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Pain and paranoia

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samadhiSheol

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Paranoid and pissed off. 

I am sick and tired of the constant tendon pain I experience. There is nothing that works. There is no pain if I do absolutely nothing. But the pain is back immediately after activity, any activity. Just carrying a shopping bag(doesn’t have to be heavy) will flame my elbow. Walking hurts the ball of my foot. 

I am tired of this life going nowhere. Except south of course. I feel it crumbling around me. Good riddance if you ask me. 

Just today I had the thought that my wife might be having an affair. The thought came out of the blue. There is NOTHING to indicate she is in fact having an affair. Yet there are moments I am certain (not that I could really blame her. I have never been the catch of the century and what she sees is largely fakery and pretence perfected in the 20 odd years we have been together. Lately I have been in  a foul broody mood most of the time when I can’t cover up the fact that I am pissed off all the time).

A couple years ago I was sure my wife and my (few)friends were laughing at me behind my back, planning something at my expense. Then I thought df was in fact a front for a psychological test and that most of you if not all of you weren’t in fact real at all, but testing me and some other basket cases for your diabolical purposes. I even went as far to think df was an elaborate A.I project testing the gullibility of the aforementioned “test group”.

And it’s all coming back.

Paranoia, paranoia.

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Wow. Sorry about the paranoia. It's a tough thing to shake for sure.

Recently, the tendonitis in both of my elbows has reappeared. I'd gone months without feeling it but suddenly, it's back. Oh joy.

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17 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Wow. Sorry about the paranoia. It's a tough thing to shake for sure.

Recently, the tendonitis in both of my elbows has reappeared. I'd gone months without feeling it but suddenly, it's back. Oh joy.

Oh no..not you too. 

I had "tennis" elbow for three consecutive years in my right elbow. Never truly cleared up and all the treatment I got was pointless. Now I have it in my left elbow. Been about a year now. The only thing that "works" is doing absolutely NOTHING. It flares up after a few hours at work or carrying a not-too-heavy bag. 

Most times I just don't care anymore. So I go boxing and it flares up. But it will flare up what ever I do or don't do so I might as well just work through the pain.haha.

Not paranoid at the moment btw. Not much anyhow.

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

I blew out my elbows with push ups. I could do a zillion of them. Until one day I couldn't. I've been in pain since 2012.

That totally sucks.. I got “frozen shoulder” (again) from doing pull ups a couple of years ago. I have got back to doing them again after nearly a year, but way less then before. I still can’t “dead hang” properly.

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