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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/04/2014 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    I'm thankful that I got to hold my baby cousin today. She'll be two months old tomorrow. She laid her head on my chest and promptly fell asleep. This is only the second time she's seen me and she obviously felt so comfortable with me that she fell asleep while I was holding her. She was holding my hair and drooling on my chest the entire time. It was pretty cute.
  2. 2 points
    I just got back from hammering out a hard and fast 10 mile (16 km) run in cool and rainy conditions which are great for pushing it. I feel very good after my run and I am happy with my progress with my running since my wife died. Three more weeks until Ottawa Race Weekend and the half marathon. I ran the Vancouver Sun Run 10 K last Sunday in my late wife's honour and as a tribute to her as she was a runner for 34 years. My upcoming half marathon will be my 38th and I feel very strong leading up to it. My accomplishment lies in the fact I am in better running shape than I was two or three years ago! I am happy with that.
  3. 2 points
    CraigB

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    I feel great this morning as I am now over my jet lag and am well rested. I feel emotionally stable and am calm with no anxiety or any signs or indications of depression. My medication Celexa (20 mg/day) is doing it's job fully. My 9 days in Vancouver were very healing. I have made considerable progress since my wife's death 14.5 months ago. I know I will have setbacks but I can deal with them. Wishing everyone a kind and gentle day!
  4. 2 points
    My spiritual beliefs, about hell specifically, were all that kept me from suicide during my early twenties. I actually had several half-hearted attempts during those years. I love my Higher Power with all my heart mind and soul, and during my early twenties, I was convinced beyond a doubt that suicide would separate me eternally from Him. The last decade I have changed those spiritual views, and no longer see things the way I did back then. This change in belief actually marks a step in healing of sorts for me. I believe my Higher Power allowed me to believe the way I did in my twenties, because it was literally all that kept me alive. Our spiritual beliefs can certainly be powerful factors in our battle against depression, in either healthy or unhealthy ways.
  5. 2 points
    maorda

    Want To Introduce Me

    hi there! i am new here as well well i guess everyone here knows what are you feelings are. i have the same problem, im 26 and i have panic attacks and kind of depression. i really hope you will get over it as soon as possible, its a terrible way of living :\ take care! yours- John
  6. 2 points
    @sunmicroman I'm sure u are frustrated by that!!! There is a book that really makes sense to me, about neuroplasticity, it's called You are not your brain by Jeffrey Schwartz. It's the same principles as in his other book, Brain Lock. Basically how we think about things becomes easier and easier the more we think that way, because we are exercising that neural pathway in our brains every time. For people with depression like us, it becomes very difficult to start thinking positively or to feel hopeful because we have been bulking up the neural pathway of negative thinking , so our brain is like, hell no we don't want to think nicely, I've got this superhighway of negative thinking ready to go, I'll just send thoughts down there instead! Part of what he talked about is labelling our negative thoughts as False brain messages. They don't really represent what we truly want to think and feel. I find that when I begin viewing this type of thinking as such, and separating it from thoughts that are really mine, it becomes a little easier to try and not give in. Don't forget, u may have depression, but u are not depression!!!
  7. 2 points
    TiffanyC

    One Good Thing

    A thunderstorm. I love thunderstorms.
  8. 2 points
    My little buddy, Nevaeh, my mum's foster daughter who's 4 years old, saw me watching one of Sonny's music videos a few months ago. I said this is Sonny, I thought that would be easier for her to remember instead of his real name. And she has a really good memory so the next day she saw a picture of him and she says " Sonny!" And she had this smile on her face. So every day we look at Sonny's pictures an we listen to his song. If my iPod is on shuffle and his song comes up, she knows who it is. It is so cute how she says Sonny. The little bit sad thing is that she thinks I actually know Sonny. Last week she asked if Sonny was coming to her birthday party. Awwww. How do you reply to that??? Anyway it is nice to have someone, even if it is a little girl, to share looking at and listening to him. And the great thing is she doesn't judge me. Well not yet anyway. :) Just wanted to share that.
  9. 2 points
    This is exactly how I am able to work, I take my meds, drive to work, go into the office and the normal James has arrived. I'm able to complete my tasks effeciently and on the outside, I look like a normal person. But this is very draining and by the time I get home, all of my energy has been sapped. I watch some tv and lay in bed. Then the next day starts with the exact routine. I am a functional depressed person, hopefully the longer I'm on my medications, I won't have to fake it any more and just feel normal and get through my day without wearing a mask.
  10. 1 point
    I know there are some folks here that don't want to leave their homes because of various reasons. I, on the other hand, sort of can't leave home. Don't anyone freak out. I'm not being held hostage or anything. I just don't have the means or resources to get out of the house. Most of it is due to not having the cash to go. I'll admit that I haven't always had the nice, easy-going demeanor I have now. Back in the day I was very outspoken. My mouth and language has cost me more than a few jobs and a lot of friendships. I don't want it to seem that I'm bragging. I have been battling the war with depression for at least 20 years. In the past 20 years I have done a lot of self prescribed medications. Drinking alcohol, liquor and smoking a lot of pan. Needless to say, those things didn't workout that well. Especially when the best 1 was illegal. But now that I'm on disability, I am on a upswing with my depression. Life hasn't been too bad since this past December. The only problem I'm having is my being the only 1 home for like 10 to 12 hours a day, awake, without any human communication or contact. That's 1 of the reasons I joined this forum. I read a lot of your posts and feel sympathy. I'll admit I joined for my own selfish reasons just like most of you. I'm starting this new thread as a positive swing in this forum. I'd like for whoever reads this to reply with something positive that personally happened to them today and everyday if they can find the time. I've learned with my depression and anxiety issues that if I try to think positive and find positive things to concentrate on, the bad doesn't seem to be as horrible or deflating. I'd like to say thank you to all of you for allowing me to join this great forum and I pray that all of you find peace.
  11. 1 point
    Teec

    Frustration With People

    I like capitalising titles. Fun. So, I'm having withdrawal symptoms, or the opposite of that rather. I spent the week doing training in a room full of people, I had my course which is a classroom, I had two interviews and I had to go visit my Dad and have dinner with him. I nearly ran away when he went out to buy pesto, just sneaked out and left. I didn't, because I have some control (very little, I admit), but I very much wanted to. The weekend is now here and I have two glorious days with no plans! I feel like I want to just stay at home, in my room, and not see anyone. Is that such a bad thing? I want a break from all the PEOPLE out there. So many of you, just so many. Is it unhealthy, to want this? To give in to it? Am I a bad person, for it? And how, oh how, do you get out of seeing people when you feel frustrated with them? I mean like yesterday, how would I have escaped from my Dad's without sneaking off?
  12. 1 point
    But, unless you have experienced this evil disease, they don't really understand. They always give advise and try to help, but the things they say would work for people who are mildly depressed or just have the "blues". My depression consumes me and all my thoughts most of the time and it comes out whenever I talk to them. My wife is the most understanding and my oldest son. But my 15 year old thinks I need to "just pull up my bootstraps" and get over it. My wife is getting tired and exhausted with it now, though. It's been over three months since my current episode began. Intersting thing is when I went through my last depressive episode 4 years ago, my youngest son was the absolute most supportive and even would cook for me when I could not. He also wrote a note for me telling me he loved me and put it in my wallet and it saved me from having suicidal thoughts one day. Now, he just wants to get away from me and doesn't seem to interested in even being around me. Whever the subject is brought up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I guess I can't blame him, though, but it still really hurts.
  13. 1 point
    monsterchic

    Hello, All

    Hi, guys I was diagnosed a month and a half ago with depression and GAD, but I'm pretty positive I've had it for a few years. I'm here because I'm tired of relying on friends who don't understand for support. You know those "___ Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person" lists? I have gotten every single one of those. A little bit about me--music is my life, and I play trumpet and flute as well as sing. I listen to basically anything, especially a capella, instrumental, and Celtic music. I also love psychology, and have been studying it for years in school. I will graduate high school this month, and after that I plan on pursuing a culinary arts degree (I lied...music AND food are my life :) ). I believe moving out of the house will help with my depression because I can be my own person instead of having to fake every day. monsterchic
  14. 1 point
    in the shadows

    How Is Your Weather Today #15

    its cool out with a light breeze, had a little drizzle
  15. 1 point
    I take my meds, go to intensive outpatient therapy but rather stay curled up all day just reading a book. Going grocery shopping, making dinner is overwhelming and produces anxiety. I don't think I have what it takes to climb out. Tried every med out there, but I know its not about the meds only, I have fears, make excuses and its going to require me to get off this couch. I just don't think I can do it, Just not doing well.
  16. 1 point
    srcampbell, Really sorry that you are going through this. Please make yourself welcome here and be assured that we are here for you - some people would be able to give practical advice but we are all here to listen (perhaps the biggest help we can give). And please do not apologise for the length of the post - you have a lot to get off your mind. Sorry can't give any practical advice, except that keep on talking and never think you are a burden to anyone listening ... today you could be getting help, but in the future you could be helping someone else. There are specific sections in the forum that are accessible, once a certain amount of posts are made. But the main thing is to know you are not alone. Stonium
  17. 1 point
    TiffanyC

    One Good Thing

    I cooked with my 16 year old daughter...she had to make something called Paella for her Spanish class tomorrow...they are having a fiesta for Cinco de Mayo.
  18. 1 point
    Audrey822

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Lady Kay, your story of losing weight is going to be my inspiration. I would LOVE to drop 3 pants sizes. You should be more proud of yourself for that!! There is absolutely nothing stopping me from working out, and I'm going to start (tomorrow, but really, I will!)
  19. 1 point
    Audrey822

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Bebe, it's good to see you posting again! Don't apologize for "blabbering on"....it's good to get all that out, and it's interesting to read that many of us have the same issues. I can relate to so much of what you said there! I also have weight issues (but my AE is perfect) , and I also worried too much what Momma would say if she had known what I was up to....or, at least, what I wanted to be up to. Nothing really "bad"...I just wanted to spread my wings and she wanted to keep them clipped. The difference, I think, is that your Mom may be looking out for your own good and mine...well, not so much. But I'm not going to get into that today. I just allowed my AE to live the life I craved....at least I had that. *sigh* I've been having a few depressed days as well. There was the incident with my puppy a few days ago and I really didn't think she was going to make it for awhile, but she's completely OK now. Then there was the discovery on Friday that a member of my CO's band had passed away and....well, I guess anyone who knows me here can imagine what emotions that triggered. Yesterday, we went to a music festival. Primarily I was going to see this jazz singer I've enjoyed for almost 30 years (not someone I've ever had a crush on, this one was completely about the music). I knew he had health problems a couple of years ago, but I was shocked to see how much that had taken its toll on him. His voice was not the same, he couldn't sing high notes on his signature songs that always brought the house down, and he couldn't make it up the steps to the stage without help. I found it all profoundly sad. I'm glad I saw him though, because I have a feeling it might be the last time I get that opportunity. And if all that's not enough I've been trying to write about the relationship between me and my Mom....just to get my feelings and thoughts down. And that's making me an emotional train wreck. It's like reliving it all again, but this time with the knowledge of what's happening to me (as opposed to being a young kid who thought my Mom was doing what she did in my best interest...or whatever it was I thought). Oh, and I also noticed that the word i.d.i.o.t doesn't pass the word filters here, and I can't figure out why! It's not an offensive word here in the U.S. (unless someone actually directed it to another person, as in "you're an i.d.i.o.t!!") Who knows what that's about? LOL Bebe, I wish you would post more often. I know we all run out of things to say at times (how many different ways can I talk about my CO and say that I'm hopelessly in love with him...so much it hurts?) But honestly, reading the thoughts all of you have brightens my day a little.
  20. 1 point
    blaze420711

    Just Started Cymbalta 30Mg

    thank you flasquish. i hope so too. the cymbalta makes me alot more happier than i was. and when i read all stories of decreased sex drive and when mine increased alot figured i would ask. not that its a bad thing because i love sex lol. thanks again for responding flasquish
  21. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

    Weak And Shaky

    Sun, many times when I feel weak and shaky, it is due to an anxiety attack or panic attack. Do you have problems with anxiety? Anxiety often goes hand in hand with depression. I use music a lot to help my anxiety. I tend to have anxiety attacks in large groups of people, and even online disagreements can cause me to have anxiety attacks depending on my stress level. I find that listening to Metallica or other heavy metal creates a wall of sound that helps me isolate myself mentally from what is causing me anxiety. Of course, your preferred music may be different, and more power to ya for trying to find a solution. Hope this helps.
  22. 1 point
    InfinateandDistant

    A Positive Thread!

    Hey! Just another positive reply. Today I accomplished getting the yard mowed and washed a load of dishes. I was also able to get in the tub. I was the first bath I've had in over a week. But to day has been a great day!
  23. 1 point
    Epictetus

    Depression

    I am sorry, so sorry that you are suffering, Peter. No matter what has happened to you, I do not believe you are worthless! ! ! You have done literally trillions of strong, clever, beautiful and good things in your life. Trillions . . . going all the way back to your earliest childhood. But even if you had not done all these things . . . even if you had literally done nothing . . . I still believe you have infinite value and dignity. I don't believe things acquire value and dignity through performances of any kind. There are flowers no one ever sees, that are still beautiful and good. There are animals that seem to "do nothing" or "accomplish" nothing and yet I feel that their mere existence on the earth is priceless, irrepeatable and irreplaceable. The torture of depression may obscure this from you, but I think you have infinite value even if you "feel" that you do not. And even if the feeling is very vivid. There are many kinds of laws in the universe, like the laws of nature. But I think that you, in your uniqueness and individuality are also something that is meant to be, meant to exist. So I think that you yourself are a law, that it is good and beautiful that you exist. If people around you cannot appreciate you, that is really their blindness. If they think you have to "earn" or "prove" your value, I think that is their error. I have been in dark places where everything was against me and I was living day ti dat on ramin noodles. Nothing can take your value away from you, Peter, because it is intrinsic! I hope things get better for you somehow and someway. I'm sorry I don't have any really helpful advice.
  24. 1 point
    flasquish

    Depression

    Peter, I care about you. You will not be ignored on these boards and even though you're going through very tough times, your future is still ahead of you. I know you don't have a lot of income, but if you could go to your doctor and let them know you're depressed, you may be able to get a low dose anti-depressant to stabalize your feelings. Your doctor may even have samples due to your financial situation. You are not a waste in this society, you just haven't found out what your gifts are, but you will. Get your depression well controlled and your outlook will change.I'm very sorry you're not getting enough food to eat, please go to a local food bank or a church, caring people are out there and we all deserve to eat. I don't want you to do anything rash to yourself, you will be able to get through this time in your life and be a successbul young man who will be able to share his gifts with his fellow man. I care about you, please care about yourself.
  25. 1 point
    have you ever thought about accepting your depression? or, accepting where it directs you. you see, the part of the mind where you make decisions, the conscious, is only an extension of the unconscious. thus, you can find purpose behind your emotions and instincts that is contrary to what "you" want. maybe your unconscious is telling you not to go out, or make dinner, or whatever. maybe it's telling you that you need to sit down, and come to understand where your sorrows are truly coming from. i assure you, there is no difference in what causes all the suffering of men and women on this planet.
  26. 1 point
    AloneGuy

    How Is Your Weather Today #15

    An actual seasonal spring day today :) This evening it's in the 60's (F).
  27. 1 point
    Wrenn84

    One Good Thing

    I slept in and caught up on sleep
  28. 1 point
    Wrenn84

    Frustration With People

    I am not an introvert or shy at all, I have a large, busy extended family and a fairly busy social life. But I spend one day a week at least, where I just stay home with my dog, watch movies, read, cook and clean,and turn off my phone and don't answer the door. I need a break from people too. If I don't get my alone day weekly I get very stressed out, and cranky. I think it's healthy. Maybe not for an entire week but everyone needs some regular alone time.
  29. 1 point
    Shayne95

    Checking In On Everyone

    Epictetus, StoniumFrog and Flasquish. I hope all three of you are doing well. You are all respected people around here and all three of you have helped out so many people on this site and even myself at times, I appreciate it!
  30. 1 point
    Epictetus

    Your Feelings In Single Words #3

    Content
  31. 1 point
    flasquish

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    Just awoke.....time for breakfast
  32. 1 point
    Excellent tip. I will do this from now on.
  33. 1 point
    cadmus

    Black Sheep

    I used to be afraid of my weirdness and try and fit in with other people. Have got to a point I now don't care what people think of me at all. Has taken a very long time to get there and I sometimes get called weird or even to grow up but I take those comments with a sense of pride. At worse I don't offend anyone and at best I can pretty memorable :)
  34. 1 point
    teafreak

    Black Sheep

    After a certain age ( I wont say because I don't want anyone to think you have to wait till they are X years old ) I learned to celebrate how I am because I knew what I didnt like or find interesting in others and stopped wanting to waste time with their stuff
  35. 1 point
    overthedeepend

    Black Sheep

    me too...I hear the word "freak" a lot. It took awhile but I found people on line that share my interests and just try to not say anything to the people that I work with.
  36. 1 point
    I am thankful that it stopped raining for a few hours today
  37. 1 point
    Pandora a good hair day not waking up with a headache free coffee and lunch at work starting to notice improvement in my housekeeping
  38. 1 point
    Good idea, I really hope it can be help to those who I guess can be called the in betweens.
  39. 1 point
    I'm OK, busymoo...thanks for asking. I'm feeling better now.
  40. 1 point
    busymoo

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Hi Audrey Are you okay? If you're in any doubt about sharing those personal feelings on a public forum, then maybe just wait a while and see how you feel once the dust has settled. The worse thing is to write something you later come to regret and can't edit. I think sharing feelings is always a good thing to do and we'll always be here to support you when ever you're ready. But I'd hate for you to feel worse if you're not ready yet to share. **hugs**
  41. 1 point
    try not to get too much into wanting to suggest something to the doctor - i know there are some doctors out there that are not good, but the majority are careful and mindful of what they prescribe. Usually with antidepressants they prescribe the one that fits your symptom profile the best. I was very very scared of taking effexor for the first time 15 years ago, i read all the horror stories and almost gave myself panic attacks with worrying about what kind of side effects or long term effect it would give me. I called my doctor so many times and she was very patient, but finally she said she was a good doctor and a careful prescriber, she would try to help me, but i must try to trust her and not keep second guessing everything' that was the best thing she could have said to me - i decided i had to trust her as i was quite ill. I think it is important to take responsibility for our health, but with anxiety and depression issues, the very symptoms get in the way of making rational decisions.
  42. 1 point
    -Today was a warm, sunny day. -my dog -yoga
  43. 1 point
    I'm thankful that my interview went well today and that my job developer had helped me prepare.
  44. 1 point
    busymoo

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    LadyK, just wanted to echo Audrey's post. Seems you've both had a tough time growing up and CO helped you find an escape of sorts from it. You're both strong ladies and I'm very glad to know you both. Me on the other hand....I have no reason to do what I do. I had a happy childhood. Was just very socially scared and shy of everything. Also LadyK, please try not to worry about what you felt when this girl at work bumped into you. I think we can be so good at beating ourselves up over everything and anything. I can totally understand that you'd find these feelings shocking given that you are straight, but I think it is actually really normal to find other women attractive in all sorts of ways sometimes, but it doesn't mean we are gay or bi......just human.
  45. 1 point
    Audrey822

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    Lady Kay, I'm so sorry for what you went through. I'm glad you have Sonny to help you get through. (You have us, too).
  46. 1 point
    I absolutely loathe my hometown. I have no friends here. I have no school buddies here. I have no fond memories here. And the local flavor embodies everything I hate about humanity. The only reason I would stay if I could actually afford to escape would be my mother, father, and my sister's kids. But I really can't refuse to step out into the rest of the world just to make everyone else happy. Of course I'd be too afraid to strike out on my own and take a chance at failure without a safety net.
  47. 1 point
    unlovable1

    Possible Crisis Of Faith

    I had posted this in the relationships and depression forums and was told I might want to post it here: Since 2012, I've been a fairly religious person and was trying to deal with some issues that had caused me to leave the faith in my teens. Maybe it's my perception, but I feel like some people have managed to stay religous because things worked out in their lives relationship-wise and everyone else has been able to look past their flaws, but never mine. I started feeling depressed and when I started talking to some of the counseling lines, there would either be complete silence with no response or statements like, "the average marriage age is 25." (I'm 31. That did not help)regarding my depression in relationships and honestly thought I was going to start considering myself an atheist towards the end of 2013 and 2014. I've kind of given up on ever calling those lines because all it will do is make me feel more depressed and more hopeless. Around that time, I started talking seriously to someone and probably sent the wrong signals. They were talking about getting married and naming kids before we had even met and I gave in because of how desperate I was after what has felt like constant rejection. I was at the point where I probably would have agreed to anything. I also was sometimes feeling sorry for them. I did eventually end things and started trying to find someone more compatible. After that, I was starting to feel a little more belief but I've started struggling again. I honestly thought we were going to meet today (Saturday where I am), but after they agreed to it, they all of a sudden stopped talking to me. It feels like I'm the guy who mostly gets rejected. I mean, I guess my weight hasn't been the greatest lately, but I worked really hard to reduce it in 2012 (I went from 275 lbs to 197 lbs.) but then was apparently never good enough for the people I tried to talk to online and since then I gained a good portion of it back. I think I'm somewhere between 230-250 lbs. now. I just don't see the point of going through all that if it won't pay off at all and some days I just wish I would have a heart attack just so my pain would end. I've given up ever meeting someone in person because things always go disastrously wrong every time I've tried that. It seems like something always happens to prevent a relationship any time someone seems interested in me and I'm really tired of almost always being the rejected one. I mean, look at my username and you'll see how I feel. I know this may sound silly, but the only thing keeping me religous right now is what seems to me like a pre-birth memory of what I can best describe as a choir singing. Hope someone responds. Sorry for the wall of text.
  48. 1 point
    I was afraid of the horror stories too, not to mention the fact that the stuff made my husband have a meltdown. I had plenty of reason to be afraid of Effexor, but it turns out that it's just what I needed. I started out at 75 mg and am now at 300 mg. a day of the extended release version. You won't tell much of a difference after only one pill. All you'd probably notice were side effects. Though, I will say that I felt my depression lifting after four days of 75 mg. It wasn't consistent yet, but it was a good start. You say you might want something more stimulating, like Prozac. Effexor is known for being stimulating for some people. I can't comment on that, as I also take Buspar and Abilify which make me tired. I'm still hung over from the large dose I need of Abilify when I wake up in the morning. The people who find Abilify stimulating are taking 2 or 5 mg, not the 20 that I do. I can't tell you whether or not to take it, but since your doctor knows your history and has recommended it, I would definitely give it a try. If 75 mg scares you, I think it comes in a 37.5 mg capsule as well. I'm not positive on that, but I believe it does. Maybe that would be less scary? It would take longer to see a good effect if you'd need your dose raised, but it might be a more tolerable way of getting started. Good luck.
  49. 1 point
    I do believe there are subtle differences between brand names and generics. Sounds like your body was just sensitive to the difference. Good to hear you are doing good on the brand name.
  50. 1 point
    I know exactly what you mean about the sertraline. I felt the same way. It was weird. My appetite didn't increase, but all I wanted to do was watch tv, nothing more. I didn't even want to get up to get food.I took it for about 3 weeks until I snapped. I have tried Lexapro which had too many unpleasant side effects for me, zoloft, triavil a long time ago, now wellbutrin and geodon.
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