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  3. I have always thought that God is merciful, especially to those afflicted with illness. Since OCD is an illness, I can't imagine God looking at you in any other way than as someone on whom He would wish to display great mercy.
  4. Right. sadly I dont but my mom was really nice today and bought clothes for the baby so that's a plus.
  5. Shes very lucky she has friends atleast. I feel I can't really open up to my bf/ child's father and I honestly feel like i just can't share my feelings with him. Also he'll be working so that means I'll have the babywhile he works. Im trying to find counselling its just hard bc I only have 1 car and everyone uses it. By the time I have my own car the baby will be here and I won't have time for therapy or anything. I don't have anyone that would watch my kids for an hr or 2 so i can have time for myself--so I don't know how this will work. i thought about adoption alot bc i know i don't have much help from familt but the dad is involved so he wants her. I think Im gonna let him get a bassinet for the baby and keep it at his place and on his days off he can watch her bc I need a break too dammit. opposed at first bc his house is a fixer upper but not too bad but I think i just need to let him do it so he can see how it's like first hand to be a parent. He can't if Im always trying to shield him. SO on his 3 off days he'll keep her I guess. I do hope his mom helps.
  6. All right, entire world, you have f---ed me well & thoroughly Had enough yet? Can pause it for even half a second??
  7. Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this.
  8. It's a very slow process for me. In my sobriety I try to be as good as I can be in life with the hopes that one day I can look at the overall picture of my life and be ok with it. I don't hate myself anymore. I'm to the level of just being here. I'm ok with myself at this point. I have a neutral feeling at this point I guess.
  9. I am fed up with life. Too many toxic people to deal with. I just had breakfast at 6 pm my time because my sisters were in the kitchen and bathroom all day. My medication schedule is ruined because I could not take them in the morning. This is BS. I have this form from insurance to fill which is a pain in the butt. I am thinking of giving up. I am tired of fighting with lazy doctors and therapists. Only in Canada.
  10. It's hard to tell you what to do. I know the mouse comes in the dryer vent. I could tape the flap shut when I'm not using the dryer but I don't. I let the mouse come in where I know it will be warm. I would probably let that animal come in too. I guess maybe you could put the cat in another room to sleep and close your bedroom door. I woudn't be able to sleep knowing the cat was staring at the wall either to be honest.
  11. Yesterday
  12. I will try YouTube! Sounds much better. My love of animals is extreme and my husband and I co-founded our wild animal refuge - PrideRock Wildlife Refuge almost 30 years ago. We care for lions , tigers, bobcats , bears and wolf hybrids. It has been the most rewarding part of my life but the losses are the hardest part and bring more sadness than I can bear at times. We also have about 20 dogs that have been dumped in our area and rescued by us. I have no kids, therefore these animals are my kids and I love them with all my heart! Our website is www.PrideRock.org if you would like to see our story!
  13. Animal rescue, very cool, but I am sure very distressing because you are helping to save helpless victims from terrible situations. I haven't been on Facebook for over four years now. It became time consuming and often full of bad news. My go to is youtube right now, where I can choose what I watch, and often get absorbed in ridiculous programs, that are calming or interesting... I sometimes turn on tictok, just for a laugh, cats doing funny things or a monkey opening a package with zippers in
  14. I think I've had the virus myself but I will never know for sure. I have zero trust in people and more than 10 months into this what has really changed? The words proven effective or FDA approved mean nothing to me. I've heard those words with all the other poisons they've given me. I don't think they have any idea what they're doing at all. They're just doing this or that putting in time waiting for it to go away on it's own and then they'll take all the credit for it.
  15. Coffee in the mornings.... Coke removed from diet, completely, go cold turkey on that one, you will feel better, believe me. the move will happen, good or bad, but you will move, try not to be too concerned or anxious.... do you have help, movers? Give them all your coke. how was your exercise today, what did you do? sleep well
  16. Glad you are back and feeling a bit better. DF has always helped me, I feel that talking or writing it down can help me get through the tougher hours in the day, and maybe even be like therapy for me. Its not all depressing in here, though we all suffer, constantly or intermittently those damn episodes. Sorry you have all the aggresivity and drama in your life. Can you try and push through it, music on your headphones or pods, and just write down on here how you are feeling. You know we will be here for you, to listen to how you are feeling. Happy that it calms in the evenings, can you talk to those involved and explain how it makes you feel. life is exhausting but we can live to enjoy some of it. I hope....hugs and understanding, you made a good call to share with us
  17. I had this virus, in October and am I guess what you call a long Covid sufferer, still no taste or smell, extreme fatigue etc. Now I have a cold, and once again I’m getting told to go get the test. Not a chance I am doing that again. I live a lonely life and suffer from anxiety every day just because of that.... so between getting another test and the vaccine, I choose neither. The variants they are conjuring up right now will make the vaccine ineffective anyway, so why risk it. The test will put me into isolation at home! Like that will change anything. I will I am sure take it one day, when its a pill, and proven effective or it is required to board my flight to Mars.... until then, I choose solitude.
  18. Curious; how would you define 'alone'? Because it's more than just not having anyone to talk to (and even that ain't true when you have the DF community) Alone means abandoned, left for dead. Having no one to help you.
  19. Thank you for the great reminders!! All good ideas. I’m involved in animal rescue which is a huge positive part of my life. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t need to be on Facebook so much because I get sadder and more depressed seeing all the horrible animal abuse that goes on.
  20. Dont give up on trying the medication route, whilst remembering that medications are generally effective on only about 30% of the people who try them. finding other options is also important, so what you eat, what you watch on TV, what you do socially is important too. Hang out with more positive inclined people, watch neutral programming or on line meditation, listen to music, breath properly etc.
  21. Still feeling the anxiety but has improved a little, GP has upped my dose to 40 mg starting Jan 27/21. Hoping this will make a positive difference.
  22. I'm talking about the metal flap on the building that they sneak through. If I don't hear it tonight I won't worry about it. But it's right where I sleep and the cat wont stay in bed he stares at the wall.
  23. Flapping so it might be a bird and it not leaving might mean it's watching a nest in there. Birds work together. The mother watches the eggs while the father goes to get them food so don't get too worried about it.
  24. Hi @Depressedgurl007. Thanks, although I am never going back to him. I don't quite. understand what turned around in your own marriage, but abusers rarely change, if ever. And marriage to me should not be a battlefield - not ever. I have a very different viewpoint, and I am guessing that your relationship is still very toxic and unhealthy if it is a battlefield. I disagree that we should be ready for the hills and valleys at any time - that sounds to me like a most unstable and unhealthy relationship. I refuse to take him back - he has hurt me too much, and I have no patience for waiting around for years while he fixes all his issues. And he has MANY MANY issues. Yes, we were once very happy, but the abuse and his control over me were too much for me to bare. He has NO respect, and I will not be with a man who doesn't treat me with respect at all times. I will meet someone else some day - I hope! And thanks so much on the new job!
  25. You're right it's time for sure. I love animals so much it makes me cry just thinking about them. People have the 2 year rule I think. That's why they treated me the way they did today. If they know someone you love passed away they try to avoid you completely for 2 years so they don't have to talk about it with you.
  26. Yah, that's how I feel and seem to be a lot too. Takes constant work, especially when I get really down....and I struggle to work at it consistently. It's exhausting.
  27. @sober4life - That dog let you pet it because it saw the good inside you. People tend to lose sight of that because they're too superficial. Animals aren't. When we met the dog that we were supposed to foster it came to us right away. When the owner left her with us she chilled out, wanted us to pat her and love on her. She has been our dog since she walked in the door. I have the adoption contract to get the owner to sign. She is happy here and so are we. She was also a therapy dog in training. I have the info and will sign up for the training once it is safe to start doing that. Visiting vets and seniors to brighten up their day and let her do what she seems to do naturally. You told me you had to be sure you could provide the dog a better life. I told you I believe you can. Without question my friend, without question. You need this as much the dog does. Go for it.
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