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  2. Thanks. I'm up and down. Still see no point to any of this. I'm mostly dealing with intense dread and anxiety right now. Absolutely no idea where it's coming from. It's very, very deep.
  3. I don't wanna post this - and I've already been particularly testy today - but this is the only place I can be candid. Y'all are jus' gonna have to bear with and let me vent. I'm considering it might be better for me to exit sooner rather than later (in some vain hope "things will work out," someone's god will "save" me, I'll win the lottery, etc.). I've done all the "right" things to no avail except to just maintain a reasonable quality of life. And that's about to go to hell. I've done the math. I've responsibly done what I've can with my exit preps (legals, kitty, museums). Unsurprisingly, the GoFundMe, for example, is being ignored. Hell, I'm in my 60s (even having now outlived Dad by a couple months), lousy health, no support IRL (no, as usual, never heard another thing from that pastor). What did I expect? otoh, I could drag things out with a stressful move to a place I don't even like that, given my history the past several years, would likely put me back in the hospital. Spot would be stressed with a new living situation in which I couldn't guarantee his continuing care - I couldn't live without him - even worse if I end up hospitalized again. And even budgeting heavily, I'll be in poverty by year's end, eviction, etc. Simply, as I see it, being witness to my quality of life decaying irrevocably - the very point I made here four months ago - is effin' pointless.
  4. Frosted Flakes I would think I would eventually turn into Tony the Tiger at some point after eating so much of it.
  5. Today
  6. I made chicken souvlaki for dinner, with pita and tzatziki sauce.
  7. I would do anything to take away your pain.😟
  8. Am okay it’s been a long day not hurting as bad as I was yesterday so that’s good I don’t know how more of this not feeling good and hurting I can take
  9. Yesterday
  10. I used to have heartburn constantly until I started dieting and exercising. It could be the vitamins but it's most likely the things you're eating and the stress level in your life causing constant heartburn and sickness.
  11. I mowed the yard for the last time this year!😃
  12. My internship starts tomorrow so wish me luck!
  13. I'm playing a city building game I invented for myself.
  14. In a field I am the absence of field This is always the case Wherever I am I am what is missing Part of a poem by the great poet, Mark Strand. I recommend the entire poem. It is short but I cannot quote the whole poem because of copyright.
  15. I went to the train station to ride the Amtrak, but things make it impossible today. The westbound train is stuck behind a BNSF freight train that derailed and is blocking the only two tracks on the Transcon. No one knows what will happen now. One possibility is that Amtrak will have buses transport passengers from each passenger train to the other. And then have those trains change direction. If the tracks were to be clear soon, the east bound train might not get here until 2 am or later. I hope no one was injured in the derailment on the BNSF train.
  16. 15 minutes of aerobics and some lifting.
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