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  1. Past hour
  2. Hot and humid and downpours when it gets too hot out there. June has been garbage for the most part.
  3. The same sentiment here, BW. This has been tough to share, even on DF. You're about the only people with whom I'd trust this kind of intimacy. To reassure some newer folk, I'm not in immediate danger. And I'm months from any final decisions. Meanwhile, too, I'll have ups and downs as usual, such as today's stifling heat sucking the energy outta me.
  4. I'm a 19 year old female and I have been suffering with depression and anxiety for many years and still suffer quite bad although I would say I am probably a lot better than I used to be but of course I still have a few bad days. My boyfriend, who I have been with for 2 years was diagnosed with depression last year and has been struggling extremely bad since and I believe it has been affecting our relationship but I feel like I cannot discuss this with him without upsetting him so I can't really have a discussion with him and when I try I end up feeling bad and just pushing it aside. He was put on medication late last year but it wasn't really working for him as he ended up quitting his job 3 months later because of his mental health and so he's just been sitting at home not really doing anything which I believe is bad for him as it is making him feel extremely lonely and he expresses this on a daily basis but I cannot always be around as I have university and job commitments. This year, I moved to university (still in the same town I just wanted to move on campus to get the full experience and I see him pretty much every week still) and I didn't even get through my first week there without our first 'fight' over university. Everytime I went out with my friends he would text me saying that he was really lonely and wanted to **** himself and this seemed to have been brought on by me being with my friends as he was normally fine otherwise but it meant I was just feeling upset the whole night and I would usually just leave early to try and console him but it just brought me to tears everytime because it's gotten to the point where I consider not going out with my friends just so he doesn't feel lonely. I've tried to include him in some of these things but he never wants to come which is fair enough. I feel like that even when I am meant to be preparing for exams I should be spending time with him first as he will say he's lonely and misses me and says he can't do this anymore as I am a slightly longer drive away (but still in the same town). Last month, he started attending counselling sessions and he is still unemployed but those don't seem to be working either but he doesn't even want the help, his parents talked him into going to therapy and he just sees it as a chore unfortunately and i've tried to be encouraging but it's getting too much.His depression seems to be mainly 'caused' by his family life as his mother has been abusive to him and his father for many years and she constantly brings him down he can't even say hi without her shouting at him and I feel awful for not being able to do anything as not even his own family is supportive. My bad mental health has resurfaced and I told him I got a new job for summer whilst I was not at university and his initial reaction was to say that he wanted to **** himself because he was just sitting at home doing nothing with no friends and that he wouldn't even get to see me now. It made me feel horrible and I don't want to seem selfish by saying that but it really made me feel horrible because I just wanted him to be happy for me but that never even happened. I'm not really sure what to do anymore as he says he loves me and wants to live with me but at the moment I can't see a future between us if he can't accept the help he's being offered but I can't bring myself to leave him as i'll just feel horrible as I love him too but he even said he feels unhappy thinking about me sometimes because I remind him of the things he doesn't have.
  5. Today
  6. You don't have to apologize. Mom did the same thing with my brother and I and I told her she didn't owe me an apology. All 3 of us were victims and were terrorized by a monster. You and your kids were in the same situation. You were all victims.
  7. I so feel for you. Grieving these kind of loses are important. Hope you get through the process and that other good things can happen to replace what you have lost. BW
  8. I think it is always good to acknowledge another's feelings. That is important. Yet if you don't realize you did anything wrong then the other person has the responsibility to ask you about it. Maybe they took it hard for some reason that is inside them that you aren't aware of. Misunderstandings are understandable for us humans. Yet I do think that we need to take responsibility and acknowledge our part and make amends if needed. If we think we have hurt someone's feelings, we can ask them about it and clear the air. BW
  9. Your post helps me too to feel less alone with my own depression and anxiety ! ! !
  10. I am also praying for you Logan. You are very important to us here on the Forums. You help me and so many others feel less isolated and alone with our own personal anguish and pain. You are a real treasure! You are also so gifted with language. Your writing about depression is so poignant and poetic. I wish I knew how to help you feel better about yourself and your life! - epictetus
  11. I feel for you. Wishing that the next 2.5 years go fast for you. It is understandable why you are so grieved by this. I think depression makes all things harder for us. Hang in there. BW
  12. yes close to 80 dollars, i guess i'll ask them why because they were supportive of it in 2008, i just dont know what changed then.i mean they watch everything that's marvel related and im a power rangers fan and it's no different than them, i just dont know what they are affraid off.
  13. @nojoy thanks for the great post! I wish you the best in your job search and in your life. BW
  14. It sounds like something someone on meth would do but is it really possible to train a squirrel?
  15. @Laura123 I have really appreciated your commentary. Your validation is really well received.
  16. tired247

    Scared

    I've been going to therapy ever since I was 14. Since then I have had a new therapist almost every year. Soon I just gave up stopped going all together. Back then i felt like they were all leaving because of me, as if i was pushing them away or maybe they just didn't want to tell me that they wanted to stop seeing me so they all just say that they quit or something. My heart says that its not true and that they are moving or they got a better paying job but my mind just says it's all your fault; that I was too open or too closed off, that they thought that I was lying the whole time. I know they all had different reasons but it took a huge toll on my conscience. Since then I thought I was doing well without one and that I was getting better on my own but recently I feel like I'm slowly slipping back into my depression and a part of me is wanting to go back but I'm scared that I am going to just get a new one after a bit. Should I just suck it up and go back or try some self help?
  17. So I've been reading/researching this DMT and psyche delics...and I'll probably be on this for a while until I try it therapeutically. And came across this yesterday: The ancient Egyptians used the blue lotus water lily for psychotropic trips. it either contains DMT, or something quite similar. It turns out Moses (who was historical regardless of the accuracy of the OT), at his famous burning bush experience, where he received the Torah and was the only character in Biblical history to ever "see" god and live to tell about it. I don't think this is altogether new, but a professor of cognitive psychology at Hebrew University in Jerusalem, theories that Moses (and lots of other Characters in the bible), likely did have visions and experiences with god, because they used the acacia tree and peganum harmala bush, both native to the Negev and Sinai during religious ceremonies, and the native acacia trees are very high in DMT, the peganum harmala is rich with MAOI, if used together, together, essentially ayahuasca, which produces 'trips' in people much, much longer in time than short-acting DMT alone, and in which, yes, they see visions and think they encounter godlike experiences. It's kind of funny, isn't it?
  18. Getting a solid hour of sleep at nighttime, and I still have two hours before the sun rises.
  19. A spider crawling in my mouth while I'm sleeping. Being crawled on by any creature.
  20. Thank you so much for the welcome, I've been pretty good, for years I haven't had a depressive outburst and keep getting better and better. The best way is usually, I do tell myself that it is a disease, what I am thinking is not right, it is part of the insanity and that I will hurt other people if I keep letting out burst of anger. When I do talk to people, I tell myself aswell to give in to my ego, they are right in what they have to say. I tried to keep calm and burst out crying and we have had a long talk about how I'm feeling, I was being idiotic again with my feelings, that they were not true. We are going to work on a meal plan on Sunday and see how I go, I put my ego aside and accepted I needed help to loose weight and thankfully my fiance is there to help me... I'm trying to take it as a "bad day" and give myself a week to heal, just do more things that make me happy and not ask too much of myself to do at once...see how'll that go...
  21. Common fluoxetine side effects may include: 1. sleep problems (insomnia), strange dreams 2. headache, dizziness, vision changes 3. tremors or shaking, feeling anxious or nervous 4. pain, weakness, yawning, tired feeling 5. upset stomach, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea 6. dry mouth, sweating, hot flashes
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