Sometimes we just need a little inspiration, you know? And we all have a different idea of what that is. I know someone who reads those memoirs of people who have been through horrific events and overcome them. I know another person who enjoys interacting with the kids that come in to the library. As for me, who knows... I guess it depends. I suppose what inspires us changes, doesn't it? It's not always the same thing. What picks me up when I"m really dragging the ground (like this morning)? Focusing on things I enjoy that I can take with me in some way. A celebrity I like, a saying that has meaning for me.... sometimes I just lean into the struggle and let it push me where it will. I learn alot that way. Doesn't always work for getting my game face on and being out in the public.
Don't get me wrong, my spiritual beliefs are my rock - my belief in God is what keeps me going. Sometimes I just need something that makes me feel positive in some way - I guess that's what inspiration is, isn't it? Something that elevates us in some way? Too many things - including my spiritual beliefs - cause me to castigate myself and trigger a neverending round of self loathing. So some of the things that others may find inspirational tend to trigger negative reactions in me. Many times, I think of fictional characters that I identify with. I know that character isn't real - but the person who created it is. And that lets me know that somewhere out there is someone who knows what it's like to be me - or part of being me, anyway. That is why characters like Detective John Kennex or Castiel Novak or Dean Winchester or John Grimm inspire me. Not because of their fictional actions, but because the person who envisioned them, the person who gave them life, knows those character traits. So it's really that person, nameless, unknown, that I connect with. Kennex is, after all, only what he's written to be. But someone had to pull from their own experience, or their understanding of someone else, to create him.
Staff Sergeant John Grimm, RRTS Hellfighters Squad:
John Kennex, Detective, Delta Section of The City
Castiel Novak (or Castiel Shurley), Seraph and perpetual Dean rescuer
Dean Winchester, protective big brother, accepter of all the blame (whether he earned it or not)