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Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/03/2019 in Status Updates

  1. 2 points
    I am officially intrigued....... I feel a fanfiction coming on....
  2. 2 points
    20YearsandCounting

    Ummmm, yeah....

    Ummmm, yeah....
  3. 2 points
  4. 2 points
    Well it's 8:00 AM here in South Georgia and I'm getting ready to go see my psychiatrist. They put me on a new mood stabilizer, I forget the name, but I'm not so sure it's agreeing with me. All I know is I've been in a hell of a depression for over a month now and thinking about the changes I know I need to make in my life. Since 1995 I've been in various inpatient treatment programs for the depression and drug use as I do self medicate. It just doesn't work anymore, the self-medicating with pain pills an Adderall, in fact I would have to say it just makes the depression worse and even though I use them as prescribed, I use them for all the wrong reasons. It's going to take a great deal of faith to go back into may be a 30 day stay in a treatment center as I have done that so many times before. But all I know is at 51 years old I don't know how long I have left in this world but I just want to get rid of the past and try to make the best of what I have left. That means letting go of everything over to my higher power and somehow ignoring this awful ego that gets me in trouble all the time. I'm going to finish out October and go into my last day at a rehab, as I will never do it again so this has to count. I'm just tired, so tired, of just existing and daily thinking about how to **** myself and end it all. This is no way to live for anybody. So wish me luck and I would appreciate prayers from my fellow believers...
  5. 2 points
    Spoiled milk dead fish rotten egg toothpaste barf can dog food booger stinky socks stink bug and dirty dishwasher. These evidently were the flavors I ate last night, late, After finishing a legal brief. the first couple that I ate were regular sweet flavors so I thought ah, these are the good ones. Nope. I woke up this morning still feeling queasy and had to eat an apple to stabilize my nausea stomach. It's not helpful that Laurel just told me that technically I ate some of the real thing because they make these by sucking the air out of these real things and putting it into the jelly bean flavor. Emmmm.
  6. 2 points
    Because let's face it, cats can be assholes....
  7. 2 points
  8. 2 points
    20YearsandCounting

  9. 2 points
    20YearsandCounting

  10. 2 points
    Thank you everybody for your kind words and warm wishes, and my comment regarding God/Jesus calling me is -- faith has taken a beating. Just would like to know/feel that God loves me and He cares, ya know? Everyone take care.
  11. 2 points
    My philosophy of house cleaning.....
  12. 2 points
  13. 1 point
    I am half way through writing my reply novel πŸ˜† feel a little sun frazzled today though so I will carry on some more tomorrow πŸ˜„ Hope you and mini mischief are well 😊 Also: Anyway, it was all worth it because the fire men.... Hubba hubba πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this made me laugh.
  14. 1 point
    hocico

    Glad you liked the piccies 😊

    Glad you liked the piccies 😊
  15. 1 point
    just started writing you back 😁
  16. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  17. 1 point
    From one March 9th birthday girl to another!!
  18. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  19. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  20. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  21. 1 point
    LOL, parenting toddlers in a nutshell.....
  22. 1 point
    Hey Shio! Happy new year to you my dear friend , it's lovely to see you back on the forum I was just thinking of you only the other day wondering how you were
  23. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  24. 1 point
    Or me, trying to make my favorite Ship happen.....
  25. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

    I'm just sayin'.....

    I'm just sayin'.....
  26. 1 point
    HeatherG

  27. 1 point
    I was gonna find a funny meme, but I went down the rabbit hole looking at Mandalorian Pinterest posts. So here you go, the fruits of my 'labor'.... And the single best commentary/summary of parenthood, like, ever.
  28. 1 point
    If anyone is feeling super lonely like i am but youre scared to talk and make friends, let me be that friend. I am terrified of people but at the same time I have no one and am dying for someone to talk to. Someone who will actually listen to me and not shut me down when i try to voice my own opinion about things. Someone that wont get angry at me or judge me for feeling how i feel. (I have a boyfriend of 6&1/2 years but hes not a great listener by any means and tends to make me feel at fault for any issues I bring up.. Even if its about him πŸ˜“) I so desperately want a friend who I can really connect with, someone I can vent to, to share stories with, maybe even a laugh or two (bc i could really use a little happiness right now).. overall I just want someone who actually cares about me and my well-being. I want to feel special. I want to feel important. I want to feel like i actually matter to someone. If you feel how i feel, please, let me be your friend ❀
  29. 1 point
    HeatherG

    πŸŽ„

    πŸŽ„
  30. 1 point
    Yes, give the meds time.. And I cannot thank you enough for being so kind..
  31. 1 point
    Sorry I've not been here much recently... or posted on the boards and blogs much...
  32. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  33. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  34. 1 point
    Hey 😊 how are you? I just read the red topic post at the top of the forum about needing more techy folks for the forum, sadly I don't have the skills but I was wondering if it might be worth post a listing on volunteermatch to see if there was anyone on there who might be able to help? Hocico
  35. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  36. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  37. 1 point
    hocico

  38. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  39. 1 point
    I find it impossible to be ..happy for want for a better word. Satisfaction. Accomplishment. Meaning. Yada yada. You have all heard this before. I am the proverbial broken record. Because I feel EMPTY, VOID the whole time, whenever I do something, anything or not. Camus or someone else of the existentialist persuasion wrote something to the extent: Living a life not ending up k Illing yourself is a meaning of life enough. My wording, but the gist of the original is there. Not entirely sure what it means to be honest. In my case, I put it down to cowardice. Nothing I do leads anywhere. It’s as if everything I do is a substitution or play- acting for the real thing, life, whatever it is. I realized a while back how stuck I was in my life. My job. ME. I am stuck being someone I don’t recognize AT ALL. And the true tragedy is I have been like this my whole adult life. This isn’t what I want from life. Yet I haven’t a clue(I have always been lost) as to who I want to be and what I want. I have said this a million times before: I feel dead inside. At the very least an imposter, a fake person. Nothing gives me true pleasure. Neither have I ever felt I have achieved anything. I hate my job. A lot of the crap stems from this. All my jobs have been the same in essence though. Entry level. Menial. Low pay. Dead end. I don’t know what to do any more. I am scared of the future. Old age terrifies me. I don’t want to live to be 70 or 75, living on a pittance(that is pretty much certain as I have no savings), just getting more sick. I will be dead long before that. I will find the courage to end this .. excuse of a life. Fcku this sh it.
  40. 1 point
    Mood is a funny thing. Right now I feel pretty good. I am back to martial arts with vengence. I need to do more. Keeps my mind off s hit. Post-training pint of stout in front of me, life could be a great deal worse.
  41. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  42. 1 point
    I did something today I have been putting off for ever, for no good reason at all as it used to be something I liked doing before I am also paranoid, so I am not saying what it is.. But I feel good right now.
  43. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  44. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  45. 1 point
    Hi..just found this site again after a long while. I've been taking Celexa for several years now...mostly at 10mg but am now finding I need more. Depression back. I read that you were at 10 mg and am now are taking 20 mg. How long have you been at 20mg and have you had any side effects going from 10 to 20mgs? I'm very sensitive to meds so even little change will affect me however need to stop feeling the depression and anxiety I've been feeling for quite a while now. Thanks
  46. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  47. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  48. 1 point
    I present to you your somewhat regularly scheduled weirdness....
  49. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

  50. 1 point
    20YearsandCounting

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