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  2. Good news: It's summer and it's nice out there. Bad news: I stink all summer because I don't care if I take a bath.
  3. I know how you feel. Family have been terrible since my mom passed away as well. Well they were terrible my whole life. Since mom passed away people either don't care or they pretend to care to take advantage of me. People are awful!
  4. hahah me too. i got rid of it ..everyone showing off their supposedly perfect life..
  5. I definitely have memories that are not worth dwelling on. Rather than erase them I try to consign them into my depression cave. My metaphorical depression cave is vast and deep and of course dangerous. I promise myself that these bad memories will not take over my outlook. Sometimes I invoke metaphorical boulders to crush the worthless thoughts and memories. The idea is to be as clever as possible with powerful metaphors. Sounds easy but it does take commitment and serious work. It can be a labor of love for oneself. Self-MEDaphoricate! Oscar
  6. Good news: I fell asleep and stay asleep all night without the Benadryl. Bad news: I have to go to work even though my knee is swollen and painful. Arthritis sucks.
  7. I have the same problem. The ghosts of the past come often. I just try to take one hour, one day at a time. I take several deep breaths when those show up and I used guided meditation. Michael Seeley has several good ones on his you tube about overcoming negative thoughts that have helped to deal with the depression & anxiety and the past hurts.
  8. I can't. All of the past is painful for me. There is very little that has a pleasant connection to the past. I wish there were happy memories or items to fill my head instead of the pain.
  9. The therapist tells me the same thing but I don't see feel it but like you I take it and hope it continues😀
  10. It's dark days.... It's all I can do to get myself out there. It's all I can do to take a shower every three days. Thank god I work in an office. I've been doing my minimal route - about 5-7 minutes, depending on how my ankle is feeling. God, I love hormones. Not. I really need some positivity and encouragement this week. Wed July 17th .28mi/6 mins - so hard to get out.... Thu July 18th .28mi/6 mins - and a shower. I feel like going back to bed, but I have important reports due Aug 1 & 15. So work it is. Fri July 19th .56mi/9 mins Sat July 20th Sun July 21st Mon July 22nd Tue July 23rd Friday, July 19th: Dark days might be starting to lift a little - I actually went on my medium length loop this morning. Granted, I couldn't get out of bed when I wanted to, but I did it - and I felt a tiny bit more energy about doing it than I have the last week or so.
  11. Yesterday I was so sad because it has been three months since my mom died. I was and still angry at her brothers, sister, and so called friend. I don't know I feel this way because I'm grieving, but they know how they treated my mom. I was tossing and turning all night.
  12. Good news: The new film about the life of Pavarotti was very interesting 😊 Bad news: I couldn't resist the urge to shout out "bravo maestro" at the end.
  13. 105 heat index here today. Most people would stay inside but I'm not most people. I'm an idiot.
  14. @AtraThey will eliminate you a lot of the time if you have a mental illness. There have been times where I wrote letters to the court about my mental illness to get out of jury duty.
  15. Maybe a little. I keep going back to Battletech books and mechwarrior games. I do not go back to or think much about my past. Most of what I think about my past is extremely negative even though those memories are a very small amount of time.
  16. Upset. Had less hours than I wanted at work this week. I have been having issues breathing and have been thinking pretty negatively so that is not a good cycle to be in.
  17. I'm grieving something, and I don't know what. I can't get to bed because of it.
  18. Wish I could wipe clean many of portions of my past which keep haunting me. Bad memories and experiences pop up at random during the day and even in dreams at night. Reliving so much of what I need to forget or not react to. Lately they seem to be controlling my present life, not willing to take risks, trust, or maintain a good sense of self. I know my depression would be better if I could find a way to put these feelings into perspective, or just forget them entirely. Wondered if other members might be dealing with this, and if so how you are dealing with it? Really would appreciate any input you might have.
  19. Are these the people you were thinking of asking to take Spot? Because that would be wonderful for him and you.
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