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  2. They don't think you will sweep it back on their side. Me I would sweep it back every day of my life that I was living there. Yes I would have a 30 year feud over sweeping a porch or longer. I would sweep it back on their side every day forever!
  3. Maybe you should try. I mean if it goes wrong, it goes wrong, but why not try it?I feel like one of those coaches from kindergarten whose like "Yeah, everything is gonna be awesome"😆. But it might not be, so be prepared.
  4. Today
  5. Anything I might want to have doesn't seem worth the trouble to go through to get it. I'm not sure I want anything at all. I've been in this black hole the last few weeks, because I can't imagine there is anything I want enough to live for. I don't want to be broke. I don't want to have a boring job doing work that means nothing at all to me. Being rich and doing something creative seems just as boring somehow. I don't know if I really see the difference. They both come down to making a living and supporting myself like almost everyone has done since the beginning of time. If I were the most handsome guy in the world, I would still have a face with eyes and a nose and lips and ears like everyone else. There was a young English guy my same age who I met on a Morrissey message board that I used to talk about this stuff with. It didn't end well between us. I'm dying to talk to him again. We haven't written to each other in five years.
  6. I'm scared I'm going to try to use sex to bring me the momentary pleasure material objects once did.
  7. If the nap does not help, maybe some time with a pet (does not even have to be yours) will help. Animals are great at just being there for us with no judgement. 😉
  8. Thanks! I accomplished some of the errands and plan on doing the remaining two tomorrow morning. Then I need to continue gaining ground on other matters. It is just so frustrating that every step forward seems to be followed by at least one step backwards. I do feel calmer though. Maybe the venting did help. Hope everyone is having a good day!
  9. People leave me here to die at the house. The only time someone talks to me is if they're up to something so do I want someone to talk to? Maybe I would if I thought they would treat me with any respect. People unload on me emotionally and use me and when I need help myself I can go to hell.
  10. Hey MMD, Your written English is great, and I assume it's your second language since you're Argentine. Times are tough, but I hadn't thought of shooting my brain off.😉 I knew a young guy who had bummed a ride from his home in Switzerland, and was hiking the states, before heading to Mexico. In Switzerland, he grew up speaking Italian, and he'd learned English very well after about 8 months here. He was plenty smart. He said one day, "In Switzerland, I have a one bedroom apartment with a chicken." Just Talking, Bulgakov
  11. I have an emptiness in me and I'm not sure why. Not sure if a nap will make it better or worse.
  12. What is the psychology behind someone who shares a porch with someone and the other person sweeps all the dirt on your side. And yesterday my porch was clean. Might I add that it takes about a minute to two minutes to sweep the porch. Im living in pure hell in every angle and situation.
  13. The people I know will be glad when I'm gone. Whoever finds me will have everything moved out of here with moving vans and then call in an anonymous tip saying I passed away.
  14. I'll be glad when I'm gone from this world so no one can use me anymore. They say oh I would hurt if something happened to you. But they won't be sad your gone they will be pissed because there go to person is no longer an option. Pshhh!
  15. Thanks so much!!! It turns out they wanted someone who would move to Seattle, and I don't want to live in Seattle! And it was more of a sales role, and I have little sales experience in my field Still a disappointment.
  16. I don't need 1000 days. After a year I'm pretty much as strong as I'm going to get. I'd rather have that year of sobriety and I'd like to be able to go back in time and give 20 of the people I used to know a month or so of clear thinking and sobriety and maybe they would still be here too.
  17. I enjoyed my walk today. I was walking right beside the pipeline the deer usually travel. I was on the road looking straight ahead and then a huge buck deer jumped up in the high grass. He was sleeping there. We just stood and stared at each other for a few seconds and then I actually reached out to try to pet him and he snorted and ran off.
  18. @sober4life - You Rock!!! I sincerely mean that. Alcoholism runs in my family and I've experienced and seen the damage first hand. Keep doing what you're doing and never look back. It's working. Good for you. F'king awesome!
  19. Nice post. It reminds me of Russel Crowe's character in "A Simple Mind." As part of his return to the world he often had to ask for help to decide if people he was seeing were visible to others. I do the same as you at times. And I'm always glad when I can just stop like you did here, and think critically, away from the emotion. At the least it allows you to step back for a moment. Bulga
  20. Wow, well I’m glad that you didn’t get the back seat ride in hand cuffs
  21. The thing I most miss is to talk with other people. I dont have people to talk, and this is before this covid thing, its since a long while. When I have free time and spend time online I really feel how good would be go to a site and have people to talk. But I want people who have or had depression issues, but there are no social sites for people with depression, most sites are focused to talk about depression but not about just talk and socialize. I end up just reading the news over and over, watching a film, shooting my brain off to pass the time. Any other relates ?
  22. A reverse mortgage isn't a trick to take your home. If Tom Selleck says so it must be true. You know he's always played law and order type characters on tv so I certainly believe it.🙄
  23. I know how you feel. I feel the same way. I believe in you and I know you can do this!
  24. That is all so horrible. I wish I knew what to say to easy the constant and deep pain you feel!
  25. You have my condolences. Had to put a little friend down as a kid.
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