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Why do bad things always happen to me?


RiverLight

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I've been in a toxic work environment for 2.5 years in total. I was laid off a year ago and they hired me back on this past April. I came back to escape a far worse environment that I desperately needed to escape from. So I went from one bad company back to another. Why does this seem to always happen to me? I've had the WORST luck with jobs - over and over and over again, I land in a toxic work environment, with bully bosses and/or bullying co-workers. 

Since being hired back on, my former boss, a toxic boss who had tried to undermine me had left, a new one came on, then he left and now I have a new female biotch of a boss. The new boss is just as toxic as my former boss and may even be worse. She is overtly biotchy, terse and apparently loves to blame, point fingers, call people out and cc the VP when doing so. She's been here all of two weeks, and already I cannot stand her and want to leave my job again. And I think she's targeted ME out of all team members to gang up on. She's called me out twice now via email, cc'ing the VP.

I've been trying to leave this company for the last 3 months. The male boss before her was actually OK, but the extremely high turnover in the company has gotten to me, along with the the high stress of agency life, and I just want out. 

So far I've been rejected for three different jobs. For two of them, I had made it to the final round of interviews and then was rejected. I had an interview Friday, which was a bad fit and now I have another initial phone screen on Monday. 

I feel like my life has been one long string of unfortunate and bad circumstances and I cannot seem to escape from this pattern. Do I have seriously bad karma? I am a good person, so why do I deserve a life of sheer misery???????? I cannot seem to find a good/healthy work environment or boss - do they even exist????????? 

WHY is my life CONSTANTLY SO HARD?!?!??!! 

I am SICK of this. I have had SI lately and have wanted to just end it all on many occasions lately. I cannot take another challenge. I feel I am being tested, but WHY?!? Every time I reach my breaking point, something DOES happen, something positive, and I end up getting out of it. This makes me feel like there's a higher power watching over me, yet who is testing my limits. I don't get it. I'm done with being tested like this, and I cannot take it anymore. 

Why can't my life just be happy and smooth?!?? 

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WHY is my life CONSTANTLY SO HARD?!?!??!! 

I am SICK of this. I have had SI lately and have wanted to just end it all on many occasions lately. I cannot take another challenge. I feel I am being tested, but WHY?!? Every time I reach my breaking point, something DOES happen, something positive, and I end up getting out of it. This makes me feel like there's a higher power watching over me, yet who is testing my limits. I don't get it. I'm done with being tested like this, and I cannot take it anymore. 

Why can't my life just be happy and smooth?!?? 

I know how you feel.  This has been my life for as long as I can remember as well.  I just want peace and happiness for both of us.❤️:sniffle1:

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8 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel.  This has been my life for as long as I can remember as well.  I just want peace and happiness for both of us.❤️:sniffle1:

Me too, Sober, me too. :hugs:

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