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What am I to do?

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What am I to do?


I have given everything.


I have done everything I can, and more.


I am extremely tired. I am extremely depressed. I am usually this way.


I wonder if I am stupid, if all of my ideas and choices are wrong, and that's why things are this way - This is incorrect, and there's no reasonable argument for that. But the feeling persists.

I wonder if I am inherently a bad person, and just don't see what I am doing that is so evil and disgusting that the world hates me so passionately. - This... I don't know, I have done everything I can for so many people for so many years. There is a point where I have to stop and ask what is there left to give? I have been trying to prove to myself that I am a good man, and I don't know what there is left to do... but I feel hated by strangers. I know I am loved by a few people, and for that I am enormously grateful. But I also feel hated by everyone who doesn't know me; it has always felt like there is a mark on my face that indicates I am the devil himself, and that there is absolute justification to despise, and inflict harm upon me. I don't know what to do about that, but it is a feeling that has so far lasted for my lifetime.




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Hey there. I am so sorry that you feel this way. I always feel that everyone is distrusting and eventually going to hurt or leave me. I constantly question my sanity and weather or not I am a good person. You are not alone and I can assure you that you are not devil himself. Most people who haven't had or experienced mental issues will never have any idea just how hard it is to wake up of a morning. If you can even think of one reason to do that, please cling to it. I am so sorry that I cannot give you better advice.  Just know that we are all here for you. 

Edited by Bree1234

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