Jump to content

Leaderboard


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/19/2014 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    JD4010

    What Are You Proud Of Today?

    Not touching a drop of booze for six days.
  2. 2 points
    Alaskan907

    Am I Just Oversensitive?

    Im the youngest of four kids. I'm closest in age to my brother, he's four years older then me. He's pretty much been a little mean to me all my life. When I was younger he would beat the crap out of me, but even though he did I still loved him and it really didn't affect me that much. I still wanted to hang out with him and stuff. But now I'm 15 and he's 19 and he doesnt hit me anymore but now he's just really mean. He's always insulting me and like criticizing everything I do. He says I'm just too sensitive and i cant take a joke but the joke just isnt ****ing funny anymore. words do hurt. and my mom knows. I've asked her to tell him to stop. But he hasn't. He's mean to me right in front of her, just like ten minutes ago hr was calling me a bltch right in front of her. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't be mean back, I'm just not that mean. What should I do? Does anybody else have an older sibling that bullies you? Thats how I feel, if somebody were to say these things to me at school they could get in serious trouble. But at home, the place where I'm supposed to be safe, it's okay.. I don't understand why my mom won't stop this, she wont help me. Meh. I guess I'm just gonna have to wait until he moves out. I can't wait. But then I'm gonna be living alone with my mother, now that's a whole other story.
  3. 2 points
    I know....and I try to realize that I have made strides of late....very recent late so I know its all raw and I am still in the "it gets worse before it gets better "stage. I pretty much know today is probably about having to come to my moms. I am pounded by criticism here most of the time. I can do nothing right in her eyes. I have to emotionally wall myself off. Its hard to take care of someone who absolutely needs it.....someone who really is a beautiful person...yet this other person too. For whatever reason it has taken great restraint to not cut lately. I don't know why that is such a release, but it is. I have to fight it......Literally in every moment some days. Thank you!!
  4. 2 points
    Well the more obvious problems seems to be cortisol in your results which indicate stress or anxiety. Your vitamin dlevel is slighly under the range so i guess it wudnt hurt to take vit d3. Your tsh is also slighly above range which indicate hypothyroid but again this is very mild. Not surprisingly, your prolactin is high which indicate low sex drive probably caused by anhedonia and low dopamine. You would have much higher prolactin if you had pituary tumor. Im not a doctor but looking at your results all seems normal and everything indicate you have stress problems which can definetely affect the thyroid gland and prolactin. You also have very minor vit d deficiency. As generalfailure said it would be more conveniant to see these things with real doctors and not forum people. But gollwing your results my best advice for you is to try to reduce stress and take vit d3. Not much else to do.
  5. 2 points
    You have an enormous amount going on and anyone would find it hard. Well done for identifying some of what is going on. Maybe you can think of what ways you can be kind to yourself. Maybe turn the perfectionism away from being "strong" and towards getting well again and that means not pretending that something isn't there that is.
  6. 2 points
    Hertz

    Dream: Parents

    I'm with my brother. I'm preparing for a trip with my parents. I'm packing my stuff. I have two suitcases and a backpack. Suddenly, I see my parents leave without me by car. They have forgotten me. I tell my brother that they did a Freudian slip by doing this. I try to interpret it. I venture to my brother, with childlike joy and hope, that they left me behind because they're going away to reunite. My brother says no, that the meaning is that they are going through conflict, and they are sorting it out amongst themselves. Interpretation: My parents divorced when I was 7. What tainted my relationship with women was a desire to reunite my parents by proxy. My brother is saying that its their conflict. I have no responsibility in it. It never was my burden to resolve it. Other layer of interpretation: I never totally overcame their divorce. I feel it was an abandonment. They might as well have left me behind. I was left behind emotionally. I feel I have some level of responsibility, since I believe I can repair their relationship. I'm beginning to understand it's not my job. It reminds me: I was fascinated by war during most of my childhood. Tanks, machine guns, uniforms, arsenals of destruction. I think it was because I was born during a time of war. There was a dictatorship in their country, Chile. There was war between them. My grandfather, in my mother's side, crafted thousands of small military figurines, from all kinds of eras, countries etc. I feel like the war exploded in me. Like a leftover landmine.
  7. 1 point
    rizzan

    Urges For Violent Outbursts?

    If your urges have reached the point where you're actually acting on them and, as you say, looking for trouble, you need to get help as soon as possible. It will only get worse without treatment. A regular doctor probably can't treat you, but they can help you find low or no cost treatment for people who can't afford psychiatric care. If you are able to find a way, I would advise you to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Both. In the event only one is possible, my opinion would be that the psychiatrist takes priority
  8. 1 point
    Desperation has brought me to this place indeed. That and knowing ahead of time how stressed I will be with the new job. I know I must start talking to her more. I am so near a breaking point. I just cant let that happen. Thank you Fizzle!
  9. 1 point
    Having health issues is hard enough....but then having unresolved health issues is even harder! I am so sorry and I hope they can find some answers very soon for you. Its so hard to see beyond the moment when we are struggling. Take life moment by moment till things get better! They will! So sorry you are struggling. Yeah, I just don't know what the exact problem is anymore. I'm at a loss, but I know I can't live like this the rest of my life. I'm hoping when I go for MRI tests that something actually shows up so I can get it fixed. I sure hope you find some answers too. I really do know how hard that is. I have BTDT.....I wound up having to have surgery...then after the surgery they doctors were shocked at what all they found. A couple of doctors had made me feel like I was crazy before that. Here's hoping for answers! That will be a great start! Well, I hope so since being like this isn't an option for me the rest of my life. Staying the way I am now basically means having no life. All these problems are holding me back bad. I always think who knows where I'd be right now if it wasn't for all of this. But maybe everything happens for a reason I suppose.
  10. 1 point
    Audrey822

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Welcome to DF, decado! Wow, that sounds exactly like me. Except for the fact that I've been crushing on my guy for a little more than twice that long, I have probably written those exact words on here. All of it. Thank you for sharing your story....you'll get a lot of support here.
  11. 1 point
    Yes you can have stress and still feel numb and not really realise it. I feel numb too and have trouble feeling my stress but i know its right there under the numbness. Now the chicken and egg question, does stress cause anhedonia or anhedonia cause stress??
  12. 1 point
    JasmineF123

    Help...i Might Have A Problem..?

    Is purging disorder a form of addiction? Will power alone is not working well. I think I need help. Thank you so much in advance for your responses, it is rare for me to reach out like this.
  13. 1 point
    while the prolactin is suboptimal, i wouldnt be too concerned... mine once was three times the upper limit and no prolactinoma was found... what have you been taking? SJW is known to raise prolactin, as all SSRI are. about cortisol, i dont know, might be something. Vitamin D ok, stay out in the sun more or take it, its ok up to 8000 uE. btw ill follow your progress on fluoxetine with interest, general failure yesterday ive tried kratom for the first time and while its extremely early to even hypothize any therapeutic utility, its been interesting.
  14. 1 point
    Dark_nights

    Not Sure What's The Point...

    Before I say anything else, I just want to join in lp44 and say that you are not stupid. I used to think (and many days I still do think) that there is no point in trying, that everything is just so pointless. But eventually I came to realize that you can give your own life and existence whatever meaning you want it to have. I realize that it seems to be impossible when you are in the middle of it all, when you are overwhelmed by loneliness and feelings of hopelessness. But I promise you that you can find something to give you meaning. It does not have to be anything big or life changing. It does not even have to be what other might consider important. What matters is what is important to you, and give you meaning. I sincerely hope you can find some inspiration from this forum, and maybe even help you feel a little less lonely.
  15. 1 point
    lp44

    Not Sure What's The Point...

    First I would gently say to you that you have to find a way to move away from the self loathing that seems to holds you back. I don't know what really led to your depression...ok lets say that it might be your fault to some degree(highly doubt it is as much as you think)....that is an event in history now. YOU decide your future. Im sure all the factors involved seem like "Mount Everest" right now (for lack of a better way to put it) Take baby steps within each day. Do one positive thing...take one positive step. Write it down so you can look at it. One thing my therapist has done a lot of is writing things down on a notecard. Perhaps something like "I feel worthless because__________" The back of the card might say... "I have value and worth beyond measure because________" IDK....that not even one of them but something along those lines. She asks me to read them periodically. I know she is trying to clearly get me to see some things, change those deep feelings to truth, and retrain my brain all at the same time. Truth is you are not stupid. Truth is you have great value to the world just because you are you! Truth is you CAN change where you are. Don't look at the big picture. The big picture is overwhelming. Take small baby steps.....again write things down. I don't know why that helps, but it seems to. Just my thoughts....... hugs to you.....
  16. 1 point
    I truly hope you get some therapy and professional support as dealing with these things alone is not something anyone should have to do. I suggest you see someone who is either specialises in trauma and PTSD or someone who specialises in s*xual abuse as they will understand the issues related to this stuff. A lot of times these things can be a form of re enacting so the mind can try to make sense of things. Confusion about sexual identity is very normal in the circumstances and often times feelings can be about being triggered or confused rather than genuinely being related to preference. You need a knowledgeable therapist to help you figure out what it is and isnt.
  17. 1 point
    JD4010

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    Reasonably good. I'm trying something called "rational recovery" to end my drinking. I'm on day 6 of sobriety right now. Tomorrow will mark an entire week!
  18. 1 point
    busymoo

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Hi Decado, welcome to the forum! You haven't rambled on at all! Write as much as you want and need, it helps to put things into writing so much, so don't feel you're rambling. From your message it sounds like you've got pretty good control over your CO, in that it doesn't appear he intrudes badly into your real life. If this is the case I see no problem at all with having a CO. It's a great escape and comforter to have. I've described it as a coping mechanism before and that's definitely what it is for me. I thinks it's when it's gets intrusive that it's a problem. This is what I struggle with. My CO causes too much pain right now but even then I still don't/can't stop! I see you're in the UK too!
  19. 1 point
    hystericalanduseless

    Random Thoughts

    crash landed on the earth... the local population seems... indifferent, hostile
  20. 1 point
    decado

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Hi everyone, I found this forum a few days ago and I wanted to say Thank you for the support you have given me through your posts. I thought I was the only one dealing with a celebrity obsession, it's so good not to feel alone. I have had an obsession with a guitarist for almost 20 years now since I was 12 years old. There has been a couple of others in his dormant phase but I always come back to him. I feel incredibly guilty about it as I'm married with two children! They don't suffer because of it and they are aware of my love of this guy, They just think I'm being silly. But they don't know the love I feel towards this guy! I also feel guilty because I think the guy himself would be mortified that someone like me could be this crazy about him. Thankfully he doesn't know and hopefully never will do, as although I follow him on twitter and Facebook, apart from liking two photos I've never messaged him at all. Part of me wants to get over this and the other part doesn't cos I use it as an escape from everyday life, or when I've been through rough times, it will seem so stupid to say but he is almost like my comforter! I have his photos on my phone, ipad and a really old scrapbook i made of him years ago! I love to look at him because of he is just so beautiful to me. I Think the reason I love him so is because he can't hurt me, if that makes sense and also I haven't got any real friends, due to being a military family and moving about, also that I always seems to attract the type that take what the need from me I.e free babysitting, then I never hear from them till the next time they need me. Anyway thank you again so I ramble on.
  21. 1 point
    kate33624

    Obsessive Thoughts.

    Happens to me every night when I try to sleep. I obsess over everything that has to do with bills/work/money. I wish I could make it stop!
  22. 1 point
    TFO

    Quietness And Emptiness

    Hi everybody. I suffered depression a short while ago and there was a lot of self pity, isolation and paranoia involved. During the depression I felt very empty and emotionless like many people do. I feel like I have recovered from the depression, the empty feeling is still there, but the thing that bothers me the most is how quiet I have become. Before the depression I was always quiet, but it seems even worse now. I just cannot think of anything to say to anybody and frankly I am sick of trying. I am often absent minded at the dinner table and won't try to join in with conversation. I've started more and more to sit by myself because I don't want to be constantly judging myself as to why the hell I can't talk. Also, now is the time that I'd like to get into a relationship, but being quiet like this makes me feel like I'm boring and not going to be good enough for somebody else and puts me off the idea of getting into a relationship, I really hate myself for it. Does anybody have any insight they could share? Thanks guys, peace and love.
  23. 1 point
    TFO

    Quietness And Emptiness

    Thank you for the advice everybody, good to know that I am not alone. Perhaps we need to just accept that it's who we are. lp44, that sound proof room sounds like a very good idea :) Peace and love.
  24. 1 point
    Valgomoms

    Obsessive Thoughts.

    I am also struggling like you. My depression is under control but my anxiety seems to get worse. Here's what I do when i get in the obsessive thoughts moods: I wrote down all my tools in a small book that is with me at all time. Because when my thoughts take control, i seem to forget what to do! 1. Write down my worries, they have to get out! 2. Acknowledging how i feel (shortness of breath, thoughts, ...) without trying to change it. Just saying: ah! I have a hard time breathing, i'm thinking a lot, i'm nervous, my chest is tight,...that's okay! And usually it helps a lot. 3. Reminding myself that i have NO control on the future, so what's the point of worrying? 4. Taking a piece of paper and drawing something putting my concentration into it. It surprising how it works! 5. Saying the serenity prayer (if you believe in it) 6. The ULTIMATE tips: grab my shoes and go running! 7. EFT with brad yates on youtube for anxiety or the other one with fear. It is very soothing! Their is a lot of tips on internet, but you'll find what works for you!
  25. 1 point
    shyboots

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    That's awful, so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself at this difficult time. I'm alright, bit bored.
  26. 1 point
    Quarkygurl

    Obsessive Thoughts.

    I am going to try both of those (thought stopping and visualizations). I need to work on the obsessive thoughts cause I am driving my boyfriend nuts.
  27. 1 point
    Phantastic Mirage

    Random Update!!

    So, my birthday is tomorrow and my plan to indulge in donuts all week has fallen short due to choosing more healthy options. I do not feel bad about this at all lol. Although since tomorrow is my birthday, I will be having donuts and coffee for breakfast and then going to Outback Steakhouse for dinner (I SHOULD have time for gym training between work and dinner lmao. Let's hope.)
  28. 1 point
    Dear Katie, Welcome, and I am glad that you came here. It sounds like you have had a really rough ride, and are making a really big effort to turn your life around. I a, sorry that you are having some difficulties with your parents, but please realise hat some of that may be themdealingwith their own issues, it may also be the natural tension that arises between a teen and their parents. As long as you feel that you have done he right thing, you need to be pleased with your own efforts. Your dad may have over reacted,but don't let that bring you down. Each time you do the right thing, you will feel better about yourself. I am a parent of a 19 yr old daughter with depression,and I know that sometimes my own concerns come across as anger or disappointment. You are definitely a worthwhile person, but it may take some time for your parents to believe that you have changed. I am not saying this is right,but it may be a contributing factor I their responses. You need to find some support group - glad that you found us, but perhaps their might be some support group for young people in your arena. If you can't fond that, perhaps you might need to journal, exercise, paint, read, write poetry, play an instrument...whatever can give you peace of mind when you are stressed. Perhaps you could talk to a counsellor, if you parents would consent to this. If not your parents, do you have an aunt , uncle or close friend that y could talk to? Do not let these setbacks derail you from he path you have chosen for yourself. You sound like an articulate, intelligent young woman, who may have made mistakes inthe past, but that doesn't need to define you in the future,as you have decided. Pease keep us posted on how you are going. Hopefully some ores may also have advice for you Thoughts, hugs and best wishes Stressedmum xx
  29. 1 point
    flasquish

    What Are You Eating?

    Hopefully with some real maple syrup up there in Canada?
  30. 1 point
    TeddydaBear62

    Am I Just Oversensitive?

    Your not going to like what I'm going to say. Your mother is an "enabler". She is allowing this behavior to continue for one or two reasons. Either she doesn't consider it serious enough, or she's afraid of your brother. Either way...--your suffering mental abuse. As a youngster.......I wouldn't want to pursue this......but as an older, wiser adult, I would. You need to approach a good councilor in school. I believe they will listen to you and intervene.
  31. 1 point
    flasquish

    What Are You Eating?

    Frosted Mini Wheats
  32. 1 point
    mhaus

    I Can't Talk To My Parents

    I'm working on it.
  33. 1 point
    JarrodM

    Favorite Line From Your Current Music?

    I stand alone and I I fight alone and I Stay clean by feeling cheap And baby, there ain't enough room in this world For perfections like you And monsters like me A time of darkness You will look absurd and you will feel it hurt And you will go looking to blame somebody You see I used to think that I'd get over everything But everything just got Over me The Fine Art of Falling Apart-Matthew Good
  34. 1 point
    my wife and kids know directly because they live or have lived with me and seem my struggles. my siblings and others know indirectly because news travels throughout the family. as I have said before, I don advertise my illness but I don't deny or hide it either; why should I? I didn't ask for this and I am ill, just any other illness. I know many don't see this as an illness but as a weakness of the mind or character, so be it. I'm the one that has to live with this along with my immediate family but its my illness not theirs. and yes I have lots of support and understanding from my wife and kids; of course I fear that I have passed it on to some of my kids but at the very least I can help them deal with it in many ways, from support to advise to encouragement.
  35. 1 point
    brenn19832

    What Are You Proud Of Today?

    I had a day without negative self talk.
  36. 1 point
    I know this is oversimplifying things and you wouldn't want to be going through what you have been going through but sometimes being pushed past our limits by multiple awful things can have a plus side. It can make us look at how things are more honestly and build a better way of being after. It can be an opportunity for using our strengths wisely and learning new positive ways of being in the world. I too am super determined. I have been described by family members as frighteningly determined, That has many advantages and I am grateful for this quality even though I have used it unhealthily in various ways as well as positively. I guess thats what it is all about. Using our strengths positively to get to true deep recovery and finding replacements for the vulnerable areas that jeapordise our happiness. I love what your t wrote and I don't believe a therapist says these things lightly. It isnt the relationship of a family member but it can involve a genuine concern and interest in you as a human being and a client. I am sure even for you you have felt honored to have the trust of a student who has confided in you and allowed you be a part of their journey in life. I think in some respects the therapy relationship is potentially as close to a parental relationship that we can find outside the real thing. What stands out very starkly in what you said here is a lot of evaluating and measuring yourself in terms of success or failure. You are looking at t that way as a result of old habits and I wonder if that plays a part in you not considering looking at another t. You can't suck or fail at therapy. Therapy isnt a race or project that you get a mark for at the end - or worse get punished for if you "fail". Therapy is about meeting you wherever you are emotionally at that point in time. Good therapy is turning up and doing what you are able to. And preferably spending some time thinking about what you are doing. Again as one person who has no difficulty with therapy to another ;-) Ha! I say that to you even though I find it hard to accept how hard it is for me to do. I've read there are just two things to try to do to make sure one is doing therapy properly. One is to make sure to finish therapy properly rather than just disappearing and the other is to talk through any issues one has with the t. It might be worthwhile considering what your criteria is to be a success at therapy! What would t not working look like and how would you know that it happened? Maybe you could even engage that determination to consider looking at another t! ;-) Just thought I would tell you that I decided to keep the appointment I had on the books this week. With my new job starting soon I know I need to be in a better place than I am right now. The session went "ok"....but what I still cant believe I did after I got home is probably even bigger. I basically emailed a "list" of sorts of things that I thought probably hindered my progress greatly. Some were just "maybe the rest of what I had already danced around or mentioned" in T....a couple were totally new things. I just know "this little house of cards that is me" is about to totally derail if I don't start talking to her more. Therapists aren't mind readers for crying out loud. Her response was...or part of it was: "Excellent! Thank you for sharing all of that. I so value and appreciate you." Although that sounds like a "pre-recorded therapist answer" ...Ill take it considering what I had to share. I go in next week again. Courage 1 Paralyzing emotions 0 (of course that is only true of this moment in time...tomorrow might be different....I HATE that particular characteristic of depression) What's that phrase ?? "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change." I can't take the pain of staying the same anymore.....
  37. 1 point
    leagoss

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Hi mp3. Yes ive been dissapointed by a model i love. I wrote her several mails in facebook and got only one response which was short and polite. She didnt replayed to my other mails anymore. Im still her biggest fan i think. Theres another fan of her, but she never ignored her like she ignored me. This other fan got more mails from her and been even added to her accounts. I never was added to her accounts. It hurt me for a while, but now its been 3 years ago and i stopped caring what was . But her ignorance hurt me.
  38. 1 point
    snark42

    What Are Flashbacks Like?

    So is reliving kind of like a spectrum? With one end being full flashbacks (like the kind you hear about war veterans experiencing where they feel and think they are back in combat) and the other end being an emotional flashbacks? Based on your information, I would say no, I am not having full flashbacks. But I definitely seem to be reliving, to some extent, a lot of things that have happened throughout my life.
  39. 1 point
  40. 1 point
    Coma White-Marilyn Manson
  41. 1 point
    rhyl

    Working Full Time With Did

    Hi Shmooey, I'm so sorry you're having issues with your alters at work. I can so relate. I was diagnosed in 1998 and have always worked full-time (except for the brief medical leaves for depression and surgeries). Right now it's not too much of a problem. Although I have a couple of insiders that come out at work occasionally, they are adults and they actually do a better job there than I do. At my last job, though, two of my youngest would get triggered all the time when I was talking to certain sales reps on the phone, and come out and talk to them. :-( In my case, I was usually co-conscious, and I had developed a pretty good friendship with both of the reps, so I could fudge my way around the weirdness. But one of them I finally had to tell about our DID because things just got too hard. I remember how hard it used to be and how tiring. Just keeping everything together for the 8 hours while I was at work, or trying to stay alert and making sure that I didn't slip up. I found that, since we are now mostly co-conscious, it's much easier and everyone is much more cooperative. Not very much popping out at unexpected times (well, except in therapy and at night when they want on the computer), and a lot more asking first before they do stuff. Have you worked on co-consciousness and cooperating with one another? Do you have good internal communication?
  42. 1 point
    Lady Mozzer

    What Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Used To Be A Sweet Boy~Morrissey
  43. 1 point
    Pinga

    Help...i Might Have A Problem..?

    Yes, an eating disorder can be like an addiction for a lot of people. Unfortunately willpower alone does not treat the underlying cause. Welcome to DF and it's okay for you to reach out and ask for support.
  44. 1 point
    Anxiety still triggers me to eat a lot at work one time, but thankfully I don't have too many issues with that anymore since I've been on meds. I would also eat out of boredom too, but I made a habit of just drinking more water....keep a cup near me or something. Chewing gum helps a little too
  45. 1 point
    Falling_Fuschia

    Starting To Recover

    Since I have been seeing my therapist we have came to know each other as appointments have continued. I finally opened up to her about everything that had been going through, in honesty. Today, I have been excising in breaking the routine cycle of my ocd. I have slowly reduced relying on over the counter sleep aids, stopping myself when I repetitively say sorry, burning lavender for sleep and replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. It can be hard when the the force/kick back from my ocd strikes when trying to ignore the certain things, but reminding myself that the obsessive targeting of negative thoughts is part of the ocd, I found this has greatly helped me. I have decided to stray from using antidepressants and focus on healing, covering this as best as I can, naturally. I had a hard past using antidepressants as a child, so the fear I have with medications is too strong to endure using trials. I have been taking Ashwagandha and Inositol, so far I haven't been taking the Inositol so much the Ashwagandha on a daily basis and I have noticed a difference in my mood improvement/anxiety since. I am keeping a promise to take things one day at a time and I am finally getting to know myself as a person.
×
×
  • Create New...