Paranoid and pissed off.
I am sick and tired of the constant tendon pain I experience. There is nothing that works. There is no pain if I do absolutely nothing. But the pain is back immediately after activity, any activity. Just carrying a shopping bag(doesn’t have to be heavy) will flame my elbow. Walking hurts the ball of my foot.
I am tired of this life going nowhere. Except south of course. I feel it crumbling around me. Good riddance if you ask me.
Just today I had the thought that my wife might be having an affair. The thought came out of the blue. There is NOTHING to indicate she is in fact having an affair. Yet there are moments I am certain (not that I could really blame her. I have never been the catch of the century and what she sees is largely fakery and pretence perfected in the 20 odd years we have been together. Lately I have been in a foul broody mood most of the time when I can’t cover up the fact that I am pissed off all the time).
A couple years ago I was sure my wife and my (few)friends were laughing at me behind my back, planning something at my expense. Then I thought df was in fact a front for a psychological test and that most of you if not all of you weren’t in fact real at all, but testing me and some other basket cases for your diabolical purposes. I even went as far to think df was an elaborate A.I project testing the gullibility of the aforementioned “test group”.
And it’s all coming back.