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  2. 6545 so far. Feels like more than that. My poor body is struggling with lack of sleep. Anyway, gonna keep on truckin.... See you down the road
  3. Today
  4. Hi, I have been on Wellbutrin since August 9th 150mg XL. I got past the extreme tiredness and it has got me to move some but my mood is still up and down. I am already on 10mg of cipralex so I don't think upping the Wellbutrin would be an option right now. This would make it 6 weeks today that I have been on this med. Should I expect anything more in 2 weeks or 4 more weeks? Anyone with experiences ?
  5. I am the same. I am worried my friends will say negative things. YAAAY Coffee sounds good!
  6. Way back in fall of 1993 we were in Kamloops. We drove home in intermittent rain from Kamloops to Edmonton. It was beautiful. We could smell burning firewood.
  7. Yay duck! So glad you are getting a break I'm very tired again. Not enough sleep. I'm getting disturbed by my mom's schedule but it's better than the noise at my house I'll be heading out soon, maybe to the beach. I will meet you there for a coffee
  8. I am back at the house and they went for a vacation. I am home alone from September 11 to 23. I am searching for a quiet apartment/flat for myself. How are you today?
  9. Oh Bellerose! I have been there so many times. I go without a shower for three to four days and then I have breakfast at 10 pm. It's not good but we have to be patient with ourselves. Love ourselves.
  10. Are you having any luck with getting away from your sisters?
  11. I currently prefer renting now because house prices are so high. Finding a quiet place could be a challenge.
  12. Ah, that's a nice thought about the angel. Do you believe in them? I think I agree with you on the whole. It is cheaper to buy than rent. It's just that I have no money coming in and I'm pretty sick of being unable to do anything... It's been 12 years of having nothing. Narc mom has been covering my bills and giving me a tiny allowance. This has saved me the stress of working but left me with zero opportunities for growth or leisure activities....I can't even afford to go to the gym. She sucked me into this arrangement when I was going through a bad patch and I've been stuck in it ever since If I had savings or decent money coming in maybe I could rent while I searched for another place but I have very little cash and I'm stuck at my mom's. I'm in a gilded cage and being financially controlled. People on the outside would say I have it made but they can't see that I have no choices or control over my own life.
  13. Thank you Sventec! I slept all day Sunday but I tried not to get angry with myself. When I finally got up I was able to do some chores. I then took out the garbage and went for a drive. Bought McDonald's burger. Not healthy but I was able to relax.
  14. My mother helped me buy a house so it's kinda like she owns me now. She wouldn't want to see that money spent on anything other than another house whereas I'm scraping by year after year. I can't even afford to go to the gym.
  15. feeling like crap, no energy, no motivation, no hope
  16. Yesterday
  17. Well, I’m back again today anyways so I’ll update it’s going a little better. Like for a few minutes at a time I find myself not feeling shitty. But then something pops up in my brain, my heart starts racing, n I get thrown into those frustrating negative loops. Sometimes I notice I’m doing better, n the negative thought see that as an invitation. Sometimes there’s no thoughts that initiate it. It just happens when my brain isn’t distracted enough. I’d like to skip to next week, when this bout has passed.
  18. Sorry for your loss evalynn, i mask up indeed, and got vaccinated, and stay away from ppl
  19. How are you doing today? On edit: Duh...I merely had to read your latest post.
  20. Anhedonia is far better than anxiety.
  21. Thanks for writing this. Saved me the trouble of all that typing. It expresses my existence quite well.
  22. I hear ya. I've "trained" myself to not react to the negative posts that serve only to denigrate the original poster. Some people exist to put others down. Not worth our energy.
  23. Apathetic towards living my life. Any sort of slip up makes me feel like I’m so tired of myself. In bed day 2, need to shower but eh too much work. Should eat more than a couple handful of nuts for dinner at 1030PM and breakfast at 1PM. I feel bad for my husband. He’s so sweet n tries to take care of me. I wish I would respond as much as I’m sure he’d want me to
  24. Yesterday I helped load, unload and split four truck loads of firewood, got all my housework done...followed by a good night's sleep. Freaked out because the dread and fear and anxiety feel far away....
  25. Very sorry Evalynn. Hard to get used to that void, especially two losses in a short time. Bulgakov
  26. I know what you are saying.... and I feel bad for you. I dealt with that for too many years. Being fake is not my thing. Keep my mouth and mind shut neither. But Hey ! favorite food right there. Eat up and at least enjoy that part And look forward to the next day, which is Monday - new week new chances, new game, new views. That is how I live anymore.
  27. I found that humane people get angry for two reasons. They are either there is an injustice or there is a violation. And I think that this is because in both cases we may need the extra energy we get with anger. We might have to take a firm stance against the injustice or we might need to fight back against some violation. To overcome the anger I believe it is necessary to address the issue that gives rise to the anger. If we don't address the issue it is hard not to be angry.
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