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I started the chainsaw today and the neighbors got in their car and left. That made me laugh.

I have a med that help me with my anxiety 😊

I am just going to buy some 🐐 and be done with riding mowers

Oh My Goodness

Washed the dishes and gave the kitchen a really good cleaning. Oh yes and my Baby Yoda plush doll arrived today and yes I am a Star Wars nerd lol ! Now I`m just sitting at the table and listening to The Smiths.

Spent the day walking with my friend around the countryside, we did 7.4 miles in the end and it was exhausting but fun.

A kitty cat.

Yeah I'm supposedly an adult but I live most of my life like a kid on summer vacation.

I heard a commercial for an oil change place. Done in under an hour or it's free. I don't even know how to change oil but if I watched a youtube video about it I could do it the first time in under an hour. I could even include the time it took to watch the video.🙄

I was pleased with my box room after I moved the furniture around. I'm loving the minimal feel in there. It's very pared back and simple. I'm getting so minimal these days guys that I don't even have a cover on my duvet 😆 I also only have one lamp, one plant and one photograph in there 🌱 For reasons known only to the universe I prefer sleeping in my tiny box room and single bed over my larger, more comfortable room with double bed and twinkly lights everywhere. I don't even get much sleep in my box room because it's such a tight squeeze with mini lion in the single but I keep returning there, night after night 🤷‍♀️ Mini Lion is in full agreement. She favours box room and spends most of her time in there 😄🐱

That is the lying demon whose name is 'depression'. It is especially nasty that one of the symptoms of this disease is having no wish to do anything. Especially since 'doing something' (activity) usually helps us feel better. Hang onto every crumb of 'better' you can find. That sounds like a spiffy little parsley plant. For whatever reason, I also like a good thunderstorm, too. (But not the ones that bring destruction.) I think it has something to do with the high energy level.

I feel pretty good today. I finally cut down the last dead tree I needed to cut down. I need to start my own company Haven't Hit Anything Yet Inc.

Resting is helpful 🤗

Won 10$ on the lotto, eating a taco dinner with coke, eating cake, and working for cash

Hi algernon, Welcome to our forums. We're glad to have you; thanks for posting. You are with friends here. I too am middle-aged and have a life that didn't measure up to what I hoped. Or planned. Or worked very hard towards and invested everything into. Very little family (none of my own), a job that collapsed right before quarantine, no friends, no motivation, no therapist, plenty of health problems, and a 10-year wife that abandoned me at the first sign of struggle. Sometimes (often times) I'm drowning in sorrow, and the thought of another 20 years makes me laugh, literally. There are a lot of things I could say in response to your post, but the one thing I'll stress right away is don't measure your life by the lives of others. You are a unique individual, and that means your joys are unique and so are your struggles. You don't know how "successful" they really are because of their careers / statuses / etc. any more than they know how hard you've worked to present that false front. Right? How do you even know they're fulfilled? They might be faking something, just like you. But life - living - is so very much more than that. So much more. It is memories, it is experiences, it is faith, it is the magic in a single meal you made for yourself on a candlelit summer night, and it is the beauty of a sunrise that doesn't remember your mistakes and has no concept of what "might have been". If you can't think of the next 20 years (and I don't blame you), think of the next 20 hours. Or the next 20 minutes. Every moment is a choice: you can choose one path of thinking or you can choose another. And either way, I promise you that you're not alone. The handcuffs may not even be as binding as you think. Keep posting, and be well. Tym

I have a new addiction! Making cat shelves 😆😽😁 I'm going to put them everywhere!!! 🐅

There's a throbbing pain behind my eyeballs and atop my head. Worried, helpless: people I care about, issues i care about yet I have no real control over any of them. Will letting require less energy than trying to know everything so that I can control it? Bothered, distant: having to scroll past raging arguments in order to find a handful of updates about friends on social media. I bring this upon myself. Apathetic, confident, powerless, accepting: maybe it's not my purpose to teach other people that they're making mistakes? Maybe I'm not meant to ensure that people feel consequences for every mistake or slight? Where did I get the ridiculous idea that trying to correct anyone who acts or thinks differently than I do, would make me happy? If I don't show up for every fight I'm offered, this doesnt mean I'm weak or don't care.

Talking about hummingbirds with my mom. Her depression has been worse of late, a lot of what comes out of her mouth sounds gloomy and catastrophic. She grows some flowering plants out on her terrace, they attract hummingbirds and it gives her joy to greet them each day. Comforts me that mom has joys to look forward to other than my weekly visits for lunch.

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs 😂 @Nightjar

I have a new protest idea! Animal Lives Matter!!!!!!! Who wants to gather in front of negligent pet owners houses!!!!

Pretty good. I'm cooking a bite of food and mindless television is interesting today

The thought of smiling tomorrow, maybe?

Somebody I've felt didn't like me or my work reached out to say they think I'm doing a great job and asked how they might communicate suggestions more effectively so I dont feel I'm always being criticized. And I didn't retreat into people pleasing. And when I was honest they didnt get defensive. We talked and we worked it out. Reconciliation doesn't really happen that often -- or does it? Maybe just not to me.

The neighbors went on vacation and my other neighbor is hardly ever home!😃

Eat a lot , watch tv a lot, cat time, scrub porch, took out trash, oh and can't forget cell phone time 3 4 5 hours 😆😔

To describe exactly how I feel Is today "Frustrate a DF member day"??

I have been feeling so sad and helpless lately and I am struggling with dealing with it. I feel like my life gets worse everyday and that no one cares about me. I am so miserable. I cry all the time, and then feel like shit for crying. I don't want to hate myself, but its hard when it seems like the world hates me. I don't want to be me. I hate me. I am so alone.

I went walking this afternoon with the plans to stop by the snowball stand and get a blackberry-flavored one. But when I got close, I could see that there were a few other people there, so of course I ducked my head and kept going. BUT, I did look again on my way back, and this time nobody was there, so I was okay. The snowball was great!

No certainly no letter. Speaking of small town nonsense in small towns they do usually come through for each other but it's also very easy to become someone that's treated like bigfoot in small towns. If you're the strange one you're cancelled for sure around here. All inclusive world don't make me laugh. Move to a small town area. That doesn't exist here.

I walked to the lake and back and mowed my yard today.

Cats Are Cute🐅

Realising me and my friend have similar thoughts on a couple of things.

I just wanted to take a moment and tell you all that I am so proud of you for waking up to another day. I know it may be hard and I know you all are struggling, but what matters most is that you survived another difficult day- know why? Because you are strong. You have managed to fight those depressive thoughts and managed to wake up to another morning. I want us all to be proud of each other for still being here and not giving in to our suicidal thoughts. You all deserve better days and better lives, but don't forget how strong you are for facing your own battle. Sometimes, it may seem like you are waking up to the same morning or same day, but just try to believe in that one special day where everything changes. It's almost like war- there's almost no way to determine when the battle will end, but there will always be an ending. That day will come. Just keep it in mind. I wish you all the best day/night, and again: I'm so proud to see all of you who make it past each and every night. Every day you wake up to is another yesterday succeeded! Keep your heads up! You got this 🙂

I was close to giving up but then someone offered me a job on their farm. This man has known my family my whole life and he knows the type of workers dad and grandpa were at my age. That's what he's expecting and that's what he's going to get. I'm going to have a chance to make grandpa proud which is something I never thought I would have the chance to do.

I can't remember the last time I watched any Star Wars movie. I was probably a kid but yes I would love to have the baby Yoda doll.

@sober4life down the road some new people moved in and every time I drive by there two huskys are tied to the trees. They have maybe 6ft to walk around and one always lays under the truck and never moves 😭. What are they guarding? A big pile of drugs or what? What are they for if they are tied to those trees all day. Animals are to love and we are to give them a good life!!!!!

Big Fun Tommorow

The following still-revolutionary thought: "I just realized I'm a grown-up. I can eat garbage and watch YouTube all night and sleep on the couch, if I want. 😜 "

I'm watching The Price is Right and they had a grill with an umbrella.

More wood to redo the crap I did today and a dinner plate at cracker barrel. I would like chicken dumplings, okra, potatoes and gravy, hashbrown casserole and slaw.

A turtle hiding in the ivy next to me! 🐢

I walked a few miles and fixed my life for now. The 3 baby birds can fly now so every time I open the door they all fly at once out of the nest so you can imagine how that goes.

You've seen the "My Pillow" ads. One of them features a senior couple sitting on a bed covered with the new mattress "topper" that My Pillow makes. The husband uses a thumb and index finger to indicate the thickness of the topper. "That," he says, "is three inches of wonderful." Good ad men try to be one step ahead of the target group with their angles. I smile because the "three inches of wonderful" thing is a very old and venerable joke, and I expect the commercial writer or writers knew it would resonate with senior men, and women. Bulga

I feel okay. I had a lucid dream the other night, and it exhumed a lot from the unconscious. I woke up with new realizations about why my wife left me, and how far back the roots of her discontent reached. The dream put things in perspective and I woke up thinking - no, knowing - that there were mistakes on both sides, and neither of us did anything to deliberately hurt each other. We were both just immature and protective of each other's emotions. I had even seen signs early on and didn't take action. It wasn't "bad", it was just a highly uncomfortable learning process through which there was no other way to proceed. So it's bittersweet, but I'm a bit more at peace with what happened. I wish I knew how to induce those sorts of dreams...

I've been in psych wards several times. I would never want to discourage anyone in serious danger of harming themselves from going. To be honest though, I've personally always found them to be completely useless. Essentially all they do is scramble around your meds, and you go to six or seven groups a day, where no one talks. You are talked at by a social worker, or somebody like that, and are given generic advice about depression, but more often about how to handle stress. It's not like in TV movies, where people are pouring their hearts out and crying and hugging each other. I truly have never known what any of the other patients I've been around were specifically in for. Everyone would just shoot the breeze and watch TV between groups. I luckily don't have any horror stories to tell. Being at Linden Oaks in Naperville, IL was the worst, because to be brutally honest I hated the other patients. It was like being back in junior high, only everyone was in their 20s-50s. There seemed to be 200 people there at once, and the staff obviously loathed speaking to you. That was as bad as it ever got for me, though. The experience has always been painfully boring and uncomfortable at the same time, but I do realize people go through far, far, far worse. I don't believe I was ever made to go cold turkey on anything. I don't think I was ever prescribed anything new, either. They would only change the dosages of what I was taking.

I actually called the business today as another test and without saying my name over the phone she knew who I was as well.😲

Well I finally got same sleep

Yeah, welcome to life -- a totally 'mixed bag' package. Nice to see your posts again. 😉

I feel a whole lot of things simultaneously. I am high/low, here/there/everywhere. Angry/sad/elated, stupid/genius, sober/inebriated(jd and ale will do that to you, but in my case by no means a prerequisite). Confusing and exhausting. But this how I am wired.

I enjoyed my walk today. I was walking right beside the pipeline the deer usually travel. I was on the road looking straight ahead and then a huge buck deer jumped up in the high grass. He was sleeping there. We just stood and stared at each other for a few seconds and then I actually reached out to try to pet him and he snorted and ran off.