Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/28/2013 in all areas

  1. OK, so I today I just remembered something else that I came across years ago. Maybe it will help someone here. I know it helped me. I was desperately searching for something about celebrity obsessions and just coming across the usual unhelpful articles eg "why having a crush on your fave celeb can be good for you!" or "are you a psychotic stalker?". I don't know where I found it, it was some tiny little webpage, not even a proper discussion board like this if I remember rightly. But it was so long ago in my head its a bit hazy. What I do remember is that someone had asked about feeling too obsessed with someone famous, and how it was impacting on their life. Then one incredibly articulate person said the following: (this is completely paraphrased of course but I just want to get the idea across) Having an obsessive crush on a celebrity is not the best way to honour yourself, or your celebrity. If they met you, would they want to get to know you? Like, seriously know you? While you are having these feelings, and obsessions, are you a well-rounded, fun, generous, healthy individual? Wouldn't you rather be the kind of person anyone (including a celebrity) would want to meet? Focus on making your life the best it can be for yourself. Then, if you happen to meet some random celebrity on the street, great. If you don't, there is absolutely no doubt that your life will be so much more fulfilling on a personal level that you will probably find good opportunities and good people making their way into your life. So. I wish I had copied what this person actually said because it really made me go "wow" at the time. It was a lot more articulate than this. Btw, if anyone has seen this before or knows what I am talking about, let me know! I actually started trying to live that way, and it helped me in trying to get over my guy. I have to admit, I did forget about it after a while, but I just remembered it again so I'm going to give it a go - its almost like making YOURSELF your obsession, instead of the celebrity? Me personally, I've worked hard to get into a new career field, and I'm taking German and Russian language lessions this year, and I'm planning on starting travelling to new places again after a few years of non-travel. I'm doing my best to make new friends to expand my social circle, and I'm trying to exercise every day to stay healthy. I'll keep adding things so my life is busier than it is now and I have less time to mooch over my guy. @Maripapi - setting a goal for the embargo is a good idea, I hadn't thought of that. I'm going to join you on the 3 month term. My start date was yesterday, so come 28 April I'll hopefully look back and be feeling much better and more detached from my guy. (Edited to add: I thought I'd just add that if you do plan to try new things in order to make your own life better, it's probably not the best idea to take up something like kickboxing because you know your celebrity likes kickboxing. If you're trying to enrich your life, try and leave the celebrity completely out of the equation. I have to admit, there have been times I have looked back after an obsession has passed and said "why the hell did I start doing yoga, I hate yoga". Otherwise, your new endeavour will always link you to your celebrity, and he/she will be on your brain while you are doing it. If it happens to be something that you always wanted to do, before you started following your celebrity - then by all means do it, but just maybe be careful and try not to bring the celeb into it.)
    3 points
  2. bh34465

    What Really Bugs You #6

    I don't know if "bugs" is a strong enough word for this, but it angers me when people assume things about others without really knowing them. They ask questions as if they are genuinely interested, but they are really just fishing for info that they can later gossip about. They can know that one is hurting and never sincerely ask how one is doing, or if they can help. They want to be accepted for who they are, but they reject or exclude others for lesser things.
    3 points
  3. YogaMomOf4

    Purpose Of This Blog

    Hi! I'm Michele. I'm a 42-year-old mother of four kids, ages 10, 7, 5, and 3. I have worked in the past as a funeral director and as a medical transcriptionist, but I'm currently staying home to care for my children. I married my high school sweetheart 20 years ago. I'm currently solo-parenting our children Monday through Friday, as my husband, out of financial necessity, has taken a job in a city 300 miles away. He is usually home on the weekends. When my children are older and all in school, I would like to return to the funeral service business, as, having lost all of my family except for my father, I have a special place in my heart for the bereaved. I was diagnosed with depression approximately 15 years ago. I have taken several different antidepressants during this time, as well as having periods where I was not medicated for my depression. With in the last few years, I have accepted the fact that I need to stay on medication, as I am not able to parent effectively when I my depression is untreated, and my children need and deserve a stable mother. Within the last week and a half, I have been started on a new medication, Wellbutrin. This is the first time I have taken an antidepression medication other than an SSRI. Wellbutrin works on Dopamine instead of Serotonin. So far, this has been a blessing: I had been having some severe fatigue and lethargy on Zoloft and this hasn't been a problem on Wellbutrin.I'm hoping that soon I will have enough energy to resume my excersise and yoga practice! I hope to use this blog to journal about my experiences of being a parent while coping with depression.
    2 points
  4. The kid at school who thinks she's a "model" and keeps telling my oldest daughter that her hair, nails, clothing and even EYEBROWS don't look good enough. Chill out, girlie: you're TEN years old -- that's too young to be so obsessed with appearances. Be a kid for a while! And while you're at it, stop criticizing my daughter!!!!
    2 points
  5. Hey Victoria & D-Mama. Guess we're all in the same boat. And for once I don't think this boat is the d** Titanic. This forum and you two especially are a God send right now. I know we'll all make it out. Thhe next several weeks are probably gonna be a b***h but don't forget I'm here if you need a vent buddy.
    2 points
  6. Tailgaters and aggressive drivers.
    2 points
  7. I find that mine is definitely worse in the morning. When I wake up, I'm flooded with all the junk I know is going to be following me all day, what about you?
    1 point
  8. A lot has come together and it's getting me down. I suppose I've come to vent to try to get it out off my system. - going to have medical procedure so I'm on a restricted diet - I tripped over on Sat so am off work today and hobbling around - I discovered a mistake I ad made on Friday at work and was stable abut it, but this morning I'm in pieces about it - getting depressed about not being able to make friends - this I'm feeling a lot from the other wo - when my mother says why not just ask one of your neighbours to help you and I just can't imagine doing it. I NEED to have more friends - I can't keep relying on my parents. (and it would be great to have someone to go the cinema with or just go out) I don't seem to have been able to pull myself up today and just want to die. I'm frightened I might take action as I've been low all day. I know I have a new diagnosis (personality disorder) and I'm finding it hard to deal with, but it means I should get help with making friendships. I just need to hold on as long as I can until that comes through. I didn't realise I was rather desperate until I started writing. I feel safe in bed, but that means I haven't taken out the bin or recycle the papers. Why is this happening to me? Why can't i just disappear? I feel very alone.
    1 point
  9. -- I washed a load of laundry -- Washed dishes -- Made an appt with dog groomer
    1 point
  10. To me it seems very clear you have good chance of having ASD. I highly, highly suggest you look at some vlogs on Youtube for Aspergers and see what you find. The closing doors/windows rituals are a clear give away. The thing is, most neurotypicals want to get married and have kids and is a source of a lot of depression for people. Not that Im downplaying your list or anything.. but the source of your 'searching' could be a disorder which is extrmely hard to 'realize' as you figure you have it all figured out already. If you do have black and white thinking, yours is of another type then what the NT depression sufferer is experiencing as you think in black and white by nature. for NT's its very difficult for us to be trapped in this mindset. So while lists and goals are normal and logical to someone with ASD, they are not to an NT for reasons an ASD will not be able to understand. But yeah id go look at some videos.. Those with ASD are very prone to relationship problems later in life.. They usually have a great younger school life though and are told they are gifted and special. Many will never fully embrace their disorder and unfortunalty ASD the most debilitating mental disorder. ADHD is second. Depression? Meh.. A common 'cold' of the mind that can be fixed... Temporary. ASD/ADHD is there all the time 24/7.. You dont kow life without having it. That's a little too much.... I don't have ASD. No socializing problems of any kind. ASDs thrive on details and I live in the big picture. I suck at details, but i am good at analysis and quite empathetic. I don't like doors because in childhood my mother would often leave us for hours to go to work. She couldn't afford childcare and told us not to open the door to anyone. We also lived in a dangerous neighborhood and gypsies and drunks would often try to break in. My sibling and I would often get scared and we would lock upon all the hinges and prop furniture against the door. By stupid people i mean the one who have no opinion of their own. The ones that follow me mindlessly and agree with my every word. I am not that smart just know how to play the game. I find people irritating especially those who read twilight, think da vinci code is great literature, believe Obama deserved the Nobel (patronizing much?), watch reality TV, ...... desperate to fit in and never say what is on their mind. I know they are just insecure, but how can they be so spineless? I don't avoid relationships its just not my thing. I tried dating girls, guys, bi's open relationships, but they were such a mess. My partners wanted more intimacy and commitment, but I would loose interest. Apparently I am asexual, and as for kids..... I would make a horrible parent, just want to avoid causing more grief. I tend to be somewhat detached and children in early development crave intimacy. Maybe someday I could marry someone with teenagers. Today, many start families in their 30-40 so i figured there no hurry. You know how they say that to change the world you have to start with yourself and take responsibility. Think about what you can do to help? I can't just blame everything on disorders and syndromes. I know some things are out of my control, but its like religion, you can be faithful without becoming a fanatic. I wish i could think in black and white, but i am way too indecisive. My thought process is usually chaotic, so I make lists to create some form or order. It may not work for everyone, but its worth a try. And it is important to keep trying not matter what it is: new food, games, books, movies....keep changing the routine by enriching it. Just keep evolving into someone you want to be and even better. Starting a self revolution by suddenly tackling large goals can be traumatic, so just set up small ones, like making your bed, reading at least 10 p a day, exercise, practice meditation..... And its not always perfect some time you have to go back. When I was a kid i did mu best to become right-handed, I succeed, but became severely dyslexic. It took me ten years and trying all methods to recover. I still reverse numbers occasionally, but it is a huge improvement. My lists kept me going and kept me hones with my self. Sometimes i want to slack of, i m quite lazy, but as soon as I see my notes i know I have to get through the day. These lists are what probably kept me alive. I have dark episodes, when i want to die and put my self in a dangerous situation, but knowing I still have a lot to do reminds me to finish what I started. Sometimes it gets really hard to follow the plan but it is so rewarding when i do. It is important that the list is your plan independent of social approvals, be honest with your self. But also make sure not to become obsessed with the list. Set up specific hours for your routines. I made personal time limits like : no more that 2 hours a week for house cleaning, 2 hours a week for shopping, no less than 10 p a day for reading, 30 min workout each day, no longer than 15 min showers. I spend about 3 hours a day on my list and have the rest for hanging out with friends and other forms of entertainment. Keeping balance is very important. So yogamom and arieos1 dont give up, keep trying new things. Remember life is a journey not a destination, and it wont happen unless you try things. - ink
    1 point
  11. Marie I can relate to not wanting to rely on parents... I dont have many good friends so I'm really close with my parents- Hang in there tomorrow is another day... Things will get better- :) We are here & we care...
    1 point
  12. Psyche58

    Im So Sad

    If you can get the energy, get the heck out of Dodge: meaning, distract yourself and stay off Facebook for a while. It will drive your tormentor crazy to see you haven't even logged in. Some suggestions, read a good book, there are some great new series of books that have just come out; rent a movie that isn't sad; put on music that isn't sad and makes you want to dance; practice some new and outrageous style of makeup by yourself and don't show anyone. Do anything that will take your mind off your current problem. My personal favorite is painting, but if I don't have time for that, I hug a cat. Good luck and I'll be watching to see how you are feeling.
    1 point
  13. Hello itstrever, I think its great what you're doing. Your effort is impressive and almost ironic really given the nature of this condition. We share many similaries in the way by which all of this started for us (prolonged periods of both stress and anxiety leading to depression as well). Unlike you however i still deal with anxiety on a regular basis. Early on anhedonia was my most prominent symptom. It was the reason for my bad moods. I would force my self to do activities in attempt to evoke joy/pleasure however my efforts were to no avail. Consequently, my mood would plummet. Every second of the day was a constant self-evaluation of my joy/pleasure level. I might even consider it obsessive. Understandable really, as I too am an engineer. If there is a problem pertinent to my life, my brain must solve it. So the research began, I remember feeling as though I had become a neurobiologist overnight haha. I also spoke to a university counselor twice. She really wasn't much help. She found my arguments quite logical/rational and so there wasn't much to be said. Today, almost a year since its all started for me, its not really an big issue, though I do have bouts of it - usually during times of high stress (surprise, surprise). For me, and i'm not saying its the same for you, but constantly trying to evoke or force happiness upon myself was kept me from enjoying whatever it was that I was doing. It kept me from being "in the moment" or achieving "flow." (You should check out Csikszentmihaly's flow model if you haven't already. You might find it interesting) I, however, cannot deny that there are physiological apsects to the condition as I know from personal experience. I am also not saying that it is entirely impossible for one to experience anhedonia for purely physiological reasons. What I will say is that it is my belief that my anhedonia was initially triggered by physiological chemical imbalances, however it was being perpetuated and maybe even exasperated by my psychological obsession in trying to fix it. Only after a long, long time, my brain finally gave up. I stopped caring if something was fun or not and just did it. And guess what happened. I had fun. It never seems to last for keep me in a good mood for long, but I thinks thats just the depression. Also, my expection of what happiness really was, was unrealistic. Of course now I see how irrational it was, but I almost expected mild euphoria. I finally discovered happiness was less of a feeling and more a mental construct and sense of well-being (again this is all of course subjective). Once I lowered my expectations of what happiness was, I found it made things more enjoyable. So something to keep in mind. There are certainly some differences between your situation and mine, but I do think it is possible that what you're doing might be counterproductive. You might be looking in the wrong places,andI think at a minimum you shouldn't rule out the idea of this being more psycholgoical than you might think. Nonetheless, and this somewhat contradictory to what I just said, I think what you're doing is great is going to help so many people. Your seemingly unrelentless drive can only be good for all those suffering from anhedonia in the. Best wishes, and let me know if you have any questions. :) KCDubs Also I never took meds so maybe the meds are having some effect as well. I'm sure you've already considered that but just a thought.
    1 point
  14. You need to start loving yourself so you can start getting yourself in a better position. Sure it might be nice to talk to this girl online but in the meantime I would encourage you to start looking after yourself. You will know what you need to do to get back on your feet but from your post I get the feeling you basically hate yourself and are talking to this girl to make yourself feel better. Going from hating yourself to loving yourself is a long process and takes time but it is worth it. It really is only achieved little by little. Since you have said you have lost everything the first thing to do would be to start getting into a small routine. It might be getting up everyday at the same time, going for a 30 minute walk and cooking some healthy meals. Best of luck.
    1 point
  15. This one's from work: Micromanagers who insist on controlling my project, even though they're not involved in the project or in the same department. I mean...why?! Does this guy not have enough to do? If that's the case, then I have plenty I can delegate to him.
    1 point
  16. malfoy25

    Im So Sad

    Maybe you should try to just make a new account and keep away from those situations.
    1 point
  17. Trace

    What Really Bugs You #6

    My one neighbour. Her kids are bullies and I confronted them and her about it yesterday, so she swore at me Now I know where her kids get it from.
    1 point
  18. I feel alright. Had a wonderful evening last night.
    1 point
  19. Hi again computer boy, Im not sure what any of this will mean to you but I have to give my best. Even though we have never met I want to say I love you like a brother would. If I could see you face to face I'd want to walk with you for ever long as we needed to. Im sorry that you feel so bad. We are all just human Its how we were born. I sure dont remember agreeing to the pain and suffereing that we go through. Even though the pain and mistakes seem so real millions of people surrounding us go through things equally as horrendious. I dont know exactly how you feel but I care about you and want you to know that you are valued. My mom died when I was 20 I am 29 now. She had a long and drawn out death of cancer. A day before she went to the hospital for the last time we had a big fight over how she knew that I was doing illegal drugs. That was the last conversation that I had with her. For years I hated myself and did all within my power to end my life. I thought that I caused her death and hated myself deeply. I very much felt a shadow fall over me during this time whos only concern was my destruction. With much effort, surrender, and faith I was able to be reborn and that phantom now is no longer there. What I mean to say is there is hope and if all your hope is gone, you have to find help from a power greater than oneself. The world probably seems meaningless right now so tell God about it and ask him for guidance. I encourage you to find a person to talk to. If you can find a religious teacher, or an elder sitting in a store, even playing with children can bring you joy, talk to a doggy, read the book of psalms, throw some rocks, and if at all possible find a doctor who can prescribe you some medication. It can help you feel so much better and help your mind calm down. Just for today, Randy
    1 point
  20. My therapist and the freedom to choose my own path in life.
    1 point
  21. I finally meditated, using guided meditation and dolphin sounds. It was one of my new years resolutions and I finally found the time. I also finished defrosting and cleaning my fridge and it´s like brand new. :)
    1 point
  22. Okay, this might be grasping at straws in order to turn a bad situation into a positive one, but I am thankful for finding out which are really good friends, and which are fair-weathered friends. It was a hurtful revelation, and it did cause me to be depressed, but I am thankful that I didn't invest too much time into them. I am thankful for some new acquaintances who are potential friends. I am thankful for those who are or have been in my life who truly loved me and cared for me.
    1 point
  23. Aoibh

    Believe In God?

    Yes I do, though I'm agnostic. I believe there's some sort of power that is greater than us humans that we can interact with. I have no idea how to define it despite years of thought and research. It's so nebulous that it can't be described. Neither this nor that, but whatever you personally need It to be?..... I'm a particular fan of eastern religions and find the idea of divinity in nature makes great sense to me. Btw, great discussion going on here- love this part of DF!
    1 point
  24. everythingisgood

    Dating Sucks

    I understand so much of what is said here and I cant help but empathize with the challanges. There is nothing like the feeling when she says, " I decided to get back with my Ex." and I think "What did I do wrong?" The funny thing is I will probably never know. Sometimes I think the problem us guys have is we always try to be the perfect dude. Yet when we tell people we are not perfect we feel ashamed of ourselves because we could not live up to the projection we made of ourselves. This crushes us with self pity "Why cant I have more money? Why wont girls be attracted to me? Why wasnt I made like a greek god? Why do I have to have depression? ect." These sort off thoughts still move through my head. Though for some reason deep in my heart I know they are all crap. They are all lies. My agreement with their reality is what gives them power to persist. I would suggest that for now on you dont tell a girl if you have different psychological challenges. It may seem stupid not to say anything maybe it is but when it comes down to it when you are with her what does any of that stuff have to do with anything anyways. I totally understand why we tell them (God knows I have). Because if someone will accept me unconditionally than I can too. Then if we meet someone who does accept us unconditionally or disease just seems to be erased instantly. The hard part is that mose people dont love unconditionally and we cant blame them for freaking out about it. Sometimes I think we can use it as a get out of jail free card, if I tell her I have depression and if I become withdrawn she will understand it is my depression so it makes any behaviour ok. Thats why I say dont tell her about it. You could even look at it as, "what if all what Im saying is just a lie that I have become convinced of." I mean seriously consider this. If you find that it could be a lie why would I want to lie to her about it. If you think all this is bs thats ok because from some positions it is. I just want to offer a new way to look at it. This stuff makes no sense if depression is all that we remember and if we are really in it sometimes the walls are solid.
    1 point
  25. Another thing I have been trying since this year started is to treat myself better. I know I have an issue with self esteem, so I'm working on correcting that. I'm doing things for myself that make me feel good, eg wearing my best sets of underwear, lighting my fancy French scented candle when I feel like it, putting on a nice nail polish every now and then, using the limited edition perfume I had been saving for 'special occasions'. And I think from now on when I get down about things, or I feel I want to drift off into a fantasy to try and bring those 'good feelings' back, instead I'll force myself to do something nice for myself so I'm not getting mired down in the fantasy life. The list of reasons why it wouldn't work is a good idea, I might just write one of my own! I always went through it in my head but perhaps putting it all together on paper may have more impact. Though I've always accepted the fact that I have no chance and it would not work even if I did, what I have trouble accepting is the extreme emotions I experience both towards him and his new wife. It's like my head knows what is happening but my body believes I have some relationship with him and goes through all the physical symptoms that brings, including heartbreak over him loving someone else. It's exhausting. The embargo idea is the only way forward I find, I tick each day I've resisted off my calendar to see as a sign of my strength when I'm feeling especially low. I've been on an embargo since 14th January and it feels like a well-trodden path to me but I want to get further down it than I have before. The longest I've managed to keep him out of my life was around 10 weeks. I'm aiming for at least 3 months this time. For each month I get through I'm going to buy myself a gift, or do something else nice for myself. I recommend this to you ladies also as recognition of your determination and strength! Month 1 will be marked by a nice perfume for me! My best wishes to you all x
    1 point
  26. Yep I just unbookmarked my favourite gossip sites too! I'll really miss D-Listed, because to be honest I don't care about other celebrity gossip in general at all, but I just loved that sites snarky, funny take on celeb stories. But my guy is occasionally on there in a story, so its just gotta go. I'm also going to do something I have done in the past that was somewhat helpful: write a list of the things that I don't like about the guy, and reasons why we would never be a compatible match. I did it before and hid it away in a drawer because I guess I was afraid of someone finding it and asking me what the heck it was! But I'll keep it more on hand this time, because it helps to put a 'barrier' between my and the guy, eg: he smokes; his life is too busy for a proper relationship etc. Another thing I have been trying since this year started is to treat myself better. I know I have an issue with self esteem, so I'm working on correcting that. I'm doing things for myself that make me feel good, eg wearing my best sets of underwear, lighting my fancy French scented candle when I feel like it, putting on a nice nail polish every now and then, using the limited edition perfume I had been saving for 'special occasions'. And I think from now on when I get down about things, or I feel I want to drift off into a fantasy to try and bring those 'good feelings' back, instead I'll force myself to do something nice for myself so I'm not getting mired down in the fantasy life.
    1 point
  27. Why nothing ever goes my way, and why I can't escape from my thoughts.
    1 point
  28. That even though I went to my favorite restaurant for lunch today and was sorely tempted, I didn't overeat.
    1 point
  29. agreed. you are intelligent, talented, and kind. I really hope you get better and wish you the absolute best in the future.
    1 point
  30. Hi Jsnitz, You are not alone. You describe so well feelings and thoughts I have experienced. Depression has been linked to disease pathology in the brain in some cases. One part of the brain in particular appears to atrophy [waste away] in depression and this wasting away can represent a volumetric loss of as much as 20% of the total volume of this crucial brain area in serious, long-standing depressions. Another study has linked even a family history of depression with a thinning of the outer surface of the brain, a thinning that can represent a 28% loss. Now these are preliminary studies and subject to validation or invalidation by further studies and discoveries. But if these studies are validated, you can see how the brain is really suffering during depression and why you can feel so strange and so bad. Antidepressants have been linked to a reversal of this atrophy in some cases. But this takes time. Progress isn't linear. There are ups and downs during the slow recovery. Are you seeing weekly progress? Monthly progress? This is an illness and not your fault. It is important to be good to your brain while it is suffering so. Is there anything in your past, present or future that you are being very harsh on yourself about? I find myself mentally beating myself up over things and treating small matters as life-and-death situations. Depression is often linked with a very brutal sense of conscience, a conscience that doesn't just gently correct a person but one which viciously criticizes and brutalizes a person. A person can have a seemingly idylic life and yet be brutalized by an overly harsh and intemperate conscience. Sometimes we can over-value abstract ideals and undervalue our self. I was raised to be a perfectionist and I can mentally beat myself up over many things: not being the ideal son, ideal friend, ideal student, ideal male, ideal popular and successful person, ideal companion, ideal hard worker . . . so many many things. You might want to consider whether your brain is loaded down with any unrealistic or perfectionistic ideals. These can cause great stress on the brain and stress has been linked to depression. Of course I am not you. And I do not have your depression. Your doc is your best ally. He or she can adjust the dosage of your meds and do other things to help you. If my advice has not been helpful, please substitute my best wishes for your recovery in place of my unhelpful advice. I have overcome very serious depressions and regained the joy of life again. Please do not lose hope. All good things to you!!!
    1 point
  31. I go/went to a doctor who loves to prescribe meds. No matter what I go in for she puts me on a new med. (I'm convinced she gets money from the pharmaceutical companies for hookiing more people onto these meds whether they need it or not.) I decided to take things into my own hands. I'm trying to get myself off Pristiq. I have been off it for one week. I can't think, my head is making strange sounds, I can't remember anything, I'm dizzy, I'm hot, I'm cold.......I had PMS for God's sake, that's all!! And now I am trapped in this horrible reality of chemical dependency Reading other people's posts has helped me to understand that this could take a while. I've made an appt with a Naturopath. I'm going to get off all these chemicals and reclaim my life. Thank you to all who are traveling this road with me and are posting.
    1 point
  32. cooked some chicken tenderloins and made a nice sandwich for dinner took a walk to relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling boiled some eggs so that I could have them for breakfast tomorrow
    1 point
  33. That people always want to know what you do, rather than who you are.
    1 point
  34. Welcome Couldbeworse! I'm 57 years old and did not accept that I had Mental Illness until I was 50! I suffered terribly until then. Now I'm on meds and am trying to take care of myself. It's never too late to look at yourself and say "OK, I have a problem, and I"m going to get help!" You have to keep trying over and over to help yourself. We are here to help you while you are doing that. We understand because we suffer depression too! I'm so glad you found us!!
    1 point
  35. For me, the very first thing is having a good and insightful psychologist, to whom I can talk honestly about my issues, without having to be afraid of being judged or scolded. She's also able to present me some new points of view I've never even tought about on a conscious level, but they make lots of sense when I start to think about them. Therefore it's quite crucial for my well-being and personal improvement. Another essential factor is people I can share thoughts with, either friends or peers. I am very happy I finally found my way here, as peer support is really invaluable. Most people don't understand the nature of depression unless they've experienced it themselves, and that's why they aren't always able to relate our problems, or even able to sympathize us. In addition, I find it kind of relieving that I can express myself here in my second language. Sometimes expressing your most delicate thoughts can feel a bit too intense and even intimidating in your native language, so by using a second language you're able to take a healthy distance to your ongoing issues, and therefore talking about them is so much easier. As I'm single and often go for weeks without physical contact with other people, I find that doing something that makes me feel good physically is important. I lie on my Shakti Mat several times a day and self-pleasuring is important too. The latter is also great cardiovascular exercise, though in general I perhaps should do more physical exercise than I'm currently doing. Good personal hygiene helps me feel healthier, and brushing my teeth, taking a shower and changing clothes do almost miracles. I try to eat healthily but as I don't always, taking different kinds of supplements is important. Currently I'm taking Vitamin B complex and fish oil capsules, and I aim to take a dose of both every day. I also try to eat foods with lots of vitamins B and D. Milk is my absolute 'mood food'! Besides, I avoid drinking too much coffee and am seriously cutting back my alcohol consumption. Tea makes me feel more balanced and in case I fancy something fizzy, Pepsi Max is a better alternative for booze. If I'm functional enough, I like to help my friends, lend an ear to them if they're having rough times and in some cases give them advice and seek solutions with them if they wish. Helping others makes me feel I exist for a reason, and it helps me to concentrate on others instead of getting stuck on the Me, Myself and I gear. I think that it is very healthy and helps me to put things into perspective. And of course there are the little joys in life: engaging in humor, good music, books and movies, cuddling cats and other pets every time I have a chance, eating out in my favorite restaurant every time I can afford it, watching handsome policemen patrolling in the streets, not having to wake up at 6 a.m. etc. Sometimes it's so easy to forget them, especially when going thru a draining episode in life, but I try to notice and enjoy them to the fullest.
    1 point
  36. People who ignore me.
    1 point
  37. I'm from Finland and we don't spend thanks giving day in here, but of course I can tell what I'm thankfull for. I'm thankfull for my comfy bed and the good music I have to listen. These days haven't been much else to be too cheery about.
    1 point
  38. Food, shelter, love.
    1 point
  39. I'm thankful for classical music. It breaks me down to tears, calms me down, wakes me up, and gives me hope. It occupies my mind when bad thoughts come in, makes me forget time. And then, all that matters is music. Words are meaningless. I'm also thankful for my piano and talent to play it. I may not have any talent to write music myself, but I'm glad I'm able to play what I want to play (most of the time). What I play may not be mine, but the emotions the listener hears are. It's my interpretation. It still is something personal.
    1 point
  40. Mark...if you're still here at DF, I want you to know that this is a New Year. Try to make it about YOU, a year where you can try to take control of your life and leave this girl in the past. Megan is right. Staying in contact with Tegan will only make things more difficult...you will get nowhere and accomplish nothing if you continue to talk to her. One of the first steps I took in trying to heal from my abusive relationship with my ex was deleting him from a social networking site. He asked me about it at the time, but I knew it was for the best. I also forced myself to limit my phone calls to him until we had no contact at all anymore. And under no circumstances would I drive to his home or visit places where I knew he would most likely be. She may or may not return your things. If they are items that can be easily replaced, replace them. If not, you can always contact the authorities. As to her playing the victim...like I said before, my ex did/still does that. He went around telling people I was a bad person and they all believed him. It hurt, but I know the truth about myself and I know that despite what he says, I am not a bad person. Tegan is only doing this because she wants to hurt you. Your drinking is only harming YOU. It has no effect on her. I understand the need to numb yourself and to "self-medicate" from the pain because I did just that when I was at my lowest point, but trust me...this isn't the way to get over her. She will only continue living her life while you are harming yourself. Why not show her that you will find somebody new, a woman who is far better than she is? You can't possibly heal if you continue on this path of self-destruction. Drinking on a daily basis will destroy you from the inside out. It could even cost you your life. I shared my story with you about my ex...after he decided our relationship was over, he continued to twist the knife in deeper by saying/doing some very cruel things. It was horrible. Then he picked up with this girl, had a baby with her, and she was also trying to hurt me by posting pictures of them together all the time. I cried my eyes out last year when I found out about the baby. Never mind that I'm married...it's just that all these memories came back. It broke my heart. I didn't want to live anymore. But I'm still here, and no matter what, I will NOT allow him to hurt me anymore. Not his family, not his friends, not the memories of him and our relationship and what could have been. I made the decision to not let him or thoughts of him rule my life anymore. This is what you need to do as well. Try to start over with a clean slate, work on sobriety, and find constructive ways of healing because drinking is NOT the answer. Her liver won't suffer but yours will, if you keep this up. You are intelligent, you are kind, and this is a New Year. You've been through a lot but you can still find some light in the darkness.
    1 point
  41. Inaccurate documentaries produced to frighten people. I refer to the documentary about my country, Life on Fire. And no, it is not about to blow up any second now. There may be volcanoes from time to time, but most of the volcanoes referred to in the documentary are so old they are scarcely active. We know who our active volconaoes are and we know how to react when they erupt.
    1 point
  42. 1 point
  43. 1 point
  44. that I am so used to the 'like' button that I subconsciously try to find it in places where there isn't one..
    1 point
  45. repeated tv commercials on life insurance, funeral insurance, all day long
    1 point
  46. my absolute weakness in dealing with my emotions and telling people how I really feel, especially if I am hurt by what they say. The way I always sweept things under the carpet and carry on as normal - except in my subconscious it all stores up and has changed me from the person I used to be into this.
    1 point
  47. impatient drivers tailgating and swerving across lanes to make a two car gain
    1 point
  48. If this situation were me I would brush up my resume start looking for new jobs while staying at the old one. Interviewing for jobs while still employed actually makes you desirable. You can do this Tigger! A job of your dreams is out there waiting for you!
    1 point
  49. I'm just really glad I found this site!!! I think Depression Forums was listed as #1 on the page when I did my search on Google over 2 years ago. MEZ
    1 point
×
×
  • Create New...