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9PM, the depression suddenly hit hard. Panicky, suicidal thoughts were intense (be reassured: I will NOT act on them). I took a Valium to help calm myself, and called a good friend. She kept me talking for almost an hour, and I could finally feel the dark curtain lifting.

Episodes like this are frightening, especially the speed at which they come on. I'm exhausted now.

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You have alot going on in your life...a big congrats on the dinner party especially when you were in so much pain.

Take one day at a time...try to look at one event or task at a time so things dont look so overwhelming. Hang in there you will get past this stage you have done it before.

Kind regards,


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Looks like you did what you had to do to make you feel a bit better, smart thing to call your friend (she must be a great friend :buttrock:)

I hope you are feeling okay now..........unfortunately depression comes with good days and bad days........and mood changes can happen at all hours of the day.......


SN :Coopyahoo:

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Karen, I'm glad you had someone to call while waiting for the valium to take effect.

You are doing so much and dealing with so much, just reading it made me exhausted, no wonder you're hurting.

It's wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your daughter. That's shown in so many of the things you've posted. It's so sad that her father is so self-centered, and self-absorbed that he can't be bothered with things and people that are important to her. How nice of you to reach out to them, and invite them over. What jerks they are for not accepting.

I hope that your New Year is good. deb

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