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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/30/2012 in all areas

  1. 2 points

    Am I Depressed? Am Confused.

    Glad that we could help you. What you could try is talking to an online therapist. There are sites here where you can actually talk via email to a psychologist. Some have SKYPE so take a look at whet they have to offer. It's a start for your treatment plan and you don't have to go out in public. The agoraphobia you have is a detrimental factor with many mental illnesses. Maybe talking to a therapist would help you a great deal. Sheepwoman
  2. 2 points

    Am I Depressed? Am Confused.

    Jim Bow gave you very sound advice. We aren't professionals and cannot give you a diagnosis. You can always read the FAQ sheets we have on depression or Google it. If you can relate to 3 or more symptoms, it's time to seek out help from a mental health professional. Sheepwoman
  3. 2 points
    What?! He needs lots of children to pass on his genes? Urgh... ok, sounds like he's a little full of himself, if he thinks his genes are that vital to the world's survival. Bleh. I'm sorry, I know you love him but he sounds like he's rather a jerk. I don't know him as well as you do, and I'm sure there are things about him that are worth loving, but I wouldn't let anything he's done or said make you doubt your self worth. In fact, to me it sounds like he wants to USE women, to some extent... "Gaby is perfect for what I need." WHAT? What is he using YOU for? Does he just want you to bear and rear his seed and be his happy, complacent little wife? What is this, the middle ages? I know you're engaged, but from reading your post it seriously sounds like this guy is just not ready to settle down with one woman. If an open relationship would be emotionally damaging to you, but he doesn't want to save what's in his pants for you alone, you might need to break it off. Sounds like he's doing you a lot of harm, and I'm sure you could find a man who loves you and respects you so much that they are willing to make sacrifices for you. I think all of us in monagamous relationships feel that spark for other people now and then, that's just natural, but if you love your partner enough you can rationalize that keeping your relationship strong and exclusive - if that's what the both of you desire - is more fulfilling and valuable than any little fling. Bottom line, this dude is just not ready to settle down! I do realize it would be kind of a scandal to break off an engagement, but remember, it's his fault. You don't deserve to be locked down to a guy who wants to run off and stick it in all his attractive co-workers to breed his post-apocalypse child army.
  4. 2 points
    A book with information about ADHD probably won't suit your needs. Books that are based on facts and case studies are usually best reserved for loved ones who want to learn more about what the disorder to gain a better understanding of what the person they care about is going through. What would be better for you is a book that explains strategies for coping with and accepting your disorder.
  5. 1 point

    Feeling Stupid....

    I hate days like this...I just can't seem to express myself. I try to reply to posts but the words just aren't coming out properly. I've always been quite intelligent but on days like this I feel totally stupid. I stumble over words. When I write I stare into space trying to find the words and nothing comes out right..... when I'm talking I stop in mid sentence because I don't know what I'm trying to say. Trouble is these days are becoming more frequent and it scares me..... :(
  6. 1 point
    I agree with Altermentality, your BF seriously needs his ego deflated. If he is talking to other girls and thinking about them in a romantic way, then he is not devoted to you, and that is his fault. Don't blame yourself because he's a P**k. It amazes me that he would get engaged to someone and then ask for an open relationship... That's like saying I want you for the most part, but I also want other women. That is not a devoted partner. My honest opinion, end it.
  7. 1 point

    Am I Depressed? Am Confused.

    DarkHellBlaze, Sorry you're feeling low. The advice the others have given you is the best advice. A visit to the doctor can often turn a life around. It turned mine around. I only wish I had seen a doctor sooner. It does seem [and I mean 'seem' because I am NOT a doctor] . . . that you are being really hard on yourself right now. I notice your post only mentions negatives. I think there are a million and one good and wonderful things about you and that maybe you just don't see those right now. Feeling bad can sometimes make us gravitate to the negative things we think about ourselves and totally blind us to the positive things. If you got out a sheet of paper and started to list the positive things, positive experiences, nice things you've done for yourself and others, little nice things you've done for strangers . . . that list could be almost endless. I think it is important not to "mentally" beat yourself up about the past. Best to move forward. You could aim for making progress and not aim for perfection. These words of mine are just words. If they are helpful, consider them. Otherwise keep reading what other people post here on this Forum. I thinking getting to a doctor is best, even if it is only a family doctor. Best to you today!!!
  8. 1 point

    Change My Life

    A few weeks ago I wrote a topic called "5 years since the accident" Which is about me loosing my parents 5 years ago and bla bla bla. Today I woke up and felt like today is the day i'm gonna move on whit my life. I'm gonna start over and never look back. It's been 5 years now, I feel like i'm ready to move on and just start living again. I'm gonna quit my job and move as far away from this place as i can and just start meeting new people. I have nothing to lose so I can't see a reason not to do it. I'm probably gonna get an education and hopefully one day i'll meet someone who i can spend the rest of my life whit. For the first time in 5 years i can feel the will to live again. But I'm afraid this feeling is just temporary.. I sure hope not. Can you get over a depression this fast or is it just "a good day"? (i'm 22 btw)
  9. 1 point

    Am I Depressed? Am Confused.

    Thanks for your help and i asked this question because i thought i was being in a bad mood all the time and didn't know that i have gotten depressed now due to it. The information your provided is more than enough thanks again.
  10. 1 point

    What Is My Ex Bf Thinking?

    As long as you are realistic and don't see him as being make or break to your own happiness
  11. 1 point

    Am I Depressed? Am Confused.

    Hi DarkHellBlaze and Welcome to DF, I guess your past lifestyle can account for some of your symptoms right now. If you live a life that put you at physical and emotional risk it is going to effect you in many way so hence your symptoms. First I would go and see your Doctor as it sounds from what you say that you are having episodes of depression. The changing moods can be managed by medication. As for your current lifestyle well you can easily move away from that. If it feel hard to give up habits it is because you think it will be heard. You brain is honouring your thoughts very pristinely Remember you can only live one moment at a time so you can decide, make a choice to completely turn your whole life around should you wish. Right from this moment let the past be past and create a new mindset and start living the life you really want. Hard to do? No it is not , only if you think and believe it is then it will be hard as you will attract what you believe to you. So it is a case of deciding what you really want in life. Write your genuine goals down and then with determination and passion just keep on going down that road. Take massive action to get you up and running you do not have time to waste in your current mindset. Get to see a Doctor , get a treatment plan and then start to immediately work on your future goals of living a life you will love. Best Wishes Jim Bow
  12. 1 point

    Social Anxiety At A Party

    This is probably one of the hardest things to do but just enjoy it for the moment that it is! No analysis, no "does he/she like me/have an agenda", "does my hair look good". You don't need to be the centre of attraction but its horrible alright to be there alone. Possibly next time bring a friend or in my case have a party trick or two ready ... I don't mind being laughed at so long as others take part too. A lot of it comes from just being comfortable around strangers at times, like in your normal everyday, take that extra second to say "Thanks" and maybe ask the shop assistant hows it going! You may not believe this but at parties, most other people don't know you either and while it maybe a struggle, even a simple hello and asking is that the music they listen to normally is sufficient to get a conversation going. No analysis of "Oh he/she likes this/that therefore he/she is a hipster/metaller!". If you are at the party now, sure head out to the kitchen and in doing so, ask yer man would he like a drink as you are famished after the dancing. Go on! It might lead to at least a few introductions and then just go with the flow - you are at the party now for a few hours so let tomorrow take care of itself! By the way, why wasn't I invited he he! Only joking - don't think my unique style of dancing/ jokes about the three nuns going to heaven would be appreciated!
  13. 1 point

    I'm Sick...

    Honestly, I was a late bloomer too. All of my friends had many boyfriends before I was even talking to a boy on my own. I was very depressed and had low self worth and I figured it was because of the fact I didn't have a boyfriend. But in fact, I didn't have a boyfriend because I had low self worth. When I finally found someone I loved it didn't take long for me to become extremely depressed again. Now that I had someone amazing in my life and I was STILL depressed, I realized this wasn't about other people. This was about me and how much I hated myself. I have a boyfriend now. He's amazing... guess what? I still want to **** myself. Try to understand that you need to work on yourself first. Think about what about yourself makes you proud to be you. A school degree? A particular skill you have? How kind you are? It sounds cliche but it's something you need to do. As soon as you feel a little better about yourself, girls will be more ready to meet you. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with themselves. It makes sense, doesn't it? If you don't like you, why would someone else? You have a lot of worth, you just need to realize this. You'll meet someone soon & you'll realize all your worrying about being a certain age without a companion wasn't relevant because it just took you a little longer to meet the right girl. Good Luck
  14. 1 point

    I Can't Be Happy

    Catastrophising is one of the worst facets of anxiety and panic. I've been working on it wth my therapist. We've termed it as 'starring in my own disaster movie.' I put myself in these worst case scenarios, and the movie starts. What we all need to be able to do is to 'direct' the movie, rather than 'star' in the movie - that is, not let the intrusive and unwanted thoughts cause us to go to worst case thinking. Easier than it sounds I know, because I'm my own worst culprit. Just letting you know that you're not alone thinking like this, it affects a lot of people. Here's hoping for some happier time for you ((hugs))
  15. 1 point
    Shattered Soldier

    My Dilemma.

    Just because you are not doing any activities that are worthy of posting on Facebook doesn't make you a boring person. You just live a quiet and uneventful life. Maybe your life feels boring to you, it feels boring for a lot of us, but that doesn't mean that we aren't interesting people with many interests, philosophies, interesting perspectives, senses of humor, unique personalities, and a certain degree of charisma. I don't believe in boring in the context of what you are doing with your everyday life. I believe the criteria of being boring relates to how you interact with others. There are people who do a lot of interesting things in their spare time, but when they talk or brag about their adventures it can become a rather tedious conversation in a hurry, they bore you to no end. There are also those long winded conversations with people where you can't get a single word in, there is no interaction, it's so boring you're looking for an excuse to walk away. There are others who are adept at catering to the listener. They talk about common interests, ask a lot of questions, and tell brief stories and some of them are entertaining and funny. They foster social interaction as opposed to dominating the conversation. It's fun to talk to them because you get to trade stories, debate beliefs, discover what you have in common with them, etc. As for countering this irrational belief, focus on how you present yourself to others. Try to find things about yourself that are interesting. Think about a quality you possess that makes you different from everybody else. And finally, stop comparing yourself to others. I know that last part is hard for this reason: we are mentally ill. We feel the need to continuously observe our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors for any signs of trouble. Many of us use "normal people" as a reference to how well we are doing. We frequently find that we fall short when using them as a basis for comparison. We have been programmed by this illness to constantly examine ourselves, it's a terrible habit, most of us are mired in it, and it only makes things worse. So please stop comparing yourself to your Facebook friends. When I'm on Facebook I spend most of my time commenting on people's posts and pictures. I don't care about the great time they're having that I'm missing out on, I see it as something that me and the other person can talk about when I see them again, just as long as they're not the type of person who drones on and on and on.
  16. 1 point

    It's Been Awhile.

    I haven't been on in awhile. I wish I could say that I was extremely busy. But I wasn't. Unless you count work. Working, vegging out, and going to the pool on the weekends. I've had some downs, but I've also had some ups so I guess they balanced themselves out. Let's see, I did start going back to Weight Watchers. I'm on my third week back in. I only go and weigh in every other week. But it does make me think, "man, you're a lifetime member and you gained everything plus some back. What happened?" It's partially my knee, I can't blame the entire gain back on my arthritis. Now that I got the arthritis pain squared away for now (one synvisc injection and one cortisone injection later) I'm trying to take the advice of my ortho doctor. Get ye butt to the gym! When I make it twice a week, I consider that a success. I haven't been there in so long, it's hard to go back full speed like I was before. That's my motivation right now. The more weight that comes off, the less weight the knee has to bear. What is it? Every pound off is 3 or 4 pounds of pressure off the joint. Since I started back to the gym and WW, I've got probably about 5 pounds of pressure off my knee. I keep looking at it that way because looking at the amount I should lose is very discouraging. Small, little goals, that's the way I have to look at it. I have a lovely dermatologist story, but I'll save that for later. I don't want to make this entry that long. On a really random side note, I really want a s'more. But it's way too hot to go outside and toast a marshmallow. I cleaned my grill off last weekend and bought some marshmallows, hershey bars and graham crackers. I use my grill to toast (or in my case, torch) the marshmallows. I don't know how healthy it is torching them with a propane flame, but it doesn't matter to me. They are good and sometimes if you have a craving (or fall victim to Giant's merchandising scheme for the season) you need to make one.
  17. 1 point

    New To Wellbutrin

    Ok, if we are going all "TMI" here, here we go!! LOL: Txbutterfly, I am so sorry you are having poop issues. It consumed my mind&body the whole first month of welly The tea Tamtay told me about, the Smooth Move stuff, works well overnight but it sort of "cleans you out" so you may have to go several times, like diarrhea pretty much. The senna pills gave me terrible cramps, the kind you would only get if you had bad stomach flu-diarrhea except nothing really came out, I was just in (literally) gut-wrenching pain. It's the same herb as the tea but the pills weren't as good for some reason. I think the thing that helped me regulate a bit finally was chewable Philip's milk of magnesia. It says to take 8 pills for constipation, 1-2 for heartburn. So I took 8 when I felt really bloated, and it worked without cramping. Then I took 3 every Am with the welly to "prevent" constipation but the last 3 days I forgot and just good old "waking up and having a coffee" worked for me like it did before I started the welly. It's not as much coming out, I will say that. I get kind of paranoid/hypochondriac kind-of thinking about "what if I have an impaction?" Gross, I know. I blame the internet for putting ideas in my head! So, that kind of freaks me out...but I am glad to get something out each Am. I just wrote a paragraph about my poop. Maybe there are so many constipation meds because everyone reacts to them differently. I bought mostly generic to save money and had to experiment. Good luck Txbutterfly.
  18. 1 point
    Knowledge is power...I read everything I can about severe depression. But thats me. Fact of the matter is I do suffer from depression wether I read about it or not. Kuddo
  19. 1 point

    The Friday Night Conundrum

    Hi Syzygy, Sharing an experience can certainly add something to it. But I think it is not helpful to see that as a requirement for being happy. I used to be addicted to being with people. I found out that I was actually afraid of being alone. I would get uneasy when I was alone too much. With friends I would go to a nice restaurant and see a movie. Alone I would eat a cheap burger and watch TV. I treated other people well, but wasn't so good to myself. Way way in the back of my mind was the idea that it was somehow abnormal, even dangerous to be alone . . . as if I could die of it. Being alone is life-threatening to an infant and can be unpleasant to anyone, but it does not simply hurt a person magically. It is "believing" that being alone is bad, wrong or dangerous that hurts a person. Believe it or not, you are not in any danger simply by being alone. If you feel empty by yourself, it can often happen that you can feel empty with other people too. Right now there are people in relationships surrounded by friends who feel alone, really alone. I'm not making this up. I learned a little trick. Instead of running from a fear, run towards it. When I am afraid of being alone I make a point to BE alone. I go to a nice restaurant or a good movie or on a great trip. I am amazed how much fun I can have. I think you could try being really good to yourself while alone and see what happens. People often put a lot of effort into having fun when they are with others. But treat themselves badly when alone. Treat yourself good tonight whether you are alone or with others. There is no shame in being alone or with others. But try looking at "alone" differently. It might help.
  20. 1 point
    (((((((((((((((((((((((cdot)))))))))))))))))))))) Happy birthday hugs for you. How many of your friends know your birthdate? If none, they don't know what day it is for you. I usually celebrate my birthday by myself. I use it as a celebration of life. I do things I think are fun and I make a special dinner of my favorite food just for me. My sis often forgets my birthday just like my friends do. None of us have the mental calendar of events for everyone in our life. I know who's born in what month and that's the closest I get to their actual birthdays. Sheepwoman
  21. 1 point
    When I was finally diagnosed as Bipolar I, I read everything I could about it. Having that knowledge explained a lot of things that occurred in 35 years. I'm still reading as there's always something new coming out about description and appropriate treatment plans. Personaslly, I WANT to know about anything I've been diagnosed as having. I want to be informed, whether the outlook is good or bad. Having the information includes me in how my docs treat me. In other words, I am an active participant in my medical and psychological/psychiatric treatments. If I disagree with anything, I have a voice. Sheepwoman
  22. 1 point
    Hi Megan286, personally I think that knowing that you have a disorder and reading enough about it to make you self aware is a positive thing, if you van identify with what is written. If it disturbs you so much that your self esteem is suffering i wouldn't read it personally. For me reading about Borderline Personality Disorder is really tough as A LOT of the stuff on the internet is so negative 'run away from that BPD person they are evil' type things which doesn't help me get well, reading sites like DF and peer-to-peer groups has helped me. Girly
  23. 1 point

    The Friday Night Conundrum

    Well, it doesnt' sound like the bars are working for you. I think they are making you more unhappy! So, I'd say no to the bars. There are other things you can do though, and I encourage you to look around your community for different experiences. I have not gone out and socialized for a long time, but there has to be other things out there besides bars! Try going to the gym on Friday night! Go swimming, or for a walk. Take some sort of art class, or any other kind of class. What you want is to be out with people and you can do that without going to a bar and drinking! How about concerts? I can't think of anything else, maybe someone will chime in with more. Use your imagination! Come on everyone, let's give Sygyzy some ideas!
  24. 1 point

    New Member-Need Help

    Hi Kmorris, After the 4th of July sounds good to me! If you have a church home, is there someone there on the staff you could go talk to? I know some churches have councilors on staff. Keep on posting here too, I think it will help you to communicate with other sufferers. I don't know what to say about the man you are interested in. It sounds like he's got some pretty big problems. I guess you just need to give him some space. I wouldn't say you should wait for him or anything. Just carry on your life as normal and if he returns, great, and if not, oh well, it wasn't meant to be.
  25. 1 point

    Which Tv Shows Do You Like?

    Spongebob Squarepants. You can tell I have kids! When they try to change the channel when spongebob is on I won't let them. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea.....
  26. 1 point
    was just thinkin.. don't we all also see a little "flash" because we've been looking at our laptop screens. wink,flash,wink :):)
  27. 1 point

    40+People # 2

    Whispers, to the club for people that weren't born yesterday. Hope you will like it here! M of P, glad you liked the links. I have pm-ed you about that. It seems like you and PurpleStorm have such a heavy load to carry for the time being, that I sent both of you the links. They have been very, very helpful to me on the bumpy and often terrible road to be able to control depression instead of letting the depression control me. As a matter of fact people are telling me these days that I look more alive, so it's not a feeling I have for myself. Using the journal and the charting have really helped! Take care! :hearts:
  28. 1 point

    Mental ****** Health.

    You know what? I'm tired of being in the mental illness closet. I'm tired of pretending that I'm just tired, or feeling a little sick, when I call in to work/skip yet another party/don't call my friends/whatever. I'm tired of hiding the crippling anxiety that runs my brain and makes me unable to daydream something nice without it turning into an apocalypse scenario. I want to tell people that I have Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depersonalization Disorder. I want to tell it to Facebook. I want to tell my boss. I want to tell my co-workers and my hairdresser. My boss has probably already guessed, since I miss a couple hours of work every week for therapy. But I don't know. I just want people to understand what's WRONG with me so that they don't think I'm a lazy, useless, flaky sack of crap. But how? How do you go about announcing your mental illness in a way that doesn't seem like begging for attention and sympathy? I'm tired of acting normal. I'm not normal. I'm unwell. And dammit, I want people to know.
  29. 1 point

    What Made You Laugh Today?

    When seeing on the news a huge bear swimming in a swimming-pool in California because it was so hot! I loved seeing it splashing about in the pool. Smile of the day.
  30. 1 point

    Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

    It just so happened that I couldn't look up stuff about my obsession over the last day or two. I had surgery, so I've been doped up on pain meds and unable to get out of bed until now. I guess it was a blessing in disguise, because it allowed me a bit of a break, and to distance myself for a while. When I went back online today, I saw new pictures all over the net with him holding hands with his girlfriend, whom I dislike very much. I'm bugged about it, of course. But I don't feel as devastated as I did before. I don't know why. I think the key is just to try to cut back on exposure to the obsession. Take breaks. Do things to distract yourself. I'm going to try that. Like you said, it's hard to give it up cold turkey, but if you can reduce the amount of time spent, it may get easier. I hope you are all doing ok. We'll get through this together!
  31. 1 point
    I used to have bad days just like all of you and it's so painful :( But believe me when I say it gets better! My obsession has gone on for four years now and I'm at a point where I'm just really happy with it. I don't really know what the best way is to get through it, one day it'll just seem different. So hang in there everyone, it will get easier :)
  32. 1 point

    Remember - It's Depression

    Dear Budfox, All I can say is a sincere Thank you. I so needed to read your words tonite. I've been having a really difficult month, and for the first time in about that long I actually thought of ... Oh I'm not even going to go there. Just know that I prayed for a miracle today, and I believe being led to your post was that miracle. As much as I try to tell myself some of the things you write about, like 'be gentle', and that it's an illness, it's so hard to get through my head when I'm feeling so numb. But somehow, reading someone else's words, your words, did more for me than I can say. And you said sooo much more that hasn't even crossed my mind. So much that is just so true. I actually feel better right at this moment by not resisting it, and just 'being' with it... surrendering to it... knowing that the fog won't always be so dark. I go to bed now with acceptance, peace, hope that tomorrow or the next day will be a little better, and thinking of ways that I can give myself some TLC, instead of judgment. Thank you for posting your thoughts here instead of your journal. I'm sure I'm not the only one they have helped. Sincerely, FH
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