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  2. For the last couple of months I never thought I'd see Covid bumped from the top news story . . . but I never imagined Covid anyway. Protest stats are starting to be put up with some news commentary. I've seen the total of protest/riot arrests, and just saw a percentage count of some sort relating to the rioting. Here come new stats, and models. When the president faces the press: "Mr. President, Americans understands that the causes for the riots are complex, could you give us an idea of the time involved to get back to normal?" 'Which normal?"
  3. Big tax increases for all! Great that means no red meat only chicken and bologna sandwiches 😣
  4. @thatguiltyboy, please breathe if you can good sir. Please slow down so you can stay in your OODA Loop.
  5. Being given misleading information and being criticized for acting on it as I was told to do so. Not being able to find/use the tools that I seem to need for the task I need to do. Not knowing what I feel that I should know. Being bitched at for asking a relevant question.
  6. Today
  7. If this virus was not going around, I would suggest going in to networking meetings. Right now I feel: tired, unsure and resentful.
  8. My gal found a new workout program she is in love with. It has a lot of variation so it keeps her interest. I'm doing the strength, hiit, tabata, and yoga portions with her, not the dance. She has a "resculpt yourself" workout guide with a checklist so 5 days/week she is doing it. Also got her on a fat burner that seriously kicks things up. This will be a slow 1lb at a time drop. Her goal is 5-10lbs over 12 weeks that is sutainable and makes lean muscle. Not just dropping pounds. She's 4 weeks in and seeing small results on the scale. So it appears we are on track and she's enjoying it. I like this group too. It's also an on demand program on the tube so we can workout out whenever we want and pick any exercise anytime.
  9. Yesterday was a nce cool day. Went on the bikes for a nice 15 mile loop. Did it end to end in about 75 minutes. Not bad. The better news is I mostly dissasembled my bike and cleaned out everything, greased all the joints, and reset the suspension, and bled the hydraulic brakes and sanded the pads and rotors. Full suspension mountain bikes are nice when you hit rough trails but they've got a lot of moving parts to clean and lube. Considering it's been a few years of riding without full service it's been running really well. It was way more than I wanted to spend when I bought it in 2014 but I'll never need to buy another bike again. This is built to outlast me.
  10. Yeah pretty much. Sounds nice having 15 different ingredients to pick from. Lot of cost and prep time. We'd end up throwing out half the veggies because we don't eat salad as much as we probably should. Maybe you need to stop by a salad bar for those days. We had taco salad last night. Tacos, steak, lettuce and spinach mix, avocado, peppers, salsa, sour cream.
  11. Not just any coffee, but real Kona! Thanks to my daughter and SIL. They got me some and I use it sparingly. Today is a Kona day.
  12. I understand what you are saying and kinda wish it was that way for me. At least then I would be accomplishing something. There are things I really need to do but have not been able to make myself do. It seems to be a combination of 'fear of failure' and 'nothing is going to work so why bother'. I had an 'interesting' experience toward the end of last week that has helped me feel some better. I am hoping to use that feeling to make progress. [Just a case of plans falling apart but everything turning out well anyway.] So basically I feel adrift in a way that could turn out good or bad. Time will tell.
  13. That's how I feel as well I've been doing things that "need to be done" all day. It's still technically spring and I've had probably 20 spring cleanings by now. I think it's us trying to be able to have control of anything we can right now in a time where the world is out of control. I don't believe what's happening right now is the end but of course I feel hopeless right now. It's been months of having no idea what you're going to wake up to when you turn on the news. You're afraid to turn it on but you have to turn it on to see what's happening today.
  14. I get what you're saying. I can't let go of certain things myself and kinda wish I could block it out sometimes...but I have to deal with this particular issue, so it's actually frustrating not being able to remember...but things are slowly coming back. ------- Unfortunately, I'm feeling like crap today. Only slept 5 hours. I will be trying to go back to sleep here soon, but for now I'm lonely and sad and then I'll start worrying about all the things I want and need to get done that I'll screw my sleep again. It's just utter b.s.! It's also pms. Haha!
  15. We paid our protection money I mean taxes so I'm not sure what's going on here.😒
  16. I understand your frustrations but after this year voting is the last thing on my mind. I will never vote again for anyone or anything because this year has shown me none of us really have any say about anything. When times get too tough certain people will step in and make all the decisions whether we like those decisions or not. We have the illusion of freedom as long as they allow us to have that illusion. Also vote Trump out and put who in there exactly. Let's be honest both choices we will have will make you scream in fear for one reason on another.
  17. There is no one in charge in this country. We are not safe. We never have been evidently. We are on our own. Dog eat dog. Annie get your gun!
  18. Rented scooter, seemingly abandoned smack in the middle of the sidewalk.
  19. @candy22 I am sorry that you're in pain physically, mentally, spiritually - I can't imagine the toll it is taking on you. You mentioned what you're doing to heal, the different forms of help you're accepting (including allowing us to see you) - I think this willingness as opposed to willfulness speaks highly of you. I don't know why these things happened/are happening. I take the view that a sign of growth is pain and struggle is universal. As for trauma, I suppose that there is no clock on the healing process. I think maybe that process is in stages: preparation, exploration, integration.
  20. It's Monday 2:00 AM. Uncomfortable Feelings: Sad: discouraged, dispirited, sorrowful, small/powerless, disappointed. Afraid: unsafe, alarmed, worried, panicked, horrified. Angry: outraged, irritated, hateful, disgusted/sickened, Surprise: shocked, speechless, disillusioned Where I'm feeling this: it feels like a dull, hot ache in my chest with some pressure like some hot invisible entity is sitting on me. My stomach feels very queasy, "alert condition yellow" as though tummy hasn't decided if it's gonna cramp or burn or both. It feels like a vice is tightening on my temples. There is an empty soreness behind my eyes. My throat feels tight. Comfortable Feelings: Loving: compassionate, grateful, respectful Interested: curious, playful, receptive Accepted: wanted, helpful, appreciated, included Confident: authentic/honest Where I'm feeling this: A very small warmth in the center of my chest that grows with even, deep breaths. A small smile at the corner of my lips - from looking a cat meme, from reading a few posts here on DF got me saying to myself, yeah buddy. Me too. My tongue (which was pressed against the roof of my mouth) is coming to rest on the bottom of my jaw. I feel a little easier now that I've written this.
  21. Hi @minmin. Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about the distress over your relationship. I have been cheated on, I remember how much it hurt. I think writing about it is great idea, it can help to organize thoughts, feelings and I really believe being heard is so important to our mental health. I'm sorry to hear you can't talk about it with friends and family at this time. If you'd like to write more, you might post in the Relationships forum or right here in the thread you began. While I'm not able to dispense advice, I will certainly listen and provide compassion, also partner with you to reflect on ideas you're already considering. Wishing you some peace.
  22. I can totally relate, greeneyedgadgetgirl. It's been brutal since most everything I relied on for social interaction has been shuttered here, and there are only two friends I see infrequently while practising social distancing. Sunset walks on local nature trails have helped a bit. I occasionally run into other singles. It's often just "hi" and occasionally a brief chat, but it helps me realize I'm not the only one in this predicament. Also, this way I get some exercise during these difficult times.
  23. I had a snack before bed a pound of chicken, half a box of frosted mini wheats and 2 cheese danishes.
  24. America is insane, and I am not talking about the protesters. A police state that imposes its hypocritical views about democracy, freedom, and equality on other countries. Not to be outdone, in Canada the cops are also shooting rubber bullets and tear gas at peaceful protesters. Neither country should be telling others how to live when our own countries are so broken. I'm supposed to be outraged because a building got burned down? Cops are ******* innocent people in their homes and on the streets, shooting tear gas and rubber bullets at peaceful protesters and journalists, ruining people's lives on false charges. And they do it confidently while they know people are filming. Nah. I don't agree with destroying the buildings of local businesses, but I will side with the vandals over the killers every single time. People weren't listening before. They're listening now.
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