Jump to content

All Activity

This stream auto-updates     

  1. Past hour
  2. Outside people talk badly they make unusual sounds they also curse me
  3. I think the only choice we have is how we deal with this creature. Oscar used the metaphor of a cave. I use the metaphor of an entity, a creature that I know is wrong but doesn't help me not listen to it at times. That I have had to learn how to coexist with. Though sadly it has the upper hand lately. But changing how we think, that sometimes requires others.
  4. Oh, okay, no problem. I think my older brother is reading or recently red that book. he summed one broad conclusion for me. I asked if we really know exactly why (scientifically etc.) why we do sleep...I'd always read we don't, and he said, per the book: no. But the real question is why we don't sleep more, when sleep makes EVERYTHING ELSE better. Point taken.
  5. I can guarantee that you are not a piece of crap!
  6. JD4010

    A circle has closed

    Fascinating! I'm always struck by how many parallels you and I have in our lives. I had an infatuation with a coworker as well. It was agonizing, made worse by the fact I was still married at that time. Now I work alongside her without "longing". I have to say, it's much better this way!
  7. Sober4life, tell me about your supernatural experiences.
  8. Riverlight, I've tried to PM you. Please let me know if you've received it.
  9. I completely understand the feeling. However, you have a fan club to consider ;) I'm reading " Why We Sleep" by neuroscientist Matthew Walker. (There are YouTube videos too). Meds, mental illness, and sleep interweave in complex ways, as you know. I just want you to feel better. (Didn't mean to imply apnea could be detected by bloodwork; 2 separate thoughts. Tried to take shortcut ... I'm slow on the phone)
  10. Some day it might feel like a waste of time for me because it is so difficult that you want to avoid it. But I have been fortunate enough to have stumbled onto one who had helped me find my voice in therapy. I am not a "talker" and she described me as being relatively "non-verbal". But she never gave up trying different methods to see what worked for us. She was trained in art therapy and for the first time, it felt like I could safely "speak" through her through the use of my art work. So, I am just wondering if it is a case of finding someone or a modality that would help you based on your needs? Just a thought because for the longest time, it felt like I was getting nowhere somedays as I tried to work through my trauma🙂
  11. JD4010

    Went to the park

    Pretty! That stream or river appears to be running high. Is that from snow melt?
  12. Oh, okay, so your main emphasis in interpreting them is that the rewards are in the afterlife. If so, that makes sense. The 'shall inherit the earth" stuff could even mean the 'new earth.' I guess I tend to be overly literal when it comes to these texts...stupid upbringing never lets go.
  13. Ditto. I cancelled two procedures I was supposed to have done earlier this year. I also have a mouth full of broken teeth that ain't gonna get fixed. Who cares? I certainly don't.
  14. @JessiesMom, That's really profound and beautiful to me. It resonates with exactly what I have been thinking...for a looong time...but can't ever seem to come to any peace with. That in reality, everyone's understanding and experience of the divine must necessarily be uniquely their own. Religious systemization, among other things, I think tries to impose an order, to categorize, to reduce to a formula of theology, what is irreducibly ineffable, and not even given to adequate description through language. Re: this is what I personally think about what God is saying right now. Fell free not to agree - to be honest - I may not believe this later this afternoon." I think that is wondrous. Difficult and challenging, but wonderful. It violently conflicts with the idea of absolute truth and one narrow path and the binary believe-or-don't exclusivity of the predominant orthodox Christian message. The tradition I was indoctrinated in, championed absolute truth and infallibility of God/God's word at least (even though not of humans) as integral to his security. Lip service was given to the fact that no single person or church, etc., had any kind of monopoly on correct interpretation (although supposedly that's exactly what theology was supposed to be about and importantly so). A convocation speaker I had heard at my pentecostal university once said something I loved: wouldn't it be great if we could let everyone else's experience of god be as unique as our own? Yes. Why can't I seem to do this, myself? Are my old tapes just that strong? (Maybe there's some false comfort in thinking I can somehow know I'm 'doing faith right' or something). Maybe it's supposed to be scary. Embracing the unknowable seemed exciting as a kid, but always seems out of reach to me. I've often been troubled by the fact that those who 'hear god's voice' as religious believers are indistinguishable from those who 'hear voices' as people with schizoaffective disorder. (And as someone with bipolar II and probably certain elements of what we currently call borderline personality disorder, it hits a little too close for comfort). I don't know if agreed-to fixed reference points from dogma, diminishes or increases this fear. Maybe it's just me, and I'm such a contorted hot mess that I won't settle down long enough to breathe and just trust, for a moment. Also, what kind of church to you go to? I want one.
  15. I don't live up to them either. Not by a longshot. I'm a very flawed human being. I'm not sure of the "then" side of the Beatitude equations. Some days things seem to be randomly distributed. The "bad guys" generally "win" in the current existence and the good suffer. Supposedly our reward or punishment occurs in the afterlife. I ain't never been there (that I remember) so I can't say if it's true or not.
  16. I had blood with thyroid done I believe about 6 months ago...it showed mostly normal. (I didn't know blood testing could help determine sleep apnea). I do think it is likely that I have some degree of sleep apnea. I've come very close to getting tested. I am overweight now. I allegedly snore (it has never been proven). It's probably something I should do, along with a bunch of other medical stuff. To some degree, I kind of have given up on health in general as long as I just feel so worthless and pointless and hopeless. I know, I know, this doesn't help. I should do it while I have private (gaughing) health insurance, etc. I'll add it to my list of survival.
  17. Today
  18. You're always generous. I'm with you on the works/actions as the real substance of faith. And they do make for a compelling philosophy of living...I think all applications of the golden rule, do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. And perhaps also the law of sewing and reaping (or causation). So they're beautiful. They're how I've always wanted to live (even though I don't live up to them). Do you believe the 'if-then' promises of the beatitudes? Do you really believe, for example, that those who show mercy will be shown mercy, etc.?
  19. Calm. My new therapy is real therapy and frequent (weekly) therapy. No way. And I picked up my sleeping pill. I got one hour this morning, but I don't have to work today, so, I can lounge to study for the rest of the day. I would've slept longer, but I accidentally left my lab notebook in the lab last night (an entire semester's worth of test results - this is a legal document, interestingly.) I raced to school (as in, annoyed the people behind me because I don't race anywhere - haha) before classes started this morning and fortunately found an early-rising professor with a key. 🙂 Looking at those emails was a mistake in the middle of the night, but ultimately, I think I need to do it to remind myself of who I was, even if I'm not her again yet. Maybe I can be a better version of me, who isn't as naive and "self-sufficient." I got this! I got this! No, Juniper, you don't. Happy that I finally got all my tax documents. Turns out filing an extension is easy. I've never been late before.
  20. I really needed to read this thread today. Thank you, @gandolfication, @MarkintheDark, @JD4010, and @JessiesMom. ❤️
  21. imo, you're not being unreasonable at all. Off the top of my head, Jerry, this would be concerning to me, particularly since you were contacted by this other "friend" via THREE platforms. Like you, I'd be left wondering what other personal information this person has access to. This is a complete stranger about whom you know nothing. Speaking strictly for myself, whatever the relationship with a therapist, I'd dump her immediately and file a strong complaint. Honestly, too, I'm the type who'd immediately cut off contact. Personally, I'd be livid. Obviously other folk here may have a different take.
  22. At 1am last night I get a series of strange emails and text messages from my old therapist claiming to be from her room mate and it said that she went missing and that she was worried and had contacted the police so I contacted the police too, I contacted her work place and then I just didn’t sleep because I care about her as I do with all people I know. i stayed awake until 9am called her work place and they didn’t seem to know anything and then about an hour ago I get a message to say that she’s ok and just got lost. Apparently she didn’t take her phone with her and bag or anything. im glad she’s ok but her phone is her phone she uses for work and therapy. Her friend contacted me by email, text and WhatsApp and I image she holds a lot of people’s confidential and personal information on that phone as that is where we would talk about issues and It really concerns me that other people could read her stuff and use her phone, the friend obviously read her emails etc to get my contact information to contact me in the middle of the night and that worried me and as you can imagine when you have a therapist you have an understanding that what you say is confidential and given that we still talk from time to time about issues I don’t know what to do. i consider her a friend so I don’t want to report my concerns to anybody but at the same time I don’t know what to do in terms of talking to her about this but I am no longer sure if I want to continue talking when I can’t trust confidentiality. I am not sure if I still want her to process my information if anyone can go through her phone like that. what should I do and am I being unreasonable ? Jerry
  23. At 1am last night I get a series of strange emails and text messages from my old therapist claiming to be from her room mate and it said that she went missing and that she was worried and had contacted the police so I contacted the police too, I contacted her work place and then I just didn’t sleep because I care about her as I do with all people I know. i stayed awake until 9am called her work place and they didn’t seem to know anything and then about an hour ago I get a message to say that she’s ok and just got lost. Apparently she didn’t take her phone with her and bag or anything. im glad she’s ok but her phone is her phone she uses for work and therapy. Her friend contacted me by email, text and WhatsApp and I image she holds a lot of people’s confidential and personal information on that phone as that is where we would talk about issues and It really concerns me that other people could read her stuff and use her phone, the friend obviously read her emails etc to get my contact information to contact me in the middle of the night and that worried me and as you can imagine when you have a therapist you have an understanding that what you say is confidential and given that we still talk from time to time about issues I don’t know what to do. i consider her a friend so I don’t want to report my concerns to anybody but at the same time I don’t know what to do in terms of talking to her about this but I am no longer sure if I want to continue talking when I can’t trust confidentiality. I am not sure if I still want her to process my information if anyone can go through her phone like that. what should I do and am I being unreasonable ? Jerry
  24. I don't want to make memes on my mom and dad or on me Memes should be made on trollers and toxic people
  1. Load more activity
×
×
  • Create New...