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  2. whatever, you do, don't give in to it and continue to fight it with all your might. Begin to seek out help and go get some help from the professionals to help you to be better able to cope with it. I'm praying for you my friend that you can soon get some relief from this anxiety.
  3. Happy Birthday @AloneGuy hope you have a great day... Save a piece of cake for me! Nightjar
  4. Stuck in the biggest rut I've ever been in my life. No where I can go. Nothing I can do about it. Anxiety weighing heavy on every part of my being.
  5. I don't know because everyone feels something different but I do suggest you go the doctor if you have not already gone because it could really be something major going on with you. I hope everything turns out well for you. Be blessing
  6. Today
  7. I'm not feeling my best today but I'm still trying to do my job in the CCU and hopefully I will still be able to make a difference in someone world today.
  8. Thanks for the replies guys ❤️❤️ im doing ok, I actually had a pretty good week which I feel like I havnt had in ages, but always after ive had a good week the following one is a huge downer. Do you guys feel like your bad days are worse on your days off because you have nothing to occupy your mind, so it goes to really extreme dark places and you're like "brain, wtf are you doing?!" hope you are doing better @mmd thats exactly how I feel too, all the time, and people can say "just keep holding on, it gets better" and im like "when is the better coming?!" I try and tell my brain to stop going there, and this isn't me, Its ****ed, depression is so debilitating and its almost impossible to tell anyone what its like because on the outside you look normal and fine but really you want to die. Thanks for the support, it helps to remind me that im not alone and am not the only one struggling like this, love ❤️❤️
  9. Welcome new friend to our forum family. We are always here for each other. Our goal is to not leave anyone behind in their depression cave. Old Man Depression tricks us into thinking we are lost and trapped within oneself. My approach is to try to play clever tricks right back on Old Man Depression. We all have unlimited access to powerful metaphors to counteract the debilitating effects of depression. Anyway welcome again and check out some other posts for support and meaningful insights. Oscar
  10. Well, I'm sorry to hear about your break up and the depression problems that are causing you some problems. Hopefully, things will begin to get better for you and I'm looking forward to talking with you real soon, Be blessed my friend
  11. I'm new here, just had a quick browse around the forum, and it looks like a great place for support, for everyone going through mental health issues. I'll start by saying i'm a male from the uk, and suffer from what I feel has been progressive depression over many years, at first, I felt like it was something i could control, as it didn't affect my day to day life, but now it seems like it has spiralled out of control. Probably because recently, I had a bad breakup with my ex and was with her for 9 years, and it also saddens me that she has already moved on. I don't think my breakup is the sole reason for my depression, because I feel in my life, everything has gone wrong, from friendships, to work and I feel more and more people have been distant with me, I just feel like i am at a point now where I feel so lost, and alone and really don't see a bright future ahead. I do hope being a part of this forum and reading all your stories and journey's fighting depression, can somehow inspire me to change and get better... thanks for taking time to read this x
  12. Very bored. I think I will start cleaning and do it quick so I get tired. Then hopefully I will enjoy the evening tv lineup.
  13. Brain dead mixed with I have to get out of here is how every day goes this time of year. If you look at the forecast and see mostly highs in the 30s who would be happy?
  14. Damn! I'm very sorry. What a kick in the teeth. Thinking of you and your grandma.
  15. I forgot that I did see her a couple of times of 8 Simple Rules, and the sight of her playing a run of the mill, white bread sitcom mom completely unlike Peg Bundy was surreal.
  16. The expensive item I waited 2 months for is already broken. I knew it was a bad sign when he kept lying and putting me off week after week for delivery. I should have known and walked away from the get go. But he was saying you can trust me I wouldn't do that to you. He bad mouthed the other companies and said ours is better, but I've never had an issue like this with the other brand. What kind of world do we live in when we pay thousands for junk. I can't wait for the end!
  17. It's my birthday and my wish is to do absolutely nothing at all today 🙂 Just staying home and relaxing. This afternoon my parents are treating me to dinner and I've decided we'll just order in. I'll probably use DoorDash to get some burgers or maybe some tacos. Oh my parents got me a new printer, which is awesome as my last one broke years ago and I never got around to buying a new one.
  18. @Atra I would like to say Bravo! For being a facilitator I have a peer support group I attend once a week. We meet in the Mental Health building. We take turns facilitating but not obligated to if we don't want too. I've found the best part is right in the same building is the walk- in Emergency where there's a department for one to access an emergency mental health therapists. So whenever one of us is triggered or having a difficult time we can be seen by a qualified therapist to get the help we need right away. We also go for coffee afterwards 😊
  19. I finally got back on the treadmill today for 5 miles.
  20. If you'll look at some of the research (actual research studies) done comparing the effectiveness of saffron as an antidepressant to an Rx antidepressant (Prozac is one I remember), they found it to be as effective as Prozac without the side effects -and no unpleasant withdrawal (something drug companies don't like anyone to talk about when it comes to antidepressants). I am a strong believer in reading actual research studies, though I'm also aware that statistics can be skewed to suit the researchers and whatever drug company is subsidizing them. Getting to the truth can sometimes be very difficult. The difference in this case, to my mind, is that no one has anything to gain by promoting saffron. It's been around forever, no drug company has a anything to gain by people using it and it can be used for cooking or to make tea - some people prefer it that way. I'm starting to feel more stable, so I'm thinking about starting the Wellbutrin XL. Mylan still maintains that they are going to keep making the immediate release and the XL but no longer making the SR, but that the immediate release in on back order. We'll see... This is off topic, but as an aside, my stumbling upon saffron was in my search for a vision supplement. Optometrists had been pushing AREDS on me for several years, but I was skeptical about the research, subsidized by Bausch and Lomb. The more I read, the more skeptical I became. I just didn't think AREDS was that great (my opinion), but it did contain some elements that could be helpful as vision supplements. That's when I ran across research about saffron as a vision supplement, not knowing about its antidepressant qualities. Imagine my surprise the first time I took it (I was relatively stable at the time but with my usual dysthymia) and suddenly I felt actually happy. I wanted to do things. I didn't know why. Later I found out it was the saffron. Since I've been going through more depression recently because of a lot of stressors, the saffron has helped to keep me afloat, it motivates me to get out of bed, to do things. I can't say I'm happy at the moment, but I'm used to not being happy. As I told my husband, I'm just glad not to be miserable.
  21. @Atra Thankyou for your feedback. This information was provided by evajar services ~ An everlasting consultancy company.
  22. Thanks for the heads up. I'll bring an umbrella when I head out the door. 😂 (Is this the first of seven plagues?)
  23. I head feels like I have minor pressure on front and both sides of head. My head feels heavy. It doesn't hurt but feels weird. In addition, when I am watching TV, etc. I tend to start zoning (just empty stareing at the TV). I am starting my 3rd week of not feeling like myself. I know it can take time but getting inpatient. Thanks for your responses in advance. Lance
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