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It's a Mixed Bag Right Now


RiverLight

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My husband and I have been back together since June, so 6-7 months. And we've been almost living together fully for the last 3 months. We are happy again and he has changed by 180 degrees. He is sweet, he is loving, he is generous, and he is kind. He is everything I ever wanted him to be towards me. Gone are all the yelling and the toxic elements of our relationship, that all stemmed from HIM. He is in individual therapy and we are also in couples therapy. So I am very happy to say that he has eliminated and ceased all past abusive behaviors. So, we're happy again and he's moving back in officially in Jan/early Feb - it will have been a full year of living apart in separate residences... so this is all very positive! 

However, I personally have major pandemic fatigue and some amount of depression going on. I've been rejected for 5-6 jobs now and was a finalist in four rounds, getting rejected in the final rounds of interviews. I don't know what's going wrong in that final round, but it's soooo discouraging when I really want another job and to leave my company. 

And the pandemic has gotten to me. No longer can we see live music 1-2 times per week because all venues close to us have shut down permanently. The one music venue that is live is an hour away, and that's very difficult to do during the work week. So our music therapy is gone! That was my salvation - live music and seeing live music during the week. Now it's gone and it's very depressing. 

BUT it's Christmas, and I'm not only buying gifts for others but I'm buying gifts for myself too - to cheer myself up. I've been on a spending spree but it's making me happier. 

We're also quitting smoking and I'm going to exercise again come January - I will swim laps 3 days per week and I really want to get back into shape again. I gained 15 pounds over the last 3 years, so I want to try to shed most of that extra weight so I can feel good and sexy again. I miss feeling that way about my body. 

So, yeah, it's all a mixed bag right now, but overall, I guess I am really Ok. I am just tired of this pandemic already. I get my booster shot on Dec 19. 

 

 

Edited by RiverLight

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