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  2. As above everyone is saying you need to open up with your parents is true because otherwise, the case will go worst later. Open your problems and cry loudly, I think somewhere it helps you.
  3. Today
  4. Thanks BW and LonelyHiker for your show of support.
  5. Just found this online, "Guided by Medicare mandates, dialysis clinics all employ a masters level social worker MSW". Have you talked to a MSW from your dialysis clinic about psychiatrists? If your primary care doc can't give a referral, maybe a MSW can help you find one that works with dialysis patents.
  6. Practically nothing. My leg still hurts--a lot at the moment--and I'm getting tired. I also have to take a shower tonight or at the very least tomorrow morning in preparation for my doctor's appointment tomorrow.
  7. @uncertain - I think that us sensitive souls have something to add to the world that the less introspective cannot even begin to see. However, it is exhausting. Unlike you, I really get energy from the trying to put the pieces together. Idleness and contentment do not seem to be something I am cut out for. My husband has the ability to just sit for hours on end - for him a life unexamined is a life he desires. I come from a family of deep thinkers and passionate debator. Dinner at my parents often involves passionate debates on those topics everyone says not to discuss. What I have had to learn is what is wortth trying to figure out and understand - and what I will never have the answer to. In the later - it is best just to figure out what works for me and respect that others may come to a different conclusion. 😀
  8. That's ok. How are you feeling today?
  9. Sometimes, with restraint (not with meds)
  10. What about "lets wait, its fine".
  11. That's one of my theories as well.
  12. Parrot taken into custody after alerting drug dealers of cops JUSTIN CHAN, AOL.COM Brazilian authorities took a parrot into custody after it alerted suspected drug dealers of cops nearby, according to the Guardian. The bird was seized on Monday afternoon after police descended on a drug den in Vila Irmã Dulce, a low-income neighborhood in northeast Brazil. The unidentified parrot allegedly warned the couple that ran the shack by shouting, "Mama, the police!" in Portuguese, Brazilian broadcaster Globo notes. "He must have been trained for this," a policeman who took part in the operation said. "As soon as the police got close he started shouting." Police were still able to arrest the pair. In the process, they recovered drugs — including crack and marijuana — and large amounts of cash, according to NBC. Cops were less successful, however, in getting the parrot to cooperate after it was taken to "jail." "Lots of police officers have come by and he's said nothing," Alexandre Clark, a local veterinarian, said. One thing is for sure: the parrot won't have to worry about ever being a "jailbird." After being captured, the bird was taken to a local zoo, where it will spend three months learning to fly before being released in the wild, Globo reports.
  13. Hi all. I am on Day 3. I didn't feel any honeymoon effects yesterday or today although my energy levels and alertness are elevated slightly. I still have depressive thoughts and day to day stress so as of today it is difficult to say if I feel "better". I don't feel worse but I think I'm probably just a bit flat from Day 1. I will continue to update on my progress.
  14. I've had a lot of lucid and semi-lucid dreams lately...I can't really remember them clearly, only that I was aware that I was dreaming at the time. Id like to think that death will be one final, never-ending lucid dream...
  15. Could your primary care doctor possibly help you find a pdoc?
  16. Today is a good day. I was productive and cleaned the living room, it less chaos now, and loud music. Got results from the doctor yesterday saying that bloodwise I'm as normal as I can be. And he ordered me to find a councilor within two weeks. Kinda scared about that part. He didn't flinch or look at me like I was bad when I let slip I still self harm, he was just concerned. (I relapsed a month ago after 6 months of none.) The older I get the more i realize that no one cares as long as i get the job done. But I have two days off in a row and I so needed them. I am even going to try anti depressants again. The last time i was on them it took away my creativity. I need that to live. But I am having more bad days that are lasting longer then good days, and I am tired of being strong on my own. Already isolated myself a long time ago, so I'm on my own.
  17. Sounds like fun.. I wish the zoo here in Richmond had a program like that. I'd ask for the black mamba ☠️⚰️
  18. I spent all day today fighting the urge to slap myself. I flinched and shuttered. I shouted I hate you at myself and I struggled with feelings of worthlessness and despair. Some days are good. And I have medicine. But it seems to work less and I'm so tired. I don't know how to make it stop. I just want it to stop. I want to cry. I want to break something. I want to die. But everytime I go for it it is so painful I chicken out. The voices in my head just get louder. I can't hold down a job. I cant have friends. I cant listen to music. I cant function. I wish this would end.
  19. I wish I could go back and fix the biggest mistakes I have ever made
  20. Pizza and cake unexpectedly. Tuna sandwich and hot fries
  21. Please don't post anymore cat videos. There are so many on there already that no one will ever be able to watch them all or comment on all of them. Kinda ridiculous really. - #1 cat fan
  22. Thats true for alot of companies out there 😅
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