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Midnight thoughts

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Just been trying to get to sleep and the following thoughts came through my mind: I can't believe when people say they like/love me. Even to the extent that someone I was close to at the TC, who has now left and I met weeks ago, I coulldn't belileve that he likes me (not in a sexual way). People can say it over and over again and I can't believe it. That makes me cry. :tear3:i need reassureance that I am doing ok at my job, at my voluntary work at anything. Saw something on TV just 1/2hr ago, about small girls dressed up as minipop, wearing makeup and skintight clothes and thought that child sexual abuse is rape. I rape myself or I have raped myself. Not in the physical sense but by how I let myself be used by men. I don't think I could ever have a decent, relationship with a man.After 2 years at a Therapeutic Community and loads of pshychotherapy, I now see my problems, just can't fix them. Before the TC I knew things were wrong but not what. Maybe for some, therapy only lets us see whats wrong.

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You've just completed that first step Eileen. You can see what is wrong now. Now you can begin working on fixing what is wrong. It took two years to get to this point, and it may take two years or more to fix things. But that is okay because you are brave and strong to be working so hard on it and to be facing your issues and not running from them or raging at them. You are ready to begin to heal.

That is something to be very proud of. :cry:

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