Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/06/2014 in all areas

  1. Hi all, I just wanted to share that after 8 years of a deep dark depression I am finally feeling great. After MUCH trial and error on different meds, my psychiatrist has finally come up with the perfect combination for me. Geodon 80 mg 2X per day, Wellbutrin 450 mg and Lexapro 20 mg. We just upped the Wellbutrin to 450 mg a couple of months ago, and WOW, what a difference it is making. I am up, out of bed, showered, dressed and doing things with my days. It is awesome to feel somewhat "normal" again after all of these years. So I just wanted to post encouragement for you all still struggling with depression. While medication isn't the only answer (I still see a psychologist once a week), it has been the miracle for me. I know now that I really do NEED the meds to be better, there is something off in my chemical balances in my brain. This is not a moral failing, it is a physical problem that needed proper treatment. I am unfortunately still suffering from migraines, but I am still searching for the proper medications to help with those. So there IS hope! Keep trying, don't give up! Be well. Gayle
    4 points
  2. This probably won't help you but I can share my experience at that age. I didn't start dating until I was 21 because it didn't occur to me to be interested until then. At age 18-21 I would have been far more interested in reading a book/learning or hanging out with friends than having a relationship. If anyone would have asked me, which I was told later people were too chicken to do, I would have said no because I wasn't into it. People want romantic involvement at different ages it could be you're wanting these things sooner than some girls you're pursuing are ready for. I would get rid of your "friends" who make fun of you for not being in a relationship. In college you don't have to put up with fake friends anymore and you can find some people that like you for you. I think a few solid supportive friendships could help you feel more stable and ready to try a relationship, they might even know some nice single girls they could introduce you to. Good Luck!
    3 points
  3. If anything attractiveness is overrated, I see average not so attractive guys that are less attractive than me get with women all the time. Confidence is more important unless you are really unattractive.
    3 points
  4. Completely disagree (although I'm sure some people might). In the past I've been suicidal many times because of my appearance. I have BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) even though people tell me I'm "hot" all the time! My extreme anxiety disorders and severe depression have ruined years of my life, so don't presume because someone might be objectively good looking or whatever that life is easier. Actually I know a lot of not classically attractive people who are very happy and have great successful lives. Plus attractiveness is very subjective!
    2 points
  5. Hi Lloyd Barrett and the other young men in this message that I've responded to recently. Forming relationships is hard for many reasons. It does hurt to see other boys having relationships with girls around you and you haven't been able to find someone. Like Epictetus, I had to wait until later in my life to find the person that I have been sharing my life with for 20 years. I'm sure you're all good looking men, and don't understand why you're having a hard time to make that connection. I can only share my experience. I had and probably always will have a problem with meeting new people. I have this little nagging feeling that I'm not like everyone else. I tried everything, going out to bars, malls, anywhere where there were people, but I had the hardest time knowing when I could walk up to someone and make a connection. Where I live, people don't stop and talk with each other, so if you walk up to them they look at you like you're going to rob them or something. The reality is, it took me a long time until I found the one for me. The process of dating made me extremely anxious. My advice to all of you is to have confidence in yourselves, accept rejection when it happens, and wait patiently. Don't stop looking for that which you desire. There are many lonely women with the same feelings as you. Appear confident, but not cocky. Make sure your eyes are open at all times, the person you could be with may be walking by. Don't let your emotions overtake you, sadness or fear of rejection. You can and will make that connection when it is your time. Don't give up.
    2 points
  6. I just read your post and want to say how sorry I am that you are suffering. I think it is really good that you wrote and posted this as many other people will be able to relate to what you speak of. Its good to get things out when suffering. I myself did not have a girl friend until very late in my life. And loneliness was always there in the background night and day. It was worse than any pain I experienced. It was so unbearable that my imagination manufactured an imaginary girl friend for me to dull the unimaginable pain of being alone. Like you, seeing scenes of happy couples cut me to the bone. Having been on this site for over a year and reading the messages of people, I feel like there are people all over the world, in every country in the world who are experiencing this kind of deep loneliness. I know that is no comfort to you however. I hope things change for the better for you. I hope there will be some happy surprises in your immediate future. I don't really know what else to say accept to welcome you to this Forum.
    2 points
  7. 'budfox', on 03 Jul 2010 - 23:03, said: I was going to write this post as a journal entry to myself as I'm feeling very low and panicky at the moment. However on the off-chance that it might be of benefit to some of the good, nay great, folks on DF I thought I might as well post it here. I read a lot of the posts on this forum and one very common feature of what people are going through is the fear and panic they feel at what is happening to them. Browse through the posts and you will see a lot of, 'I don't know what's happening', 'Something is not right', 'I'm losing my mind', etc. I've made similar statements in some of my previous posts on this very forum in the past. Even though I've suffered from depression for more than 10 years I am still freaking out at how bad I'm feeling right now. Surely by now I should be an expert at managing this? I have had enough experience after all. So, this is what I'm trying to tell myself (and for what it's worth I know this to be totally true, it's just that depression sometimes casts a dark fog over our thinking): For all the terrible symptoms it produces we are all suffering from the SAME basic condition. Of course depression and anxiety affect us uniquely, such is the nature of a disease of the most amazing and complex system known to man, the human brain. However, even though we probably all feel like we are going through something totally personal to us, and I don't deny that in a sense we are, essentially we're all suffering from the same underlying illness, caused by abnormal changes in our brain neurochemistry. The reason none of us can just 'snap out' of depression is that it's an absolutely real illness. Stop thinking of the symptoms you are experiencing as being a manifest reflection of something that is deeply wrong with you. You're just ill. In the future they will be able to precisely elucidate the neurochemical changes that are going on within the brain. For now, they have kind of a rough idea of what's going on but not much more than that. Some days I wake up and can hardly get out of bed. I mean that quite literally. I feel numb to everything, no energy, utter hopelessness for the future and no interest in anybody or anything. Then a day later I can wake up and feel totally normal. Nothing in my life circumstances has changed from the bad day to the good day, it just so happens that for some reason that is inexplicable to me on the first day my neurochemistry is screwed up and on the second day it is within normal ranges. So whatever weird, horrifying, disturbing symptoms you are suffering from please try to remember that you're just ill. If it was an illness of the body you would feel pain or you would have difficulty walking or impaired vision. However, because illnesses like diabetes, arthritis, etc affect organs other than the brain the symptoms they produce, while they can of course be very serious, are still more uniform and less confounding than an illness which affects the brain, an organ many many times more complex than anything else in these bodies of ours. If you feel totally down or anxious when reading this then just accept that there is little that you can do about the way you feel right now to feel instantly better, although of course things like exercise and certain fast acting medications can help greatly. But also know that your brain chemistry is in flux and you are not going to carry on feeling like this forever. There's no point trying to analyse the way you feel or trying to think the way out of your depression, anymore than it would make sense to try and think your way out of diabetes. The depression or anxiety is there, it is making you feel so bad and when it goes you will feel better. I realise that we might all have developed depression for different reasons but I doubt there is one person on this forum that can say that his or her life circumstances are absolutely unique and that the life he or she has gone through is worse than that experienced by many of the millions of people who go through terrible things but don't ever develop depression. Accept that the depression or anxiety is there for now, stop thinking about it and learn to function as best you can even with the worst depression or anxiety that you have ever felt. And take hope in the knowledge that this will get better. Many posters are also blaming themselves for something that is not in the least their fault and saying things like 'I feel like a loser', 'I don't feel worthy', etc, etc. I say to you 'Nonsense!!!' You are just ill. In fact you are more worthy than most because you're dealing with a horrible illness and still managing to keep going. Most of you deserve medals, I tell you that. You're soldiers. Yet because our society is so nasty and backwards, we are still expected to function as well as people who don't have depression at all. When I think about how I am, I mean how functional I am on a good day as compared to a bad day, the gulf between the two is massive. The bad day Bud cannot possibly hope to compete with the good day Bud. It's like trying to be in a fight with someone with one hand tied behind your back. So be realistic and don't be too hard on yourselves. When you're down then do what you can but don't expect too much. Be gentle. As for what everyone in your company or your social circle thinks, to hell with them. They're not experiencing this and you are. Human beings like to go around feeling superior to others and judgmental, especially in modern workplaces. Their lack of sympathy, empathy or understanding is a sad reflection on them, not on you. I tell you you are all wonderful people and it pains me to see you suffer. Well maybe right at the moment you can't help the suffering but you can avoid compounding it. Let's support each other through this and take the view that we are in it together. Know that if you post here you'll get a reply, so however incapable of understanding people in your lives might be, you'll always have this forum to come to. I don't know about you but I at least find great solace in that. Thanks for listening. B
    1 point
  8. There's a catch 22 though. When the gorgeous people hit hard times in life, they are probably less likely to see through them because they've been so used to having it easy that, within the moments of it NOT being easy, they can't adapt to it. So, overall I really don't think they have it better.. Doesn't mean to say that everyone else has it worse. Actually, all in all I think it really depends on how capable you are, not just the looks.
    1 point
  9. I looked at your FB profile and lived to tell the tale. Actually you look fine. The pic I saw was pretty dark but I saw a normal looking guy. Not that it would matter either way. What's far more important is who you are and what you have to offer the world. Maybe find a way to work on those social skills - thru volunteering, clubs and activities, etc.
    1 point
  10. An appropriate song for my situation....."Your're Gone" (lyrics below) You're gone as suddenly as you came to me Like nightfall followed dawn without a day between You're gone and suddenly I can't see I'm in the shadow of you I'm in the shadow of you I can see you in my minds rose-tinted eye.. Somewhere you're drifting by Your heels rolling sparks on the lucky street While here am I left behind Stunned and blind But I can see you from here I can see you so clear You are the light You are the light You have the day I have the night But we have the early hours together You're gone, and heaven cries A thunderstorm breaks from the northern sky Chasing you back to the daily grind You're gone and where am I? A haunted life The ghost of your laughter The half empty glass The half empty glass And I wait Till midnight tolls Two souls almost touching in the dark I'll be allright You are the light You are the light You have the day I have the night But we have the early hours We have the early hours We have the early hours together
    1 point
  11. Jman: I find that alcohol just isn't helpful to me. My own personal choice. I affirm your resolutions and wish you the best. T
    1 point
  12. Dani: Needing reassurance is often part of anxiety and depression. It is a natural symptom, though it can ultimately get in the way of relationships that matter the most to us. I'm glad you are looking into therapy. One thing I try is to delay asking for reassurance. When I sense the need to do so, I slow down and tell myself to ask later. Sometimes later can be as short as 5 minutes. Sometimes it is a day. But delaying can help build the emotional muscles to trust that things are okay. T
    1 point
  13. Billyboo Here's to hoping that the pain diminishes for you.
    1 point
  14. Why does this seem to strike such a chord with you? I never saw someone this angry over porn
    1 point
  15. Boils down to individual response to SSRI. Probably all 5 effects have been observed if you sample a large enough patient population.Effect #3 sounds pretty scary by the way. I hope that one is rare! I am on SNRI (Effexor), which also has high incidence of k!lling libido and other parts of sexual response cycle. My current Depression is a mixed bag of low energy, little to no motivation, low libido, and insomnia. So I can identify. I do not have a simple, satisfying answer for you, but here are 2 things you may want to try. 1) You mention you are looking to start dating again, possibly fall in love, and all that other good stuff. You also say you are lacking the sexual drive or physical yearning to do so. However, at least on a cerebral (intellectual) level you DO want to move in that direction. So it's not as if you are entirely un-interested. You are just concerned you do not have the physical response cycle to back up your cerebral pursuit of dating/relatinships. My advice is to go into it without any regard to the missing libido. Get yourself out there, whether you prefer to do it in person or online (e.g. dating sites). You may find that as you go through the dynamics of meeting and dating women, your testosterone and natural endorphins will override the libido-k!lling SSRI mechanism. The excitement of being with someone new/intriguing may well be the activator swiitch. So basically, instead of waiting for the libido to kick in and THEN starting to date, you are doing it in reverse order. Now, this may naturally cause some anxiety in you, and will doubtless lead to your next question: If the dating goes well and you find yourself in the "driver's seat" of the Lamborghini, how will you perform? Which leads me to my 2nd suggestion. 2) Arm yourself with a prescription for Cialis. I have found that it interacts fine with being on SSRI. This will not help your libido in a direct fashion. But it will help you out physically, once your dating reaches the sex phase. And it will decrease your anxiety in terms of being able to perform while on SSRI. One less aspect of the sexual response cycle to worry about. You'll have enough endurance to get to the end zone. Without fumbling the football. I would not withdraw the SSRI, especially if it is helping you in other respects. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.
    1 point
  16. Thank you for your post! As a guy that does not have it so bad, I often feel like a zero. Don't want to get out of bed or go to work or interact with people. When I make a mistake, it makes me feel so bad it is as if I am the biggest mess-up in the world. I have been on many medicines and seeing silver linings playbook made me feel so bad about myself because they took the same meds as I did and turned their life around in less than 2 hours! I know it's a movie and a nice chick flick but it is hard to watch sometimes because I think, "me too!" I am new and I have noticed that many people here do not realize how important they are in this world. I sometimes feel this way: I know Einstein was a loner but at least he won the Nobel Prize - I'm just a useless loner. People have a tendency to be alone sometimes and then beat themselves up a lot. But for others, we know how awesome they are - so why not allow ourselves to be okay with ourselves even when imperfect? It is something I'm working on. I am really talented! Aside from depression, I recently blew my month's salary gambling. At this point, I have to laugh. Sometimes I think I want to be depressed with the idiocy of what I do. But the beauty of life is that you can start anew again. Today, I will forgive myself and allow myself to be okay with the imperfections (not the gambling. that needs to stop.) It's okay if I say good morning at 2pm. It's okay if I forgot to email the client on time. I will try my best and sometimes that is just showing up. First steps. Thousand mile journey starts with one step but so does the walk up the block. Good luck friends, I am impressed with how amazing you all are.
    1 point
  17. Hi Barry Blue, The grass on the other side is not always greener. Accept your looks, there is somebody for everyone. I'm not going to bother looking at your Facebook profile because it doesn't matter. If you're using Facebook, you have some sort of social skills. I'm 43, and won't join Facebook or any of those types of sites, but you have to give yourself some credit. You can have high self esteem and confidence no matter how you look. You may think you're not good looking, but others may think differently. There is no need in hating your life, your time will arrive and you'll look back at your life and realize you are good enough and just fine the way you are.
    1 point
  18. Your open-mindedness is refreshing Rexxsi. However, you are getting 2 basic concepts confused. One is perception of morality and the other is legitimate addiction. You say in your 3rd sentence that "if you can get addicted to porn, you can get addicted to anything". Well, guess what? You CAN get addicted to anything!! I am not an addiction specialist, but people have gotten addicted to everything from video games to gambling to collecting live CATS... until HazMat has to be called in with biohazard suits and oxygen tanks to detox their house. One can get addicted to an activity that in and of itself is fairly harmless. No one is going to drop dead or have their hair fall out from seeing hardcore porn in high definition. Indeed, there is nothing wrong with embracing it once in a while, if one finds it relaxing or entertaining. The real problem is when it completely takes over someone's life and takes over their brain chemistry such that other important activities are ignored: work, sleep, grooming, eating healthy, relationships. It is not a judgement or morality call. It is a neurobiology thing. So yes, nothing wrong with enjoying a little porn. Or even more than a little. If one can break away from it long enough to say, plan a ski vacation with the wife or do some much needed grocery shopping. Or you know, take a shower and shave. It is all a matter of "degree" and whether one's brain maintains the needed discipline to attend to other necessities of life. Addiction happens when there is a short-circuit in the brain's reward system. The activity is pursued for the activity's sake in an obsessive fashion, and one's life becomes overwhelmed with that single purpose. How to get your next "fix". Luckily, this is one addiction that I have never had a problem with. But I can give you an example of a similar one that I HAVE had problems controlling in the past: Video games. Much like porn, it is not inherently harmful physically. It will not lead to cirrhosis of the liver like alcoholism does. And it will not give you lung cancer like cigarettes. But as with many seemingly harmless activities, once the addiction switch is triggered, it causes self-sabotage in many other areas of one's life: work, sleep, school, relationships, etc. In fact, you can Google video game addiction in Asian teenagers. This is a huge problem right now in both Japan and South Korea. And it is recognized as a legitimate addiction. With rehab centers set up to re-connect these teens to nature, sun, birds chirping, and face-to-face human friendships.
    1 point
  19. HI DA: Absolutely, treatment helps. In fact, for many people treatment with a good counselor/therapist and the right medicine is life changing. Long term is needed by many of us. If you have depression and/or anxiety and have not had support from a therapist and a doctor, I certainly encourage you too.
    1 point
  20. My blood if frozen thinking about how cold it is for you Pat and the others posting terribly cold temperatures.
    1 point
  21. Great news! I had been searching for some success stories to give me hope. Thanks for sharing yours.
    1 point
  22. Thank you for sharing! I'm happy for you.
    1 point
  23. Hi everyone, I fell into depression 20 years ago and for the last year I have been progressively coming out of the deep depression. A year ago I was in the mental hospital again. My meds where changed just a little before I was released. I felt great when I got out so much so I talked the Pdoc into decreasing the main med. But I found out I was not a Doctor and had to go back up on the med after falling into the pit of despair,depression, and anxiety. I have since been getting along rather nicely, a few gloomy days and then right back to living life to its fullness. My main med is Marplan which is a MAOI which has helped me along with the Pdoc, CBT and EBT. About 6 months ago the Pschychologist dismissed me. I also take Klonopin daily and Xanax as needed
    1 point
  24. Your not alone, I think there enough guys here that can relate to y our problems. If you want to talk you can always send me a message of just ask one of the amazing people here on the forum. As advise I would say that you could try to not stress to much about it, things like this happen. Not everyone can be good with girls and you will find a girl that will love you for who you are. Although it may not feel like it now, your only 19 with your entire life ahead of you. Just believe in yourself and don't rush it, things will come together in the end.
    1 point
  25. i can relate to what you're saying,i've also never had a girlfriend and i wish i can offer you any helpful advice but unfortunately i don't have any :( but you shouldn't feel ashamed of posting a message like this here,this is a great community and everyone here are really nice and can understand what you're going through,i've signed up here a week ago and i already met lots of helpful and nice people. if you ever feel the need to talk to someone feel free to talk to me :)
    1 point
  26. I think I'm actually average looking, but people have said mean things to me about my looks over the years (usually out of anger) and I always take those comments to heart. Nasty comments about my appearance are the type of comments that hit me hardest, and I remember those comments a lot more clearly than anything else that people have said over the years. It doesn't help that a lot of my friends are extremely superficial and talk about how looks are the most important thing about a person. I've grown up around these people and it's caused me to constantly feel ugly and worthless. Of course, I had low self-esteem to begin with, so I'm not saying it's all because of other people, but being told things like "You should put a bag over your head" and being asked "Why are you so ugly?" certainly haven't helped me to build up any self-confidence. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to bring kids into this world if I think they will most likely be unattractive. I wouldn't want my children to experience all the pain I've endured because of how I look (or rather, how I've been told I look). I know being good looking doesn't automatically make your life easy, but it is one less thing to worry about. In my experience (from what other people have said/how they've treated people), being good looking enables you to get away with stuff that unattractive people would be heavily criticised for doing. The halo effect seems to legitimise a lot of bad actions if you're attractive.
    1 point
  27. Hey crazydayz, i'm currently a student so I might not be able to give you the best job advise but I have been looking for the right job/study myself for a long time. I'm currently in my 3th year or my 4th study. I have tried a lot of different things and still haven't found exactly what I want but I have excepted what i'm doing now just to finally finish something. My advise for a job would be do something you love or enjoy. If that is working in the corporate world and it makes you happy I say do it. I think everyone's depression is individual and everyone handles it in his own way so you need to find a job that fits you best. Of course life isn't easy like this and there isn't a perfect job but I think you should try and find something that comes as close of possible. What do you like to do? What makes you happy?
    1 point
  28. iskaral

    Hugs

    I want to hug you Thread Thank you for helping me so much
    1 point
  29. I'll be blunt. In all my experiences and observations of others it feels like personality doesn't mean s**t to 95% of guys under the age of 35 and 50% of the girls under 35 year olds. Why do I say this? Because I use to only use fake pictures online.....usually of thin pretty Asian girls or sometimes white or hispanic girls. I'd get inundated with messages, and after talking to me they'd tell me how amazing I was, too good to be true, had a killer personality, was just like one of the dudes, blah blah blah blah. When I go to using my own pictures finally I put the same stuff on my profile and get absolutely NO messages. So I'd get up the courage to message a few guys and girls who have the same interest as me and have "I don't care what you look like I'm just look for friends" on their pages, and they'd either not respond or respond with two or three words.....like they were annoyed or disappointed some fat black chick was messaging them. So of course I'd feel like s*** after a few messages and I'd just stop responding, since it becomes painfully obvious after 3-4 tries that you're the only one interested in having a conversation. After a while I started to wonder if my depression was making me paranoid....this is about 6 months. So I tested a theory and created a fake profile with pretty pictures of some thin gorgeous alternative girl on this alternative site I was on, and then on POF i made a profile with some pretty thin asian girl........within MINUTES I was swamped with a million and one messages, and low and behold the same people who seemed bored with me under my real profile where just as nice and going on and on and on in their messages to me as a fake. So anyone who says it's all about personality, is lying to you - period....especially online! I'd say offline personality probably doesn't mean crap to 80% of guys and 50% of girls. Try the experiment yourself and test the responses you get.....it's depressing but realistic. Now I'm not saying men don't have the right to be attracted to the person they wanna get with, but since when do you have to be attracted to someone who just wants to be friends?? Well, welcome to the new internet.....it sucks. -sigh- Learn not to let it define you or you'll surely go insane. At the end of the day looks don't matter to EVERYONE, and offline you have a much better shot at meeting someone who sees value in you as a person. But do expect it to be a lot harder if you're not thin and super pretty - that's life unfortunately.
    1 point
  30. Statistically speaking, yes. More attractive people are generally more successful. However, a poor person isn't going to gain anything by lamenting the fact that they have no money. You determine your self esteem, no one else. AA
    1 point
  31. "Port of Call" by Beirut. "You had hope for me now I danced all around it somehow Be fair to me I may drift awhile Were it up to me You'd know why No I don't want to be there for no one I'd stay here No I don't want to be there for no one That's over the sea I don't want to follow your light On the sea No I don't want to be there for no one That I can't see" I'm horrible at interpreting lyrics but I see this as a song that I really can identify with relationship-wise.
    1 point
  32. My resolution is weight related. I am to be at goal weight by the end of May.
    1 point
  33. adropintheocean

    Alcohol?

    I used alcohol heavily when I was 19-21 years old. Partied hard 5 nights a week, had an active social life, tons of "friends" and always got invited to social events. I used the alcohol to cover up my depression and transform in to the uninhibited, outgoing person I dreamed about. It worked...but the side effects weren't worth it. There are alternative ways that won't lead to poor decisions, bad health and regrets. I contracted EBV (mono) when I was 20 and was partying so heavily that I didn't take any time to recover... 5 years later and I'm still paying for it. Exhaustion, fatigue and overall poor health. Steer clear from alcohol! Here's a great article with tips on how to go to social gatherings (that center around booze) without actually drinking: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7891/why-i-dont-drink-alcohol-how-to-cut-back-on-booze-without-being-a-hermit.html
    1 point
  34. Many people on here, as I see, can relate to this and I can relate too. It's truly unfortunate, because you need to struggle with something you're not responsible for. I struggle with it everyday, and I've been struggling with it since I was an early teenager. I look at myself in the mirror and I hardly ever have a smile for myself. My mother can't see that because she is my mother. My friends can't see that because I hide my self-loathing so well that I seem as confident as a beautiful person would be. The fact is, that at a certain point in your life, after people have treated you in some ways, it just comes natural to hide every shape of pain so well under a perfectly smoothed shell. I can relate because my friends, who are beautiful, get countless discounts and favors by just fluttering their pretty eyelashes. It's difficult, really. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that. But I also have to quote InFlames. I know beautiful people who are depressed too, and depression, like death (as we say here) doesn't spare a glance for anyone's looks. It's equally brutal, heartless and cruel, no matter if you're beautiful or not.
    1 point
  35. IDK, what genre are you referring-to? Uhh well first you know how an artist's music can technically be in multiple genres? For example, someone like Beyonce could be Pop, R&B, and maybe soul music (from wikipedia). But all of these are kind of interchangeable in way you know? Like there not that distinct from each other. ANYWAY... I found about folk, indie pop, and folk rock. There all kind of the same. People like Damien Rice or Glen Hansard. It's kind of amazing I found them because they are not that popular here in the state's. I don't even know if anybody I know knows about them. Ever since then I've been expanding my musical palette so to speak lol. Now I'm on to soundtracks, from like movies and stuff. Sometimes instrumentals can be more powerful than songs with lyrics! me too i've been listening to nothing but indie rock and indie folk,some of the best music i've listened to in my life, bands like kodaline and volcano choir are great.
    1 point
  36. IDK, what genre are you referring-to? Uhh well first you know how an artist's music can technically be in multiple genres? For example, someone like Beyonce could be Pop, R&B, and maybe soul music (from wikipedia). But all of these are kind of interchangeable in way you know? Like there not that distinct from each other. ANYWAY... I found about folk, indie pop, and folk rock. There all kind of the same. People like Damien Rice or Glen Hansard. It's kind of amazing I found them because they are not that popular here in the state's. I don't even know if anybody I know knows about them. Ever since then I've been expanding my musical palette so to speak lol. Now I'm on to soundtracks, from like movies and stuff. Sometimes instrumentals can be more powerful than songs with lyrics!
    1 point
  37. I feel like this all the time. I don't wish ill fate on anyone, but it is hard seeing a bully live their life while we are still suffering or living miserably. In my opinion, part of the reason is the bullies were our energy suckers and lowered our self-esteem with their abuse. By doing this, it built up their self-esteem to achieve what they wanted to do in life. While we are left with mental illnesses, low self-esteem and a host of other problems. Also, I think the success you see could have come from them bullying plenty of people to get their way to the top. For example, some people bully their competition out of the workforce and next thing you know they end up a boss or getting promoted (personal experience). I don't know why this happens but life is truly unfair. I think your best bet would be to stop looking at their Facebook because that will just make you feel worse. People usually only put positive information on Facebook anyway or some people could even be lying with certain posts. I knew a lady who pretended she was married. Anyway, I hope things work out for you one day and the bullies see how successful you become (hopefully better than them...lol).
    1 point
  38. This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race-Fall Out Boy
    1 point
  39. I think that many of the people that become depressed were already sharp, intelligent and deep to begin with. Honestly, I wouldn't give depression credit for any of these traits. Personally speaking, I've always been pretty deep in my own way, and very creative. I play the piano, I write. Depression didn't make that better, it made it worse. It made me lose interest in everything and everyone and it left me a frightened, anxious shell of the human being that I was before. So my opinion is this: because of their tendency to ruminate and overthink, many people become depressed. But overthinking requires some measure of intelligence, doesn't it? So it's more like, many intelligent people are more likely to become depressed because of their thinking patterns and attitude.
    1 point
  40. I find it interesting to see a females point of view on this topic here. I'd have to say it is the first time I've seen a female say she had used porn and yet another say they see nothing wrong with it. As a guy I know my use of porn started when I was about 16 and found some while cleaning offices as an after school job. I was instantly hooked due to my age and the desire to be in a relationship but having no social skills. I saw other guys with girlfriends and always wanted that. After viewing the porn I began to start having relationships with girls and it inevitably went to sexual behaviors that always broguth the relationships to an early end as I never went "all the way" fearing getting a girl pregnant. When I was 18 I met a girl I fell deeply in love with but she ended up choosing to go back to a former boyfriend in the end right as I was ready to ask her to marry me. It was for the best for her in the long run I see now. Take into account that I was sexually abused by my mother as a yound child and the porn just brought back all the desires that should never have been there at that point in time in my life. Now after years of the battle with porn and trying to quit numerous time and failing the internet came along and gave all the guys in the world a smorgasboard of women to choose from that were not only willing but very skilled in doing the things we all fantasized about. Mind you it isn't the womens fault at all since the porn industry was formed and run by men first and foremost. Now take all the guys like me who were fighting the shame part of the battle and toss a laptop at them and say "look for this" (now called Googling) and the gates come down and it's an oll out porn fest whenever and wherever you want. Funny how part of the word Google is "ogle"? Well now I find myself here on this forum and the topic pops up again but this time in a help based manner. To say that porn has changed how I look at women is arguable as I have always since a young boy looked at girls with a "gee, I wish I had her in my life" type of thought. The sexual thoughts just come naturally from that. I see women as a huge part of the beauty of this world and sometimes wanting beauty is a natural feeling given how ugly the world can become when you are depressed. I see a pretty women and think what a gift she must be to some other guy in the world. I have the most beautiful woman in the entire world as my wife but as many other guys know, depression on my part has pushed her far away from me due to fear about my erratic mood swings and my anger issues. We were blessed with twins two years ago when we weren't even supposed to be able to have children (as was told to her by a "medical professional") and since she went through such a difficult pregnancy to bring the twins into the world her desire for me sexually and her time constraints made sex impossible between us even though she is the only woman I truly WANT to be with. Still after two and a half years of seeing her daily and wanting her so badly but not having her physically my selfish mind turned back to porn and the easy access of it all. Last week she told me she knew of it and was much less than pleased with me to say the least feeling that I had lied to her because of it. I never denied the fact and hung my head in shame when she told me that she knew but feeling shut out away f rom her for the past 2+ years was no excuse nor a valid reason for using porn in her mind and I agree with her. I am ashamed to admit that I allowed the draw of self pleasure into my life when I should have stayed away from it knowing what it meant to her and our marriage. Now there is a huge gulf of silence between us on a daily basis and I am the one to carry the responsibility for it. Think porn is just on porn sites? WRONG! Check out the daily Yahoo pages for news from Hollywood and you will see sexually tempting images, soft core porn. Go to Craigslist and you can see it on the rants and raves pages, as well as the casual relationships pages with very clear detail of other peoples sexual lives. Go to any page you want and you can see it (except here fortunately) in the form of dating service ads and what have you. Once you let porn into your mind it will see so many opportunities for sexual gratification that you never saw before. Hard core porn isn't the issue here, it is the brain's desire to find a chemical release to stave off personal pain in any manner possible as is done with other form of addiction like drinking or drugs or gambling. It is a chemically bound addiction. When I first was told I was suffering from depression the doctor told me that I was addicted to the strongest drug there was and my own body produced it - Adrenaline. The brain gets a rush of chemicals and it feels better for a short time and then it wants more, and more and more. Eventually your brain is controlling your behavior in ways you wouldn't want if you weren't addicted to it. To the young woman who responded here in favor of porn I can only ask one question, if you knew I was looking at you and lusting over you and pleasuring myself would you call me a pervert or say that I was just naturally expressing my admiration of you in a physical way? It is a living hell to be unable to look at a pretty girl and not think what you would like to do with her in a sexual manner. My desires should be for my wife alone and I know that yet I fell far from that goal the minute I returned to using porn. I know how much I love her and want her to be happy sexually and thinking of her with someone else kills me inside, yet I do that exact thing every time I look at porn. It's a no win situation and the guys on here who are honest enough to admit they are fighting this are in the minority it seems. All I can ask of the women of the world is not to hate us for wanting sexual intimacy in our lives, it hurts like hell not to have it when we see beauty all around us.
    1 point
  41. Well I'm not on Facebook and I don't track or keep up with people who treated me like crap - I mean why would I wanna do that? But the people who use to tease me were not popular and were teasing me for being fat because they didn't wanna get teased about how THEY looked, and they use to tease me about acting white when I'd celebrate getting a good grade because they were mad they were getting crappy grades, so I can't imagine they'd be soaring to success right now. But even if they are, I wouldn't even care. Being jealous of them would give them too much satisfaction or power in my life, and that idea makes me sick at 24 years old. DON'T' GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION OR POWER TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!!!! <3 <3
    1 point
  42. Another great post. Your blog is proof that you do have something to give.
    1 point
  43. I can relate 100%. I was mostly bullied at school and although it's been almost 10 years since I left school I haven't really moved on. A lot of my old school friends are friends on Facebook with the people who bullied me, so sometimes a random picture or some update from their perfect lives is unexpectedly thrust at me via a mutual friend, and it makes me very bitter that they never had to suffer any repercussions and I'm suffering them still. I try to work towards forgiveness, in a way, not because they deserve to be forgiven but because I deserve to move on and let go, and the only person I'm hurting with all the anger and resentment is myself. But it's one thing to realise those things and a completely different one to put it into action.
    1 point
  44. I couldn't agree more! I have struggled all of my life and still do. I always will. I was born this way. But I always get jealous or envious of people who have been handed everything or walked on the shoulders of others to get there. It's never fair.
    1 point
  45. It just gets me seeing people who act like jerks appear on the surface at least to be "successful". Certain people I know, hobnob frequently with politicians and other figures, but I know what they did to get there, and what kind of jerks they are in real life (i.e. things like womanizing, treating women like objects, general lying, cheating, stealing, etc.) but then when you hear public praise about them, and seeing pictures of them smiling at fundraising events and other charitable things.. THAT is what gets me....That disconnect between that hidden side that I've observed, and the public image. The jealousy stems from me wondering how the hell did they still manage to get to where they are, while people who follow the rules just don't get anywhere? And then what takes me over the edge... Is knowing there is not one damn thing I can do about it, because apparently this is life. :/
    1 point
  46. I feel the same way. I wish I could emit a beam of positive energy to all those who have been hurt in some way by these cruel and painful words.
    1 point
  47. This is... really sad. I kind of want to hug all of you and I'm not even remotely a physical person. Let's see... "You're ruining my life" - My mom (after her boyfriend threatened to leave because he couldn't tolerate the fact that I was depressed... yeah) "Can't you just be normal??!" - My ex-boyfriend "No wonder. You look like you're mentally ********." - My ex's mother
    1 point
  48. YKYHADDW....... You run to the store to get milk and end up spending $50.00......and when you get home, you remember that you forgot to get the milk! You run to the store for grocery shopping, get all the items you need up to the register, and discover you have forgotten your wallet.
    1 point
  49. Great thread, Lisa. Looking back, I think my depressions are caused by something external and as I didn´t have the right tools to deal with it, I became severly depressed. But I always seem to get back on my feet, even when I have not been on medication. I´m currently on medication, I do CBT, therapy and work full-time. I´ve been a little housebound lately because of the weather and a really bad flu, so I haven´t been able to resume my swimming, walking and dancing. I can feel it´s starting to take it´s toll. I´m going to start a little yoga at home as soon as I start to feel better. Let me think... when my second marriage broke up and I lost my job at the same time, I became depressed for 2 years. I moved away and divorced my husband and started a new life and took on a new job. I got AD´s for the first time and went into remission for 4 years. Recent depression happened because of financial difficulties, loss of job and a break-up with my boyfriend. When my country crashed I lost my life savings and heritage, so I went into a deep depression for one and a half year. However, I got on my feet again, went to the doctor, got into therapy, started exercising and got my job back and created some new projects. I occasionally get the blues, but it doesn´t last very long. Maybe 2-3 days max.
    1 point
  50. SLM

    Viibryd! New A/d

    I almost gave up on Viibryd and I am glad I didn't. After 5 days on it, I remember calling my dr because u was in such a dark place, it was terrible. I felt like a zombie ( yes, someone mentioned that as a side effect- that was me!! ) and just soooooo tired and irritated. No will to exist. Fast forward to now: I have worked up to the max dose if 40mg (for the past 2 wks) and plan on continuing the treatment. I have MUCH more energy than before... Maybe I am more "normal" now. Lol. Abilify did work for me, but the bloating and rapid weight gain did not. I have not gained weight on Viibryd, and *maybe* it will give be the energy to work out so that I can lose some weight. I usually have terrible constipation problems on ADs, not so with Viibryd- since it kinda leans more toward the "more frequent" end of the spectrum. Anyway, I am glad I did not give up. It took a long time and the ride wasn't fun, but I like where I am at right now. I hope this helps someone.
    1 point
×
×
  • Create New...