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"You have to love yourself." What BS.


JD4010

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All of this pop psychology dogma says that I have to love myself. Am I the only one who thinks that's a massive load of bullsh!t? What's there to love about me? I suck grievously in a myriad of ways. I can't do anything right. The universe conspires to force everything I try to do right off the rails. I don't know why I even bother to try.

I thought I had made this stupendous breakthrough at work today. I actually felt excited for a change. Yeah...well, no. It was just another false hope in an endless string of false hopes. As soon as I discovered my breakthrough was a mirage put forth to tease me once again, I fell back into my normal state of despair.

The only function I have in this universe is to siphon off bad luck from other people so they can enjoy their lives more.

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When greeting cards and fridge magnets salt fertile minds, pop psychology is what we get. Self-worth and self-love are not the same thing. Self-worth is the thing that won't let you take no for an answer and try again, tomorrow, to be a genius. 

All love is respiratory. Breath love into what you do and love will come back. Sometimes we have to re-learn this. 

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Well I would have to agree with you in general, JD. But not about YOU though!


I find it impossible to “love myself”. 

“Forgive yourself”.

”Be gentle with yourself”. Oh yes. Plenty bs in the arsenal of pop psychology.
 

The thing is there aren’t kid gloves in the world that change anything. Some of us stay stuck regardless how we treat ourselves. In fact anything I do amounts to nothing at all.

 “Stuck” is in fact the wrong expression. It’s more like not really existing in the first place.

Life feels unreal, pointless and ..wait for it..empty.

That is how I have felt most of my life. I am a colossal failure at living. I don’t like anything. Nothing is worth the effort. Nothing interests me, not really. Not even ending this life. That is not yet..I think I am getting there though. 

 

8 hours ago, Gisele said:

Self-worth and self-love are not the same thing. Self-worth is the thing that won't let you take no for an answer and try again, tomorrow, to be a genius. 

All love is respiratory. Breath love into what you do and love will come back. Sometimes we have to re-learn this. 

I really like the way you express yourself, Gisele.

But I don’t know how to do any of that. I don’t really know what “love” even is. Self-worth?  Nope. I don’t get that either. God I even have trouble with breathing.

.

Empty and pointless are the two words that describe me best. Hopefully, soon, “dead” will be the third word that describes me. Oh wait. It does. 

Surely there is a law of physics that prohibits an entity like me, what ever “me” is.

Horror vacui.

 

Sorry about hijacking your blog, jd.

Edited by samadhiSheol
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3 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

Well I would have to agree with you in general, JD. But not about YOU though!


I find it impossible to “love myself”. 

“Forgive yourself”.

”Be gentle with yourself”. Oh yes. Plenty bs in the arsenal of pop psychology.
 

The thing is there aren’t kid gloves in the world that change anything. Some of us stay stuck regardless how we treat ourselves. In fact anything I do amounts to nothing at all.

 “Stuck” is in fact the wrong expression. It’s more like not really existing in the first place.

Life feels unreal, pointless and ..wait for it..empty.

That is how I have felt most of my life. I am a colossal failure at living. I don’t like anything. Nothing is worth the effort. Nothing interests me, not really. Not even ending this life. That is not yet..I think I am getting there though. 

 

I really like the way you express yourself, Gisele.

But I don’t know how to do any of that. I don’t really know what “love” even is. Self-worth?  Nope. I don’t get that either. God I even have trouble with breathing.

.

Empty and pointless are the two words that describe me best. Hopefully, soon, “dead” will be the third word that describes me. Oh wait. It does. 

Surely there is a law of physics that prohibits an entity like me, what ever “me” is.

Horror vacui.

 

Sorry about hijacking your blog, jd.

Oh gosh no. You didn't hijack the blog. You merely further expanded upon what I started. My ADD doesn't allow me to write much at one sitting so my posts tend to be brief.

That, and I don't have much to say that I haven't already said a billion times before. 

I've loathed myself since I was very young...maybe six years old. Even by then, I knew full well that I wasn't designed for the same kind of life everyone else was living. I was a weirdo and an "outlier".  Finding that kind of thing out when one is very young is traumatic. It has stayed with me through all of these decades.

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