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      A Reminder that we are a PG13 Site   12/09/2016

      Please keep in mind that NO content can be posted that is not PG13!  No sexual content and definitely not images which is not permitted in a post! We will delete it.  Not even memes or humorous images should be posted, if you want these forums to continue. NO IMAGES! If you want to post an image, post the URL pointing it to your gallery.  Again, Depressionforums.org is PG13!! Thank you~ ~Forum Admin  

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  2. HI there. So I left DF on a rather negative note because of someone's negative comments towards me on my blog. That person has since been banned. I really need DF support right now.... I've missed so many of you lately. I am having a rough time. =( My fiance just moved here under two months ago. On Friday, I got downsized in my job to half time, and we only have my income to live on right now, which is now halved. He is looking for full time work and was hired by a local restaurant, but they've dragged their heels on getting him started for three weeks now. It's beyond frustrating... and now very stressful because we cannot live on my half an income alone. We were supposed to move on July 1 into a really great apartment (we both loved it) and now most likely cannot afford it. We have one week to decide, and not enough time for me to find another full time job in my field. I contacted my old employer to see if they would hire me back since they are currently hiring. I would need to earn and deserve their highest salary amount, which is the equivalent of what I was earning full time in my current role. If by chance they hired me on next week, we could potentially keep the new apartment... but chances are slim that will happen in just two days' time given the holiday on Monday..... we have until Thursday to decide on the new apartment. On top of that, I put in $4500 into the new apartment -- including first month's rent, last month's rent and security deposit. We really need all that money back if we're not moving in, and there's no guarantee. I feel really stressed out. I am trying not to freak out, and so is my fiance. We're both trying to stay positive and hopeful, but it's hard. There's so many factors involved..... but my anxiety is starting to rise through the roof. I know no one here can provide answers.... it's a matter of time to see how things unfold and pan out. But this is really the last thing we needed right now..... to basically lose my job.... Well, I believe it's only a matter of time before the company lays me off completely. UGH. UGH. UGH. UGH.
  3. What's awesome about sex is how much is raises your mood and makes your body feel amazing so it is very easy to get "addicted" to the high. However, the good news is that you are conscious of what your problem is and realize that the more you have sex without strings the more empty you will feel. With low self-esteem it is hard to do, but you have to channel what makes you happy through other means and specifically ones that can just involve you. I reach total euphoria when I get to be around people and have a great time, but that's not realistic because I can't be with these people 24/7. If you want to find somebody where you can have a meaningful relationship it, it will definitely happen. You just have to go about it the right way and not have sex with the person right away. Get to know the person and just enjoy the little things first. Porn isn't the worst thing in the world as long as you realize it's unrealistic and don't let it control your life. As for turning 30, thirty is so young still. Even your 40s. I promise that when you turn 30 nothing devastating happens and you will still feel as you did in your 20s. :)
  4. If you are able to quit an addiction it's a given that you have more strength than most people. Please give yourself more credit. You are strong. You help so many people here. You helped me more here than most people have helped me in my whole life.
  5. That is amazing. Just goes to show these devices we attach ourselves to are a form of self medicating/coping devices. Well they could, but they'd be wrong hehe
  6. When I found exercise I figured out anxiety is like unused energy that needs to be burned off. You can take anxiety pills but your mind will build up a dependence on them. You'll need more and more and sadly they are hard for anyone to take as prescribed. They are dangerous. Do they help anxiety? Yes of course but when they wear off you are guaranteed to feel more anxiety than you started off with because your brain will now need them to function.
  7. I haven't been through the anxiety medicine ringer, but I know what it's like to have anxiety suddenly pop out of nowhere. It is getting to the point where I am considering taking something, but at the same time in therapy I have learned to find its triggers and stop self-blaming. Don't be embarrassed about living back with your parents at your age. It's going to be a temporary thing as you WILL get better.
  8. Today
  9. The music from the Black Knight 2000 pinball machine. Glorious.
  10. Honestly if his intentions are good it should never be creepy to ask anyone out in any situation in my opinion.
  11. It's not creepy to ask somebody if you've been acquainted before. It's common to bump into old classmates or colleagues many years later. The worst she can say is no and if she does, you move on in the conversation.
  12. I'm going to be doing online dating myself soon. I worry about getting into the same situation as you because it isn't what I want either. I'm looking to find the love of my life there. If I wanted meaningless sex I could go to the bar every day which I want no part of. I fear that I will attract more toxic people into my life because I seem to be an ***** magnet but to be honest I fear being alone more.
  13. I hope things work out for you so much. I'm like you health problems have gotten in the way for a while now. I'll be joining dating websites in a few days myself. My problem is probably the other way. I'll be too confident and probably message everyone on the site.We can do this though.
  14. I think a lot of women fall into this trap. I see this story playing out with a lot of my friends (around your age). So this definitely isn't a unique predicament. But it's a sad one, because you're absolutely worthy of a caring, devoted life-partner whom you can be physically and emotionally intimate with. These guys online are ultimately using you, and probably other women on the dating site as well. Not only do these encounters undermine your self-worth and personal values, and inflict emotional pain, but they put you at risk of getting an incurable STD. It's just not worth it. You are still very young and you have plenty of time to find a decent guy who will provide you the closeness and intimacy you so desperately want. But if you keep on with these douchebags online, you might miss opportunities to spend time with a good guy. DON'T be suckered in by attractive jerks, for the love of god. I spent 5 awful years with a horrible abusive boyfriend because he was very attractive and thought I couldn't get better...what a joke! To be honest, I haven't dated a guy as good-looking as him since (to me my husband is the sexiest guy in the world, but I just mean from an objective perspective), and I now realize looks are such an incredibly dumb reason to value a person. I mean there has to be chemistry and attraction of course, but if you open your mind you'll see you can have that with more people than you might think. There's nothing wrong with porn, but just remember that's a fantasy world, and in reality, sex can have a profound psychological, emotional and physical impact. It shouldn't be used to achieve fleeting emotional intimacy, unless you really think you're okay with that. It sounds like you aren't, though. Do you get any therapy? Have you tried dating sites for those seeking serious relationships? I recommend you google a website called Baggage Reclaim, and read the blogs about unavailable men and a**clowns. I think you can relate and get some good advice there.
  15. I will never give up on you.
  16. Same here...I'm sorry.......I hope at least some of us enjoy the weekend. I won't. Even my last friend gave up on me, because she got tired. I don't blame her.. that's life...
  17. That's so cute, haha.
  18. I slept (mostly) through the night! The cure? Read really terrifying but addicting stories in the daytime that make you stay up for fear of being killed by supernatural forces or an axe ******er. Seriously I kept hearing noises on the ground floor and stairs every time I drifted off. My dog calmly sleeping by me was the only thing keeping me from having a full panic attack. It was terrible but it worked.
  19. Big hugs, M!!!! Sorry you're feeling this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etcetera
  20. (((((((( @womanofthelight )))))))
  21. 12
  22. I've been through the meds ringer like you and none of them worked for me. Diet and exercise has worked for me better than anything I ever tried before. My anxiety used to be terrible but cardio exercise has taken that anxiety away almost completely.
  23. My smoking addiction ended the day I wasn't homeless anymore. I got my own apartment and that lifted me out of clinical depression at the moment. We did do good. Nobody can ever tell us that we aren't strong people.
  24. Hi all, Was more active on the site years ago. Went away as was coping but back now as in a hole for the last 15 months. Basically about a year ago, my anxiety was through the roof. So much so, I have lost two jobs because of it and am reduced to living with my parents (I'm 42!!!) because I am scared of being alone. The anxiety came out of nowhere The past year has been a roller-coaster of meds, with firstly a combination of Lexapro and Dalmane. Then, my GP changed me to Zyprexa / Lexapro. That was having no effect so about November, he swapped Lexapro for Effexor. We waited more than 6 weeks to see if any of the doses of Effexor would work and it hasn't. So now, nearly 6 months in, I am on 300 mg and worried that it won't work (currently into the second week). I am petrified of changing medication and on top of that is all the other hassles. The worst thing is that I have time to take it easy and get my head back, but each day is filled with regret and racing thoughts (some of them very dark). I am at my wits end at times, but would just like to hear from anyone who has been through the meds ringer - how do ye keep going? There are days I want to throw in the towel, but I do get up and do something in the day. I go from somewhat optimistic to plain apathetic.
  25. (((womanofthelight)))
  26. I wish I was dead. I just want to die. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. ETCETERA.
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