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I can't "move on".

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I met my (former?) girlfriend here on DF. You probably know that already because I keep bringing it up. I haven't heard from her in over two years. That obviously means it's "over" but there was never a definitive end to the relationship. If only I knew what happened to her.

I didn't listen well enough to her. I was too arrogant and full of myself. As a result, she's gone.

I've tried and tried to move on, but I can't. I'll see something or somebody that reminds me of her and I'll fall right off the cliff again.

I looked at some of her old blog posts and she was hurting so badly. But I apparently couldn't be bothered to give her enough support and encouragement. Again, it comes down to my own arrogance.

If I didn't hate myself enough already, this sorry & never-ending episode in my life grinds me right into the ground.


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This is stupid. Dwelling on the past like this will keep me walled in. Yeah, my heart is broken and always will be. But I need to travel on. If she ever gets back in contact, I will be the happiest guy in the world. If not...well, I will have to carry on anyway.

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