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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/05/2012 in all areas

  1. 1 point

    Remember - It's Depression

    I was going to write this post as a journal entry to myself as I'm feeling very low and panicky at the moment. However on the off-chance that it might be of benefit to some of the good, nay great, folks on DF I thought I might as well post it here. I read a lot of the posts on this forum and one very common feature of what people are going through is the fear and panic they feel at what is happening to them. Browse through the posts and you will see a lot of, 'I don't know what's happening', 'Something is not right', 'I'm losing my mind', etc. I've made similar statements in some of my previous posts on this very forum in the past. Even though I've suffered from depression for more than 10 years I am still freaking out at how bad I'm feeling right now. Surely by now I should be an expert at managing this? I have had enough experience after all. So, this is what I'm trying to tell myself (and for what it's worth I know this to be totally true, it's just that depression sometimes casts a dark fog over our thinking): For all the terrible symptoms it produces we are all suffering from the SAME basic condition. Of course depression and anxiety affect us uniquely, such is the nature of a disease of the most amazing and complex system known to man, the human brain. However, even though we probably all feel like we are going through something totally personal to us, and I don't deny that in a sense we are, essentially we're all suffering from the same underlying illness, caused by abnormal changes in our brain neurochemistry. The reason none of us can just 'snap out' of depression is that it's an absolutely real illness. Stop thinking of the symptoms you are experiencing as being a manifest reflection of something that is deeply wrong with you. You're just ill. In the future they will be able to precisely elucidate the neurochemical changes that are going on within the brain. For now, they have kind of a rough idea of what's going on but not much more than that. Some days I wake up and can hardly get out of bed. I mean that quite literally. I feel numb to everything, no energy, utter hopelessness for the future and no interest in anybody or anything. Then a day later I can wake up and feel totally normal. Nothing in my life circumstances has changed from the bad day to the good day, it just so happens that for some reason that is inexplicable to me on the first day my neurochemistry is screwed up and on the second day it is within normal ranges. So whatever weird, horrifying, disturbing symptoms you are suffering from please try to remember that you're just ill. If it was an illness of the body you would feel pain or you would have difficulty walking or impaired vision. However, because illnesses like diabetes, arthritis, etc affect organs other than the brain the symptoms they produce, while they can of course be very serious, are still more uniform and less confounding than an illness which affects the brain, an organ many many times more complex than anything else in these bodies of ours. If you feel totally down or anxious when reading this then just accept that there is little that you can do about the way you feel right now to feel instantly better, although of course things like exercise and certain fast acting medications can help greatly. But also know that your brain chemistry is in flux and you are not going to carry on feeling like this forever. There's no point trying to analyse the way you feel or trying to think the way out of your depression, anymore than it would make sense to try and think your way out of diabetes. The depression or anxiety is there, it is making you feel so bad and when it goes you will feel better. I realise that we might all have developed depression for different reasons but I doubt there is one person on this forum that can say that his or her life circumstances are absolutely unique and that the life he or she has gone through is worse than that experienced by many of the millions of people who go through terrible things but don't ever develop depression. Accept that the depression or anxiety is there for now, stop thinking about it and learn to function as best you can even with the worst depression or anxiety that you have ever felt. And take hope in the knowledge that this will get better. Many posters are also blaming themselves for something that is not in the least their fault and saying things like 'I feel like a loser', 'I don't feel worthy', etc, etc. I say to you 'Nonsense!!!' You are just ill. In fact you are more worthy than most because you're dealing with a horrible illness and still managing to keep going. Most of you deserve medals, I tell you that. You're soldiers. Yet because our society is so nasty and backwards, we are still expected to function as well as people who don't have depression at all. When I think about how I am, I mean how functional I am on a good day as compared to a bad day, the gulf between the two is massive. The bad day Bud cannot possibly hope to compete with the good day Bud. It's like trying to be in a fight with someone with one hand tied behind your back. So be realistic and don't be too hard on yourselves. When you're down then do what you can but don't expect too much. Be gentle. As for what everyone in your company or your social circle thinks, to hell with them. They're not experiencing this and you are. Human beings like to go around feeling superior to others and judgmental, especially in modern workplaces. Their lack of sympathy, empathy or understanding is a sad reflection on them, not on you. I tell you you are all wonderful people and it pains me to see you suffer. Well maybe right at the moment you can't help the suffering but you can avoid compounding it. Let's support each other through this and take the view that we are in it together. Know that if you post here you'll get a reply, so however incapable of understanding people in your lives might be, you'll always have this forum to come to. I don't know about you but I at least find great solace in that. Thanks for listening. B
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  3. 1 point

    Mirtazapine Questions

    Hang in there Jacqui- Give it a little time yet- I hope you feel better soon...
  4. 1 point

    What Really Bugs You #4

    When birds mess on my SUV.
  5. 1 point

    Can Anybody Help???

    Of course he can. Self medication is not as bad as most people in western world think. People self medicate for centuries. You don't think there were always doctors? The question is why is he acting so self destructive by refusing all other means of help, and turning to the only option that he was reluctant to in the first place. I know I am that self destructive as well, but years of experience thought me not to trust myself. I feel the doubt in him. It's like he wants to be proved that nothing can help him, so that he will have an excuse. Does he victimize himself, or it just appears like that to me? I'm not the most perceptive person around here, but it also seem to me I've been where he is. It's just a feeling I get by the things he writes and says. I may well be wrong.
  6. 1 point

    Can Anybody Help???

    I'm not a drug person either even though I went so far as to get a prescription for Prozac from my doctor during a particularly dark period. I've never fulfilled it, but just getting it made me feel better, just as the first day of seeing a therapist made me feel better. As far as sunlight goes, let me share this...I'm going through dark period right now compounded by many things, not the least of which is an injury that will take over a month to heal. Today I got up, saw a movie I liked, ran an errand I needed to run that will help me accomplish a goal I set for myself and was meeting someone for a first date. But I still had a cloud over me though everything seemed to be going right. Then the sun came out and it all seemed better and I never thought I was one of those people and actually prided myself on being a night person. But there it is.
  7. 1 point

    Need Help To Concentrate

    I know it's hard to not let your mind wonder, but whenever you feel it start to wonder just drop the thought your about to have and focus on your reading. Also don't try to think too much about it because you'll be thinking "i need to focus on reading" all the time instead of actually reading lol Relax and let the words sink into your mind. Also what i like to do is go into a quite room and turn on the fan. This was you have no distractions but at the same time its not dead quiet. I hope this helps, good luck!
  8. 1 point

    Tired Of Being This Way.

    Just take it one day at a time chin up. there is a Dr. Seuss quote that goes something like take everything you have to do and divide it into lists, if it still sees like too much divide again. This helps me get through each day one step at a time., Jacqui I feel lonely often I think most people with depression do. People without depression don't understand how our brains work which makes us feel like we are alone. Thats what we are here for.
  9. 1 point
    Thank you for sharing. This I can totally relate to as of late. Especially the last few months and continuing thoughts. You are truly gifted to have someone so understanding. I can only hope mine continues to try and understand what I'm going through. Best of luck.
  10. 1 point


    I agree with Darcness and Mirthless. Sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with a mental health practitioner is therapeutic. When you share your innermost thoughts and feelings and express them, the thoughts and feelings are no longer 'trapped' inside your body and you feel an feeling of relief as if a huge weight has been taken off your shoulders. Also, other people can give you a different perspective, that you could not have thought of, on your problems. Sometimes, the problem with trying to solve some problems on our own is that we can only find solutions that fit own thinking style. Other solutions are omitted because we cannot think of them due our thinking styles.
  11. 1 point

    sertraline mixed with alcohol

    *************************************** I have been taking Setraline now for a few months, for depression and OCD, and if i drink a little to much i die for at least 3 days... not nice days either... after drinking it takes me about 3 days to get back "out of the pit ." I have found that this AD is working for me, for now and after being on others, and when i think about it is it really worth it to have those extra few that causes me to feel so bad for a few hours of drunken stupor? I dont think it is and it is not fair to me or my family. Now i will have a drink or 2 but that second drink to me is like 4 so that is my limit. No bad hangover after and no guilty feelings and questioning what did i do and i have a great time. I know it is hard sometimes to drink in moderation esspecially when every now and then we like to drink more but ......... well i could go on forever but i just totally agree with Deepster. I also think everyone is different, some of us experience simular effects but the one thing we need to realize is that we do need the AD right now, if we have families we need to think of them , we need to give the AD a chance to work, i know that some have tried many AD and still havent found the right on BUT DON"T GIVE UP and if it does work for you why mess with that. I know i rather be where i am than under the black cloud i have been under for so long. I know that even being on this AD that i still have my days but i can deal with them right now and when i cant i will tell someone. I am sooooo glad i found this site. Funny because one of the reasons why it took me sooo long to admit that i needed help is because i felt alone, crazy, why cant i handle these little things anymore, what is my husband and kids going to think of me i use to be so strong and handle everything, will i need to be hospitalized...ect.. i am sure some of you can understand...... but just knowing that this is not something to be ashamed about and that there are so many people out there who are the same really helps. well it helped me... Thanks Take Care Cattie
  12. 1 point

    sertraline mixed with alcohol

    I understand that alcohol is a depressant, and that it would reverse the effects of meds... I am just saying that it is unfair that not only do I have to take medication to cope with everyday life, I have to watch what I eat and drink and change 'my everyday life'. Why cant I be 'Normal'??? (and of course here comes the age old question of "What is normal?") I dont drink often, and I am happy to go places with my friends sober, but why cant i drink if I want to???????????? Why does everything good have to come with a cost? I have been told that "Everything of true beauty comes with great pain" - so maybe I should go off meds and suffer the lows to get the 'highs' (wow - such as being able to enjoy ONE drink with my friends, OR maybe to have a BIT of a libido again - what a wild idea.) I am completely over it. [And I am not having a go at anyone of the replies that I got, so I will apologise if anything I have said causes offense, I seriously dont intend to do that, even though in retrospect it probably sounds like I am having a go... I am just frustrated and having a whinge.]
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