It’s been a while since I posted on this blog. I completed my anxiety group in January and for a while things seemed to be going okay. The Cymbalta was working, I was feeling pretty energized, things were going okay. February was really rough. It was exceptionally cold and most of my energy was put into just getting out of the house each day. I made the mistake of admitting to an acquaintance that I was developing feelings for him, and regardless of his answer, that admission really made me realize how fragile I still am. I’m not ready to put myself out there and make myself vulnerable. I don’t have love to give right now, and I’m not ready to receive it either. I’m used to my relationships being a case of me giving and giving and giving until there’s nothing left but a hollow shell, and I am discarded. I don’t know what a healthy relationship even LOOKS like. I used to feel a sort of panic, like I should work really hard at finding someone new, but now I see that it’s just not the right time. The timing can’t be forced. I feel okay in waiting and resting and getting better and moving forward slowly.