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  1. Past hour
  2. Pizza and cake unexpectedly. Tuna sandwich and hot fries
  3. Please don't post anymore cat videos. There are so many on there already that no one will ever be able to watch them all or comment on all of them. Kinda ridiculous really. - #1 cat fan
  4. Thats true for alot of companies out there 😅
  5. No one here will think any less of you if you don't go on your trip. We all understand how you feel. At least you have downloaded the passport application, I haven't taken that step yet. And I'm coming up with all kinds of reasons not to go. As I said, only you can decide what's right for you.
  6. Yesterday
  7. Welcome malo! Glad that you are here with us. Depression can be so awful to live with. Hope we can support you well. BW
  8. Had to do more than give your post a like @JessiesMom . Well said and funny! I have 2 half-brothers - one by each parent. Neither seems to be introspective. Both seem happy, or at least generally content with life. I certainly have had life experiences quite different from both, but my particular genetic mix seems to have produced a sensitive spirit that spends too much time in her head. Gathered signatures when in elementary school to encourage some company to stop using colored toilet paper because somewhere I heard it polluted rivers. Brought home and tried to heal the deformed chicken that hatched in the classroom incubator (my grandmother sang Amazing Grace at the funeral we had for the little bird). Part of why I loved mathematics was that I could prove I was right (and therefore was worthy in my head). When I did struggle on a problem - Voilia - THE answer was in the back of the book. Now "answers" are everywhere for things that may not have answers (or at least not answers yet). I'm *not* advocating for living an unexamined life. I wonder if some of us (me) don't know when to turn it off. I wear myself out being in my head too much. That starts the indecisiveness / confusion, then the anxiety, then the procrastination, then the depressed mood. Over and over and over again. But when I get out of my head - watching whales off the Oregon coast, seeing the feral cats trot up for dinner (with tails up and talking to me), pruning the roses - I'm content. Well, I guess I''m content (!) - I'm not aware of any ruminating, reflecting, worrying. So basically, I have no answers for anyone and am considering not even posting this. (ah...can't decide). But who knows, maybe it'll spark something. And even if it's stupid, I do believe my friends here will be kind.
  9. If I had that I wouldn't have lost the most important being in my life and I would not be as depressed I could at least cope @Rattler6
  10. Hello, I would also like to talk with anyone :) have a nice day!
  11. Don’t worry about your child’s everyday stress. (Marc Boutavant/for The Washington Post) By Jennifer Breheny Wallace April 23 With reports of adolescent stress reaching epidemic proportions, concerned parents are left searching for ways to prevent or minimize pressure. But a growing number of psychologists are pushing back against the modern view that stress is wholly unwanted and unhealthy. While chronic or traumatic stress can be damaging, psychologists say normal, everyday stress — in the right dose and viewed through the right lens — can be helpful, pushing adolescents to grow beyond their limits and setting them up to thrive. Ask any great performer on the field or stage, and they’ll tell you a healthy dose of stress is key to reaching peak performance — but too much of it can make you choke. Researchers say it’s often how a person interprets a high-pressure situation, rather than the load itself, that influences how they experience stress. Your child's everyday stress may be helping after all. [Teen suicides are on the rise. Here’s what parents can do to slow the trend.] Healthy stress is motivating, focuses attention, and primes our minds and bodies to face new challenges, be it taking a test, speaking in front of an audience or standing up to a bully at school. Stress turns unhealthy when it feels bigger than our ability to cope with it, fills our minds with worries and hijacks important cognitive resources that could be better spent mastering the challenge at hand. “Anything that asks us to work at the edge of our current capacity is stressful, but that’s how we learn and grow,” says child psychologist Lisa Damour, author of “Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.” “It’s easy for kids and adults to fall into the assumption that if it doesn’t feel good, it’s bad for you,” she says. “But as anyone who has exercised knows, that’s not true. Stress, even healthy stress, doesn’t feel good in the same way that lifting weights doesn’t usually feel good.” Parents need to be at ease with the idea that their child will be uncomfortable, and that it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. In fact, a growing body of research finds that how students view their stress — as helpful or harmful — can influence their academic performance. In a study published recently in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers set out to explore whether a 10-minute stress-reducing exercise performed before an exam could help students improve their scores, especially those from ­lower-income backgrounds who have been found to have particularly high levels of stress and anxiety regarding tests. Researchers studied nearly 1,200 freshmen at a large, diverse high school in the Midwest. Before their midyear and final biology exams, one group of students was given a “writing intervention” and asked to spend 10 minutes writing about their worries about the coming test. (Previous research has shown that writing about one’s anxieties helps to diminish their intensity and frees up cognitive resources.) Another group was given a “reappraisal intervention,” where they were taught how to reinterpret their anxiety as a beneficial, energizing force. (Past studies have found that re-framing stress to a more positive view boosts performance.) A third group of students was taught both interventions, while a control group was asked to simply ignore their stress. The researchers found that using one of the three interventions (writing, reappraisal or both) helped anxious students better regulate their stress and significantly improved their test scores. Study co-author Sian Beilock, president of Barnard College, says that, at home, parents can help adolescents reinterpret signs of stress in positive ways. For example, your pounding heart is not a sign that you’re about to fall on your face, but a way of delivering blood to your brain to help you better focus. Humans are “limited capacity systems,” she says, meaning we can’t really do two things well at once. By reappraising your stress and focusing on the positive, rather than spending energy ruminating on the negative, you’re able to free up the cognitive resources needed to meet the challenge. A powerful thing a parent can do to help a student diminish unhealthy stress is to keep things proportional — talk about what is being asked of them in proportion to what it actually means, Damour says. She says it’s helpful to be explicit about putting tests into context by saying, “This test is a measure of how well you know this material today, not how well you’ll do in the future, not how much your teacher likes you or how much you like her, and not how much you are loved by us.” To help an adolescent distinguish between helpful and harmful stress, Damour says, ask your teen to visualize life events in three buckets: things that I like, things that are a crisis and all the other things in between — these are the things they can handle. For example, if a child is having four quizzes in one week, that’s a moment a parent can say: “I understand why you don’t like this. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s not a crisis,” Damour says. “This falls into the category of being something you can handle, and I’m here to help you handle it.” At its best, stress not only energizes us to hit challenging goals, but it can build up a store of psychological resilience that can be accessed to meet future challenges. Adolescents can build up a tolerance to stress, what researchers call stress inoculation, the way marathon runners build up their endurance: by gradually pushing themselves beyond comfortable limits, Damour says. Think of it as the difference between bringing home your first and second child. “You’ve already been stressed in this way, built up this muscle, so the second child doesn’t overwhelm you the same way,” she says. The next time your adolescent comes home complaining about the stress she’s under, listen, validate her concerns, and then offer a more positive, adaptive view. Help her see that stress isn’t the enemy. In fact, it may be one of our most undervalued natural resources, one worth preserving to help us grow, rise to the challenges that lie ahead and push us to reach our full potential.
  12. This is just how my life goes. I called a bunch of psychiatrists yesterday. No one will take me as a patient. Not a single one. Either they say they don't know enough about kidney disease to make proper adjustments to medications, or their practice is full. I just can't win. This is the story of my life. Even psychiatrists won't help me.
  13. Not a nightmare, but a bit disturbing. I dreamt I was with colleagues(some from previous work places) on a coffee break or something and suddenly I realized that one of my ex-colleagues (who WASN’T present in the dream and irl has actually retired) was dead. When I woke up, I was sure she was dead. I’m getting ready for bed now and I still feel ominous as to has she in fact died. I don’t know her well enough to contact her. Unsettling.
  14. To lay the ground work for my current musing, I will have to tell you a little story. My eldest son is just finishing up his sophmore year in college. He started out as a math and secondary education double major. Then he changed to a math minor and elementary education. He has recently decided to change both his major and his career path. He wants to be a school guidance consuler - so he will be getting a math minor (it's basically finished) and a Child learning and development degree. Then he will get a social work masters to allow him to do what he wants to do. The most recent decision seemed to come out of the blue - but that seems to be how he does things. He feels like he is getting push back from his advisor and his dad. He is having trouble understanding why they are not accepting and supporting his decision. One of the last times I spoke to him, I realized why that was. My son tends to make decision rather quickly. He does not really discuss the pros and cons of the decision with people ahead of time. From the outside - it could seem that he is not really thinking his decisions through - hence the push back. People want to make sure that he will not regret his decision later. From his perspective - he rarely talks to anyone, but rather does his musing internally, so by the time you hear about his decisions - they are made. Your best course of action is to support him. I tend to do the same thing. I think of it as instinctive decision making, but really what is going on is that my internal thoughts and feeling are coelescing around a conclusion that only feels like a revelation when it is finally expressed. How do you make decisions - and what might people who are not you think wrongly about your decision making process?
  15. Sound advice. Thanks for that, @uncertain1.
  16. My heart goes out to you, Sentinel2, I wish I had some great advice for you, but what you wrote could describe how I felt before getting a job when I got out of school. It was so unbelievably scary and agonizing because I suffer depression and anxiety and panic attacks. Hopefully you will get many responses to your post . . . helpful responses. I am so glad that things went better than you expected! I do want to thank you for what you posted. It will help so many people here on the Forums to feel less isolated and alone with their own terror of entering the workplace So I and we are so grateful to you. I wish I could write more but I am battling a terrible bout of tendinitis in my hands at the moment so I must be brief. Thank-you again for helping me and us here. You are a special person in our eyes. I only hope that we can somehow be as helpful to you as you have been to us ! ! ! - epictetus
  17. Countryman and MargotMontage, thank you for your replies.
  18. Alright, I'll have to take a look and see if CBD oil would be good for my situation. Thank you for the suggestion.
  19. Shocking how we only hear bad news nowadays. Thought we could use a thread to post any good news. Because there is still so much good going on, even if the media won't cover it. So heres to feeling a bit better about the world we live in :) Britain breaks its record for the longest continuous period without generating electricity from coal. The national grid reported that the coal-free period lasted more than 90 hours before coming to an end during the afternoon of easter monday In february there was a report that showed that Britains carnivorous mammals (polecats, otters, pine martens) have made a major comeback in population size from a near extinction in the 1960s . Badger populations are estimated to have doubled since the 1980s Global terror attacks fell by a 1/3 in 2018. And deaths caused by terror attacks feel by a 1/4.
  20. Hi! Sorry you are in distress. What you described sounds like suicidal ideation. By itself it's not a sign that you're actively seeking your own end. It's more like a coping technique, the appeal is in knowing that you have ultimate control over the source of your pain, anxiety, worry or whatever. And some people who don't suffer with mental illness do use ideation sometimes when stress is overwhelming it gives the illusion of control that we seek. We don't want to rely on ideation for comfort or distress tolerance so it's a good idea to rewire your brain away from it. Cognitive therapies are very helpful for this. In the meantime they not to dwell on it as it'll be more difficult to let suicidal thoughts go if youre pondering their meaning. As @BeyondWeary wrote, thoughts are like a flowing stream. Or if you prefer, imagine thoughts to be like the letters in smoke from a sky writer airplane. Let them come then let them go.
  21. And yet that might be a better problem. If you're looking to try a new distraction, there is one I use for managing anxiety: reciting a spelling alphabet. Alpha, bravo, charlie, delta, echo, foxtrot, golf, hotel, india, juliette, kilo, lima, mike, november, oscar, papa, quebec, romeo, sierra, tango, uniform, victor, whiskey, x-ray, yankee, zulu. Learning a spelling alphabet takes time and that's really the point of it. Time spent struggling to remember what word goes to what letter is time not spent on habitual negative thinking.
  22. This is really common. It can be called Deja Vu, or it could go by many names, but it isn't a symptom of a psychiatric disorder. It could make you feel uncomfortable, but it's very normal and it's not something to worry about.
  23. Hi Cathy! I just wanted to say that, while I am not 62 and thus not experiencing the same level of pain, I have withdrawn from multiple medications, too, and I can say that even though it's an awful experience, it does pass. I hope that, as I write this, it has already passed, since this post was left a while ago. All the best!
  24. Well, it does seem that withdrawal is real. Mostly people who say it isn't really just play with semantics, in my opinion. It's like how doctors evade it by saying they're 'dependency forming' rather than 'addictive'. Still, it's all about weighing risks and benefits.
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