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  1. Past hour
  2. Hang in there and try to get some rest. Being welled rested should give you a new drive to move forward.
  3. Its true KidSurvivor2011. Dealing with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues is never-ending. You have to look deep within yourself and find inner strength from somewhere. Why? Because your life is worth fighting for even when you feel like you are drained of everything and just want to leave this world. Its those dark dark down in the pit days that drains us the most. I try to tell myself that this will past and it eventually does. So hang in there and try to find a support group you can attend and draw from their strength. Remember, you are no alone. DF is here and we won't drive you away. Sending you a hug. Lindahurt
  4. Today
  5. Wife and I doing laundry.She even said she got me something,a new pair of heels.Is supportive of me and sees me like any husband and told her I love them
  6. Hello Evergreenforst4, Thank you. It has been years of counseling and self-work during some of the most challenging dark days of my life to get to place. It will be whatever I choose to make of it. I refuse to let the battles of life rob me of a fruitful and rewarding existence.
  7. I did a short walk at the lake today. It was nice but I had some trouble from a couple of scallywags.... My body wasn't feeling up to walking much further today.
  8. Hi Hurricane! Nothing admirable about my 'not giving up mentality' at all...other than trying to stress that point as much as possible with my son who has given up so many times in his young adult life I can't count them. Pretty cliche what drove me(still does?) to be that way. All about an extreme fear of failure. Not sure why my mood took a very downward turn this past week. Could it be the WB? I miscounted in my earlier Post. It's only 3 weeks/3 days. I wish I had a better recollection and/or some record of the few other times I began augmenting WB back in the day. Need to somehow find a way to get out of this current reflections/regrets rut I'm stuck in. Gonna try to find a more consistent structure in my daily routine. I actually twisted my wife's arm about 15 years ago to see a marriage counselor. It wasn't too helpful back then(I put that more on the counselor though) but I would do it again in a heartbeat if I thought she would be open to it! I could be wrong, but a big issue regarding all of this is that after 30 years and especially since 97', I've come to the realization(?) that her viewpoint of what a Man/Husband should be is NOT being "touch feely'.....or should be "Strong/Silent"???? As always, TY so much for your supportive and insightful comments!
  9. Discovering Holly was not easy at first.As young kid,I discovered the interest in female clothing at a young age.It included make up.This started when I was 8 years old.Did walk in a few pairs of mom's heels at times and mom didn't have a problem.Dad,I never did it around him a lot.He was not good to me at all,physically and verbally abused me including my half brother.Dad caught me wearing a dress when I was 13 and beat the crap out of me.Mom felt guilty not reporting it at first after telling her this.It was verbal abuse from my half brother too.Mom did finally report it with my dad and half brother arrested.were charged and convicted.Mom let me be me and knew I was not the masculine son letting me crossdress.Age 18,seen a gender specialist because mom and the school counselor were concerned.Opened up fighting when to dress as Holly at times and mom was there hearing it.Finally I was diagnosed with being genderfluid at age 18.Decided to stay dressed as Holly and mom saw me much happier.I am glad to have her in my life,she loves me for who I am
  10. you aren't supposed to stare at it directly. just put it somewhere near you when you can see the light. when its dark outside...try to get a cheap or used one on amazon or even ebay...it might help
  11. What would I do? I would stand in front of the store where this happened to me and tell every single customer that walks into the store my story.
  12. Yeah it works really well and helps me with a lot of relationships. It is kind of like taking the limit in math, you find a trajectory with a person sometimes it can be positive, negative or unknown so you kind of take a limit to think about the trajectory.
  13. I will be starting Effexor at 37.5mg Sunday morning and I am worried about the possible side effects and possible worsening of depression and anxiety. After trying so many meds for Depression that weren't effective my doctor and I decided to try Effexor. I know everyone is different but if anyone could share their experiences on what I should expect, I would appreciate it. Thanks
  14. I also want to welcome you to the Forums I am so sorry for the terrible ordeals you have suffered. How heartbreaking! Hopefully these Forums will prove helpful to you. They have helped me a lot. Looking forward to reading your posts.
  15. It has 11 to 22 hr half-life, so it might take two full days before you feel any possible withdrawals. I had the same with sertraline that has similar half life. Also a lot of people don't advice quit meds by skipping and prefer tapering the dose down.
  16. Is it continuing to get worse? One thing you can do is order your groceries online and either have them delivered or pick them up.
  17. Welcome to the forum. I agree, work with the Uni and see what kind of help they can offer you. I am impressed that you are doing alot of positive things.
  18. Yesterday
  19. I've been doing landscaping around the yard. Why did they leave a bunch of big rocks on the property you ask? I don't know. I swear some of them are just an old sidewalk that they broke up and threw over the hill.
  20. Hey watalife, my brother has a cat that has to weigh 30 pounds. I never saw this cat move off her blanket until I brought out the laser pointer I use to play with my cat. Jade waddled herself chasing -ok more like walking- trying to catch that little red dot. I still haven't brought a new laser pointer. And if I walk into my brother house, the goofball thinks I have the laser pointer.
  21. The Zoo. Behind the scene in 5 zoological parks in NYC. I want to go.
  22. Apparently there were tornadoes close to here again this morning. I went out this morning without knowing anything about it. I'm getting very sick of this.
  23. My mood fluctuated couple more times. I also should be more careful with the time I take bupropion, because it wakes me up, and when I wrote previous post I was severely sleep deprived and didn't know it. I also increased my daily sertraline and it made me much more stable. I guess I can't make it without enough SSRIs. It's also hard to tell what's wrong, because I feel physically sick and I doubt it was because of meds. (more like it's cold and bad food choices). So all my current meds are 50mg sertraline, 225mg bupropion, 100mg lamotrigine, 1g of fish oil and 5mg of memantine. I'll keep updates in case someone would stumble upon this thread and find it relatable.
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