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  1. Past hour
  2. I need to put up a basketball hoop here. I know someone that has a hoop that they're not using.
  3. I drove past my yard today and actually looked up at my parking spot and was surprised I wasn't home.
  4. Today
  5. I feel the same way. I can't stand these days where my to do list keeps piling up and up and there's nothing I can do about it because a lot of my problems have to do with other people helping me so I'll be a wreck by the end of the day.
  6. Yes, can Duloxetine use over the years cause emotional numbness? I used to feel emotions, but now I don't. This may be due to the use of antidepressants, or due to the fact that my doctor and I began to dig in childhood injuries, and such a defense worked.
  7. Well I don't see the stay at home thing happening. What I meant is they were seeing if we could survive on that amount of money. If they went to a basic income for everyone they would probably become a country that will choose what job you do. This country is right on the edge of becoming a socialist country.
  8. I cut my own hair again. Used the 3/8 blade guard this time for a closer cut since it's anybody's guess when barbers and salons will reopen. I figured I'm totally a pro, you know, having used electric clippers once before on myself? So I removed the blade guard to trim around my ears, do a little shaping. But the razor slipped in my hand and now I have a 2" hairless line right above my right ear! 🤣 if I wear glasses, no one will know.
  9. @Smophie I want to write more, but my hands are quite aching right now. :( ButBut I'm thinking that the most effective way I've ever gotten over anyone or anything was oddly by submersing myself. After long enough, the like mystery wears off. When I block them out, I'm just depressed and still think of them. :/ But if it was a situation where they got spooked by me, that would totally suck. So i know what that might be like for you as a very similar thing happened to me with my non celeb "CO". But I try to avoid acting similarly as I did with that one, so I dunno. Ok, well, it's time to rest so ttfn!
  10. Competence, yes. Don't think we're likely to excel though, but why should we anyway? I know for a fact that I've had countless times when I could justify to HR going on long term sick for mental health but I've never been able to justify it to myself. Sometimes I think I'd be worse off if I were off work, even with all its frustrations and stresses. Now I'm coming at this from a British angle, I have no idea what protection there is in the US. Here, for now at least, we've got the Equality Act which makes it illegal to discriminate against a list of protected characteristics, and mental health is one of them. Course, as far as employment goes it's worthless to anyone who doesn't have a permanent contracted job with guaranteed hours. I've had over 20 jobs and only one of them has been permanent. I once did three years as a temp in the same place, no guaranteed hours, just fortunate that they kept coming. If they wanted rid of me they wouldn't have even had to sack me, no disciplinary routes or procedures or anything like that, they could've sent me home mid-shift or called me telling me not to come in any time they wanted and I'd have had no come back. Still, there's a hell of a lot of lipservice out there from employers who want to be seen to care about mental health, but very little to back that up.
  11. Family dentist is a great option for dental health of your whole family. Whether it is about kids, adults, senior citizens or any other member, a family dentist can treat all of them and help to figure out their issues at once. Also, a family dentist will be able to know about various your family have from generations. https://www.mantecafamilydentistry.com/new-patients/
  12. Lonely, if not for the trees. And my herbs. And the local birds. I last touched a human the first week of March. If I'm lucky I'll be able to do it again the first week of August, and then never again, as far as I can expect. That sounds like a Twilight Zone episode.
  13. A lactose tolerant digestive system (and the means to install it). I miss ice cream and fried mozzarella sticks and coffee creamer.
  14. Hi ImperfectAlly, Thanks for posting. It sounds like you're really struggling. I'm very sorry, and I hope that you can find solace here. I'm not a physician, but I'd like to offer you some personal insight, if you're interested. Your story sounds extremely similar to my own. I am guilty of being the one on the depressed side. My partner (also of ten years) began to burn out after caring for her autistic son (and neurotypical daughter) for 15 years. Although I moved across several states to be with her and help her raise her children, I brought depressive tendencies with me (as well as, apparently, codependent ones), and on the miraculous day that her son was accepted into a group home, she began to feel as if she was taking care of me as well. And, as an adult, I should be responsible for my own welfare. She hit her breaking point when she realized she couldn't be herself, and she couldn't enjoy her life, because of the demands of someone else. The details are a little different from yours, of course, but the important part is this: as the depressed, codependent one, I never would have chosen to leave her, never. But she somehow found the courage to detach from me so that she could stop being a caretaker and focus on her self. She forced me to leave, and it was painful for both of us, but afterwards (less than a few months) I realized that she alone had possessed the strength to do something that I never could have done, and it ended up being the best thing for both of us - even if it didn't feel that way. Something inside her just "knew" that she was sacrificing too much, and her instincts were telling her to take action, and she listened. In the end, regardless of how painful the actual separation was, I actually came to respect her (and be attracted to her!) even more, because of her independence, willpower, and commitment to a better self. It was nice to see someone who refused to be dragged down by my black hole of a soul. And because she is such a good woman, she and I continue to have a good relationship today (even if from a distance :). I'm not by any means suggesting you "leave" him, but if you know that you're burning out, it might be wise to accept that fact and commit to its reality, no matter what course of action it does lead you to. I emphasize that as the perpetually depressed party of the two, I never would have chosen to do anything that led to a separation. I would have siphoned her goodwill forever and ever and ever, and she would have grown to resent me and feel great guilt, and our relationship would have been ugly at its core. Similarly, I also wouldn't have failed to support myself if forced to - when push came to shove, I did find a way to keep going (thus disproving the "commitment" to my depression and further reinforcing the validity of her decision). So, again, her taking a stand was the healthiest thing for both of us. It just sucked on the emotional front for a while. Does this insight help a little?
  15. Hi katcdn, Your post was very touching. And very familiar. You are very much not alone. It's okay.
  16. wouldnt she want to see my whole face to know what i look like?
  17. Yesterday
  18. I hope everything goes well my friend. I'm here for you if you need me.❤️
  19. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I struggle with any loss or changes and our other cats are sad and one of them wont each much so I got to keep on eye on her. Next week we bring Jasmine home and I sold my phone or rather downgraded it to a cheaper one that does the same so that I could buy a small cat statue to keep her ashes in and remember her by and also a keep sake / urn pendant to keep some of her ashes in also, it holds up 16 kg and she was only a small petite cat. I also ordered some prints that I can frame them myself to save money. I am struggling to sleep at night but I try to put music on and settle down. I am moving away from social media, I can close down my account but still keep messenger working so I can keep in touch with people because I am just fed up of the cyber bullying, I met the wrong group on facebook, I left when they were being horrible and I left so now they instructed their members to target me. I got some blank disks coming to store my photos of our cats on. Photos are important to me but I don't take that many anymore because of my poor mental health but I want to try and take more photos. I got a lot to do in the coming days and weeks but the most difficult is going to be transfering Jasmine askes because I don't want to mess it up or get it wrong but they cant stay in a cardboard tube for long becuase A: this place gets damp and B: the cats like cardboard and love to play with cardboard so its got to be my first job when we pick Jasmine up from the vets but I am thinking that if I transfer her using a plastic container then if there is a mishap then the plastic container will catch any ash that falls. we could have got one from the vet, a container but I wanted to choose her final resting place.
  20. I am definitely not an expert, but it is my understanding that an aquarium can be helpful but in a different way. Watching fish in an aquarium has been shown to be calming and can even help to lower high blood pressure. A pet that you can directly interact with (touch) like a cat, dog, or guinea pig can have different benefits. The actual touch can be similar to hugging a person. Dogs need to be taken out for walks which encourages you to get out of your home and exercise. Cats (well, most of them 😉) cuddle up which is comforting; and their purring has been shown to have health benefits. (The exact effects are still being studied.) Also, needing to take care of a pet and their attempts to get your attention help keep you from dwelling on downward spiraling thoughts. I am sure there is more information on the internet.
  21. There is no peace in isolation for me. The days where there's nothing to do are just the days where I sit with endless worry about whatever awful things are going on at the moment. It would be different if I had help but nobody cares if I live or die. They just never want to see or hear from me again.
  22. People who act respectful even when they don't know me. People who don't expect me to be exactly like they are. People who see me walking down the street and smile or wave instead of running inside and peeking out the window.
  23. Hi louis2008, Get out of there. I would find a way - any way - to avoid visiting those places where the re-ignition happens. If you're like me, you feel like walking away would allow the "other" argument will gain strength and spread and fill the world with its horrible wrongness. But remember, most of the people who like to argue on social media do it because they have nothing else to do, and they're looking for a response and they relish the combat. They want to feel like they're pushing somebody's buttons. If you think about it, fighting with them is more of a victory for them than just leaving them alone. If that doesn't work, do physical exercise. When you feel that edgy energy rising up, physically put it into something. Once, on a similar whim, I ordered a white wax staff and learned quarter staff fighting and it was awesome. I got pretty good, developed self-discipline, gained confidence, and the whole thing was much more fun than "fighting" on social media. Whatever you choose, just don't forget the very important step of calming your mind afterwards 😉
  24. It is not your fault. You're extra special for many reasons, not the least of which is trying to help. ❤️
  25. Last week
  26. Before I begin, I just wanted to say that this is my first post on Depression Forums. If I have made any kind of mistake in terms of where I posted this or anything really then please let me know. I have never been officially diagnosed with OCD; however, after a bit of introspection and some online research I wanted an informed opinion on my thought process. I am acutely aware of the interconnectedness of our world. By extension, I am also deeply in tune with the immense pain that pervades it.This has inspired me to reduce the harm I cause to other sentient beings. While I am certain that this is the path I wish to follow, it is not without its problems. Harm reduction doesn't end at one's direct action but, in fact, extends to indirect action as well. It has become more evident over time that I cannot eliminate the indirect harm I cause, since this is the price of maintaining my life. Despite this, I am still wracked with guilt. Every bit of plastic that I use, every wasted drop of water, every particle of food wasted hurts me. There are countless incidents every day that feel like personal failures, even with the knowledge that I'm probably doing the best I can. So, I would like to hear from anyone with experience with scrupulosity. Whether you think this sounds like OCD, something else, or just feel like chiming in, I welcome your input. Thanks for reading.
  27. Good: cat really likes his new toy 🐅 Bad: family quarrels all day 😣
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