Jump to content

All Activity

This stream auto-updates

  1. Past hour
  2. So am like always beyond tired lately went from sleeping enough to live to sleeping way to much oh well it’s better then being awake
  3. Am sorry hope it doesn’t happen and also if it does it not so bad
  4. I'm grateful that I don't live in an evacuation zone. I'm grateful that we got our supplies (canned soups, water bottles). I'm grateful that, if we have to, we can probably go to my dad's since he has a generator.
  5. I've been keeping up with the two laps around the neighborhood. But honestly it's not exactly pushing myself, but I am really out of shape right now.
  6. Today
  7. I'm freaking out about this hurricane that is coming toward us. It's supposed to land on Wednesday or Thursday and I'm not emotionally ready to deal with it. Last time we had a hurricane, we lost power for four days. Just thinking about it and the possible effects makes me feel like I'm going crazy.
  8. Me too. Have you heard from evalynn lately?
  9. I'm worried about @evalynnand everyone else living in Florida.
  10. I'm the same. I can't always help others when I'm struggling hard. I'm just happy to see you posting coz to me you're an important member of my DF family You always have a chair here waiting for you. Hugs.
  11. Your guess is as good as mine at the minute Lawyers won't even speak the me
  12. Glad to hear your headache is gone. I get headaches when I am least stressed.
  13. When are you moving in? I forgot.
  14. Thanks for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I don't have anything in my background to compare with yours, but I do wish I could get rid of some of my 12 prescriptions. For me, the physical pain is under control without any controlled substances, which is a blessing. It's anxiety that drives me to the meds, but I don't seem to be able to find a happy middle ground between nervous wreck and zombie. I'm thankful that I have the meds, otherwise I would probably be self medicating, but I resent needing them. So I have a love/hate relationship with them. I've tried going off them before and it didn't go well. I know that I need them, but I don't want them. I know I should make peace with my need for the meds, but it's something I don't seem to be able to let go of. I hope I can someday let go of those feelings.
  15. Yeah it's so stupid. I've been using the self checkout and usually someone still has to come over and give authorization for something.
  16. Hey everyone I hope you all have a good day today. I rolled out of bed at the crack of 11am lol. I had a really bad headache last night but it's better now.
  17. They seem to be good at finding places where we won't come into contact with them. Fun to watch though, and the one in my garage has an egg sack now.
  18. Oh cool. I still need to watch last night's episode, but I like the show so far.
  19. I called to my lawyer again and complained a bit. Apparently now my message has become urgent Will I hear anything? Who knows. Least I tried and didn't just take it lying down.
  20. Yeah, that's a good idea. I called the agent and the lawyer and both of them ignored me. I'm back at the apartment now but yeah, I could call into the agent's office at some point. ...I've had it for today though. I couldn't take any more rejection so I've called it a day
  21. If you're at the house you must be driving so why not go to their office. I mean you expect this to be over by the end of the month right? If they're ignoring you that's complete crap!
  22. Are you sure that hair loss is associated with drugs?
  23. I'm probably not the person you want to hear medication drama from, but it has a somewhat happy ending. Back in the day when we used to communicate I was drugged to the max. I was one of the fortunate chronic pain patients that doctors weren't afraid to help before the oxycotin and fentanyl crisis hit. After we stopped writing I was loaded with even more drugs. At one point there were 18 prescriptions bottles on the kitchen counter, and that didn't include the high dose fentanyl patch I wore. I had tried for years to get my doctor to take me off the fentanyl patch, but she was always concerned I would morph back into that suicidal, pathetic, eating-disordered creature writhing in pain and problems and PTSD she'd been presented with years previously. She'd rescued me from the pit with her prescriptions pad! What if she took away their magic? You want to see people freak out? Tell them you're legally addicted to fentanyl. They will immediately treat you like a street junkie. When I would casually mention I also had medically-approved prescriptions for stuff like Extra-strength Vicodin, they'd just about choke on their spit. Enter our state's new law about primary care physicians not prescribing narcotics. Oops. My doctor had to refer me to a pain management specialist simply to get the meds renewed that I'd been taking for years. Thus began my visits to a long line of assorted clowns who were granted the title "doctor" probably because they graduated last in their medical school class. The "good" thing that came out of that Adventure In Torture was that I was told repeatedly with shocked faces and tense voices, "I can't prescribe you THAT!" I was also told that dying cancer patients weren't prescribed fentanyl patches at doses as high as mine were. Then why were they made? Who needs pain relief more than someone who is dying? But I digress...At this point the decision was made for me to detox off fentanyl. This is a rather amusing story that illustrates the total ineptitude of certain pain specialists, but that would cause me to digress again, which I won't. As my regular doctor has said for years, I have a non-addictive personality and, even though I'd been medically hooked on fentanyl for 18 years, we parted ways with relative ease and minimum discomfort. Here's where it gets good. Very slowly, after I'd completed withdrawal, I realized I was experiencing a new sensation I hadn't felt in years. What was it called? Oh yes! Thinking! What had been diagnosed as fibro fog or brain fog from my fibromyalgia dissipated. Colors looked brighter. My family said my mood was better and I seemed happier. And for the first time in a long time I could sincerely say I enjoyed my life. The trade-off, of course, was the horrible increase in pain. I was told I'd become so acclimated to the drug that it was probably no longer effective at reducing pain. They were wrong about that. I don't care. I'm learning to push through the pain and be a fairly active grandma. Then I considered, if taking away one drug improved my mental outlook so much, maybe I needed to start whittling away at those 18 bottles. I've gotten rid of a few. Many my doctor and doctor daughter say are necessary. I've taken a break but I'm determined to get rid of more of those bottles. I am not saying that medications are wrong. I fully agree with my doctor that the pitiful woman she encountered almost 20 years ago wouldn't be where she is today without those meds. She had to tone down the physical pain to uncover the explosive buried emotional pain...which required more meds...while more pesky physical problems would pop up...and then more ugly emotional garbage. We juggled specialists as often as we did meds! For now, though, many have served their purpose. I know how much medications can help get us from a place of pain and frustration to a place of healing. I hope you can find what works best for you. It's so strange to feel like I have a functioning mind again. I didn't realize it was so far gone until I was gifted it back again. We can't recapture those years we've lost, Dewayne. I've realized I lost a big chunk of my life...an important part. At some point we need to put the past behind. For me that not only included almost 20 years of being emotionally and physically handicapped, but my entire childhood and well into my adult life as a part of a dysfunctional, abusive family. Excuse me while I get just a little churchy with you: Several years ago the emotional pain from my birth family was almost crippling. Emotionally I could no longer handle the flashbacks, the curiosity about the years of repressed memories, the horror of what I could remember, and the current pain those people continued to inflict on me. I went through a very visual mental exercise of walking up to the Cross and leaving all of those people and dumping all of that garbage and ugly baggage at the foot of the Cross. Then I visualized myself leaving it all there and walking away. I have never looked back. -mary
  24. Yep, you're right. I wanna punch everyone. I'm so miserable today. Being ignored by the agents and lawyers during one of the most important and difficult periods of your life sucks hard. I'm effing miserable this afternoon
  1. Load more activity
  • Create New...