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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/28/2013 in all areas

  1. JD4010, my punch bowl was already full of pee! I'm so tired of being disappointed in other people that I've become more and more reclusive and cynical. It hurts less that way, but it's lonely too. I never would have thought as a kid that I would become the grumpy old lady down the street and yet VOILA it's happening right before my eyes. I don't know if it's depression or just me but I can take a certain amount of the "normal pain" that goes with relationships and after that I shut off. Bah humbug!
    3 points
  2. Hello :) I just wanted to tell you about the huge revelation I've had in the last month or so and I hope that it might help some of you :). I fell into a deep depression about three years ago and it would take me another two years (with therapy) to actually get me to a state of mind where I started viewing life as 'acceptable'. I've always been somewhat emotionally numb and the depression removed just about every emotion I had. I had a very straightforward view of psychotherapy, I thought that any psychiatrist could do the job just as any doctor could fix a broken leg as long as I was being honest to the psychiatrist. My depression got gradually better during my years of psychotherapy despite me never getting an "aha!" experience or getting any emotional response to what we talked about. I just accepted that my depression came out of nowhere and viewed it much like a broken leg that needed to be fixed. When I finally got to a point where I wasn't depressed anymore I still lacked many of thoughts, feelings and ideas I had before I got depressed, but I was so happy about how far I had come that I totally accepted this way of living, I just thought of myself as someone who wasn't particularly happy. A year after this I took LSD with some friends of mine for the first time, thinking that I would just have a good time, this didn't become that case at all. The same moment the LSD began to have an affect on me, I became slightly sad (for no apparent reason for all that I was concerned, I didn't have anything to be sad about). The details of the trip is worth a thread on it's own so I won't go into that, what matters is that I felt like I had been so terribly wrong about myself, that I had somehow fabricated a person these last three years that wasn't truly me. The day after the trip was just amazing, I've never felt a closer relation to my friends and I suddenly felt very emotional about things. This experience got me to immediately call a psychiatrist (a different one than before) and I suddenly had a strong belief that I could actually be happy. This psychiatrist had a different approach than my last one and he recommended that I read some specific books and this brings me more on topic :) The books were "Leadership and Self-Deception" and "The anatomy of peace" both by the Arbringer Institute. What surprised me greatly was that these books touched on something that I had never thought of before and something that was sure as hell not discussed in my previous years of therapy, something that might have been the root of my depression in the first place. When I started a new class at the age of 13 I remember changing quite dramatically, back then I viewed myself as perfect, I thought I was smart, funny and I looked at everyone else as inferior to me. This was of course a delusional view, but some of it stuck around into my adulthood. At the ages 18-20 (before my depression), I didn't necessarily view others as inferior, but I still had a pretty high opinion of myself. I still thought I excelled in social gatherings, but more importantly I had a strong desire to be liked as well as for other people to view me as an authority. I desperately wanted to be this person so I had to avoid showing any weak spots to anyone, I had to keep this mask on at all times. This way of thinking was so deeply embedded into me that I never really questioned it. When I fell into a depression it became clear to me that I could not be this super-guy that I so desperately wanted to be, I began questioning if people really looked up to me, if I really was that good in social gatherings etc. As I began doubting myself I found less and less reason to be social. What was the point of me meeting other people if I can't play the role that I've been given? I thought to myself. I had previously enjoyed being social because I enjoyed getting attention, I enjoyed it when I found confirmation of myself in others, with this gone I couldn't find any motivation to being social. Mind that even thought I questioned how I appeared to others, my desire to be this perfect person was still as strong, that's how deep this was ingrained in me. These books made me realize that I didn't have to be this way. After reading them I did wonder how this would change anything, sure it would be wonderful to not constantly think about how I'm acting, what I'm saying and what other people think of me, but where would then my motivation for being social come from? This would change when I visited a couple of friends of mine a week ago. I was feeling kind of apathetic and bored before I got on the plane, thinking that I didn't care that much for visiting them, but this changed the very moment I entered their door. It felt like for the first time in my life I could be with my friends without thinking of how I appeared, I just was myself. What surprised me was that I could connect with my friends on a whole new level when I told my brain to stop thinking of myself. When my friends spoke, I just enjoyed listening to what they had to say rather than constantly thinking of how I would respond to it. I've now realized that it's no wonder I haven't had any really close relationships in my life, the energy it took to constantly trying to be someone else made me not wanting to be with people for longer periods of time. On top of this, I couldn't really connect with anyone as I couldn't really show any weaknesses, I've been more or less alone for most of my life :( My motivation for helping other people has also changed dramatically. Previously I would listen to whatever problem someone had, but not really care about them. I would listen, react sympathetically and then respond in an attempt to help them. My agenda the whole time was to act in a way so that they would think of me as a kind and sympathetic person. Now that I have finally put this way of being to a rest, I now feel real empathy and I can now be truly concerned for another human, this is completely new to me! On top of this I also think I've finally found the reason for why I got depressed. When I moved to another city to study I quickly figured that I wasn't motivated at all. I wanted to be someone who got up in the morning, worked out, got to every lecture and got great grades. This failed completely and it was a huge blow to my ego. I dropped out of uni within months and after that developed a rather unhealthy drinking pattern. The issue I've had with alcohol is also worth a thread on it's own, but what was important was that I developed a huge problem that I couldn't fix on my own. Combine this with the self-view I had, me wanting to be someone who couldn't ask friends for help because that would make me look weak and it's no wonder that my body screamed for help by putting me in a full blown depression. It feels so good to finally understand why this happened to me. I previously thought that the alcohol alone could be the cause of the depression even thought I wasn't feeling sad about anything, but I see now that the alcohol was just the final drop. Seems like every time i make a thread like this, it becomes a god damn essay, sorry about that :P I just find it so strange that I have never come across the topics that these books discuss until now, I just can't imagine how many of my friends and relatives that would get an "aha!" experience by reading them, I which that everyone would read them :) Me being depressed and in therapy for two years shows how deep this kind of issue can be without actually getting touched on, I actually feel stupid that I haven't thought of this before and that something as simple as a couple of books could completely turn me around. Even though LSD was the thing that started this whole thing, I'm not here to advocate or tell people to use it even though I think it's a pity that it can't at least be legal in a therapy setting, but that's a different discussion :P
    2 points
  3. This year I am so depressed that I can do nothing. I pray next year is different. Since I am alone, the hodidays are stressful. It hurts that my only remaining family, my sister, cannot invite me to spend the day with family. My local church had a special Thanksgiving service for years. I loved making side dishes and selecting alcohol. We set up a table in the church with fancy linens. We had about ten people. Several individuals and married couples who did not want to travel far. In contrast to family Thanksgiving, it was a lovely experience. The conversation was light but all were welcome. I feared being alone my entire life. One of my goals post depression is to date. I also want to be part of a community. I once joined a club house and the field trips gave me a sense of community. The people were very low functioning, though. I never quite fit in with the rest. This could depend on the particular clubhouse. There was no meaningful work to do. The field trips gave me a break. I love visiting museums. Being near Smith College would be a plus in my view. The others wanted to go bowling. It was class wars. Not being with people is very stressful. I am an extravert. Christmas was once a lovely holiday. I would bake cookies. My Christmas tree has been a life project. I collected many ornaments. B/c I had such small space now, I am considering selling the ornaments on ebay. They seem to come alive during Christmas season. Sadly, I cannot imagine being able to decorate this year. Perhaps it is time to get rid of my tree. I had such high hopes attached to the tree. Right now I know not to make decisions b/c of the depression.
    2 points
  4. Saros

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    The ice cream I bought today, for tomorrow - I just ate it all. Feel gross.
    2 points
  5. Girly

    Happy Thanksgiving

    Enjoy tomorrow everyone celebrating thanksgiving. If you are finding the holidays hard pop on here and post. Best wishes.
    1 point
  6. Wouldn't it be nice to have a gathering of all people like us, who seem to understand what is truly important in life and are able to respect each other rather than kick each other when we're down? What happens when "family" becomes the opposite of all that? I just don't get it.
    1 point
  7. lcdream

    Not Wearing Jewelry

    If you're a man - yes. Lose the chain. If you're a woman, jewelry is always nice, though too much can be...too much.
    1 point
  8. Not good. I'll likely improve once today is over though.
    1 point
  9. Hey Grovette, I've got the perfect opportunity to get loaded right now. But your 10 years of sobriety has inspired me to stay away from the bottle of alcohol I can see over the top of this computer's monitor (I'm at a relative's place for Thanksgiving and no one is down here in the den with me). I enjoy the lights decorating everything starting this time of year as well. Heck, it's 4:30 in the afternoon and the sun is already down. So lights are good! When we get back home, I'll put the lights on our 10' pine tree in the front yard. As much as I hate lights, I LOATHE the blow up ornaments many people have in their front lawns. Bleh. But back to a positive...I'm staring that bottle of booze down. It ain't gonna get the best of me...
    1 point
  10. Feeling **** at the moment as my boyfriend has called our relationship to a close without a reason. Amazing, really is and just when I thought I'd actually connected to another human being...
    1 point
  11. I love reading stories about people who have breakthroughs in their progress. On this thanksgiving day, I am thankful for reading this post! You give me and others hope that with hard work, therapy and self reflection, we can beat our demons. Thank you for this post!
    1 point
  12. Just wanted to say happy thanksgiving to all of you. Days like today are obviously hard for all of us since we cant really be a part of it mentally, so I wish you all the best of luck getting through the day and trying to act happy infront of family/friends.
    1 point
  13. frangipani

    Hello

    Hi there, DBqwerty, and welcome to DF. Thanks for introducing yourself, and I hope that you've gotten a chance to look around the boards already. You're not alone in this, and I hope that it helps to have found a place where you can talk with others in similar situations. I was fired from a job once...and eventually found another job where I wound up making substantially more money. Guidelines are very strict nowadays in terms of what former employers can tell potential employers, and NO ONE needs to know that you've been fired. (My line was, "I was laid off." And I actually got that line directly from the HR department of the company that fired me.) With the healthcare laws undergoing so much change nowadays, I'm not sure what your options are for keeping your health insurance. One suggestion, though, is to look into whether the manufacturer of your medication offers a prescription assistance program, and see what the criteria for qualifying is. Maybe that'll help calm your fears a bit. I'm sorry that you're unhappy right now, but things CAN change. I hope that you can hold onto that thought as a point in continuing to live. If you can't, however, and feel as though you might be a threat to yourself, please call the hotline number scrolling across the top of this site. Again, DBqwerty, welcome to the DF community. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Frangi
    1 point
  14. jojin

    An Arguement With God

    After being quiet and angry for over two weeks, I finally gave in and prayed last night. It was an angry prayer. I didn't want to get caught in the pretentious nonsense of praying; the "Praise,God, Highest and Holy," type thing. I don't speak Old English to people. Why should I with God? I told God I just wanted to get straight to the point and talk. (Not that He's undeserving of those titles). If God can hear a sad prayer or a happy or grateful pray, then He can hear the angry ones too. I had written more, but deleted it. Most people would have bypassed it, others would have skimmed, and I would be left feeling lonely anyways. I don't want a blog with some attention. I need a person willing to give me %100 attention and just listen. Happy Thanksgiving
    1 point
  15. Reading your post brought images of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." You are correct with the correlation of major depression and sh**ty memory. From reading your posts, I believe you to be young. I would be very surprised if you're present experience of having poor memory is linked to your depression. That's just my opinion though. I'm just about to turn 50 and I have been experiencing pretty cr**py memory for about 10 years now. Although it hasn't necessarily been getting worse, it is no less frustrating. Regularly learning new things and reading is good therapy, both of which I do (being a teacher helps greatly). However, I believe part of my memory problem has to do with having ECT (about a half dozen or so times...can't quite remember :) at one point.
    1 point
  16. I feel like such a loser.
    1 point
  17. Brokenme

    Od..

    tried to **** myself again. in hospital for few days..back out feeling a bit dazed. things not really better but im slightly stronger just a bit. now to pick up the broken pieces...
    1 point
  18. Oh, how I have always feared of being overly possessive... I don't believe that I am, BUT that is only because I am very trusting of my significant other and we have not had any reasons for me to feel "inadequate" or "lesser" in any real form. I was, however, on the recieving end on such treatment, and it was a very stressful relationship. It got to a point where I began to distrust HIM because he ALWAYS questioned ANYTHING I would do, people I talked to, worked with... etc. It made me feel that he did not see how much I valued our relationship... it made me feel HORRIBLE to know that he didn't trust my love for him, and I fell into a state of depression and abuse over him being that way. So just know that when you act that way towards her, depending on how severe, it could really HURT HER... like you cutting yourself that way- it takes things out of her ability to control, and in so doing then NOTHING can get fixed... please be cautious. I agree that it seems as though you might think lowly of yourself, and feel that your love would take the first chance out because you don't mean enough to her... But I'm sure that she thinks more of you than you know... maybe that is part of the issue here? Do you know how much she loves you? Don't you trust her? Doesn't she trust YOU? If any of your answers to those questions are "no" then maybe you've got some thinking to do... and some heart to heart talks... I'm sure that you encourage her in her studies, and what do you do? Do you also go to school? Do you work? Do you ever come across occassions when you must speak to women? Does that bother HER? Does it bother YOU? I think in your lady's case, her intentions are innocent any time she must talk to any male or female... I mean, she can't just act wierd and short with someone just because it is a MAN... it would be irrational to ask that of her wouldn't it? And I think you know that too... that's why you gotta figure out what it is that bothers you... I read what you say and I see HUGE trust issues- that or you under-value your own self-worth, and this will not do! Please feel free to message me if any of my advice helped you in any way. I am sorry if it did not.
    1 point
  19. dsm, I think if you post more about yourself and your feelings, you'll find much support here. I don't think that your feelings of "faking" emotions is that unusual. We all do it, just to get along. You are probably a deeper person that some of the people you come into contact with, and that alone can make you feel alone. And now we are in the thick of all the holiday hoopla! Maybe some people genuinely love the holidays, but I know an awful lot of people who feel pressured, stressed, and downright miserable. This is the season of fakery, as well as some merriment. You'll find support here! Nopawn
    1 point
  20. Hotaru

    Getting Ready For Thanksgiving.

    Running around gathering ingredients has been a pretty good distraction to stop me from thinking about how horrible the holidays are going to be this year. We're broker than ever before, and don't even have a Christmas tree now. We had this crappy little fiber optic one for a few years, which burnt out and just ended up looking like a bristling armpit in the corner of the room for a few years. Had enough of that and got rid of it. We do have a few other decorations to put around, which I really like, but…just seems like every year, the holidays lose their magic more and more, and all I really do to get excited about it is look forward to diving into a new video game. That kind of thing has been a constant tradition since Animal Crossing was released on the Game Cube, and I've always taken comfort in playing games like that ever since, somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Definitely brings back the childlike wonder and fun that used to come as a kid, at least! I like watching my husband play them, too. He was all into Yakuza last year, and this year he's looking to select one of these first person shooters to dive into for PS3. If anyone reading this has any suggestions, please send them my way! There are so many, and he can't decide which would be best. I think he's narrowed it down to somewhere between a Call of Duty game, and maybe Assassin's Creed. He was looking at Fallout, but I think lost interest. XD I'm still looking into selecting an Atelier game to try out, though tonight I pulled out my copy of Disgaea 2 and revisited that after many years. Ohhh the nostalgia! I LOVE that series. It's disturbing how much I love it. Favorite game series of all time. I love each and every installment to date! :) I'm mostly over my disgusted rage from a few days ago, for anyone who saw my last entry. I know it has to do with my hormones acting up, of course. I'm just trying not to think about it, because there's not a damn thing I can do to fix it, and remembering it will only pi** me off again. I just try to imagine that flyer guy going off with his buddies to the local izakaya for some snacks and a few beers and laughing it off at the end of the work day. I really do hope he was able to brush it off. I think normal people can do that, and I hope he's One Of Those. Otherwise, not much else going on. OH! I got a chance to get outside with my new Canada Goose coat for the first time, today! It was hovering around 12C and an icy wind was blowing, so I figured it would be as good a day as any to try it out! While it doesn't snow much here, winters can be pretty damn cold, and I walk all over this city, so I need to be able to stay warm to be able to get my errands done. Only problem with it is that I'm a bit broad in the beam, and pipe shaped long coats are all the rage right now, so the bottom part of the coat is a bit snug, while the upper body looks a little puffy. I imagine I won't give two s***s about that as long as I'm staying toasty warm through the cold days of winter, though! I'm just grateful we were able to smuggle the damn thing into the country. It cost a fortune, especially after shipping, paying a middle man, and a hefty import charge - another thing for which I will always be so grateful to my husband. Here's hoping the next few days and the days up until Christmas end up alright, and without a funk setting in. I'll be happy to wait until January for the post-holiday crash to set in. Then it'll just be 4 months of cold, and little else.
    1 point
  21. Peaceful Thankful Serene Content
    1 point
  22. Sorry, I know I've been harping on therapy in some threads. And amusingly, I don't a have a ready answer for "what it is". For me, despite psychiatrists telling me "hmmm, looks like there may be a biological root to this depression" (maybe they are biased towards bio because of their pharma approach???), therapy has had some value in that it let's me explore different modes of cognition - how I view and deal with depression, despite its origin. (and it's an albeit expensive way for me to socialize out some topics I'd rather not discuss with the general public). Therapy has helped me organize some of my problems. For example, I've learned my definition of "anxiety" is too narrow, and that some of my experiences can be classified as anxiety. It doesn't fix my problem, but being able to put a label on things is helpful. 90 bucks a month for internet is outrageous!
    1 point
  23. Thanks for the 10 year sobriety comments. That is a big deal, isn't it. Depression tells me that no matter what I do "It's Never Enough", logic tells me that I'm kicking butt for someone who has a mental illness and addiction issues.
    1 point
  24. Saros

    Why I Loathe The Holidays

    Please don't pee in my punch bowl, JD. I'm already haunted by the imagery. Aaaaanyway, if enough of us bah humbug, then bah humbug will be the normative behavior by virtue of its popularity. Or at the very least, when within a subset of humbugs, such as might occur here, humbug is already normative. You are among a cohort. edit: despite my robust talk, I actually do feel a bit lonesome with thanksgiving looming and no plans of my own. Humbugger it.
    1 point
  25. This may be like the blind leading the blind here, because I have a tendency to do the same thing to my husband of 10 years. One thing that I do know helps with this problem is to let go of your ego a little bit. It may hurt to be called out on something that you've done wrong, but before you react to what she says, take the time to actually think about what she says. Step outside of yourself and look at the actions that led to the argument or the problem. Before it escalates into a shouting match, tell yourself that it's ok to do something wrong. It is not ok to deny that you did something wrong (especially if you know in your truest self that you honestly did). In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter if you did something wrong or not, or she did something wrong or not. What matters the way you react to her expressing her concerns, and her reactions to you expressing yours. Words have a lot of power and you can control your situation by choosing your words carefully. Don't let your hurt ego respond to her concerns, allow your higher self with rational and intuitive thought respond. It will most likely not avoid these situations, but it will help with the aftermath. It is impossible to avoid all problems with your significant other, but it is possible to maintain good communication through an argument. Take heart though, it may be difficult to control your thoughts, but it will help you in the long run. Just remember, if you don't control your thoughts, someone else will do it for you.
    1 point
  26. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, I'm a lot like you were. Old man look at my life, Twenty four and there's so much more Live alone in a paradise That makes me think of two. old man ----- neil young Love lost, such a cost, Give me things that don't get lost. Like a coin that won't get tossed Rolling home to you.
    1 point
  27. Shmooey

    Od..

    Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you had to go back to hospital! I've been thinking of you a very lot, but I figured you were quiet because you needed space, so I didn't want to intrude. I wish I had now. Sending you love. ((((((Brokenme))))))
    1 point
  28. Feeling good today, been out for the day and staying round my boyfriend's for the night.
    1 point
  29. Girly

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    Better than the last few days and got a prescription (script) for zopiclone for 7 days so hope to be able to sleep.
    1 point
  30. Condolences to those feeling down. I wish you all the best. Stay strong :) Today I'm doing ok. It's raining and I'm in a somewhat pleasant sleepy mood. The past few nights have been rough though, so I'm hoping I can have a fulfilling sleep tonight.
    1 point
  31. My strategy is not long-term since I'm unemployed, but I live well beneath my means. No smartphones, no data plans, no cable tv, no going out to eat (including fast food), eating very simple foods (nothing fancy), no unnecessary purchase of anything (no luxury purchases at all), no going out to movies or a bar. Entertainment requires using only the things I already possess. Cheap car, no driving around town, no traveling. No "regular" doctor visits, flu shots and the like, dental, etc etc. I cut my own hair. My furniture is all second hand. Laundry at the cheapo laundromat. Sometimes I wash something in the sink. I use little electricity and very little hot water each month. No pets. edit: fancy food includes any meat, usually. It's rice and beans over here. That's all that comes to mind immediately. Some pdocs have a sliding pay rate, based on income. I prefer to trap my psychiatrist's sympathies before asking about it.
    1 point
  32. SpiralingMind

    Random Thoughts

    As people with mental illness, we must sometimes measure our success differently than our peers.
    1 point
  33. Anxious about the future, but overall I seem to be ok.
    1 point
  34. 1 point
  35. arboria

    How Do You Feel Today #31

    Extraordinarily grateful and loved.
    1 point
  36. Last night I dreamt That somebody loved me No hope,no harm Just another false alarm Last night I felt Real arms around me No hope,no harm Just another false alarm. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me ~The Smiths
    1 point
  37. Put yourself out there and participate in social activities that are based upon things you are interested in- could be church, book club, garden club, dance class, yoga...if you love the activity that will show...you will naturally meet new friends with common interests...and perhaps a spark will flicker...
    1 point
  38. BoneSpur

    Why Don't I Care?

    Blue, I'm sorry to hear of you & your family's pain.... You didn't mention if you have sought-out professional help....could it be that you are Clinically Depressed and don't even know it? That was my case....I had a 40+ yr case of Dysthymic Depression, but waited until my wife said "I just cannot do this anymore." At that point, I went to a Therapist, who ultimately helped me to literally diagnose myself with Dysthymia. I went to my primary care phys who put me on Wellbutrin at the recommendation of my therapist....WOW!!!!! My personality immediately turned around 180 degs w/in 48 hrs.... If you are not under the care of either a Clinical Social Worker or Psychiatrist, please do yourself a favor and seek one out. I also recommend getting your hubby involved in the sessions, as like my wife, he won't really grasp that depression is not just being lazy & unhappy, but a real chemical imbalance in the brain. BTW, you're not being selfish/self-indulgent in seeking-out comraderie/support/recommendations... you are simply trying to get a grasp of how to "right your ship", and I commend that. I really hope you can be brave enough to move in a positive direction. Please let us know how you are doing - CD
    1 point
  39. The more you think about "What if you don't get it back" the more negative emotion you put into it. Whenever I am able to, I like to tell my own inner voice to shut up. Yes, literally, and sometimes, out loud. lol As for "how long can I expect him to stick around". It's not a question of "expectation". You take the time you need for sex with him to be enjoyable for you. If he is the right guy for you he will stick around and work with you. Some guys are more patient than others and it's neither your fault nor his if this becomes a dealbreaker. It's just an incompatibility. At this point in your life there are things you can and cannot give your partner, and the only one who can tell you what to do about it is yourself.
    1 point
  40. Delerium - Silence (From: elyrics) Give me release Witness me I am outside Give me peace Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe That I'd get caught up When the rage in me subsides In this white wave I am sinking In this silence In this white wave In this silence I believe Passion chokes the flower Till she cries no more Possesing all the beauty Hungry still for more Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe That I'd get caught up When the rage in me subsides In this white wave I am sinking In this silence In this white wave In this silence I believe I can't help this loning Comfort me I can't hold it all in If you won't let me Heaven holds a sense of wonder And I wanted to believe That I'd get caught up When the rage in me subsides In this white wave I am sinking In this silence In this white wave In this silence I believe
    1 point
  41. I just started on Cymbalta 30mg in addition to the 300mg of Wellbutrin I was taking. Is it commonplace to feel like a zombie with queasy stomach when first starting Cymbalta? The Wellbutrin is no longing working so my doctor started me on this with the plan of slowly going up to 60 mg while simultaneously weaning off the Wellbutrin. I really hate this zombie feeling. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
    1 point
  42. Nightwish, Last of the Wilds
    1 point
  43. When you cannot trust yourself to make decisions. When you are so obsessed with everything, even your mental health and you have no patience. When someone stares at you ind the public transport and you just wanna jump and smash their face. When you feel anything you say is taken out of context and distorted and you are so tired of hearing the same stupid answers that you start to lie about everything.
    1 point
  44. What are the positive things you can say and do to help someone with depression? Here are some ideas written by someone who has experienced deep depression and been helped greatly by family and friends. 1. Be On Their Side Someone with depression will often get defensive, so an accusatory tone is not helpful. Try to convey a sense of understanding. It isn’t helpful to say “Why can’t you just get out of bed?” Instead try “You seem to have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. What can I do to help you in this area?”The person may have lost perspective on how big a problem actually is. They will find it hard to hear that what is insurmountable for them is actually not such a big deal. It is unhelpful to say “What’s your problem? You’re upset about nothing.” Instead try “You seem to be finding this issue a big deal at the moment. Can we solve it together?”When I was very sick, I often thought that my wife was trying to ruin my life. To counter that kind of thinking she would often say “We are a team. I am on your side.”Depression is an awful illness, a whole world away from pure sympathy-seeking. So you should treat it as such. “I trust you. If you had a choice in the matter you wouldn’t choose to have depression. How about we search for ways to deal with depression together?”2. Give Plenty of Reassurance Many people suffering with depression feel unworthy of being loved. You need to reassure them frequently. For example “I love you for who you are. I am not going to leave you.”In a similar vein, they may have lost the ability to recognize their positive attributes. You might reaffirm them with “You are a sensitive person who cares for others” or “People really love you a lot. They think you’re a great person.”If said repeatedly and with absolute sincerity then it is helpful to say “If you ever need a friend, I am here.”3. Give Understanding and Sympathy Someone with depression can spend a lot of time ruminating on their situation and feeling sorry for themselves. Pointing it out to them is not helpful. Instead, try to sympathize.“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but you have all my sympathy.”“All I want to do is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.”“I can’t honestly say that I know how you feel, but I want to help in any way I can.”4. Offer to Help “Let me do anything you need me to do to help.”If you ask “What is the best thing I can do to help you right now?” don’t be offended if the reply is “Leave me alone”. Helping someone with depression can sometimes mean doing nothing. On the other hand, depression can leave a person feeling incapable of even the simplest tasks. Offering some practical help, like picking up things from the shops, could provide them with great relief.Well meaning people often attempt to immediately fix the problem. “Have you tried aromatherapy? There was an article about it in the paper…” . This kind of comment can come across as trivializing the illness. If you want to introduce a treatment idea, make sure you are respectful about the seriousness of depression. “It’s important that you stay on your medication and keep seeing your doctor. I’ve found some information on aromatherapy. Would you like to look into it with me?”While it is important to accept the person in the state they are in, don’t let it totally consume your life. Otherwise, you’ll fall in a heap and won’t be much help to anyone. You need to take care of yourself. “I am committed to you and to helping you. But I also need to eat / shop / go out for coffee / ring a friend / see a movie to recharge my batteries. Then I can look after you better.”Educate yourself about depression and its treatment. Read everything you can about how it feels to be depressed. It will help to understand why your loved one behaves the way they do. Caring for a depressed person can be very draining. Take some time out to care for your own needs. Give them support and love when they need it. It's okay to feel angry, upset or frustrated. Develop a support system for yourself so you have someone to vent your feelings to. Remember that depressed people can be angry, withdrawn or sad. They may not feel like having sex or doing the things they used to enjoy. This does not mean that they don't love you anymore. It's the illness talking. Normal daily activities like housework, grocery shopping or paying bills can seem overwhelming to a depressed person. You may need to help them out for awhile just as you would if they had any other illness. Remind your loved one of the importance of continuing their treatments. Help them with remembering medications and appointments. One of the most important things depression robs one of is hope. Give them hope in whatever form you can. Let them know that although you are angry with their illness, you will always love them.Tips: The most important thing you can do is just to be there and give them your support. It is not your fault that they are depressed. Depression is an illness. If your loved one becomes suicidal, do not hesitate to contact their physician for assistance.about.com
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  45. Thanx guys its good to get fedback. I am just starting to battle soem self medication. It is gunna be tuff as it is all lefal and has all been used for thousands and thousands of years. For the past three years ive been using herbs and enthnogins. Theas plants can make a dark day bright, and a sad man happy. I have gotten dependant on them and the highs from them cloud the normal highs. The lows are real low. It has gotten to the point that i start each and every day eating leaves from a tree found in asia. Thease leaves are very full of thinngs that make a person feel very u4ic, and energized. I dearly love this plant but it makes my lows lower. I have got to give it up. Im not sure were to start my detox or even when, but i belive kratom has made me more depressed overall. I have also started smoking ciggs after years without them, and that has to go also. I need to sit down and decide what to start on first as the kratom addiction is the same as an opium addiction and hard to kick. Kratom isnt an illeagl drug but it affects the oppiod receptors. I also hav become dependant on internet herbal blends to smoke witch contain some research chemicals that wer developed to replace MJ as a treatment for cancer patiants. I dont know depression and addiction seem to like to hang round each other. Know matter what i kick imma gunna miss it, but i think it messes with my head to much to even recover from depression. That brings up another question, do people recover from depresion or do they just learn to feel so so all the time?
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  46. Hi muffinmama, I think what you're going through is normal. I've been on 20mg of Celexa for about 5 weeks and for the first few weeks it made me feel worse. Side effects plus increased anxiety which just made me more depressed. The most common thing I hear is that it takes 4-6 weeks for these drugs to kick in, but I've had doctors tell me it can sometimes take as long as 8 weeks (not that this will be the case for everyone but it can happen, it's just that people react so differently to AD's that it's impossible to predict). If you're feeling really horrible I think you should talk to your doctor. I know exactly what you're going through and it really sucks. I hope you feel better soon :) After about 4 weeks on Celexa when I was still feeling worse I told my therapist (she's not an MD, I just go to her for talk therapy) about it and she thought that I should talk to my doc.
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