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  2. Thanks Charlee. It's good to know there are people who understand. I'm glad to see you got a part time job, that will be better.
  3. Thank you Juno. I was allowed to work from home today and it's better. Although I'm doing a really boring task and am so sleepy. But even if I could lie down I wouldn't be able to sleep.
  4. I would join some group therapy in a heart beat, but I’m in the french part of Canada, and English groups are too far for me to motivate myself to get to. But you never know....
  5. My allergies have gotten much worse in my life. I remember as a kid I had to worry about poison ivy. Now I can go out there but I can't really touch anything. Just walking around not touching anything sometimes I'm coughing.
  6. Today
  7. That is the worst. If there are any dental schools near you, maybe you can get work done there? They do that here. It takes longer, because teachers are checking the students' work, but costs less.
  8. It is Ohio so I'm sure it's snowed at some point here in June.
  9. Of course I would sit by you! With emotion or not! I'm actually seriously considering joining a mental health meet up group very soon which meet up in the park.... So I might see you there!!
  10. Thankyou. My cat has improved from her acute sickness at the moment but she has bad anxiety like her mom! Her anxiety makes me anxious and vice versa. She has always been 24/7 demanding of my time but with her illness on top it's been really difficult. I think we are getting there in terms of quality of life being diminished for both of us and I feel like we may not have long left. As sad as that is I think that there will be some relief in the suffering being over.
  11. Running in the morning, haven't been doing extra stuff for about 2-3 days. A bit tired and giving myself some time to recover.
  12. I think you've hit the nail on the head. There's no other way to learn how to be around people than to be around them. Once you have more confidence with people, dating should be more natural. I find baby steps are always the best way forward. Maybe build on making acquaintances, then friends and then dating? You can do it! I need to do the same.
  13. If what you mean is that this community could benefit from focusing on personal growth and change, I endorse that. And I believe this community can hold space for expression of feelings like isolation and abandonment. Those feelings represent the experience of many who seek a safe harbor here.
  14. I bought myself some new workout gear and i'm going to yoga tonight, feeling "good" atm, hopefully I dont get too anxious and lose my nerve to go
  15. I did it, I finally finally applied for a part time role in science that id actually enjoy and not being full time so hopefully itl allow me to build some confidence and help get me used to leaving the house and being around people again while still giving me more than two days off a week to recover
  16. Yeah, im receiving it right now but its only enough to pay your rent and necessities, which is ok for short term and I'm not complaining because I know other countries don't have that, but yeah, its only enough to get by until you become desperate enough that you must return to work again.
  17. Does disability for mental illness exist in your country?
  18. gosh the 40s is cold! its 60F rn, grey, overcast, drizzling rain. Moody New Zealand .
  19. I'm currently sitting on my bed listening to six60 with my sleeping cat in the corner on her favourite blanket. The weather has been rainy and moody all week, i'm contemplating whether or not I should get my CV in and then go to yoga. I bought myself a nice smelling candle because I love candles, they add a calming presence to the room. Last night I started to get embarrassed about what i've posted recently on here, ashamed at how pathetic I am. I have a lot of plants that im letting die because I find them too overwhelming to care for. I have an obsession with moisturising my skin, I do it at least 5 times a day, face, arms, body, everywhere. I have a fear of dry skin and showing age... even though its inevitable. Im thinking about another trip home but I cant really afford the trip. I also think I need to get my ass sorted and put out my damn CV in because I didn't move across the country away from everyone I love to stay at home. Life is hard, thanks for stopping by to read this random stream of thoughts.
  20. I feel overwhelmed most days. Then add in the overthinking things and I'm headed to bed to hide. The therapist says pick one thing that needs to be done, set a timer for 5 minutes and if you feel like continuing when time's up, that's good but if you stop at 5 minutes that's okay too. Unfortunately for me, I beat myself up alot about not getting things done.
  21. Sit near me, I am told I am devoid of human emotion!
  22. I feel this, and I wonder how people get so much following online when there work or posts etc are similar to yours, like how tf do you get yourself recognised? it only seems like its for the select few people who've got "something" I dont know, but I feel your frustration and hopelessness. but writing fan fiction is a hobby, so you've got one, just keep writing, keeping sending into the competitions, do it for yourself because its obviously something you like. Dont give it up, and maybe itl turn into something, ill have hope for you because I cant have hope for myself
  23. I have learnt this lesson, but I struggle to come up with conversation because my crap is at the forefront of my mind all the time and I feel like I have to blurt it out so people understand why im so awkward and weird.. but yeah thats not the way to go. So how do you do it, any advice for slowing things down.. I will eventually date, right now im absolutely not ready, but maybe if I can build up some tools and know how to act around people I could get there.... ugh im feeling like a terrified nightmare right now.
  24. So I deleted it, I couldn't bring myself to meet someone I dont know or trust. God I really cant do it.
  25. same, I just forced myself to go to the supermarket and I was scared, like actually shaking. I dont know what it is. On Sunday I felt like I had a normal human experience where I went out with my flatmate and his friends to a Mozart opera and then dinner at a Japanese restaurant and it was nice, tho I couldn't get out of my head I was quiet and awkward and scared. Ugh and then yesterday was a bad day, people trigger it for me too even though Im trying to get myself out into the world a little life is hard.
  26. Thank you, I do feel better today
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