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  2. ChopinLover

    How Is Your Weather Today? #17

    Sunny and cool (47 degrees). It’s supposed to reach 63 degrees this afternoon.
  3. Rattler6

    How Is Your Weather Today? #17

    Half clear and half cloudy. With a nice view of the mountains to the west. Sadly I am tired of seeing them.
  4. Rattler6

    Post your day in 1 word.

  5. Rattler6

    what are you watching right now?

    The workers building a big project in town from the peace of my truck.
  6. samadhiSheol

    Creativity When Depressed #3

    Anima, or the Void After my Fall After the realization Of emptiness, despair And all that jazz I had a vision of you So many years ago now And today I saw you again Well nearly She looked a lot like you Just like the last time After the Epiphany Years ago Somewhere In an ancient city Of an empire now gone I saw you sightseeing Where I was too I looked at you For quite a while And my heart skipped a beat When you turned towards me but Then I turned away Because it wasn't you after all But this girl on the train Just an hour ago This time all dressed in black Leather pants and all Blonde hair all over the place blue eyes Smiling at something I could barely keep my eyes off you But then I did glance away Because it wasn't her It wasn't you My Love If you are out there perhaps it's not you I seek Perhaps it's me Perhaps it was me all along The Halo Of blonde hair The blue eyes Opposed to the Pitch black holes of mine The Passion The connection The acceptance Warts and all Something to Gently turn around Make something out of The utter emptiness That is indeed me So perhaps all I need Is the Girl within To make me whole Or at least To make peace with myself The imploding Void
  7. Rattler6

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Eating right and maintaining a healthy level of activity is important. Then again I have always been a small and fit guy.
  8. Today
  9. Whoa! That's great news. I really hope it continues to help you improve!
  10. JD4010

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I used the laugh emoji on the original post because this struck me funny. But yeah, food generally doesn't do that. It only makes me fat. On edit: more accurately, stuffing food down my gullet makes me fat.
  11. We must have been in a Vulcan mind meld or something because that's what I thought too.
  12. JD4010

    Tell Us About Your Personal Journey

    Thanks. One of my coworkers noted my 30 year anniversary, but my boss had more important stuff to attend to, apparently.
  13. JD4010

    Tell Us About Your Personal Journey

    Thank goodness you found her! Sorry you've had such a rotten time.
  14. abandonD4purpose

    Terrible week

    Sounds like you are on the road to recovery! Keep up the effort! I've also found support from pastors and mentors. Have you considered either of these options? Prayers,
  15. emptyinsc

    So confused

    Yes, sometimes I do overspend and make really rash decisions. I'm ok today, I'm trying to stay busy with work to keep my mind off of things.
  16. Rattler6

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    You can reach escape velocity.
  17. jeremiah

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I'm making a list today of all of the items I REALLY need to take with me on my next move. I'd really like to leave the furniture here. Whether I like it or not and regardless how much I spent on it, I'm just so sick of moving it all around. I must have moved 20 times in my life time. If not more. I will work it out and post it here lol. Mostly, I've been running away from my family.
  18. jeremiah

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Sometimes 'You just gotta do what you gotta do.' I've tried a million different ways to have some sort of meaningful relationship with my family members and I have bent myself into a million different shapes to try to get along with them. Now, I just want to be myself. I don't think that's too much to ask.
  19. sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    It's very sad what you wrote. I agree with everything you said though. I'm planning my exit strategy myself. There is no fixing things with my family. I have never fit in with them because thankfully I'm not like them. Life is short I'm going to make a happy life for myself away from here. It's not quite time for that but it will happen soon.
  20. Hello ChopinLover and welcome! I understand you're presently struggling with symptoms and I want you to know I get how difficult it is just get through the day. Symptom remission and relapse is a typical aspect of depression. With help from medication, therapy and your willingness to reach out for advice and assistance I have no doubt you'll learn the skills to help you manage your symptoms. Like physical recovery, it's a process and the first skill to employ is to be patient with yourself. Congratulations for the steps you've taken so far! I sense you're frustrated and a little disappointed that depression keeps you from enjoying activities and socializing. That's a very common aspect of the illness. Do be compassionate with yourself. I think the decisions you made concerning the invitation to lunch and a movie demonstrated knowledge of your limitations as well as courage to test those limitations - and this I admire. When I began struggling with depression, I isolated. Confused by my moods and the expectations of friends, family and my sweetheart, I could not express how I felt. But when I finally did I discovered that those closest to me accepted "the new me", limitations and all. They were just happy to have me in their lives and I bet those who love you will be too. My best, Atra
  21. jeremiah

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Yep, I understand. I feel like I brought myself up and so I grew up the hard way. No support, comfort, security or peace of mind. I swear if I'd been given half a chance I could have made a decent life for myself. I'm hoping I can make a start soon, on my own terms. I say soon, because I'm still trapped in my family's toxic web and all I can think of is how to escape. It can be done but it will mean no contact and moving away. Getting away will most likely be fraught with their interference but this may be my only chance at some sort of peaceful life.
  22. sober4life

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I feel the same way. My whole life I have been afraid of family most of all. That's why I always say I want a family of my own. I have to have that. When family hurts you you live your whole life with an empty feeling.
  23. iWantRope

    What Did You Do Today? #2

    Went for a job interview in the afternoon. It's a rather nice-looking place.
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