I’m sad that this is the only place I can let out my anguish and anger and how upset I am with everything that’s happening to me. I don’t care about what people say to be grateful for all that I have. I am grateful but I’m also tired. I’m a horrible person I know. I know you want to die but so do I and so do many other people on this earth. You think we love to take care of you? You think we want you to keep taking those cholesterol medicine and high blood pressure medicine and whatever medicine you’re prescribed?? You think we don’t wish for you to die?? I’m not in the position to wish I’m dead because I can’t survive on my own. But if you want to die so badly, then pray to God to let you die cos sadly it seems the people on earth have to force you to live. But of course I can’t have this attitude. I have to be the person who listen to all your insults and repeat all the horrible things I did over and over again keeping quiet and patient and keeping everything inside me. Patience. Ahahahahah. 

Edit: I’m complaining too much…I need to learn to accept what’s happening to me and control my emotions and feelings accordingly…God, make this phase of life easy for me and for my mother-in-law…