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I’m sorry ur going through this. The fact of life is not that you’re not important. No one is. Everyone only cares for themselves and prioritise their own lives. I always end up having to take care of my own self. I’m not brave enough to seek help now, but when I do, I have the same mindset as you, cos Im afraid of being let down, I tell myself I’m not important. I’m not really helping you I think… just saying I kinda know how u feel I guess. Learning to FLY is hard. First Love Yourself. Hope u get the help u need eventually. Hang in there!

Wishing everyone a good day. I know it is very difficult for all. HUGS

My therapist had suggested for us to create good better memories with mil so that we can try to slowly remove all the old bad memories we had. So. Today the four of us are going to the zoo. God knows what will happen cos family field trips have had their worst moments too. Hope everyone has a good today, or at least a bit better than yesterday.

Okay a lot better I feel like I got my point across appointment Tuesday

Woo hoo, way to go, one day at a time, so happy you are finding a way to refrain

Well my day has been a bit up and down but pretty positive. Time for bed now for me. Nite peoples

Had an ok day. A bit tired though cos I have a lot of regrets running through my head and the constant fear of mil being upset with my breathing. Still have to on my laptop to do some work cos I procrastinate a lot

Yay! well done cherry

Very hot today. I hope I lose fifty pounds with all this heat I picked up my new glasses from Costco. They are progressives or whatever you call them. I am trying to get used to them. The lady told me to wear them all the time so I plan to wear them when I am sleeping at night I saw my family doctor. My weight is stuck at 231 lbs. BP is 113/72. I think that’s too low for an tall guy like me but who knows. Hows everyone doing? I hope all of you get some peace. HUGS.

Im feeling better today, so far, but im still having sleepiness. Wonder if its from the meds or im just lazy/bored. Or theres still the possibility of sleep apnea.

After a grueling three weeks, my daughter is finally out of the hospital. She had a strange confluence of health issues that almost croaked her. She's very weak and will be in recovery for a long time, but at least she's home. I'm hoping she's up and active again by the time her birthday rolls around in November.

Argh, it's difficult here..I'm kinda stuck here at the moment because of my foot. I guess this is making things extra difficult. All of the people who push my buttons in life are in and out constantly, (close family members) if it's not one, it's the other....A continuous merry go round. I'm used to soooo much more space than this. I have my buttons pushed on a daily basis currently. Normally I will disappear for at least a part of the day and get some space but I can't right now. Whinge, whinge. Sorry for the whining. If my lawyer is to be believed, I only have about 8 more weeks to go and I'm free

Im feeling tired. Is this a sign of depression? Actually i still feel better on the meds though. Gonna watch my tv program then get back to cooking. That is my life.

Goodnight my fellow survivors Thanks for being there to accompany me on this journey. Let's keep on keeping on

Ah, well I guess this is goodnight from me ....Wishing those of us who had a crappy day today a better one tomorrow. Nite folks

I slept 9 hours last night. That's the first time I've done anything like that in years.

The right ones can be helpful, i found them helpful to be able to just sit and talk to someone face to face who was going through similar things and compare experiences on what helped and what didn't and get real time info not from a doc who didn't really know what it's like

tired ...and cant stop thinking about that person.. not very easy especially when I'm already dealing with depression/anxiety ...hope everyone is doing OK

oh Ive also been struggling with this lately, I really try but when the depression and self worth come in... I'm trying

You should be proud as well, you made it to day 10.

I'm feeling bored and worried....I didn't have any guidelines whatever when I got my boot for my fracture. They didn't tell me I needed crutches or offer them. They didn't tell me anything at all. They just gave it to me. I read that I needed crutches or a walking stick online and my mother went to get one for me because she knew where they stashed them at the hospital and she knows everyone there. My injury was left for a week and I'm worried that it wasn't immobilised enough to heal properly. Also, I don't know if I've used the boot properly. I'm just guessing. I've had no reassurance, no confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. It's all guesswork. I was too shocked and nervous to ask much when I was at the clinic..but crucially, I wasn't told anything. Obviously, because I had the clot, my focus has been on that for a couple of days and I haven't tried to contact the clinic about my broken foot....it's the weekend now. I guess I could try and call out of hours and see if they have any information. Thing is, I'm more worried about my broken foot than my blood clot believe it or not....walking is so important to me. I'm feeling pretty down about it all when speaking to them to know how things should progress would have put my mind at rest from the start. I wasn't pushing for information about my foot whereas I pushed to be seen about my clot and I got much better treatment in that case. I'm not knocking our health service, I am grateful but it is true that unless you push for it, it doesn't really happen for you

Well yesterday doctor went okay I have brain damage from when I was a baby the hives are for sure from stress I kinda knew that but okay got a cream for it gonna pick it up today umm not sleeping very good umm bad dreams am miserable gotta go do things today but todays day 9 of not hurting myself

Enjoying my day of insanity, it's getting me through the day and I've had alot of laughs. Now the days over yeah!!!

Struggling this eve. It's been chaos here. No escape from the noise and very unsettling after a hard day with n mom picking away at me all day. Anyway, time to attempt to get to sleep. Nite family

Talked to the doctor my anxiety med got changed from once a day to two times a day talk to her in two weeks on a good note today would be day 6 of not hurting myself if I can make it through the day ugh wish me luck

Morning all. I've managed to get a lift to therapy today so I can at least get a little bit of TLC from someone Yesterday: Me after visit to hospital and finding out my foot is broken: 'I don't wanna stay too long' (at the beach) Narc mom: 'What? WTF?' Me: 'I'm not very well. I don't expect you want to go here there and everywhere when you feel ill.' NM: 'Get out' (of the car) in snarky, playground tone. 'Youve only hurt your foot.' She seemed to miss the fact that I can't walk or drive anymore, have lost my independence and have felt like crying all week That'll be a narc for you..Today she's already bossing me about and saying I need to walk like this, walk like that, get crutches etc. It's exhausting. Wishing everyone a good enough day

True and todays day 5 I have been selfish a lot lately havnt been myself doctors appointment tomorrow so will see how that goes probably more med changes I hate meds in fact I’ll be honest for a minute the only reason I take them is because of my kids okay so stop being selfish How are you hugs if needed

Well, goodnight y'all. Sending positive vibes your way. Hope that we can all sleep well tonight and feel a bit better tomorrow

I'll be honest I've enjoyed all the times I've been to the zoo with family. I don't think I can say that about anything else. Try feeding the giraffes if they have them. You'll love it! They're so big and their tongues are like the length from my finger tips to my elbow! It's awesome! The animals will allow you to tune out everyone around you.

I was a day or two away from being homeless back in January. But here I am still enclosed within walls and a roof over my head. I'm thankful for that, but now I must speed my pace on the hamster wheel and start churning out more money. Can't wait to see the bills for my daughter's 3-week stay in the hospital. They will be in the six digits.

That’s the problem I did

You are important, be honest as you can at your apt so they can help as best they can

Well it kinda did I don’t feel so alone but I still feel like I don’t matter

You can't get help for a hurt head? Call 911 on your phone.

Celexa is the new med, but i increased Gabapentin and am also on Vraylar.

i feel ok right now. i think the new meds are working. just hope i don't start gaining weight again.

Hey sober, how are you doing? My lump is a bit smaller, I'm guessing that's a good sign. It's still painful to walk and I'm using a stick. Trying not to walk on it as much as possible coz it felt like I was gonna do more damage when I did. It's nice to have an excuse to rest but I don't like losing my foot More than anything I don't want any further damage or long term issues with it

Thanks everyone..it went really well today...last time, I was a mess afterwards with social anxiety. Maybe I'm in a better place in that way, who knows?

I just want to tell everyone to **** off

G'nite friends

I got groceries and worked until lunch. Now I'm taking a nap and resting the rest of the weekend until I have to have an important phone call on Monday. When I wake up I'm watching a movie from 1950 called Harvey about a wealthy drunk that starts having visions of a giant rabbit and everyone thinks he's lost his mind.

Apparently they are supposed to be qualified to treat you even if they didn't went through that, BUT I get you. I also feel like I've fixed nothing, it may be that I never did long therapy treatments, I only last a couple of months and they I find them useless. Then I go down down again, then I go back, then after a couple of months I see no progress, and I leave them, and that seems to be the neverending circle. That's why at some point you get to feel hopeless, like... is there a way out of feeling like this?

they work for you, without folks like you they'd be out of business, they like to think they're doing you a favor and it's your job to remind them who is the boss, call anytime you wish, the squeaky wheel always gets the oil.

They all act like that. What do I do? I keep bugging them any time I feel like it because I know their job is to deal with whatever people they interact with today and they're going to interact with me until they do what I paid them to do! Yes they hate me by the end. Yes I have to get a different lawyer next time but I don't care. My advice. Don't back down. Make them do their job.

.....Don't feel like moving at all today. Have a therapy session booked in though

....Tired today though. Moving really slowly through my day

I'm a little bit amazed that I seem to be doing ok here at my sister's place. I guess the build up of anxiety at narc mom's took up so much of my energy that even though conditions are tougher here, I seem to be doing better

I don't know I feel pretty good today. It's funny when the thing pops up at the store asking if you're old enough to buy dvds and you're 43 buying a bunch of cartoons. Seems strange. I guess some people aren't allowed to watch Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers.

Hey welcome back! Haven't see you post for months. We are here to suport each other. HUGS.

Morning peeps. Every day I'm away from narc mom I feel better about myself. I feel more like I have a right to my own life I'm up and out earlier too. I don't have to hide in my room away from her. Have a good day everybody. Love you all