Right now life is a challenge. I am not working, it's COVID, I am not finding many jobs to apply for and I am a bit bored. I go to the beach at least once a week for therapy. I went yesterday with my husband, and today I am going to the beach alone, which I don't mind doing at all.
It is very cathartic for me -- the lapping ocean waves, the seagulls, the sand, the sun and just good 'ole R&R. The beach does wonders for me mentally and emotionally so I am going as much and as often as possible, despite the 40 minute drive.
I also found out or realized that my boss and my manager did me in at work. They manipulated a situation and deliberately set me up for failure. Now that I see they actually did this to me, I am absolutely disgusted and stunned by their behavior -- SO despicable -- I hope and pray to God that the truth comes out one day about their ineptitude and BS. I hope they both get fired for their lack of skill and leadership, and even more so, I hope they get fired for their lies and manipulations. Justice needs to be served here, even though I am no longer suffering under their thumbs and am thankful to no longer be dealing with their BS.
I need to find a boss and people above me who will not feel threatened by my skills and talents. I am not egotistical at work at all or in front of my teammates, but I do shine and I always have. I share my successes, but I don't gloat or brag - I just do my work and try to help others to learn what I know so that they can be successful too.
But corruption and ineptitude among the higher ups seems to be prevalent in a lot of work places and it's so very discouraging. My parents keep saying I should open my own business. I just don't know. That would take some funding, which I don't have at the moment.
Because of all of this I had a cloud of depression hanging over me yesterday, but today it seems to have lifted. I don't remain depressed for very long when I do go down that spiral. My husband bought me a huge bouquet of my favorite flowers to cheer me up. I am looking at them now and they do put a big smile on my face. He keeps buying me fresh flowers to keep my spirits up -- very sweet!
So I am sitting here in my living room about to head to the beach, and I am listening to one of my favorite older bands from my earlier years in adulthood. It brings me back to my days of living in Colorado - when life seemed much more simple and free.
Today I think I will take a nice long walk along the shore. Maybe I will pick up seashells for my collection. I am going to hold onto hope and positive thoughts today.
And in about one month I turn 50. WOW. I guess I am feeling rather reflective and pensive given that fact. I don't feel my age -- to me, I am forever 32 or 33 in spirit.
So, on that note, it's time to get my suit on, pack up my cooler, get in my car, blast my favorite songs and drive to the ocean -- my haven, my therapy.