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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/04/2014 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    I slept well and had good dreams. My sister cooked me dinner. I had money to pay all my bills early.
  2. 3 points
    Hello all...I have not been around at all and it really bothers me as coming here is part of my healing. A lot has happened since my med change..It has been now six weeks and my depression is completely gone and anxiety is non existent..I used to wake up and dread getting out of bed and now I can't wait to start my day. I stopped taking lorazapam completely for anxiety and now all I take is the Focalin 15mg twice a day and what that drug for me I cant begin to describe. My focus is laser sharp and my ability to learn new things is incredible .. My daughter has been dealing with similar issues so I have been spending a lot of time in Boston to try to help her.. I hope everyone here who is suffering like I did for 2 years just keep searching and learning and I do believe you will find the right med and the right therapist. I love my therapist and look forward to each meeting as she has zeroed in on my adult ADD and left untreated what it was doing to me...If you are spiritual ask who or whatever you believe for help and if you don't believe just keep searching but do not ever quit..\ I will be on more and just wanted to say hi to flasquish.craigB,shayne95,hereforwhat,inbetween,and writer...And everyone else here :-)
  3. 3 points
    mud I know sounds strange but I was playing in the mud this morning and it felt great
  4. 3 points

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    I slept reasonably well after staying up pretty late last night. So I think I'm doing ok so far today.
  5. 3 points
    Rented a van, drove the highway back & forth to mom's, loaded the van up with everything that I had planned out taking out of there plus a bunch more stuff, dropped a desk off for someone that had done an advert through Freecycle, got the van unloaded & back early. It took about 8 hours. Since then I have moved a few things around, started another tray of seeds, talked to ex-hubby for over an hour, did my banking on line, figured out my pay and read on line
  6. 3 points
    I'm thankful that I got to hold my baby cousin today. She'll be two months old tomorrow. She laid her head on my chest and promptly fell asleep. This is only the second time she's seen me and she obviously felt so comfortable with me that she fell asleep while I was holding her. She was holding my hair and drooling on my chest the entire time. It was pretty cute.
  7. 3 points
    I got everything done that I wanted to do today and didn't have a panic attack
  8. 3 points

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    *chants to self* one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time!
  9. 3 points
    This is a big one, but I'm very thankful that I have been named the official president of the Buddhist club I started going to over the past 8 or 9 months. Joining in the first place was a huge leap for me, but they have been the kindest people I've ever known and now they put me in charge. It's helping me feel more important and cared about So much has changed in the last year of my life. I'm thankful for all of it. Things can change for the better so quickly without us even expecting it.
  10. 2 points
    Mr Shadow

    Striving For Success

    Today, I’ll mark as the day, “the change” happened. Well, hopefully. No more excuses. No more second guessing. Just go ahead and do it. Too long I was hiding behind my own shadows, too long I was worshiping the dream, when instead, I should have let the dream, to motivate me, to move on. I will not stop, I will not hide anymore. When I’ll feel weak, I’ll look at this post, and draw the energy from within. It’s time to write the story, this time – with real actors, taking up the stand. ​No more negative thoughts, no more procrastination, I must take the stand, here and now, I can not let the world to consume me and spit it out like a piece of garbage, no more anger over trivial things, no more compromises. I have the dream... I am obligated to let it live. I can not let it die off. I must move on, just keep going, don't stop, don't look back. This is not who I am, I was not born to live in the stagnated state, I was not born to drown in the self pity. I was born and I was given a gift of creation. I must use that gift, I must let it drive me forward. ​Whether I will fail or will I succeed in changing my life - only the time will tell, but today, is the day I feel committed to take the stand. Whatever will be the case, I promise, that I will get back to you all with results, eventually, maybe this will be as another thing, helping me to go froward. Just another drop in the ocean...
  11. 2 points
    1. Cooked a meal 2. Sorted out hair appointment 3. Let someone else help with housework
  12. 2 points
    I went to church and helped my daughter cook a meal for her Spanish class.
  13. 2 points
    Bebe I understand completely about the weight. I'm fat too and I hate it. I just wish I could have been born with a sexy figure. After my miscarriage in October, I vowed I would get into better shape. I started working out every day. Watched what I ate and then joined a gym. I saw a lot of results. Then I landed a busy job. I lost weight from that too. Now I am working two jobs. I never go to the gym. I am so tired. I eat out a lot because I am always at work. My weight has been sort of stable but I go up a few pounds, down a few pounds. What really bugs me is that stupid "spare tire" I have. If I could just get rid of that, I would sort of "like" my body a little more. But I always feel so ugly especially compared to others. I see girls who may be bigger than me and I still think they are way more gorgeous. Sometimes I am embarrassed to look at Sonny because I feel like a fat, ugly cow.! There are barely any days that I feel beautiful. I have seen the results of my working out though. I have dropped three pants sizes and one shirt size since October. I probably would have gone down more in shirts but I have big boobs which really really sucks. I wishe we could work out together. One thing that has really helped me is Wii Zumba and Zumba and U Jam at the gym. Hugs you are beautiful.
  14. 2 points
    so far today I have: worked on refinishing my kitchen table did the dishes spent an hour just taking before shots of my "gardens" shovelled more dirt made a point of stopping to actually eat a "real" lunch
  15. 2 points
    I just got back from hammering out a hard and fast 10 mile (16 km) run in cool and rainy conditions which are great for pushing it. I feel very good after my run and I am happy with my progress with my running since my wife died. Three more weeks until Ottawa Race Weekend and the half marathon. I ran the Vancouver Sun Run 10 K last Sunday in my late wife's honour and as a tribute to her as she was a runner for 34 years. My upcoming half marathon will be my 38th and I feel very strong leading up to it. My accomplishment lies in the fact I am in better running shape than I was two or three years ago! I am happy with that.
  16. 2 points

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    I feel great this morning as I am now over my jet lag and am well rested. I feel emotionally stable and am calm with no anxiety or any signs or indications of depression. My medication Celexa (20 mg/day) is doing it's job fully. My 9 days in Vancouver were very healing. I have made considerable progress since my wife's death 14.5 months ago. I know I will have setbacks but I can deal with them. Wishing everyone a kind and gentle day!
  17. 2 points
    My spiritual beliefs, about hell specifically, were all that kept me from suicide during my early twenties. I actually had several half-hearted attempts during those years. I love my Higher Power with all my heart mind and soul, and during my early twenties, I was convinced beyond a doubt that suicide would separate me eternally from Him. The last decade I have changed those spiritual views, and no longer see things the way I did back then. This change in belief actually marks a step in healing of sorts for me. I believe my Higher Power allowed me to believe the way I did in my twenties, because it was literally all that kept me alive. Our spiritual beliefs can certainly be powerful factors in our battle against depression, in either healthy or unhealthy ways.
  18. 2 points
    Whatever it takes for you not to SI, keep doing it. I am a very spiritual person, not religious, and I do know the pain we endure here on earth is not forever. When we go to the spirit realm, we wll share our experiences with our loved ones that have already passed. If your desire to SI gets too strong, please go to your doctor. The scars will be permanent and could make you more emotionally sad.
  19. 2 points

    Want To Introduce Me

    Hey everyone - I just want to stop by and introduce myself. I am brand new to this forum... I am a 25 years old RN. Unfortunately throughout my whole life I have struggled with mental illness. At a young age I was diagnosed with depression, conquered it, then in my teen years I started having panic attacks. fortunately I was able to overcome those two obstacles but recently my depression has kicked back in. It's hard to speak with my friends because they really don't feel what I am going through. Finding the motivation to be proactive in finding happiness is difficult. In no way am I suicidal. I do see light at the end of the tunnel. I do have goals in my life. But I honestly just want to wake up and smile again. I want to be happy with myself again! my tunnel out lately is drinking... which scares me. I don't want to end up controlling my emotions with alcohol. I want to conquer this before it conquers me again! i joined this site to support others as well as find support for me through our difficult times. Look forward getting to know everyone!
  20. 2 points
    Went shopping this morning. That's about all I accomplished . Going out just totally drains me!
  21. 2 points

    Want To Introduce Me

    hi there! i am new here as well well i guess everyone here knows what are you feelings are. i have the same problem, im 26 and i have panic attacks and kind of depression. i really hope you will get over it as soon as possible, its a terrible way of living :\ take care! yours- John
  22. 2 points
    @sunmicroman I'm sure u are frustrated by that!!! There is a book that really makes sense to me, about neuroplasticity, it's called You are not your brain by Jeffrey Schwartz. It's the same principles as in his other book, Brain Lock. Basically how we think about things becomes easier and easier the more we think that way, because we are exercising that neural pathway in our brains every time. For people with depression like us, it becomes very difficult to start thinking positively or to feel hopeful because we have been bulking up the neural pathway of negative thinking , so our brain is like, hell no we don't want to think nicely, I've got this superhighway of negative thinking ready to go, I'll just send thoughts down there instead! Part of what he talked about is labelling our negative thoughts as False brain messages. They don't really represent what we truly want to think and feel. I find that when I begin viewing this type of thinking as such, and separating it from thoughts that are really mine, it becomes a little easier to try and not give in. Don't forget, u may have depression, but u are not depression!!!
  23. 2 points

    One Good Thing

    I almost opened up about my depression to a friend today i ended up chickening out but its as close as ive ever got to talking to anyone about it. Besides that I SURVIVED every tomorrow is a small victory and for now thats good enough
  24. 2 points

    One Good Thing

    A thunderstorm. I love thunderstorms.
  25. 2 points
    I'm thankful that my son hit a home run at his baseball game today. Made this momma proud :)
  26. 2 points
    Went to my son's baseball game. Mowed half the lawn (it started raining so I couldn't finish). Cooked dinner and cleaned up the kitchen.
  27. 2 points
    Scared depressed girl

    Finally Out

    So after being in a physciatric unit for two weeks, i'm finally out, was soo hard in there at the beginning, but i got through it, the nurses doctors phscyiatrists really did help me, i know its going too take time too get better, but i'm at the start off the process, i didn't want too admit i wasn't well and i needed help, but in the end for my own mental health i had too, and i'm glad i did! I hope now i can finally start the process off recovery!
  28. 2 points
    I "fake it till I make it" all the time. But I don't really view it as faking it as much as forcing myself to ignore the stupid depression that is telling me I want t o cancel plans, not exercise, eat junk food, hide under my covers and thinkbad thoughts.....and just get up and out and do something positive and constructive towards what I really want out of the day and life in general. I don't always win.....but I keep trying. Whenever I succeed in telling those depressive thoughts and feelings to take a hike, I always feel better, and have a good day, vs when I give in, and isolate myself, don't get exercise and eat crap food and think about all the bad things and times I have been thru or done, I feel awful.
  29. 2 points
    My little buddy, Nevaeh, my mum's foster daughter who's 4 years old, saw me watching one of Sonny's music videos a few months ago. I said this is Sonny, I thought that would be easier for her to remember instead of his real name. And she has a really good memory so the next day she saw a picture of him and she says " Sonny!" And she had this smile on her face. So every day we look at Sonny's pictures an we listen to his song. If my iPod is on shuffle and his song comes up, she knows who it is. It is so cute how she says Sonny. The little bit sad thing is that she thinks I actually know Sonny. Last week she asked if Sonny was coming to her birthday party. Awwww. How do you reply to that??? Anyway it is nice to have someone, even if it is a little girl, to share looking at and listening to him. And the great thing is she doesn't judge me. Well not yet anyway. :) Just wanted to share that.
  30. 2 points
    This is exactly how I am able to work, I take my meds, drive to work, go into the office and the normal James has arrived. I'm able to complete my tasks effeciently and on the outside, I look like a normal person. But this is very draining and by the time I get home, all of my energy has been sapped. I watch some tv and lay in bed. Then the next day starts with the exact routine. I am a functional depressed person, hopefully the longer I'm on my medications, I won't have to fake it any more and just feel normal and get through my day without wearing a mask.
  31. 2 points
    Happy to have found this depression forum. It's so good to know that we are not alone and be able to talk about our feelings and emotions without fear of being judge. Really happy that I found you folks. :)
  32. 2 points
    Im thankful for my parents for everything, a small number of friends/mates that i trust and understand me in a number of ways and especially my dad for everything that he has taught/passed onto me over the years. Sometimes you have to thank yourself in certain ways, like i taught myself how to weld, use of lathes and milling machines, engine building etc.
  33. 2 points
    I'm thankful (always) for a friendly smile, small acts of kindness, dogs, parks and walking weather. Today I was thankful for group therapy and a cup of coffee afterwards with a friend I've made there.
  34. 2 points
    I'm thankful that I am alive!
  35. 1 point
    Has this kept anyone else from self harming? I mean I fear Hell that's why I don't??
  36. 1 point

    Weak And Shaky

    20Years ..., Music is indeed a great thing for soothing the nerves. As you rightly said, music is for a lot of people, one means of defining themselves, so it does help to remind us of who we are. And thanks 20Years ..., I knew I wasn't the only metal-head here . Totally under-rated as a genre. Neurosis and Isis are capable of making music that really capture the volatility of the mind. Deffo sun... , music is another means of relieving anxiety.
  37. 1 point

    Just Started Cymbalta 30Mg

    thank you flasquish. i hope so too. the cymbalta makes me alot more happier than i was. and when i read all stories of decreased sex drive and when mine increased alot figured i would ask. not that its a bad thing because i love sex lol. thanks again for responding flasquish
  38. 1 point
    have you ever thought about accepting your depression? or, accepting where it directs you. you see, the part of the mind where you make decisions, the conscious, is only an extension of the unconscious. thus, you can find purpose behind your emotions and instincts that is contrary to what "you" want. maybe your unconscious is telling you not to go out, or make dinner, or whatever. maybe it's telling you that you need to sit down, and come to understand where your sorrows are truly coming from. i assure you, there is no difference in what causes all the suffering of men and women on this planet.
  39. 1 point

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    You're going to need professional help for this, Lady Kay. Please call a suicide hotline and talk to them....tell them what you're feeling and that you're afraid for yourself. They will help you. There 's always a number scrolling at the top of this website. CALL THEM. 1-800-273-8255 (((((((hugs))))))))
  40. 1 point
    I did 60 squats today and am currently feeling it as my knees are screaming in pain. I had a bad ice-skating accident about 8 years ago and have had problems with my knees ever since. But, as part of my BDD and ED issues, I continuously push myself past my limits and end up paying for it later on (muscle tears, pulled muscles, muscle strains, etc). But, at least for the time being, I feel pretty good about myself. I've been known to run on a treadmill for almost two hours just to feel good about my body and weight. Other than that, I cooked dinner (albeit, not until almost 10:00 pm) and went to the bank and gas station earlier on my way home. My accomplished day yesterday lasted only until my boyfriend came home grumpy from work and started yelling at me about how much money I have in my bank account and how I better find another job or he's going to kick me out of the house.
  41. 1 point

    How Bad Is Your Depression?

    My anxiety lessens in the late afternoon or early evening. The depression is somewhat better in the evening, but I think it's because I am almost through the day and I know I can escape my head and go to bed soon :) I also feel better on the weekends when I'm constantly busy doing things with my husband and kids. My kids are teens and are very involved in sports and stuff, so it's a whirlwind of activity, and a nice distraction. And I have no choice but to participate, so I do, and it does me good. Weekdays are horrible because I'm lonely and have nothing but time to brood. I do work part-time, but I hate my job, so I'm depressed when I'm there, too. I started taking Lexapro 4 weeks ago. I've been experiencing a lot of start-up side effects, like increased anxiety and depression for one, so I'm just chugging along waiting for the med to kick in. I've only been at a therapeutic dose for about 2 weeks, and I know it can take a while to work. So I'm hoping and praying that there will be an end to this misery in sight.
  42. 1 point

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    I am a little tired and jet lagged from my flight back to Ottawa from Vancouver yesterday but I am doing very well and feel good emotionally. It was very much a healing trip for me so I am very happy about that. Spring was lovely in Vancouver and I met some nice people as well. I wish everyone a kind and pleasant day.
  43. 1 point
    Thanks, everyone...she's doing a little better this morning. Still a little woozy, but awake.
  44. 1 point
    Today I am thankful for my cat. He heard me crying and came over to sit with me on the couch. He does this all the time, he is a very empathetic little guy. It makes it easier to forgive him for scratching up my furniture ;)
  45. 1 point
    It sounds like your crush's wife is just trying to sound smart by being a sheep, doing something just because everyone else is but thinks she's the one who said something first. Ugh. I wish dudes would fall head over heels for me. I do have big boobs, but I'm not blonde or skinny. But I'm intelligent and smart but no one wants to give me a chance so that's why I stick with Sonny. You still must feel something for your crush if the wife bothers you. But hey anyone that silly would bother me too. Don't feel pressured to go out with Mr. Muscles. Do what makes you happy. I wish you well hun. Thanks for sharing about your QB crush. :)
  46. 1 point
    that work went pretty good today. no huge stresses and I heard a few thank-yous and some compliments. and right now a little silver flask to numb the pain
  47. 1 point
    -Today was a warm, sunny day. -my dog -yoga
  48. 1 point

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    I'm with you on that one! Unless it takes my total undivided attention, then I daydream pretty much all the time to a greater or lesser degree depending on what I'm doing. And even if I do have to concentrate then my DD is still there in the background with me. Or I imagine my CO sat there next to me whilst I'm doing something that takes my attention. But yeh, when doing mundane things, CO or other imaginaries are always there. Shopping, cleaning, doing sudoku, lol, alwasy there! The most embarrassing bit, and I know I'm not alone in doing this but I still find it embarrassing, is talking out loud to them when I'm alone. But I talk to them as if I was my AE, not me. And I laugh and joke like they're really there. It is like having this parallel world running along side the real one constantly. There's also particular triggers which make the DD more active. Music is one for sure, but I think that's pretty common, lol. But also movement....travelling, like in a car. For some reason, the motion makes my DD more alive. I can't explain why. I know people who MD (sorry I know thats not a good term) tend to have particuar movements they do when DDing, and although I'm not as bad as some I have read about, I do find it easier to DD when doing certain actions myself. As i say the car is one. But also moving my feet/toes a certain way, or my legs when I'm sat down. It is kinda odd, lol. Yeh, even when I haven't had a CO (as mine seem to have a life span of maybe 1-3 years so far), I still fantasise away but about varying things, but generally revolve around similar scenarios, just without the CO. But for me, it has got in the way of a real life, because no real life can compare (obviously) to this amazing world I've created and so nothing seems worth the effort. That's the problem I have with it. I'm not going to blame it, because I think it's just a consequence of how I feel about myself and my life, rather than the reason my life is how it is. If that makes sense?
  49. 1 point

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    I'm not sure that CO problems (in particular) run in ones family, but perhaps the mental conditions, which make one prone to CO-ing, or obsessiveness in general, run in ones family. I don't personally think that having a CO is necessarily a mental illness, unless it goes too far. The media is a relatively new phenomena in human history and there has always been such a thing as unrequited love, or love from afar, etc. The celebrity culture is somewhat new because of the media, but I don't think loving someone from afar is new at all. (Think of all the songs and poems from the Middle Ages about "courtly love" and the like.) I think where the whole celebrity thing gets crazy is when people think they already have some *special* connection to someone they never met and expect that person to feel the same - and then get mad or hurt when they don't, etc. Or they imagine their celebrities are *talking* to them (and it's not just pretending). I think that's when it gets crazy, but simply having a CO isn't so crazy, imo. There has always been some form of falling in love from afar and if the media had been around a long time ago, I think we would see more of that sort of thing throughout human history. As for CO-ing running in ones family, I think various mental illnesses can run in the family, so people who have these kinds of problems are more likely to have a CO, but they can also have other types of obsessions. I think the tendency toward obsessiveness in general can run in families.
  50. 1 point
    Well, I've written this reply 7 different ways and deleted them all. I am not wanting to come across as self-rightous or anything. So here it goes: There are two relationships. One of convience, and one where you would self-sacrifice for the other person. You need to ask yourself which one this is.
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