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  2. Today I kinda have a headache tired of this lady I live with she’s driving me crazy with her damn story’s
  3. Pancakes with fruit, sausage and hash browns.
  4. Kind of tired. I have work this last week and this week. I am hoping that I will have more after this week. A bit resigned even though I have a stable job. Maybe a tad lonely but at least I do not have any drama in my life.
  5. Being able to calm myself down. Instead of letting a minor injury get into my head.
  6. Today
  7. Hollywood happiness is an escape fantasy for most people. Most people are one really bad day away from ending it all or snapping like someone on the movie Falling Down. Most people's day is just good enough to give it one more shot tomorrow. The truth is life is just about survival and we live our lives in the jungle where you have to try to keep the things you have and get the things you want and you have to fight off vicious people that will rip you apart to get the things you have and want every step of the way. The only happy people are the people in charge and the people too naive to know what's going on around them.
  8. Omg, I dreamed about that! I just remembered I had a dream I was shopping for ice cream sundae ingredients at the grocery store and I picked up magic shell chocolate topping! But it was dark chocolate. Which I don't think even exists. 🤷🏽‍♀️
  9. When a book series is turned into a movie or TV series, and they put the actors on the cover of the books. Especially when the actors look nothing like the description of the characters in the books. Or when publishers just slap on covers in general that aren't accurate to the story. When I make it a point to wear sneakers when I walk the dog now to protect my feet, but within two seconds of being outside, something bites both ankles and now one is itchy and swelling it. And I didn't feel that great to begin with, so now I'm uncomfortable on multiple levels.
  10. Cooked a roast overnight, so today it's roast beef sandwiches "au jus". My cat Sissy will get some too after she wakes from her nap.
  11. Last night, someone - I assume the same kids who have been damaging the fence - uprooted one of the peony bushes my Mum had planted. It's gone. I am already in a sullen mood because it will be 2 days to her birthday and I miss her. I hate my neighborhood and I hate these people. I want to cry but I'm in the library. I feel sad and numb lately. Life is just pain right now.
  12. If I ever consider just moving away from this hell-hole just to find someone to casually date that is attractive to me, taking a break from college, I hit a brick wall because I need to take care of my Mom, who's disabled. Since her condition worsens with time, we as a family know that eventually she will have to move into a nursing home, but we don't really know when that will be. I need to clarify something. I don't actually wish for this to happen, and that's because she's the only person in my family who I actually love. I always lie to my dad when I tell him I love him back. My brother's awful, and my dad is an idiot for saying I have conflicts with him simply because he's 'different' than me. He's also stupid enough to actually think I value family at an inherent level because he goes on saying, 'when me and your Mom are gone, he's the only family you've got.' ... Like I care. He's the type of person who I would go to the funeral of just to punch the crap out of their corpse's face. My dad, that is. My brother? I would get dragged away from the funeral, I wouldn't be able to stop punching him. But back to the topic proper, I don't think I'll have the chance to find anyone attractive to me. Because when years pass, and my Mom does move into such a place, I'm starting to wonder if I will be able to get a date with anyone else in their 20s, even if I move to somewhere like LA with more diversity, because I have no contact with people of my same counterculture offline, and these inbred idiots on any dating site I've tried said stupid crap such as 'lol you're still emo? grow up', the bloody morons. And in case you want to twist my words, my dating profiles never hate people because they aren't emo, I just plainly state I'm only attracted to other emos, so if some guy isn't but messages me anyway, I automatically will reject him. The aesthetic of emohood actually seen in real life is nowhere as interesting as it was in the mid-2000s, and I bet it will get worse. I remember seeing a forum post not too long ago (posted 2011 or briefly after, but I read it in 2017) where some member of inthe00s.com proudly stated he and his coworkers beat up anyone in the workplace in the early 2000s just for listening to a particular band on their mp3 player, WITHOUT blaring it around to where anyone could hear it. Crap is so hard to believe. Anyone I see around me doesn't get to a 1 on my 0 to 10 scale, and I think I will die a virgin. If I don't, I'll probably only ever get laid with some ugly as purgatory (in my mind) dude. Really anything sympathetic or providing a solution will help, the former because I don't think there is a solution to my problem.
  13. @samadhiSheolI have those interests as well. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to get the hell out of here. The day they find life on another planet all my spare time will be spent building a rocket in the backyard and trying to figure out a way to get to that other planet.
  14. A chainsaw to cut down the rest of the dead trees in the yard. The beginning of November after the grass is done growing I will cut the rest of them down. I've never even started a chainsaw before but I guarantee you that day they're coming down anyway.
  15. Had to mostly take the day off. Have gone through a few storage boxes full of stuff and culled some of it that will need to go in cardboard boxes for the thrift stores if I can manage that this week. Also found a tech teacher at a local high school who will take my old computers for her tech repair class. A lot easier than recycling and the disks are wiped anyway. But when I started to feel an anxiety attack coming on - the place is in a bit of chaos with the boxes right now - I just quit for the weekend. And, heck, have to remind myself I've just spent a couple weeks rescanning and/or restoring, plus uploading, probably eight dozen legacy airline images I've taken from the past 50 years.
  16. It depends, to me, on how I use it. Not a big Twitter or IG fan, but FB has worked well for me. Helps me keep in touch with friends and acquaintances, particularly those who share my interests. But when someone starts going off daily about political or social issues - though we may share interests - I quit following them/their feeds.
  17. I have always said I don't have a passion for anything. I do have a bunch of "interests" though.. I have been reading quite a bit lately. A few novels and also more factual literature, more to the point books concerning theoretical physics and cosmology. I have been somewhat interested with stuff like this since I was a kid. I seem to always return to physics/astronomy/cosmology at some point. The thing is, could I do anything with this interest? Problem is I am crap at math. I am also crap at anything to do with conventional studying. Reading, assignments and essays I can work with but not lectures and/or exams. I just don't accumulate knowledge in that respect. And if something doesn't interest me, I just can't be bothered. That would explain the eight or nine times I have quitted open university studies. Haha. All moot I suppose. At my age I have little chance at studying for a degree. In my neck of the woods they don't have a complete curriculum for online degrees. Then there is the cost and the fact I need this (crappy entry level job, can't get a better one as I don't have the clout) to pay my way. Stuck.
  18. People pretend to live the good life on social media, however, we all know that most of them do it as an act..to show off to people...everyone has their problems. don't be fooled by what you see on the screen. When i was younger, and it first came out I admit i thought it was cool, now for a while I've stopped looking at it, and i feel much better. No one knows behind those perfect couple pictures, perfect job/school, etc...life story that people tell what really goes on. Certain friends and family I have used to post all these amazing things "oh look where we went on vacation" or "look at the expensive restaurant we went" and then private message me about their problems in their relationships, etc...go figure.. I think the only good thing that I like about it is the ability I have to connect with old friends, co-workers, and relatives that live far away from me, (like in other states, etc) other than that, it's seem silly to me to post my life story on there, my every single move, but to each his own...it's the "way" and even famous people do it too, they post pictures of their families, vacations, kids, etc.. I guess i am way behind or boring ...
  19. hollywood happiness does not exist sober4life. that much i know . but i would like to wake up 1 day and enjoy my breakfast, take a walk, ..enjoy the rain , the sun, etc.. the little things that people take for granted..
  20. A nice vintage sports car with an appropriate name for him.
  21. Don't let it get to you at all Sentinel. Good on you for applying, and trying. Any successful person will tell you they've had their share of "not" successful efforts. I've gotten jobs and not gotten jobs. It's not uncommon to miss a job, for reasons other than your own abilities, or lack of them. IMO, brush up and put some effort into the interview process. I was average at interviews, and a little thought in that direction is a big part of what gets anyone a job. Brush your teeth, be confident, and relax; and you'll be three steps ahead of most applying for the job. You'll do fine. bulga
  22. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, Manicdepressive. I am 64 years old and although I only suffer from unipolar depression, it is really brutal sometimes. I can only imagine how awful bipolar depression must be. It seems like those who have not experienced these things personally cannot really understand how terrible and devastating they are. And without understanding, empathy can seem empty too. I like your icon of Jimmy Hendrix. When I was a teenager I saw a Jimmy Hendrix concert. It was amazing and I still remember it very vividly. I wish I knew what to say to help but I am struggling myself. So sorry about the loss of your wife. That is so tragic! I hope you find something that helps you. You deserve some happiness and joy of living in your life ! ! ! - epictetus
  23. Sadly i didnt get the job. It hit me pretty hard 😕
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