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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/17/2012 in all areas

  1. 4 points

    Just Want To Say Thank You!

    Hi, I am not sure where to post this, but hopefully this is the right place. If not I apologize. I spent the past 5 years of my life dealing with depression, anxiety, OCD, and feeling suicidal because the medications I was previously taking stopped working. During this time I don't know how I managed to somehow work part-time, and go to college part-time. I guess I was hiding everything and somehow pushed myself because I didn't want my parents to see me hurting. Like many of you know this is not easy. I tried almost all AD's (with barely any results), lost many friends along the way, got hospitalized a bunch of times, and the list goes on...Fortunately, I am currently on the right path, and no longer depressed. Anyway, last night I was looking at the old posts I wrote on this site when I was depressed, and I wanted to cry. I can't believe how miserable depression can make you feel. I can't believe what I was writing and how I felt. Now that my depression is gone I find it hard to believe that I would ever think in such ways. But I want to personally thank everyone who replied to my posts and gave me courage to remain alive. It was very comforting to have complete strangers (who deal with mental illness and understand it firsthand) care for me when people in my life did not. I think DF is a great site, and I have gotten some great advice on here (sometimes even better than advice doctors have given me). For those who are struggling to find a cure, please fight with all you've got. Do it for yourself. Trust me, someday it will all pay off. I know it's easier said than done. I hated hearing people telling me to be patient and not give up, but I somehow held on and now I will be able to help others who were in my situation. Thank you DF for existing.
  2. 2 points

    Dark Night Of The Soul

    This is something I came across when looking for information on "spiritual crisis," which I basically have been in the past year+. It turns out there are many interesting sources for this experience. I am not religious, but spiritual, but some of these sources are great. It's comforted me to know there are many who have been in this place throughout history. There is a poem by Saint John of the Cross with this title. Excerpt: http://en.wikipedia....ght_of_the_Soul Psalm 88 is actually about deep depression. It's actually really good and I think helpful for those in depression to realize even figures in the Bible felt despair and alone. Excerpt: Doesn't that about perfectly describe someone in the depths of depression?
  3. 2 points

    How Do You Feel Today #27

    A little tired but I am feeling well :)
  4. 2 points

    Dealing With Regrets

    Hi JBenji, I also struggle with regrets and I am almost 60 years old. One thing that helps me is this: It is very rare that we set out to intentionally make a mistake. I don't go out in the morning and say" "Ok, I'm going to mess this up really badly" or "I'm going to go out today and do the wrong thing." Human beings are complex. We do not have infinite freedom. We are not all seeing and all knowing. We are not totally above our natural tendencies, the weight of our upbringing and educations. We are not totally unaffected by our desires and fears. Fear, especially can be a power force. So although we do not always do "our best", I think we often do the very best we can at a particular time given everything that is influencing us at that time. Later, in retrospect, we can go back and say: "Oh, I shouldn't have done that," or "Oh, I should have done that." But that is after the fact, after we have learned from our mistakes. And in being human it is very often only by mistakes that we learn things sometimes. Who was it who said: Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. I think it was Mark Twain. It is easy to get caught up in regrets. But the person who made the mistake in the past is no longer us completely. I am not the same as I was when I was 15, 25, 35, 45. So it helps me to always remember that I always try to do the best to survive and serve my needs "given everything influencing me at the time." That way I can stop beating myself up mentally over the past. The past is literally gone. It is no more accept as memories. It is impossible to go back and fix things [at least if Einstein is correct]. So we make mistakes. We learn. We go on. Another thing about regrets is that since they focus us on the past all the time, we miss the present, the real time, the only time that really exists fully. And since we cannot "live" in the past that means that we give up the only time we can live in and substitute imagination and memory for living and reality. We can imagine the past and remember it. We can in imagination do "what if," but only in imagination. Then we end up missing out on the present. And that can be very sad. I don't know if any of this will be helpful or of use to you, but I am just putting it out there for your consideration. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful JBenji!!!
  5. 2 points

    How Do You Feel Today #27

    AMAZING!!!! And that's not usually a word in my vocabulary :)
  6. 2 points

    What Do You Want To Do Right Now?

    I want some friends that I can go hang out with instead of sitting at home.....
  7. 1 point

    Name Something You Do Well!

    Having depression often makes people think very negative thoughts about myself, how I don't think I'm good at anything, etc. I want to challenge that. Please post with at least one thing you are good at or like about yourself. You can absolutely post more than one thing! You can make multiple posts if you think of something else! And no posting you aren't good at anything, as tempting as that might be. I KNOW that everyone had good qualities about them, it's just the depression hiding it from you! I believe in you!! As for me, I think I have a lot of empathy, so I can relate to people easily even if I don't agree with them. I also like the color of my eyes, am an illustrator, can handbind a book, and make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies.
  8. 1 point

    Moving Forwards

    Hey DF, I've been doing a lot better recently. I'm sleeping better than ever, eating *pretty* well, and I'm having a better time of pushing away negative thoughts that I normally ruminate over, and over, and over again. I'm having an easier time pushing away bad feelings then I can remember ever being able to do in years, especially months, prior. My Anhedonia has all but disappeared and I'm once again enjoying things that seemed impossible to enjoy ever again. I've read two books in the last week and I've discovered I really enjoy playing strategy games- it's nice to have something fun to pass the time instead of the same old routine I've been following for long stretches at a time. I'm still unemployed. I'm still broke and in debt. I'm still often struggling with the depressed presence in my mind - but I feel like I've gained the upper hand in this never ending battle, and now that the depression has slipped up and lost its place of dominion I have a strong advantage over it. I'm going back to community college (again) to work on my studies. I've crashed and burned about five times now, but maybe this time I'll do just that little bit better - hopefully a lot better. I know better than to think "I'm finally cured" especially when I can still feel "depression" even now, but I do feel better. And well, I just wanted to report that on here. I have too many downbeat and downright insane posts on this website, it's about time I tilt the balance. Life isn't perfect, but I wouldn't willingly trade it for the opposite number any time soon. ^_^
  9. 1 point

    Things Will Get Better

    Hey, I just thought I would post this from a sudden inspiration. I can't really put into words what I've realized just now.. It's almost like the heavy depression and anxiety I've had is beginning to vapour away. I've pondered and analyzed, tried hard to control the negative experiences and the painful feelings I've had. I've been thinking why I haven't got any friends, why I am lonely. I've come up with numerous reasons, like low self-esteem, depression, my stupidity, my own mistakes with people and so on. The more I think about the condition I have, the less I can actually name it or concretize it. These things have happened for whatever reason, but not over something I could have predicted or even very actively affected. In the end I can only know that I have been given these experiences, for some reason which I can perhaps never know. I just had to go through this. This had to happen. I hope by this post I can give even a brief peace of mind to someone on these awsome forums. This forum has been priceless to me, filled with so much human emotion and loving, hearty people. I'm leaving the forums, but I will come in every now and then. I hope you all find what you're looking for. For me, learning to let go has been the most valuable lesson. Everybody have a nice summer and enjoy yourself, seize the moment and let go.
  10. 1 point

    What Are You Reading?

    Does anyone have a goodreads account? Do share, please
  11. 1 point
    It might be cliche...but "Knowledge is power". The more you educate your self on your condition, the better you can deal with it ;) And also...there is no stupid questions, only stupid answers :P
  12. 1 point

    How Do You Feel Today #27

    thank you, broken girl for the inspiration. I feel like my head is full of cotton AND I am looking forward to the day. So helpful to remember that I can feel this AND that.
  13. 1 point

    Just Want To Say Thank You!

    I'm happy to hear that you're no longer depressed. Reading this topic just makes me hope that I can beat all of this someday. I'll use this to inspire me! Good luck with everything!
  14. 1 point

    Bomb Shell

    Because you're having a normal reaction, I think. And you shouldn't have to apologize for it. If anything, I think it's wonderful you were honest as you were, and I'm not just saying that. From what you've written here, it doesn't sound like your partner is being totally fair. You have legitimate mental concerns between your illness and wondering what it will be like having someone else you don't know well in your space all the time. I know if it were me, I'd wonder if we were even compatible. I need my haven, my quiet space, and if you told me a relative stranger was going to come live in it, I'd worry too. I'd worry about being judged, being invaded, not being able to be myself in my own home. Things like that. It's not fair to you if your partner doesn't understand that. It's not like you said you're leaving, you said you were going to give it your best, and that's all anyone can ever ask of you. When it comes to your home, you should never have to suck it up. That's your space in the world where it should feel right. 15 is a very in-your-face age. You're not this girl's mother and she may be challenging because of that. You already know why she's coming to stay with you, and that means she will likely be rebellious with you as well. I also see where you'd be worried she will judge you. You asked us not to judge the age difference between you and Phil (and I'm not) but maybe she will. That's a valid concern. You've been in this relationship for four years and now there will be a huge challenge dropped in your lap. I think your answer was a good one. "I don't want to leave," but you also acknowledged that it's going to take adjusting. You're going into it with the right mindset. You never said you were closing her out before she got there, but it's true that there will be challenges. Spot on, and good for you for putting it out there as it should be.
  15. 1 point

    Cymbalta And Extreme Fatigue

    Hi woman32denmark, So glad your going well without the cymbalta and have some energy back! I just found out I have severe obstructive sleep apnea which is why I am always tired and my meds never work! Hopefully once I get this sorted out I can reduce my meds and start to actually live my life. It's unreal all the health problems sleep apnea causes if my friend had not have mentioned it to me I would have never requested a sleep test. Searching for answers
  16. 1 point

    It Ruined My Day.

    Thanks for the advice, Megan286. I didn't know where to connect the pendrive in a classroom's computer so these folks were throwing "funny" remarks based on that episode. I don't know, i'm always really nervous in social situations, and generally i just want to get away the faster i can. So when "name calling" starts i can't think straight to be able to fight back. It is rare when i manage to succeed fighting back. I'm depressed for years and never took any medications or went to see doctors about that. I tend to drink a lot, on weekends, and i'm trying to stop. I think depression has a lot to do with my drinking. Strangely, i wasn't bullied in my childhood. That started later, when i was like eighteen and my viewpoints about the world were gaining form, making myself a very different person. I agree with you, i should let them have it right back in their face. I was reading something you wrote, and i agree, once more, that you should not run late at night. =) Who knows what these "van guys" are up to. lol
  17. 1 point


    Glad you finally had your pdoc appt and I hope the change in meds will help you see a bit more of that light we all so desperately seek. Take care of yourself and good luck with the therapist ((((((big hugs))))))
  18. 1 point
    1. I wrote a lot for my blog for the first time in a while. I can't decide whether that's constructive or not, but it was still fun. 2. Watched some more Breaking Bad, with a big bowl of popcorn just for me. 3. Went to Coventry for the first time in months, and it helped cheer me up. I got a great milkshake, a $1 album, and a small Dostoevsky book for $3.50. More than that I hid an Altoids tin with an inspirational quote in it down in the basement, on a nicely covered little table. I left instructions to add a quote and leave it for someone else to find. The first quote was actually my signature...one of my favorites. I hope it catches on...probably not. But it might because the people around there are pretty cool...that's why I've been holding onto the tin for so long, it seems like the only proper place to put it.
  19. 1 point

    Started Pristiq 3 Days Ago

    I've just made the switch from Lexapro to Pristiq, been on Pristiq for 1 week now. I seem to have servere dizziness/floating head every other day, today being one of the bad ones. My mood though seems to be improved in general just hate this floating feeling.
  20. 1 point
    Hi Kylie! I'm just kind of browsing this site because I feel so d*** bad and it helps me to take a look around and see how other people are doing and what they're going through. In my way, I understand how you must be feeling. I remember being so crazy in love over this guy who was so gorgeous! At that time I was not permitted to date and he was in his twenties and I was about 15. He was so good looking with his black hair combed back and sneaky, sexy brown eyes and full lips. He reminded me of a young Elvis Presley. But several things were not in my favor. My parents said I was too young to date and not him. Why? Guess. Yep! He was married and had two beautiful children but his wife divorced him for fooling around. Do you think I cared? Hell no! I'd sneak off to be with him and I started lying to my parents and ditching school. Of course my parents found out and sent me to live with my grandma about 300 miles away! I was so heartbroken! At that time, they didn't want me to get pregnant by a guy who fooled around with a lot of girls besides me. You know I didn't care about that either. I just wanted to be with him. Yes, I was devastated and cried til I could cry no more or until my nose got so stuffy that I had to stop. Everyday was torture and heartbreak for me. To make matters worse, he was my brothers best friend and came over all the time til I got sent away. I look back now and wonder why I was so silly. I didn't think I was at the time but now I do. How did I get through it? My grandma. She was so cool and funny! She taught me how to fish and how to plant and how to work. One of the greatest gifts she gave me was how to read people. I guess you could call her a natural psychic. She knew all about the heart of a person just by looking at them. She knew when the phone was going to ring and who was calling. She knew when someone was coming over. And the weather? She was right on target with her predictions. When she prayed for someone, it seemed to help them. Like the Lord heard her prayers. She was amazing because she never finished the third grade. Getting away from the fool guy was one of the best moves for me. I know it hurts like hell but its going to take time. You have the power to change and move on but only you will know when you're ready to do that. But know what? I already know you will. I, too, will say prayers for you....L.
  21. 1 point

    Hyperactivity In Public?

    If you've been holed up in your house or apartment for a period of time, the going outside can chage or mood. I think being out in natural sunlight gives us a boost in our mood. I know it does to me. I put all the hyper activity doing something I like outdoors. I prefer being out when the sun is shining. Sheepwoman
  22. 1 point
    Squid hime

    How Can I Love Me,

    I wish I could give some positive advice, but I'm just really not that great at making people feel better about stuff. I also don't really have the experience because I'm pretty young so I can't say I understand what you're going through. I just really hope things start getting better for you at some point in the near future. I can say that I truly understand what it's like to wonder who you exist and that you're definitely not worth it, but that's not true at all, and I really hope you have people in your life to tell you that and make you still think that. Either way, I'm really sorry that I can't help more, I hope you find that special somebody one day! ;u; Abby
  23. 1 point

    How Do You Feel Today #27

    Sending you all who are not feeling good hugs. Tomorrow is another day. I feel quite good today. And the sun is shining at 9:15 PM.
  24. 1 point
    Hi Kylie Welcome to DF, it is good that you have found us here as this is a very supportive and encouraging site. Breakups can be very difficult, particularly your first relationship as these are all new feelings and thoughts that you are going through I know this may sound trite but honestly these thoughts will diminish in time, they really will. If you can try and talk to your Mom or one of your sisters about how you are feeling as I am sure they are concerns and care very much about you. If you can it may be a good idea not to contact this guy again and if he contact you to ignore his texts. This is a really, really difficult thing to do I know but in time you will be able to move on and it will be easier to do so without him tugging your heartstrings each time he contacts you. I hope you keep posting on here, take good care, Girly
  25. 1 point
    Hi Kylie, and welcome. Honestly, the things that you are talking about sound an awful lot like grief to me! The nausea, not eating, panic attacks (I think what you described as happening was a panic attack ... I'm no doctor, just saying). First off - it IS a big deal when it is your first love! So please don't think that you don't have a "right" to feel bad or whatever. My advice...first and foremost, stop talking to him. Totally. No texting, nothing. Delete him off your phone, off your facebook, whatever else. Secondly, I think its great and healthy that you're "feeling your feelings" if that makes sense. I would maybe keep a journal (I have kept a journal for ages so its pretty second nature to me, but I know it can be difficult for others). But honestly, it takes time. Sucks to say, I know. But it takes time to get over this. Eventually you'll be like "I can't believe I was so crazy over that guy!" :) Lots of cyber hugs!!
  26. 1 point


    People suck... I hope things get better for you real soon.
  27. 1 point

    Hyperactivity In Public?

    I have the same thing from time to time. I thought I was the only one.
  28. 1 point

    Hyperactivity In Public?

    I'm glad to see that you are feeling a bit better. I can relate certainly to the sharp anger more than anything, and I sometimes have a fear that I am going to harm someone or at least start yelling or something (this hasn't happened, though, so that's good!).
  29. 1 point


    I'm sorry. I hope things get better
  30. 1 point


    Hey Mark! I'm sorry things have gotten so bad for you! :-( I understand about the bullying at work as well, I actually had to step down to a lesser job to get away from my bully. I am really keeping my fingers crossed that your new and stronger med will make a difference. Mark, you still have a light at the end of your tunnel, even if it's only a speck. It is there every little inch you move towards it is a huge victory for you. I know it seems so unfair that life is so much harder for those of us that suffer from depression. It just sucks! But, on the other hand, when we do have good times, we certainly appreciate them! I'm currently scrabbling around on the floor as well, saying WTH to myself! I think while you and Shmooey and I are on the floor maybe we should play marbles or something. With the marbles we still have! HaHa! Love you! You too Shmooey!
  31. 1 point

    What Are You Reading?

    Bravo to those reading difficult books - I recommend against things like One Flew Over and Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar) though, for those easily triggered. No offense, ModestMouse! ranter, the Scarpetta series is great, I should go back a re-read those myself. Also, for light reading, ANY of the Stephanie Plum bounty hunter series are excellent choices. Start at One for the Money and keep going! (Think there are 17 now.) Thanks for the mention, LaurynJCat. I am rereading Lee Child's Reacher books, cringing once in a while when I consider that Tom Cruise was cast as Reacher in an upcoming film. How ludicrous is it for him to play a character who is as well-known for his size as his skills? Just sayin'.... Also going through John Connolly's series with Charlie Parker, private detective, and his friends Angel and Louis. Disturbing content though - rated R for violence. Still reading Ludlum's older novels, the ones he wrote himself, most recently The Cry of the Halidon. Good suspense/spy thrillers, if you like that sort of thing. Anything to take me someplace other than here, in my head.
  32. 1 point

    Remember - It's Depression

    I did a search online because I was feeling very depressed and I came across this. I literally started having tears in my eyes when I read this post, and some of the following posts. I feel like there's finally people who understand me. Just today, I was doing just that - beating myself up by saying, "I feel so hopeless." I've experienced it time and time again where I try to talk to someone, and they are giving me the "tough love" approach. I think the best point you made was that it's not our fault that we are feeling this way, and that we are troopers for enduring what we do. Society tells us not to make excuses, which results in us beating ourselves up and telling ourselves to "stop being so negative." Also, years ago I was sucked into the whole Law of Attraction and The Secret, which tells the reader that bad feelings are caused by our thoughts. I was always thinking positive, and it got to a point where it was sometimes false positivity and was denying how I was really feeling. I eventually hit rock bottom. I threw all of those books away because of the harm they were causing. Thank you for posting this, I really needed it!
  33. 1 point

    It Ruined My Day.

    Don't be scared of fights. Figure out what makes people tick. Figure out why and how they mistreating you? Then let them have it right back in their face. Whatever they throw at you, swat it away and send it right back at them. That's my opinion. What did someone say/do to ruin your day?
  34. 1 point
    K C Dubs

    Why Is Life So Long ?

    I agree with Lexicat. Go out and take some risks, what have you got to lose. I used to have so much anxiety when I thought about college. I thought my depression and anxiety would ultimately lead to failure. I just go part time and it has been very managable. I am now going to be a junior with a 3.0 gpa. It's been a huge boost to my confidence. I think so much of depression stems from a complete lack of confidence in anything we do. Sometimes you need to just go out and PROVE YOURSELF WRONG. YOU CAN DO IT! Just give it a shot. :) Best wishes.
  35. 1 point

    Trying To Cope

    tetsch, you are in a tough situation. I have been there and it really is not fun at all. I hated being alone but if you can try to call up some family or friends just to hear their voice. Being negative seems to go hand in hand with depression as well for the most part and even though you do not want to be the way you are the depression takes over. There can and will be a end to your depression but you are going to need to take some steps to make that happen. 1. Self-Esteem - read up on it and try to find out how you can love yourself despite whatever bad things you have done or said to people. You need to accept yourself as a unique and special individual that when the depression is not there, you and others will see that special person. 2. Acceptance - accept right now that you need help, and others have been there before you and that you are not alone. Accept this is only temporary 3. Hope - Have hope that something way way bigger and more powerful knows what you are going through and will help you through this. When you are weak, Something bigger than all of us is working on getting you better. Tap into that strength and power and you too will be empowered. 4. Time - It takes time to get depressed so just constantly work on getting better and turning your life around, it will take some time to get and feel better - just take one day at a time. 5. Meds - Meds do help you feel better but ultimately you will need to create a lifestyle that is right for you and healthy for you, mentally and physically to start to conquer the depression 6. Mental State - work on stopping negative thoughts, hate thoughts and change them to positivity and love, Easier than it sounds I know but every great thing and accomplishment takes persistence and the first step. 7. Belief System - Understand that you are not alone even though you may feel that way and that people do care and love you even though you may not feel that anyone does. This ties in to self esteem, once you have developed a better self esteem you will feel differently and that you will believe, feel, and know that you are lovable and that people truly do like you and like to be around you. - It sucks but sometimes this takes time; it all depends on the person. 8. Help - get help wherever you can from the city programs, friends, family, doctors to assist you on this journey of healing 9. Today - Each day is a new day to be the kind of person you want to be. Today is another first day of the rest of your life so make the best of it that you can. 10. Kindness - be kind to yourself, accept who you are right now and take steps to changing what you don't like about yourself. 11 Meditation - the best way to start to see things clearer is to pray, or just meditate; really the same thing in my opinion. Control your thoughts, get rid of the clatter, seek spiritual guidance when you feel alone and really down. Draw from this source of strength and sense of peace. Quiet the mind and listen for your way out of this depression. The above is just from the top of my head based on experience as I have been depressed, anxious, just really messed up in the past. I have done a lot of mind work, accepting myself for who I am, loving the good, hating the bad; having proper outlets for anger and working on myself self esteem and understanding it more, understanding depression itself and making the most of my situation; drawing on strength from let's say a higher power (whatever that may be for you). Take care and I wish you all the best. Dan.
  36. 1 point
    clown xo

    This Can't Be Life.

    My life really shouldn't be this way.
  37. 1 point

    This Can't Be Life.

    Amazing, you just wrote what was going through my head.
  38. 1 point
    I agree with Red. You are really dwelling on this, and that needs to stop (sorry if that sounds harsh -- not intended to be). Blaming yourself for someone else's bad behaviour is not going to help, either. I think whenever someone gets dumped, they tend to idealize their ex, and forget all the bad things about that person. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Not to be rude, but he kind of sounds like a jerk. At this point, if you are losing that much weight and can't control your feelings, you might want to speak with a health care provider. Hurting yourself won't do you any good. I hope this works out for you.
  39. 1 point
    You mean he came out as a gay man, and that he is on hormone blockers. The right pronouns mean everything to genderqueer and trans* people. Now that you know that, please make an effort to talk to your brother using correct language and pronouns. He'll be devastated if you don't. OP, I don't know what to tell you, because you are older than me, and because I'm still at the starting block of wondering whether I'm trans* or not. However, I can reiterate what others have said. Just because you're into middle age doesn't mean you can't transition. Best of luck to you, and please let us know what you decide to do.
  40. 1 point

    How Do You Feel Today #27

    Hi there x Yes I did get in touch with them. It's only for a couple of hours a week. I sat through an interview today :) Two people interviewed me which got me a little anxious, you know sweating slightly, I hope they couldn't hear my heart beat. Wasn't expecting two interviewees - not for so few hours????? Anyhow, I bashed my way through it. You know something? Even if I don't get the job... I've just gone through an intense interview and didn't have a panic attack!!! YEEEEEEHHAAAAAA How do I feel today? - Right now, I am moonwalking
  41. 1 point

    Dating And Bpd

    I have BPD and it has definitely caused a few problems a time or two in my relationship. Luckily for me, my boyfriend is very supportive. Recently I caused a sort of major "scene" where I became irrationally jealous and fearful that he would leave me and I hurt myself in front of him as a result. (first time in several years) He immediately came to my side and helped me. He told me that after seeing me behave in such a way, it actually made him love me even more. He said that if he could see me do such a thing and still stay with me without it changing his opinion of me that it proved that our love can withstand any thing. That being said, if you find the right guy, having BPD (or any other condition) won't matter. Remember, you don't have to immediately disclose to someone that you have BPD. You are a person, not a label. :-)
  42. 1 point


    Hello everyone! Just started my Viibryd sample pack. I'm on day 2. I'll be sure to keep you posted on anything unusual. Quick background... been severely depressed for 15+ years. Lost my wife in late 2006 to cancer. I am a hot mess and have been on SEVERAL different types of anti-depressants. I hope this new one helps.
  43. 1 point
    Today for most of the day I was feeling incredibly sad...to the point where I had to fight back tears. I did cry when I got home. I don't think the cause is anything specific- but rather a bunch of factors piling up, as usual. My husband thinks part of it is I haven't been eating enough....been eating healthy, just not enough. I think he may be right. I was extremely tired and tried to take a nap but couldn't, so I spent some time bonding with our pet rabbit. Then I went on facebook and started looking at the same stuff over and over in a kind of "blah" mode. Then I looked down at one of my arms and noticed how slender and muscular it is and thought to myself, "these arms did not get this way by sitting in front of facebook"...at that moment I packed my swim gear, headed to the Y and had a very nice half-hour swim.
  44. 1 point

    Dating And Bpd

    I have bpd, and I have been with my bf almost 4 years. What's worse is that before we didn't know what was wrong. We tried so much to help me sort of stabilize myself, but often I got worse. Now we know what I have, we can both recognize when my bpd is taking over, and we deal with it. I believe I have had this for over a decade, so I know how to deal with myself pretty well, but sometimes I still have episodes where I'm very self defeating, or I'm trying to sabotage a situation for no reason, sometimes its sadness, I had a few months of compulsive lying, which I relate to my sabotage habit. Regardless, we can now spot when I am not being my normal self, and it really only takes maybe 5-10 minutes for us to just cope, then we go on about our lives. It isn't so bad, and someone who wants to be with you, should be able to devote such little time to helping you. My bf literally just has to say, "I feel like you're not normal you right now. Tell me what you're thinking/feeling." once I'm honest about how I feel, no matter how crazy, he can sort of gage how to respond. So if I say, "I'm feeling really anxious and I dislike myself and I want to do anything to leave." he knows to just tell me to breath and that this is just a panic attack and I do want to have fun, and be out with my bf, etc Everyones different. You'll find a happy coping method thats quick and easy. I believe you know what you need to get past an episode, so make a mate aware! Let them help you, and that will help the relationship. Bpd isn't as bad for people on the outside as it is for us, but we have to let the people around us know how to react, what to not take personal, and how to help us get through episodes.
  45. 1 point
    Thank you for the advice, you two. I really appreciate it.
  46. 1 point
    How's this for a theory: The meds NEVER work. You just feel so much better after all the side effects go away that you think they are working. I kid, but sometimes I wonder.
  47. 1 point
    Someone said they couldn't prove it but pan and Remeron are one in the same. Dude, being from Oregon, you should be at home.
  48. 1 point

    Celexa / Lexapro's Success Stories

    I had my first panic attack when I was 14 which was 8 years ago. I'll never forget it. I was out of breath, heart racing, palpitating, thought I was going die. Throughout high school I had an array of panic attacks, and in the end of my first year of college, a deep dulling depression hit me. My doctor perscribed me plexapro 10mg, but the effect seemed to have worn off after a few months, so I stupidly just stopped taking it. That was 2006, and since then I have been depressed and anxious simultanaeously for long periods of time which led to a social phobia where the only way I could l;eave my house was if I had drunk half a bottle of rum. I almost commited suicide on various ocassions. It's really sad because I was always a calm, happy, and smart person my whole life. 5 months ago my doctor prescribed me 20mg of citalopram (celexa) for severe depression and panic disorder. After a month I started to notice a decrease in the intense anxiety feelings which upped my mood. But I still felt that I could receive more of an effect. So my doctor upped me to 40mg, and have been on that for the past 4 months. Everything has just slowed down, so it's easier for me to feel collected and to process things. I'm more relaxed and just kinda go with the flow. I am able to leave my house again. I'm not costantly lying in bed and pacing around my house absorbed in my fears. I can have a conversation and can concentrate on what's going on rather than feeling dull just thinking about my insecurities and flaws all the time. And don't expect to become happy and exccited and confident all of a sudden. GIVE IT TIME. I didn't feel any effect until like 3 weeks. And trust me it feels great! I also take b-12 vitamin in the morning. i also eat fresh foods. i also do some cardio to get my blood flowing. I no longer crave alcohol. Depression sucks and so does anxiety. But it's not you, it's your brain. God allows everything to happen to us for a reason, and if he has allowed you to feel depressed or anxious, perhaps he is calling you to pray to him. Take heart as your mood lifts and you feel normal and happy again! Good luck to everyone out there battling this gripping and distressing illness.
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