it always has been but we are now getting the news faster. Havehope, glad you are sticking around! Me? I'm feeling pretty good. My daughter and I visited the site of a Native American settlement that was active around 1500 years ago, as part of her anthropology class. It was an amazing couple of hours. It's a real perspective-changer to think you're standing on ground that other people have been standing on for thousands of years. The professor who led the tour said that there's evidence of people living in our area dating back 12,000 years. They hunted mammoths and mastodons. Can you imagine those big suckers roaming around the countryside?? Happy Sunday, everyone.
    4 points
  36. In the darkness, too, stars come to life. Cosmic creation is unstoppable while alone, staring at the dark, dark sky.. look..just a few of them have twinkled! Look for another turbulence in atmosphere, star will fall. For you.
    4 points
  37. Sorry for your loss, JD I'm sorry you have to be near that, I hope all this senseless violence gets resolved soon..
    3 points
  38. JD - take that shoe, go outside and fling it so hard it lands in China and there it will stay. Next time you think something bad is coming, say no, enough bad things have happened so odds are something good is about to come.
    3 points
  39. Feeling a bit better than this weekend. Having some anxiety over work but not much I can do about it. Still feeling pretty physically wiped, but at least I only have to work tonight then another day off tomorrow.
    3 points
  40. I hear you JD.... I tend to go to the negative myself within my own life. I don't know how to fix that except to see it happening, then deliberately try to come up with a more positive angle/outlook on a situation. it's not easy though and takes a lot of practice.... I think in CBT it's called thought stopping? I'm not sure.... so the other shoe could very likely stay right where it is. :) hugs, HH
    3 points
  41. Thanks, FF :) It was therapeutic... I'm praying for you with your job search!! Keep on keep on trucking. Those tests can be brutal... go scream it out if you need to. I've got high anxiety going on today too.... my boss threw a huge challenge my way and naturally I'm now overly anxious as usual over the concern that I can't do it. I need to have more confidence in my abilities.
    3 points
  42. I feel stupid for posting in the wrong version of this thread. >_>
    3 points
  43. Twix bars are really good.
    3 points
  44. Need to be heard in loneliness, not to be hurt. In desperation. Not listen to and to hurt, many times Because of ignoration. Being hurt or not to hear? Human nature. Depends on situation.
    3 points
  45. I had my chicken legs.. I'm temporarily very pleased
    3 points
  46. 3 points
  47. Hey RatBoy, thought your response to Kate was a really good analysis of where Kate is now and at the same time giving her choices to fill her time at home. And your last response was extremely caring. Very compassionate response! I'm sure it mean't a lot to Kate. Just thought I should let you know!
    3 points
  48. Happy to have a job, a car and a roof over my head. But so lonely and sad. I hate to admit it but I look forward to going back to work after the weekend. I don't really like my job but I need some interaction with people!
    3 points
  49. highanxiety, I can hear my words from the very distant past "Don't talk about it, you'll be fine." Now I'm asking, hell, why people don't hear me, why don't they? They comfort their minds with saying: "Don't think about it, you'll be okay."
    3 points
  50. Kogent5

    The Post Anything Thread

    cr (she does a lot of depression comics) Edit: Haha I like this one too.
    3 points
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