As the title says, I have had a couple of thoughts that have been running/racing thru my brain, awake, asleep. listening to my strange collection of music, the thoughts keep talking.
One thought is that I have discovered that people always disappoint me. Be it family or one of the few friends I got, I always get disappointed. I know how I am treated by them but I still keep hoping that one day they will surprise me & actually acknowledge me or not just contact me when they need me. I know someone famous wrote that the definition of insanity is to keep repeating the same pattern & expecting a different result.
The second thought is why do I keep losing track of time. I lost a whole day one week, don't know what I did that day, can't even remember if I got dressed or ate. Last weekend, I was outside, trying to clean the yard & I took a break & I lost track of time. I was just sitting & smoking a cigarette. I remember lighting the cig but it burned down without me smoking it. I was just staring off into space. No thoughts I was conscious of. It was concerning enough that I talked about it with the therapist. I remember when I was able 6 yrs old & my Dad had at breakdown & he sat in the same chair for 6 months.
I found a couple of quotes that "spoke" to me:
"Sometimes you just have to log out of caring for a while" --unknown
"It's okay to disappear until you feel like you again" --unknown
And there was this one: "psychology says 'crying is the brain's way saying something is wrong when the mouth can't find the words.."