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  2. Well did a little today, returned some stuff to stores, took the plants I killed outside, and cut all the branches off a dead tree. Guess it is something....
  3. Today
  4. A couple vivid dreams this week: One I mentioned elsewhere was giving a peck on the cheek to my ex, who died in 2002, and he gave me an affectionate peck in return. I knocked off for a few hours this evening and had a flying dream, too. Flew over a relatively calm ocean in the sunlight towards a lovely green, low-lying coast where I knew the weather could be socked in by fog. So I had the thought that, well, I've seen it, and did a 180 back to where I'd departed. Rather peaceful.
  5. Quentin, I've been severely depressed for 11 years and then I found out that my meds contibuted to my depression (mainly clonazepam or klonopin). I don't say that everyone should quit their medication because of my experience but meds sometimes do more harm than good. Well now I'm depressed because of withdrawal but also because I lost so many years of life because of my own...how to say it...my own stupidity. Ok, I'm praying for you, may God who is good and kind bless you with joy, love and peace and money:)
  6. looking for the lost key to the box at the bank, which I have been doing everyday this week. Just can't remember where I put it the last time I had to look for mother's important papers she stored at the bank.
  7. chair yoga tonight turned out to be standing while doing the moves. worked the heart muscle as well as the other muscles in this old body.
  8. Why did the church condemn Machiavelli's writings? They were too rational.
  9. Hello @quentin360, Have you asked your doctor about good studies that you could go over to get good information?
  10. Hey all, I'm with my fiance, he says hello. Everything is okay for the most part, and I'm safe. Hope you all are doing well, I'll update you when I can. Things are a bit chaotic.
  11. I feel so tired I didn’t even do much today it’s been that way for awhile but hey I don’t feel to sad so I’ll take being tired any day worried my doctor won’t believe that am actually in pain but I’ll live if they don’t 😞 why must I worry so much
  12. I'm like that with movies or shows. If there are a lot of characters there's no chance for me. I might watch 4 or 5 years of the show before I get the characters straight.
  13. I get the courtesy responses you're talking about. People say what they have to when I'm around and then goodbye like you say. People don't even pretend to care anymore. I'm on my own sink or swim and that's it.
  14. Why bother is not the right word. I dont know how to say it. Its kind of "me with my own world".
  15. I know very well how you feel my friend. For so long when someone asked me how I'm doing, if they are close friends, I now hesitantly tell them about my severe depression but I'm tired of talking about it because I feel like they are tired of hearing it. I tried to talk to my sister about how depressed I've been but she cuts me off and ends up arguing with me that I'm not trying hard enough. I've been suffering with this severe depression since I was 12 and now I am 51 and I have been through about 11 treatment centers over the years and I too am at a point where I have lost hope and have absolutely no idea what to do. I was put on yet another new medication today so maybe that will help. As far as you asking for help perhaps you're not asking the right people. If you are not in therapy or on meds consider that and perhaps go for an inpatient stay at a treatment center where they are there to help. You're in my prayers my friend and I hope both of us can have some joy soon
  16. Yesterday
  17. quentin360

    life goes on

    nojoy, I know very well what you're talking about. Along with my severe physical disabilities I have to deal with this damn severe depression, but by God life goes on whether I wanted to or not. I live alone and the loneliness kills me but I do volunteer at a local ministry and for the most part it helps me get out of myself but a lot of times wherever I am, there I am with my misery. I tried desperately to be an optimist but that's easier said than done. I do contemplate ending it all every single day but I don't and life goes on. I do hang on to the thought that things could get better right around the corner but that starting to seem ridiculous to me but I hang on. You to hang on my friend and possibly these may get better with you. As hard as it is try to be good to yourself as best you can
  18. High of 56 and I got my walk in. I'm going to keep walking for now but the indoor exercise prison is closing in on me. It will be here by the end of the month.
  19. Often when I'm reading a book, particularly a fantasy book, I have to write down all the characters names with descriptions and relationships, so that I can remember who's who. Otherwise I get confused when I'm reading. I only remember having to do that once when I read a book as a kid, but now I have to do it all the time or I mix characters up.
  20. How do you start a conversation with a fish? Drop him a line...lol
  21. Hey I know exactly what you mean. When things are going good and you tell people about it somehow it seems to sabotage her progress and I don't know why. I've gotten to where I don't tell my friends or family when I'm doing really good because I'm afraid it will turn around on me. But keep up the progress and if you have to just keep it to yourself.
  22. Standing In My Way by Debbie Harry This has always been one of my favorite Debbie Harry solo songs. It's from '93, but exactly the kind of fun pop-punk Avril Lavigne would do a decade later.
  23. Right now I feel like I would do anything to get over this depression because it's been going on for far too long. The doctor started me on Depakote and I just took my first one. I would appreciate any input from anyone who has taken Depakote and how it has worked for you. The doctor also asked me to check into TMS and ECT therapy. I don't think I want to do ECT but the TMS therapy seems promising. If anyone has been through the TMS therapy please let me know how it went with y'all.
  24. I don't exactly hate it, but it's been hard for me to appreciate Pink Flamingos. It's more boring than anything. The first time I saw it when I was 15 I wasn't shocked, offended or disgusted. I was bored. I thought and still think Female Trouble is far better. I've come to appreciate Flamingos more over the years, onceI realized it's not supposed to be enjoyed like a typical movie.
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